Every time I finish my soul, I have to wipe my saliva on a loyal dog

Chapter 32 The Perspective of an Unlucky Child

I don't know what other people's parents look like, I only know that my father and mother are the strangest parents in the world...

I have been very close to my housekeeper Uncle Afu since I was a child, because I spent more time with him than with my parents, and I heard that when I was very young, I was almost always hugged by the housekeeper Afu.

I remember asking when I was a little older why my parents didn't hug me more often.The housekeeper, Uncle Afu, told me with a sad face that my gentle but strong father was stimulated by watching my mother give birth in the delivery room, and he cried and passed out on the ground, so that his whole body became stiff when he held me Don't dare to use force.

As for my mother, when she was a child, I would cry whenever she hugged me, but later it became a habit, and she stopped hugging me.I don't want to find the answer to why my parents weren't close to me when I was a child. I think that's too silly.If I had to find an answer to everything while living with my parents, I think I would have died of exhaustion.Because my parents are the strangest and special existence in the world.

When I was sensible, I liked to sit alone and play with toys and gadgets quietly.At this time, when I inadvertently look back, I often find my mother who doesn't like to talk and is silent, hiding her body in the flowers not far away, staring at me.I was also scared and cried by her who didn't know how long she appeared around and looked at me ==

You must know that when I suddenly looked up, I saw a pair of eyes staring at me in the flowers not far away, which was very scary to me as a child.Moreover, Niangqin always has an aura that scares me as a child.Later, I thought it was probably "dangerous smell". Children are most sensitive to dangerous smell, so I didn't dare to get close to my mother since I was a child.

I think maybe my mother also wants to get close to me, but we don't know how to take the initiative, so we have always maintained such an awkward relationship.

What surprised me the most was that when I was with my father, my mother always liked to call me by my first name.When my mother called my name "Changqin" with her expressionless face, not only me, but even my father couldn't help but look at it every time. Once my mother called me Changqin, a father who bowed his head to settle accounts He actually responded.

The father responded that he felt something was wrong and stopped the pen in his hand. He sighed and looked at his mother. He didn't say what he wanted to say, and finally shook his head before lowering his head to settle the score.Every time my mother called me, she didn't say anything to me in the end, but waited for my father to look over helplessly and say "don't make trouble" == it's really strange.

Once when I was young, the housekeeper A Fu took me to see the lanterns, but because there were too many people, A Fu and I were separated by the flow of people, and I lost my way alone.Looking around were unfamiliar faces coming and going, I walked forward with some fear, and walked alone to the entrance of a small alley, and saw a large circle of men in black standing in the alley.I don't know what they're doing, but I heard one say, "This can't be seen, and this kid gets it together."

Hearing what the man said, I knew they wanted to kill me, so I immediately turned around and ran back the same way.I always remember my father said that crying and fear can't solve any problems, but at that time, I was so scared that I couldn't care about anything.Facing so many adults with dangling swords alone, I tried my best to keep calm but I was still scared and wanted to cry.Then I really cried out, calling my father and mother while crying. At that time, I felt that I was going to die, and I saw the light of the knife waving towards me.

I opened my eyes wide and looked at the man in black who couldn't see his face clearly and the knife in his hand, and I knelt down on the ground.However, at this moment, on the roof of the alley behind, a person stepped on the moon.From my point of view, the man really seemed to have stepped down from the moon.

I felt myself being embraced in an embrace. I didn't realize who it was, so I relaxed first because of this familiar breath.

"Trying to hurt my child? Very good, you can already imagine what hell looks like, and I will send you there soon."

Hearing this cold voice, I realized that it was my mother who was holding me. It turned out that my mother's embrace was so warm and reassuring.I won't die, my mother came to save me... As soon as I put my arms around my mother's neck, I began to cry loudly because of grievances, the first time I cried like that since I was born.

My mother touched my head helplessly. I cried for a long time and waited for my mother to comfort me. In the end, my mother said: "I didn't wear a handkerchief, don't cry." For some reason, I wanted to cry even more. "Then how about I take revenge for you and kill those who bully you?" Mother said again.

I thought of the large group of men in black around me, and I couldn't help worrying that my mother would not be able to beat them alone.Even though I just saw Niangqin flying down from the roof, I was still worried because I had never seen Niangqin beating someone before.But before I was worried for a while, the alley was full of people in black clothes who fell on the ground, and I didn’t know if they were dead or alive. Mother just hugged me and walked around in front of these people. See exactly what the mother has done.

I was dumbfounded and carried home by my mother, and I didn't react for a long time.It turned out that Niangqin was so powerful. It was the first time I felt that my Niangqin was not only strange but also very powerful.

