return to peace

"how is he?"

The old imperial doctor stroked his gray beard, frowned and thought for a while, then said in a deep voice, "It's strange. This young man, although his old illness has not healed and he has a new injury, but he has a good foundation after all, and he has been fed again." Medicine, won’t you be in a coma until now?”

Looking at Ji Fan lying lifelessly on the bed, Chu Lingshang felt a sense of powerlessness gradually enveloped his heart: "It's been three days, and the pulse condition is getting weaker every day. I beg Mr. Zhang to think of a way."

"I will do my best to ask the national teacher to allow me to go back and read the medical books before making a decision."

"You Laozhang is old, go slowly." Chu Lingshang sent the imperial doctor out of the room, unable to see him off anymore.He sent Lin Feng to see the guests off, and he returned to the room, the door was closed, and the afternoon sun poured through the window paper to warm the floor.Chu Lingshang held Ji Fan's hand, the callus on the palm was still there, and the familiar temperature was still there.The surroundings are quiet, everything around is in a trance, and everything is whitewashing the peace. It's not that he doesn't know how much darkness is hidden under the sun, but he just doesn't want to pursue it. But now, the darkness has eaten away his true love. , he had to tear off this mask and face the cruel reality.

"Fortunately, you are real. Fortunately, you have always been real. I will save you, so you must hold on."

Whose exhortations and whispers, in this troubled world, compose the true feelings of the whole life.

The warm sun gradually turned into a blood-red setting sun, and the long-closed door finally opened. Standing in the afterglow of the setting sun, Lin Feng saw Chu Lingshang's pale face and his frail body standing straight, as if he had made up his mind .

"Prepare the car, I want to enter the palace."

Chu Lingshang has lived in this palace for more than ten years. Looking at the nine dragon jade steps, the golden roof and the red wall, he has never been so unfamiliar.Changed, many things actually changed.

"Your Majesty is in the main hall, the national teacher will go with the servants."

The Nuan Pavilion in the main hall is where he and Chu Zexi stayed the most, and it was where they dealt with government affairs day and night in the past two years.

"Your majesty is inside, the national teacher, please come in."

Before Chu Lingshang went in, he saw Wei Xi who was guarding the door.As soon as Wei Xi saw him, he lowered his eyes and called out in a low voice, "National teacher".Chen Lingshang did not answer, but he lifted his foot into the hall, and the door behind him slowly closed.

It was dusk, and the hall was lit with ever-burning lamps. In the twilight of the room, he saw Chu Zexi and looked at him with a smile.For the first time in a long time, he felt that Chu Zexi's smile was genuine.

"Why is Ling Yan here?"

He was unwilling to make false claims with him, and said directly: "I brought Ji Fan back."

Chu Zexi's smile froze in an instant, and after a pause, he resumed his smiling expression: "I know. Take it back with you, and take it back. Speaking of which, General Ji and the widow are old acquaintances, and the widow knows his character." , arresting him is just a show."

"He has injuries all over his body, and he is still unconscious."

"Oh? What's the matter?"

Looking at his affectation, Chu Lingshang closed his eyes, exhausted, and said softly, "Zexi, stop pretending."

Hearing this, Chu Zexi's intentionally created warmth disappeared immediately, and he looked at Chen Lingshang expressionlessly, with stern eyes.

Chu Lingshang couldn't remember exactly when the bright young man who had been by his side had turned into this cold look. The previous reconciliation was all fake.

"What you did without telling me, you and I know very well. I only ask you one thing now, hand over the antidote."

"What are you talking about? I don't understand." The mask of warmth was torn off, and cruelty was hidden underneath.

"Although he was seriously injured, he won't be unconscious all the time. I also know medicine. Do you still want to lie to me?"

Chu Zexi looked at him deeply, his face was still as cold as ice. After a long time, he snorted and said, "Even if the widow poisoned him, so what? Do you want the widow to pay for his life?"

Chen Lingshang shook his head, his voice concealed infinite fatigue: "I don't want to pursue anything, I just ask you to give me the antidote."

"What if I don't give it?"

