whose high school is a youth pain movie

two

When the weather came and it was time to change into thick cotton clothes, Wang Feifei wentssip with me about Lin Qiaoran's new boyfriend, and some witnesses kept saying that they did meet them holding hands, kissing and watching fireworks in the downtown square.

We were very young at that time, and kissing was a disrespectful word that would make people blush.Her voice was quiet and low.

I said that was not kissing.Kissing is only with someone you like.I know Lin Qiaoran's friend, she said she agreed because she was bored, and she didn't really like her.She is often bored.

Wang Feifei said when did you protect her like this, you even know who she likes, and you have such a good relationship with her?

I froze for a moment, and said blankly: "Ah, it's okay. I just..."

I couldn't think of the right words.

Wang Feifei looked me up and down, took a cold breath, and straightened my face: "Help, you don't like Lin Qiaoran, do you?"

It's so hot, my mouth suddenly becomes dry and my eyes stare.I pushed her: "Don't talk nonsense."

I was dizzy at school all day. Lin Qiaoran and I went to eat beef ramen at noon. I secretly watched her snoring and delivered the noodles to her mouth. I felt wronged and wanted to ask her, are you really that boring?Aren't we very close?And what's going on in your head every day.

That night I had a dream, dreaming that I held Lin Qiaoran on the railing at the corner of the stairs, her arms and legs were around me, and the two of us were kissing.

I took the time to say: Your mouth really tastes like orange Fanta.

Her mouth was shining, and she lowered her head and bumped my chin with the top of her head: don't laugh at me.

I smiled and covered her mouth again, like licking a lollipop.I whispered: I dare not, I dare not.

When I woke up in the morning, I suspected that I was sick because my teeth were chattering, my heart was throbbing, and my eyes were sore.Anyway, nowhere is good, nowhere is uncomfortable, no one is pleasing to the eye.

Coincidentally, the perpetrator bounced up the stairs and greeted me: "Hi, monitor, good morning."

I hummed vaguely, turned around and wanted to run.

"By the way, monitor, can I still sign up for the art festival? Go ask the teacher. The teacher said he doesn't know, let me ask you."

"Huh?" I didn't dare to look up at her ruddy mouth, because I was prone to imagination.

"Art festival, sign up."

Lin Qiaoran raised her hand and shook it twice in front of my eyes. "What's the matter with you? Are you sick?"

"What do you want to report?"

"Dancing, I practiced with my classmates from the next class."

I didn't know she could dance, but with so many talents, it's only natural that she could dance.

"Hmm..." Unexpectedly, I hesitated.

"Reporting is possible, but..."

"But what."

"It's nothing, treat me to a meal, the school is closed."

"Thank you very much, monitor." She hugged me excitedly, and murmured something else in my ear, but I didn't hear a word.

I really want to slap myself on the face, why do I ask people to treat me to dinner for no reason—but I really want to get together with her, the kind of moment.

During a recess before school, Lin Qiaoran walked into the classroom and lay down on my desk, clasped her hands together, and said in a very pious tone, "Squad leader, I'm really sorry, I can't go due to urgent matters, I ask a friend to take you, eat whatever you want , don't be polite, I will reimburse you in the end."

There were crows flying over my head, but I waited respectfully until school was over.

Jiang Sitong and I looked at each other at the school gate, and finally I couldn't help but compromise: "Forget it, you don't need to invite me, it's all what I should do, you go home."

Jiang Sitong was very generous: "Isn't that good? I happened to say that you are her friend, so I specifically asked me to greet you."

What is it that you treat me like a guest, you and Lin Qiaoran are friends, so why not me?I'm not afraid to scare you. She and I are better friends. Have you ever been to her house, touched her dog, played with her bear, and seen her photos.I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and racked my brains on how to get rid of her. When I turned around, I saw Lin Qiaoran and a boy together.

Each of them was holding a super-sized lollipop, and she tilted her head and licked his, wrinkling her nose and eyes as I imagined.

