accidentally lost love

Although he had already been mentally prepared, when he heard Li Zicheng's refusal, Chen Haonan still felt that his already scarred heart had been stabbed heavily again.

On weekdays, Chen Haonan always likes to say that wine strengthens one's courage, and taking wine to strengthen one's courage is something that a coward would do. It is a sign of cowardice and incompetence.But now, when he thought that he, who thought he had already built his face into an impregnable wall, had to rely on drinking to strengthen his courage, Chen Haonan felt that he despised himself to the extreme in his heart.It is said that the IQ of a person in love is equal to zero. It turns out that even if it is only unrequited love and a person in a secret love, the IQ is also equal to zero.

Chen Haonan thought he was not a weak person, if he was asked to fight and slash people, he would not even blink his eyes.But when it comes to emotional matters, well, he admits that he is indeed a little bit nervous, a little bit guilty, and a little bit at a loss.

Chen Haonan summoned up so much courage to say "I love you" with great difficulty, but Li Zicheng actually thought he was joking.Although Chen Haonan knew that it was all because of his lack of seriousness in front of him, he was still a little hurt in his heart.

I always feel like a fool, for the sake of love, I have already lost my reason and myself.Chen Haonan really didn't know, if he didn't pretend to be a naughty ruffian on weekdays, how would he hide his intentions, how would he communicate with Li Zicheng as a friend.If it is possible, then his request is really not high, he only asks himself to be normal in front of Li Zicheng!

Although I can't help feeling bitter in my heart, I still have to say what I should say: "I'm not joking, I'm serious! Listen carefully, I—love—you—not the kind of liking between friends, but between men and women The kind of love between, I - Chen Haonan, love you - Li Zicheng! I love you, from the first time I saw you, I couldn't help falling in love with you! I know, I am a man, you Also a man, it may be strange for me to say this, but feelings are not something I can control! I know you are not gay, but I still love you! I have loved you for 11 years, the whole 11 years, with all my heart loving You……"

He didn't know whether it was right or wrong to speak out what was in his heart.Maybe, if I secretly hide this intention in my heart, the two of them might be more comfortable getting along with each other. Maybe, after speaking out, the two of them might not even have to be friends.However, what Chen Haonan knew in his heart was that he would not regret it if he said it.

Li Zicheng was full of apology and surprise, but his extremely firm and decisive words kept echoing in his ears: "I already have someone I like!"

Every time he thought of it, Chen Haonan's heart would twitch, it was really painful!At this time, he really wished that his heart was made of stone, so that even if he was injured, his heart would not feel pain.

Do you hate Li Zicheng?I'm afraid I can't hate him, and Chen Haonan never thought of using the word "hate" on Li Zicheng.Even though Li Zicheng was so decisive towards him and hurt him so much, Chen Haonan never thought of hating him.

Loving Li Zicheng is his own business, no one stipulates that if Chen Haonan loves him, he must love Chen Haonan!Li Zicheng just expressed his heart honestly!

Chen Haonan is such a person, he hates to bear grudges against others!It's too tiring to hate someone, if they really can't be friends, then he would rather choose to be strangers.If he really can't forget, then he will forcibly seal the memory in a corner of his heart.He believes that there is nothing in the world that time can't solve. After a long time, the feeling fades, and everything passes.

Chen Haonan's expression was gloomy, and Li Zicheng was obviously taken aback by his troubled and painful questioning: "Is it Li Chenbing?"

Li Zicheng thought that he usually covered it up very well, and he didn't tell anyone about it. He never thought that Chen Haonan would know.However, he didn't intend to deliberately conceal this matter, but hiding it in his heart can save a lot of unnecessary trouble.

Chen Haonan smiled wryly, how could he not know!Ever since he met Li Zicheng, Chen Haonan's life seemed to revolve around Li Zicheng. As soon as he recalled the past, in Chen Haonan's mind, besides Li Zicheng, there were still Li Zicheng, the cold Li Zicheng, the proud Li Zicheng, and the happy Li Zicheng. Cheng, the frowning Li Zicheng...

He clearly remembers that Li Zicheng likes black and blue, the blue is quiet and deep, and the black is mysterious and elegant; he knows that Li Zicheng likes to eat Li Chen's iced noodles because it tastes like home; he knows that Li Zicheng likes apples and Pineapple, don't like durian and mango...

Knowing that Li Zicheng likes to be clean, he always keeps a new pajamas in Chen Haonan's room, and always secretly prays that he can use it one day.How could it be possible for a person who cared so much for Li Zicheng not to know who he liked? !

In fact, Chen Haonan had been vaguely aware of it a long time ago.The way Li Zicheng looked at Li Chenbing was too abnormal, that kind of tenderness, that kind of pity, that kind of possessiveness, was not at all the look a son should have towards his mother.It's just that their relationship is so special that Chen Haonan has been unwilling to believe it.

But, reality is always cruel!Even if Chen Haonan wants to cover his eyes and lie to himself that it is already dark, reality will still forcibly separate your hands and let you see the bright and dazzling sun.

A year ago, Li Zicheng called Chen Haonan out because of Li Chenbing's relationship with others.When Chen Haonan, who was originally elated and full of imagination, flew out with joy, what he saw was Li Zicheng who was physically and mentally exhausted, his face was pale, he was in pain, and he was in a mess.