The young man in my memory, unknowingly, has grown into a king who turned his hands into clouds and covered his hands into rain. In his eyes, Chu Lingshang could not see a trace of innocence and warmth. What was hidden in those deep eyes? , he really couldn't understand it.

"If you don't give it, don't give it. Then let him take a step first. Anyway, I can't last long, and I will catch up when the time comes." He said softly, turned around and left.

"Ling Shang!" Chu Zexi shouted hastily.

Chu Lingshang paused, but did not look back.He obviously looks so gentle, but deep down he is so heartless.

"Why can't you like me?" It was almost a humble interrogation.

"I have liked you since I was a child, and I have treated you from the bottom of my heart, why can't you look at me?"

From a young child to a young king, they have been with each other for more than twenty years. It is impossible to say that they have no feelings.It is impossible for anyone to be so hard-hearted, but it is precisely because he has feelings for Chu Zexi that it is more difficult to forgive his deceit and cruelty.It's just that this kind of feeling is not what Chu Zexi wants.

After all, he turned around and saw Chu Zexi's body in pain.

"Ji Fan hurt you, why are you still willing to love him? Ever since I was a child, I have always had you in my eyes, why have you never accepted me?" You are only in your early twenties, but you are "loved" "One word, the body was injured completely.Even though he has the self-consciousness of being a king, he still can't help but choke up a bit when he speaks.

Seeing him like this, Chu Lingshang felt very uncomfortable, and said in a low voice: "Zexi, I told you before that you can't force feelings. There is no reason, love is love, and if you don't love, you just don't love. Do you think If you kill Ji Fan, will I fall in love with you? Impossible, if Ji Fan dies, even if I live, my heart will die."

"Stop it!" Chu Zexi waved his hand violently, and raised his head again. There was no more fragility, but only madness and fierceness. His eyes were red, but the corners of his mouth curled up fiercely: "Didn't you want to The antidote? Take it in exchange for you." He stared at Chen Lingshang closely, and the tension in his heart reached the extreme: "I will exchange your body, will you?"

Chu Lingshang was stunned, and looked at him in disbelief.But Chu Zexi didn't seem to be joking at all, his heart cooled down, and his eyes were full of sadness.

"Okay." The voice trembled.

A slender and pale hand grabbed the strap of the cloak, pulled it tremblingly, and the black cloak fell to the ground, silently in the dim yellow candlelight.

Chu Zexi stared at him, seeing that he took off his cloak, took off his belt, let go of his black hair, and took off his moon-white clothes layer by layer. When his last underwear was about to fall off, The tight string in Chu Zexi's heart snapped with a "bang".

"Enough!" He walked forward quickly, gently lifted the clothes that Chen Lingshang had just slipped off his shoulders, wrapped them up again, and murmured, "Enough." Tell him to himself.

One by one, he helped him redress.

"This is the antidote you've been thinking about, let's go." He stuffed a small bottle into his arms, turned around, and didn't look at him anymore.

There was silence behind him, and soon came the sound of light footsteps, one step, one step, away from him.Perhaps, from the moment he fell in love with him, they were drifting away.

The door opened and closed again.Chu Zexi had never felt so ashamed at this moment.When he looked at the sweetheart he regarded as a treasure, who would rather give up himself for another person, he realized that he had really been wishful thinking all along. At that moment, his heart really died.For more than ten or 20 years, I have been thinking about it in my heart, but after all, it is an empty payment.

He suddenly felt a little envious of his father, at least Si Ran still loved him, and he, seriously, was a loner.

It's time to wake up from the ridiculous dream of more than ten years.He sneered, laughed at his own lowliness, smiled, and rolled down his tears, at first he suppressed sobbing, but in the end he couldn't stop crying, he didn't care about the emperor's face.There is no man who does not flick his tears lightly, but he has not reached the point of sadness.

In the silent night, in the empty hall, in the candlelight of a room, he was like a young boy, crying uncontrollably.More than ten years of unrequited love, waking up from a dream, despair, disillusionment, unrequited love, heartbreak again and again, and finally died with bruises all over his body.

It hurts, it hurts so much.