I'm wrong with this idol

They chatted about where to go to college, what major to study, and how to live in the future.In order to catch up with Qin Shen's score, Qi Lele forced himself to hang himself on the beam and stay up all night to work hard.They agreed, so naturally and tacitly, to go to the same city and go to the same school.

The outside world is so big, he never took a step out.But he is not afraid at all.

Because there is still you.

In the second semester of the third year of high school, before school officially started, Qin Shen told Qi Lele that he was leaving.

Qi Yue seriously thought he was joking.

Qin Shen still had that calm expression, but Qi Yue quickly discerned the solemnity in it.

Qi Yue asked, where are you going?

He knew that Qin Shen had a very prosperous father in a big city.

Do you want to go to your father's place early?

It's fine, you can go first... Isn't it just half a year, there are so many universities there, I can always get into one.

Qi Le is wiping his nose and laughing.

Qin Shen still looked at him calmly.

Qi Le couldn't laugh anymore.

Where are you going?

It's to my dad.Qin Shen said.

but.

My father left the country three years ago.

Qi Yue froze.

go abroad...

He never thought about such a distant term.

He can take the test to S city, he can take the test to B city, and he can work hard to get to any first-tier city.But he can't leave the country.

He doesn't have that much money.

Qi Yue stared at Qin Shen blankly.

Didn't you say that you will never be with your father in this life?

Didn't you agree that you will go to the same university?

sorry.Qin Shen said.

and……

Qin Shen clenched his fists, declaring death like a helpless doctor.

A teenage death.

We may not be able to contact you for a while...

It took Qi Lexi a long time to understand this sentence.

Short term, how long?

a month?

a year?

two years?

lifetime?

Qin Shen, do you want to say, break up?

He wanted to say no.

no.no.no.

But he didn't know how long the "short term" was.

Is he going to drag Qi Yue and let him wait here day by day, year after year?

When he grows up, when he has the ability to dominate life and everything?

How long was that?

Is he going to make Qi Yue wait so cruelly?

Nor can he say yes.

All he could say was, sorry.

I'm leaving tomorrow.He said.

sorry.goodbye.

Qin Shen turned around and walked forward step by step.Qi Lele called him from behind, his voice was almost a roar.

Qin Shen, you left today, in this life——

In this life, don't come back again.

Qin Shen didn't look back.

This sentence exhausted all Qi Le's strength.He slowly squatted down, his vision blurred by the scorching tears, and he wanted to speak, but he was choked by the cold air, only coughing intermittently.

That day, he squatted there, weeping in embarrassment.He didn't know if anyone passed by or saw him.He kept waiting, waiting for Qin Shen to stay where he was, or waiting for him to turn back and tell him that he was just teasing him.

But after a long time, he looked up, and all he saw was an empty alley.

The next day, Qi Lexi wiped his face and took the initiative to reconcile with Qin Shen for the first time.When he gets angry, he will speak harsh words indiscriminately, Qin Shen understands.

Qi Lele went to Qin Shen's house and rang the doorbell, but no one answered.

The neighbor's uncle passed by, hey, Xiao Qi is here?

Qin Shen?He and his mother left last night.There are a lot of bags and bags, and a lot of luggage has been moved.

Qi Lele's face turned pale, and his palms felt cold. He rushed home and dialed Qin Shen's cell phone number from his landline.

The number you dialed is an empty number.

Qi Lele borrowed a mobile phone from a classmate and sent Qin Shen a WeChat message.

The other party has deleted the account.

Qi is willing to poke Qin Shen's seldom-used penis.

The avatar becomes the default penguin, and the name becomes a period.No signature, dynamically emptied.

The person who confronted him, quarreled with him yesterday, and accepted his unreasonable troubles as always, disappeared from this world overnight.

Qi Le is willing to do everything possible to frantically search for Qin Shen's trace.

If you can't find Qin Shen, you will look for all the traces left by him.

He borrowed the notes that he hadn't returned yet.Clothes he left at home.He owes the scribbles he drew on his reference book while reviewing together.The glass he drank from.

Everything that smells of him.

Teachers, classmates, neighbors, food stall owners, Internet cafe owners... so many people have truly proved to Qi Yue that Qin Shen existed as a whole.

He just left.

Thoroughly, decisively, left.

Qi Le couldn't figure it out.I have been wondering all the time.

Where is the problem?

Is it his problem?

Did he do something wrong?

Did he do something to make Qin Shen hate him?

Or his character?Him?

Qin Shen hated him in the first place?

He has known Qin Shen since the first day of junior high school.All his youth was his.

He didn't know whether Qin Shen liked him first or he liked Qin Shen first.

He didn't even know that was liking.

He only knew that if he wanted to be with this person, no matter what he did, no matter how long it took, he would never get tired of it.

As if this is what life is supposed to be like.There is no other possibility.

He thought life would go on like this.There is no other possibility.

Why did Qin Shen give up on him so easily?

What is wrong?

For the first time and the only time in his life, he liked someone so much, and he loved this person wholeheartedly even in the space of breathing. Was it wrong?

For more than a month, Qi Lele was full of Qin Shen's business, ignoring the changes in the family.