At that time, Chen Haonan's heart immediately twisted together, his heart ached!Unable to resist Li Zicheng's persistence, Chen Haonan had no choice but to accompany him to the bar for a drink.The two of them drank until very late, Li Zicheng kept pouring it into his belly, and when Chen Haonan carried him away, he was already so drunk that he passed out.

Chen Haonan took Li Zicheng home with complicated feelings. It was the first time for Chen Haonan, who was used to being taken care of by others since he was a child, to take care of someone so seriously.Although he was very tired, looking at Li Zicheng's face sleeping peacefully, Chen Haonan felt very happy and satisfied.

He couldn't help leaning on both sides of Li Zicheng and staring at him carefully: his already fair face was a little flushed because of drunkenness, but also slightly pale because of vomiting, it looked attractive and distressing.The long eyelashes flickered on the tightly closed eyes, and it seemed that he was still a little uncomfortable, and he didn't sleep well.There is no usual indifference and arrogance on his face, and he looks more handsome, good-looking and approachable.

Chen Haonan carefully stroked the contours of Li Zicheng's face, trying to smooth his frowning brows.His fingers moved slowly, and when they reached the rosy and sexy lips, Chen Haonan couldn't help but stop, then lowered his head in a strange way, and kissed her.

He clearly remembered that Li Zicheng's lips were soft, and there was a faint aroma of wine between his lips, and his breath was very fresh.Although his lips were tightly pressed, it was easy to pry them open.Chen Haonan pried open Li Zicheng's lips effortlessly. Li Zicheng's lips were a little cold, and Chen Haonan was very distressed.

At that time, Li Zicheng did not resist him, but stretched out his hand to hook Chen Haonan's neck, which shocked Chen Haonan very much and gave him great encouragement.Chen Haonan stuck his tongue into Li Zicheng's mouth and easily pried open his teeth.The lips and tongues of the two were entangled easily, and soon their mouths were full of saliva. It was unknown whether it was Chen Haonan's or Li Zicheng's.

Li Zicheng's breath was very warm, surrounding Chen Haonan, making him indulge in it.Even though it was difficult to breathe, Chen Haonan still stubbornly held Li Zicheng's soft tongue in his mouth and did not let go.Chen Haonan was reluctant to let him go, even if he drowned in it, Chen Haonan was still willing.

Chen Haonan didn't know how hard his heart was beating, he only knew that when they kissed, he was suffocated for a few seconds, so excited that he even forgot to breathe.

Chen Haonan kissed so devotedly and earnestly, just when they were both short of breath and burning with desire, a pot of cold water poured down unexpectedly, making Chen Haonan's heart feel cold.While kissing Chen Haonan passionately, Li Zicheng muttered to himself affectionately: "Chen Bing, Chen Bing, Chen Bing..."

The fact that you have been unwilling to believe for a long time is finally in front of you, and you can't help but believe it.

Seeing Li Zicheng's puzzled expression, Chen Haonan twitched the corners of his mouth bitterly.How can he answer, tell him that he secretly kissed him while he was drunk? !He didn't have that courage, and couldn't bear to destroy his image in Li Zicheng's mind anymore, so he could only say in general: "Because I love you! When you love someone, you will pay attention to his every move As soon as you move, you can't help but explore the secrets in his heart! You will remember his habits, his likes and dislikes, his strengths, and his strengths clearly. Are you satisfied with this answer?"

Although it is a bit perfunctory, it is also the truth and the truth.

Sure enough, Li Zicheng looked at the injured Chen Haonan with guilt on his face, and said helplessly, "Haonan, I'm sorry, we will always be good brothers!"

Good brother, originally such a beautiful word, but now it seems so harsh.Although the facts are already so, Chen Haonan still wants to know more clearly: "Is it because I am a man?"

Fortunately, Li Zicheng did not continue to say more hurtful words: "No, I don't have such a strong concept of men and women. What I love is Li Chenbing. Even if she is a man, I think I will still ignore her. All love her."

Chen Haonan did not give up: "But, she is your mother!"

Li Zicheng seemed a little excited: "But we are not related by blood! I love her as much as I love her. Regardless of age or seniority, I still love her!"

Chen Haonan seemed to be able to clearly hear the sound of his heart dripping with blood. He was so wounded that even the words he said seemed so dull and powerless: "However, your love will be very hard, and you won't even get it." Appreciation and blessings from everyone!"

Li Zicheng stared seriously into Chen Haonan's eyes, without the slightest dodge, without the slightest hesitation: "I don't care, what others think is other people's business, it has nothing to do with me, at worst we move to a place where no one knows us."

From Li Zicheng's firm eyes, Chen Haonan already knew the answer.In fact, Chen Haonan still hopes that Li Zicheng will love him, and that the person he falls in love with will also love him, this is a very lucky thing.However, this kind of luck is not something anyone can meet. The person he falls in love with doesn't love him, so he has to accept this fact.

Li Zicheng looked into his own eyes, and there was no love at all, the only thing there was the brotherhood of brotherhood that was sincere and shared.Chen Haonan wouldn't be so stupid as to lie to himself that it was there, but he didn't see it.

Only the weak will bury their heads in the sand, cover their eyes, plug their ears, and then fantasize about what they only want to admit and what they are willing to admit.