It's already winter, and all the passers-by on the street are obediently wrapped up in thick clothes. Only Lin Qiaoran is wearing a purple woolen plaid skirt, standing swaggeringly under the sycamore tree that has lost all its leaves. Her two white and well-proportioned legs are exposed in the wind. It is pink and tender.

I forced myself to turn my head not to look at it, but found that Jiang Sitong beside him was looking frustrated and hurt.

No way, Lin Qiaoran.

My face was hot, and I raised my head in vain to make sure, and sure enough, I saw two equally frustrated and hurt faces clearly reflected on the glass door of the milk tea shop.It was Jiang Sitong and me.

At this moment, I found that things were starting to get out of hand.

When I was in elementary school, the teacher in charge of the department commented on me: Xue Miao, as the class monitor, condensed the class style very well and played an exemplary role.Work hard in study, respect teachers, be optimistic and positive in life, and unite with classmates.

I've been like that since I was a kid.Later, when I met Lin Qiaoran, she said that I was talkative, innocent, kind, and suitable for wearing a white sweater and jeans, but in fact it was the scariest.

At that time, I was sternly telling her to clean up the table quickly and not dawdle. The grade leader will come to check after a while.

She said: Xue Miao, you are really scary!

I stuffed the colorful clothes into her arms to perfunctory and treat you to sausage for a while, calm down.I thought to myself: As long as you can listen to me a little, I will not kill you.

At that time, I didn't seem to understand that that futile feeling was called jealousy, but since that day, I have indeed changed. I can't play and chat with Lin Qiaoran as innocently as before, and I can't see her getting close to others.I feel terrible about myself.

The art performance was held, and Lin Qiaoran's program not only successfully appeared on the stage, but also received a warm welcome among classmates and teachers.On the dark and cramped backstage floor, pins and costumes that had been taken off in a hurry were scattered everywhere.

I stand in the shadows.

One person was sitting on a wooden chair, and the other was squatting on the ground, holding hands and looking at the mirror.

Jiang Sitong said: "You danced well today, like a flower fairy."

One giggled, "Stop praising me, I'm even embarrassed."

"But when you go to college, we won't be able to meet each other. If you go back to China, you must remember to come to me first."

Lin Qiaoran let out a "hmm", lowered her head and said sullenly.

"However... I may not go abroad to study. My family has an accident and owes debts. My parents told me to study hard...to prepare for the college entrance examination."

Jiang Sitong froze for a moment, and touched her neck in the dark.

I saw their shadows stacked with their mouths in the distance.

Lin Qiaoran is really beautiful.

At the end of the study group, Lin Qiaoran turned to me as before and asked me, "Does the monitor want to go together?"

I packed my schoolbag by myself, without even looking at her, with a tone of gunpowder.

"What? Do you still want to invite me to your house?" Actually, I regretted it as soon as I said the truth.

Lin Qiaoran scratched her head in surprise, but there was no embarrassment on her face like a cartoon character. Instead, she said calmly, "Okay, monitor, but our house is not so big now, it has become very small."

I felt depressed in my chest, I threw my schoolbag on my back and left the classroom, leaving a sentence: "Forget it."

She didn't lie, I noticed that she changes clothes less frequently now, and no longer invites the front and back tables to drink when she is in a good mood, but she is still in high spirits.

In the days when she spent money like water before, I secretly rolled my eyes and felt that she was too expensive, but now, I hope that she will always be the carefree Lin Qiaoran who does her own thing.Don't be touched by this heartless and unjust world.

I pass empty classrooms.A girl asked: "Did you break up with Xue Miao? Didn't you two have a good relationship before? Why didn't you talk?"

"Ah? Is there? The squad leader is usually very busy. We didn't quarrel."

"But she looks like she hates you, she always fights against you, and she said that kind of thing last time..."

"No, I was wrong about that matter. Isn't the squad leader treating everyone like that?" Lin Qiaoran happily hummed a song and splashed water on the ground.

I was silent in my heart, it was so ridiculous, Lin Qiaoran neither knew that I hated her, nor knew that I liked her.