One day, in class, the head teacher came to call him in person.

Grandma suddenly fell down on the way home from buying vegetables, was found by neighbors, and was sent to the hospital.

Qi Lele took more than half a month's leave and almost never left the hospital.

There are no other relatives in his family, only the teacher and some acquainted neighbors came to visit.Aunt Liu, who had watched him grow up, asked him to go home to rest. She would watch the night shift for him for a day or two. Qi Le sat stubbornly in front of his grandma's bed, his five fingers tightly clutching the white sheet, and the scarlet blood in his eyes chased him away. All the estranged greetings.

Qi Le is willing to pray to heaven every day, please, no.

He can't lose his grandma anymore.

Qi Lele has no concept of money, only knows that grandma is very frugal on weekdays, and the family relies on grandma's little pension for living.He rummaged through boxes and cabinets, and used all the money in the family to pay the medical bills that seemed to never be paid. No matter how the doctor hinted that grandma's situation was not very optimistic, he would not listen to a word.

He always maintained a cheerful and smirk in front of grandma, coaxing grandma to say that it was all right, it was just a minor illness, grandma was in good health, and would be discharged from the hospital soon.

One day, grandma suddenly asked, why didn't you see Xiao Shen?

Qi Yue was stunned.

After a long while, Qi Yue grinned, he has been here, grandma, you are asleep.The college entrance examination is coming soon, and everyone is busy reviewing...

Grandma stopped asking.She looked at Qi Lele, her eyes were cloudy, and she covered the back of Qi Lele's white and thin hands like old bark, "Ye Le, if grandma... grandma is gone, what will you do?"

Qi Yue still had a smile on his face, tears streaming down his face.

Qi Lele rushed out of the ward carrying the hot water bottle as a temporary amulet.

Holding the hot water bottle, he sat alone on the cold steps, covering his face, pressing his throat, and tears pouring down his cheeks.

He couldn't take it anymore.

How to do.

He was about to give up.

Qin Huomu, can you come and coax me.Tell me everything will be fine.It will all pass.

Just say a word to me.

Grandma couldn't get out of the hospital again.

Teachers and neighbors helped with the funeral and what was left of Grandma's estate.The class teacher came to enlighten Qi Yue every day, telling him not to give up the college entrance examination.

Qi Lele took the college entrance examination, and she failed in the exam.

I took the undergraduate course, but it was only enough for three books.The tuition fee is too expensive, Qi Lexi can't afford it.

The little savings grandma had accumulated over the years were thrown into the hospital by Qi Lele.The family house was sold as early as when Qi Le was 12 years old in order to perform surgery on his grandfather. After his grandfather passed away, grandma and Qi Le have been renting the house.

The homeroom teacher discussed with Qi Lexi again and asked him to repeat the study for another year. If there is any financial difficulty, the teacher will find a way for him...

Qi Lele smiled lightly, shook his head, and stopped reading.

He is not a gifted physique.

What's more, he has no way to stay in that school any longer.

Not more than one day.

The teacher in charge couldn't go back to Qi Le, and later Qi Le simply returned the house. All the furniture and sundries in the house were packed and sent to the scavenger downstairs. He evaporated without a trace, and no one could find him.

punishment.

It was only when Qin Shen uttered this word nakedly that Qi Lele realized it clearly.

He is punishing Qin Shen.

He hates Qin Shen.

That night when he was crying out of breath on the steps of the hospital, his originally obscure and repressed hatred was connected from dots to lines, thick enough to suffocate him.

At that time, he thought that this thread would run through his life.It is impossible to forget in a lifetime.

Later, as time goes on, the busyness of the world of mortals wears away and dilutes the intense emotions little by little.

Just go and go.

Whoever is without it cannot live.

And it was a ridiculous misunderstanding.

Never get an answer, so what.

Just let it go.

Just let it go.

But this person reappeared in his life.

Like back then, fresh, full of vitality, flesh and blood.

Qin Shen walked towards him step by step.

Qi Lele wanted to back up and escape, but his body lost all strength at this moment.He squatted down slowly and slumped, clenched his fists tightly, and his fingertips pinched his palm sorely.

Qin Shen walked up to him and knelt down.

"Qi Le, you can punish me for as long as you want." Qin Shen's voice was very low, with a soft tone, but the quality of his voice was uniquely heavy, "One month is not enough, just two months. Two months is not enough, just half a year. Half a year If not enough, just one year. If one year is not enough, just two years. If two years is not enough, just five years. Five years is not enough..."

"For a lifetime."

Qi Yue buried his face lowly, Qin Shen could only see a small swirl protruding from the lush black hair on the top of his head.

The fat down jacket wrapped his thin body.Through the clothes and the air, Qin Shen could still feel the slight trembling of this body.

I've been looking for you over and over again, but I don't get a response.

Waiting day by day, knowing that there is no end.

Even knowing that it is meaningless, but I can't stop myself.

Very tormented, very desperate, very painful.

But I couldn't talk, and I couldn't call for help.

If Qi Yue wants Qin Shen to go through what he has experienced again, he is willing.

Bet the rest of his life.

So let him do it all over again.

"is it okay?"