That night, I slept with my parents for the first time.I was still a little scared and couldn't sleep, I kept looking at the curtain with my eyes open, and some reasons were because I was so old that I had never slept with my parents.Seeing me like this, my father gently touched my head, took out a piano that I had never seen before, and said he wanted to play it for me.

After seeing my mother, she said that she would play the piano, and my father agreed to sing for me.Listening to my mother's warm and comforting piano sound and my father's soothing, low-pitched and strange singing, I thought I would not be able to fall asleep, and I soon fell asleep, and all my fears disappeared miraculously.

It was a sweet night, and I vaguely remember that I had a good dream, in which I was very happy and got what I always wanted.It's just that I don't remember exactly what I dreamed of. When I woke up in the morning and looked in the mirror, I found myself laughing all the time.

Speaking of my dad, he is the best man I have ever met, the housekeeper Fu and many servants in the family said so.Daddy's business is doing very well, and he is dubbed "Smiling Handsome Hand" by those merchants, and it is said that he has never suffered a loss.Later, the butler, Ah Fu, said that I was worthy of being Daddy's child, and I had learned ten percent of his methods.

It's not just business, Dad can also paint. When I went to play in Dad's study, I dug out the paintings drawn by Dad.Some of them are mothers. The mothers in the painting are more beautiful than in reality, and they are very vivid. The ones who are in a daze frown slightly and smile quietly, and the ones who smile smirkingly and blush with guilt... I was dumbfounded when I saw it. Does my mother who has been expressionless all the year round actually have so many other expressions?

There are also some that I have with my parents, and Ah Fu is also there.Looking at one of the paintings of me and my parents, I stayed for a long time, because it was through this painting, through my father's eyes, that I discovered for the first time that the way my parents looked at me was like this... ... pampering...

Later that painting was secretly collected by me, and it was still well preserved until a long time later, and I would take it out to look at it from time to time.

Dad can not only paint, but also play the piano, the sound of the piano is very nice, and the dad playing the piano looks as distant and deserted as a lonely moon, but it emits silver light, illuminating the whole land.Even though my father still had a smile on his face at this time, I somehow felt that my father and mother were very similar.

I later learned the piano because of my father. Later, I also liked to play the piano from time to time like my father to pass the time. When I played the piano, no matter how many troubles and complicated things there were in my heart, I would calm down. This is how I learned the piano from my father. Tranquility learned from sound.

Dad is also good at medicine. I have rarely been sick since I was a child, and the only time I remember getting sick was healed soon.My mother said that it was the medicine that my father had written in the prescription and boiled it with my own hands before I drank it, so I will get better so quickly.After that, I never got sick again. On the day when I got sick, I ate the egg custard made by my father at noon. The taste made me fondle admiringly after many years...

Is there anything daddy can't do?Maybe it's like what the housekeeper Ah Fu said, daddy can't do anything but give birth.

By the way, Dad still loves Mom very much.The butler, Ah Fu, said that he had never seen his father doting on his wife so much. There was no other woman in the room except his wife, and he was usually very clean.Some people who wanted to curry favor with concubines when they saw his family business was getting bigger and jealous, all of them were defeated by their father with a smile and had to leave this place. The reason why father did this was because he didn't want mother It's annoying to see those people.

The big things about the house are decided by the father, and the small ones are handed over to the housekeeper A Fu and the servants. The mother doesn’t have to think about anything. If you like tea, you can drink tea and sleep if you love it. Read books and pick flowers. whatever.There is no need to establish a good relationship with other wives, and whenever the mother says she wants to go out, the father will immediately drop everything in his hands and take the mother out. Every month, a lot of money will go out without the mother asking Flowers buy things for mother, from clothes, jewelry, snacks, tea, rare toys... I don't feel bad at all, no matter how much I spend, I never see my father frowning.

When I was very young, I always felt that my father and mother were the closest people to each other, and they didn't like me as a child.

Because when I was eight years old, one day I was seriously drawing, and my mother suddenly called me. I waited for a long time and didn't hear my father's answer. I knew it was calling me this time, so I looked up at her.

Mother stood up and untied a wooden accessory tied around her neck, and handed it to me. I knew that this accessory was the most important thing for mother.This is an ugly waistband, but my mother wears it around her neck and doesn't take it out easily.I have seen that my father bought so many beautiful jewelry for my mother, each of which is more precious and beautiful than this piece of wooden accessories, but in my mother's heart, all of them can't add up to this piece of wooden accessories.I never thought that my mother would be willing to give me such an important thing, and I haven't recovered from it for a long time.

My dad on the side took it for me and hung it carefully around my neck, and put it in the skirt to cover it up. "This will keep you safe and don't take it off easily." Hearing what my father said, I could only nod blankly, feeling flattered in my heart.