From that day on, I no longer walked with her, and I no longer talked to her except for studying.After changing seats, Lin Qiaoran and I were far away, and I often couldn't see her among the piles of heads and books.

Sometimes Lin Qiaoran invites me to hang out, but I refuse.She's just confused, but not hurt, and soon finds new playmates, doing the same things as me but differently.

I finally discovered that she was always such a person, always enthusiastic, always willing to try new things, and never leaving a fixed position for one person.Just like a calm and gentle river, there are no turbulence and reefs, and it will not drown you, but it will always move forward and never turn back.

The good news is that she is really starting to work hard.

Lin Qiaoran still has a lot of friends, and they always walk together laughing and laughing. Sometimes I can meet her in the cafeteria, in the canteen, in the office and in the small shop in front of the school. I usually pretend not to see her. Sometimes she He even took the initiative to say hello to me, but he didn't call me monitor anymore.

After the last exam, the class teacher asked everyone to submit their ID photos.

Panting, she called me from the stairs, asking where I should pay if I was late.

I said, "Forget it, it's too late, let me hand it over for you."

Lin Qiaoran jumped up from the stairs, looked at me gratefully, and held my hand: "Thank you very much, monitor, you are such a good person."

I quickly pulled my hand away.

She really looked a little embarrassed, and apologized embarrassingly: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it."

I raised my head and looked into her eyes seriously: "Is this the only thing I'm sorry about?"

I know I'm being vexatious.After returning home, I wrote in my diary: No matter how much I like someone, there will always be a day when my enthusiasm cools down!

The more I thought about it, the more irritable I became, and I drew several lines under the words "enthusiasm cooling" so heavily that the paper was torn.

My sanity tells me please stop here please.Isn't it just liking someone, who hasn't liked someone when they were young, don't interpret my high school years as a youth pain movie, and move towards a goal that won't look back.

But my hands won't work.

I sent a message to Lin Qiaoran, using the newly bought account in the mobile lobby.

At the beginning, I only dared to forward some specious spam blessing text messages, and then gradually wrote a little bit of my own words behind.I don't know if she saw it, I haven't spoken to her for a long time, maybe she has already changed her number.

The night before the college entrance examination, I was packing the transparent file bag, and the phone on the table vibrated, indicating that there was new news.

"Dear classmate, although I don't know who you are, chatting with you really gave me a lot of courage and confidence. I hope you can also perform well, get satisfactory results in the exam, and go to the university of your dreams! Come on!"

After taking a few deep breaths, I turned my head and saw the big and round moon in the early morning sky outside the writing desk. From a long, long distance away, the clear and beautiful moonlight also revealed a subtle and wonderful color.I turned off the light and pressed the phone to my heart, where it was also pounding.

But it's so strange, why my heart is so happy, but my eyes are so sore that I want to shed tears.

On the day we returned to school, I found Lin Qiaoran, who had dyed brown hair, in the crowd, and yelled at her: What university do you want to apply for?

Her back was stunned for a few seconds, and then she turned around and smiled at me, showing a row of white and neat teeth: I don't know, monitor, I haven't figured it out yet.

During the summer vacation, my parents and I traveled abroad. It was my first time to go abroad, and it was also my first time to fly.When the plane roared into the sky, a girl flashed in my mind, she walked past me with a tinkle of bells, her hair was green, and she exuded an unknown fragrance.After a while, she grabbed my hand, raised her head high, pointed to the wooden picture frame on the lavender wall, and introduced to me that it was a photo of her playing abroad in kindergarten.

The dreamy lavender walls gradually spread out, and as far as I could see was the vast blue sky.

In the past, the clouds and the moon looked far away above my head, but now they are very close, very close.

I realized that my high school life should look perfect to others, but why not to me?It's just that there are some small regrets, for example, I think it should be me who kissed Lin Qiaoran in front of the garbage platform, and I should be the one who held her hand under the sky full of fireworks. It should be me who is talking to her about the unknown fate of the future in the corner.

There was a thread in front of my eyes, and my hunch told me that if I didn't hold on tight, the kite would fly away forever and ever.