Then father and mother went out, and they still haven't come back after dark.The housekeeper, Ah Fu, hugged me and said that my father had left me a letter, saying that he and my mother had left, and he didn't say where he was going or...won't come back.I didn't cry, and sat at the door for a long time, until the housekeeper Afu carried me to the bed and let me sleep well.Looking at the ink-and-wash curtain that my father drew for me above my head, I remembered the sound of my mother's piano and my father's singing that day.I suddenly realized that I probably loved my father and mother very much, but they left and didn't want me.I buried my head in the pillow and cried.

The next afternoon, my father and mother came back == Butler Afu was very shocked. After the shock, he didn’t dare to say anything and went to work with a gloomy face. I don’t know how I feel ==, no one said anything about that letter.I thought it was just a joke that my father and mother had nothing to do with me, but when I was nine years old, my father left another letter saying that he would leave and never see each other again, and asked me to take care of myself.

The butler A Fu hugged me again and his eyes were red for a while. This time I waited for three days but my parents did not come back. This time I probably really left.That night I ran to my parents' room and cried for a while hugging the pillow.Then the next day, when I was having lunch, my parents came back as if nothing happened.Ah Fu was shocked, and went to get the chopsticks with a dark face, and then our family began to eat...

When I was ten years old, my father left a letter and left with my mother.I wrote three full pages of the letter, and I wrote it over and over, and I could see how worried my father was. They didn't come back for a week, so I gave up.Did you really leave this time?That night the butler touched my head with red eyes and said he would always be with me. I cried for a while in the arms of the butler Afu and finally fell asleep.

When I woke up in the morning, my mother stood by my bed and asked me why I slept on her bed==Dad came in and said that if I want to sleep here, I can do whatever I want, as if nothing happened== Ah Fu is behind his father with a dark face==

11岁……12岁……13岁……14岁……15岁……每年都会留信说大概再也不会回来了，从此天涯两处各自珍重什么的。

When I was 16 years old, I asked my mother, "When will you leave this year?"

Mother said, "Leave tomorrow."

I nodded my understanding.Dad smiled and asked me how many pages of letters I wanted this time, and I said, "If Dad has time, go to various shops and look around, don't leave everything to me and be lazy."

Dad said he didn't hear what I said, and then smiled and brought me some food.I silently ate the food in the bowl and didn't say anything.When my parents left the next day, I was trying to settle the accounts, and the housekeeper, A Fulai, told me that they had left.I nodded and asked someone to take out the quilt in my parents' room to wash and dry it. When my father came back when I was 15 years old, he said that even the quilt smelled after they had been away for a month.

This time, I waited for a year, until my 17th birthday, and they didn't come back...

On the night of my birthday, the housekeeper, Ah Fu, wiped away my tears and made me a bowl of longevity noodles. I ate it and read all the letters that my father wrote to me every time my father left these years. I read them several times and kept them. This time I didn't cry.

Until... Decades later, when I was 80 years old and couldn't get up in bed, I asked my children and grandchildren to use the shops all over the place to deliver a message: the old man of Yan's Mansion in Tengcheng, Yan Changqin, is about to die.

What exactly I was waiting for maybe I didn't even know clearly, until someone came to report that two people came to me and claimed to be old friends. At that moment, my father and mother appeared in my heart, which was already somewhat blurred.It turned out that I was waiting for this.For many years, I have believed in my heart, believing one thing for no reason.

Those were two teenage girls, both of whom were beautiful.One with a gentle smile, the other with a cold face.They stood by my bed and saw that I didn't speak, and I suddenly burst into tears.

The girl with a gentle smile suddenly asked me: "Aren't you afraid of us?"

I lay on the bed, looked at them with cloudy eyes, trembling and whispered: "I... love you..."

She froze, smiled and took my hand.

I lay on the bed and took their hands one by one. The dry hands like branches and the tender hands were tightly held.Then I let go, and tremblingly took out a wooden accessory from my chest. It was still the same as before, but the red string had been worn white.

I made the girl with a cold face bow her head, and tried to tie her around her neck with trembling hands, but I couldn't tie the knot several times. I was too old to do even such a small thing.

The girl next to me with a gentle smile stepped forward to take what I was doing in silence, and tied the knot deftly.

I lay back on the bed gasping for breath, and it took me a while to catch my breath. The hoarse voice was like a broken wind lantern: "This is safe... you guys, be careful all the way..."

Be careful all the way, I didn't say this sentence many years ago, and I still have it in my heart when I get old.Looking at the curtain with ink and wash landscapes painted on the top of my head, I feel that I have no regrets in this life.

Parents who are about to travel far, be careful all the way.

I don't know what other people's parents are like, I only know that my father and mother are the strangest parents in the world...but no matter what, I love them.

The author has something to say: I cried at the end of writing QAQ

My tears are really low and low ==