After the trip, I immediately went to ask Li Xingang. Li Xingang was making full use of the summer vacation to practice dancing and lose weight, although everyone couldn't see where she was fat.

She was sweating profusely in the dance practice room, took a sip of water and said: I don't know, why are you looking for her.

I am busy.I can only play sloppy eyes vaguely.

"I didn't lie to you, I really don't know." Li Xingang shrugged in front of the mirror, and his tone was very straightforward: "She is that kind of person. She is very serious when she is interested in you, and she runs faster than anyone else." All fast."

My heart gradually cooled down.

"She won't owe you money."

I said no.

"That's good. There are several juniors in the first and second grades who are also looking for her. Do you still remember that Jiang Sitong last time? All the things you said to her were released...Anyway, if you want to find someone Don't look for her if you are playing, she is amazing, you will regret it."

After Li Xingang finished speaking, he smiled and bounced my shoulder, as if it wasn't her who kissed Lin Qiaoran at the trash table.

I wondered in confusion, are those gorgeous sweet candies and innocent sunny smiles really her, or is that expressionless face behind the lingering smoke really her?Perhaps her core is not caramel at all, and the colorful transparency is just used to wrap the real candy wrapper.In addition, if she has not taken the initiative to come to me, does it mean that Xue Miao is no longer the person she is interested in?

I want to find her quickly, and announce in front of her that Lin Qiaoran looked at your eyes before, everyone is so bad that you can turn around and join the enemy, but I am the only one who is steadfast and unyielding. This heart can be learned from the sun and the moon will never change. think about it.

I know she can be really bad.I suddenly sat at the gate and felt that the world was extremely desolate. On the one hand, I couldn’t find the villain Lin Qiaoran, and on the other hand, I thought that I had discovered her villain’s nature and still liked her very much. It was really hopeless.

When I was in college, I fell in love twice, both with boys.

Later, in the psychological counseling room, I read in the book that many people have doubts about their sexual orientation during their teenage years, which is quite normal.

There is a tall sycamore tree in the window of my dormitory. I often lie on the table and look at the leaves in a daze, and fall asleep after a while.

I dreamed of Lin Qiaoran, she was circling around in a short skirt under the big tree at the school gate, when she smiled at me, I woke up in time, my heart was pounding as if suddenly alive.The pages of the book were turned and rattled, and the clouds in the sky were moving.It seemed like it was over, but maybe it wasn't, who knows.

In my senior year, I was an intern in a company and was assigned to the front desk for shifts.The TV in the lobby continuously broadcasts local news 24 hours a day. All my colleagues who are interns with me have gone to lunch. The hall covered with marble floors is quiet and cool. I am bored drawing little people on paper. sleepy.

A person pushed the door and came in, shivering as if being blown by the cold air.

There are many shiny pendants on her satchel, as well as on her neck and hands. When she walks, she jingles and sways in the sun, shining a confident and dazzling light.

She stopped beside me, and I smelled a faint fragrance.

My mind suddenly went blank, like the snowflakes that filled the screen when the TV station stopped broadcasting when I was a child. There was a weird buzzing sound in the first second, but there was no picture, and it became hot in the second second.

However, in the end I couldn't say a word. At that moment, I realized that I was still the Xue Miao from before. When I faced Lin Qiaoran, I was chatty and innocent. It was suitable for wearing a white sweater and jeans. In fact, it was the scariest.

I wanted to tell her as much as I wanted to question her.Including why she disappeared, why my information disappeared.

"Ah, are you Xue Miao?"

I nodded and looked at her.She also looked at me, looked at me for a while, and danced with more certainty.

"Squad leader, do you remember me? I'm Lin Qiaoran. We are classmates in high school!" She was really excited.

How could I forget you.

It turns out that the teenage pain movie from my high school days is not over yet, which is an eye opener.If I acted with Lin Qiaoran, no matter how bad the script was, I would be happy with it.

My heart was bitter but at the same time full of unparalleled courage.I thought, how could I forget you, and this time I will definitely not let you go.