little city

On Monday night, I wandered around the teaching building with my schoolbag on my back. I went into every classroom to take a look, hoping to see Jingshu. Then I came to the door of a lecture theater with many students inside, so I slipped in through the back door.

There was a teacher on the podium who was teaching a class. It was usually an elective class at night. The teacher had a bald head and round face, thick lips and big ears, and piercing eyes.

The teacher first took chalk on the blackboard, brushed it a few times, and then drew a Buddha statue, which stunned the students present, and the noisy teacher instantly quieted down.

This is a Chinese traditional culture class.The teacher said that Chinese traditional culture is actually a combination of Confucianism, Buddhism, and Taoism. These three basically permeate all areas of social life, food, clothing, housing, transportation, birth, old age, sickness and death, permeate in the blood of every Chinese.When we were young, we studied the classics of Confucianism and the works of Confucius and Mencius, which formed the basic ethical and moral norms of a Chinese; when we grow up, we make contributions in the society, pursue fame and fortune, and the Chinese begin to believe in Buddhism, seek children, seek Get promoted and get rich, keep safe and rich; when you get old, you start to believe in faith again, longing to become immortals and live a long life.Throughout the ages, this is probably the case.Therefore, Mr. Nan Huaijin said: "The highest state of life is that the Buddha is the heart, the Tao is the bone, and the Confucianism is the model, and the world is seen with generosity; the skills are in hand, the ability is in the heart, the thinking is in the brain, and life is calm."

I listened with great interest and felt that I benefited a lot.I am an engineering student. I do experiments in the laboratory every day to study various biological phenomena, and I also like to explore the essence of life.

After class, the students clustered around the teacher, discussing many doubts in life enthusiastically, and I found that Jing Shu was also quietly standing beside the professor.

I couldn't wait to run over to join in the fun, and stood opposite Jing Shu, listening attentively, pretending not to see her.It wasn't until the teacher left that we came together by coincidence.

"I didn't expect you to be interested in this class?" Jing Shu asked.

"I was inspired by you to find the meaning of spiritual existence."

"How? Did you find it?"

"Not yet, but this teacher has taught well, and he has indeed gained an understanding of traditional culture."

"You engineering students are too rational and too scientific. In fact, the problem of human nature cannot be explained clearly by science."

"But science has promoted the progress and development of human society." I still don't believe in superstition.

"The material wealth of society has developed, but the spiritual wealth of human beings is not necessarily stronger than that of ancient times. Human history is thousands of years, but the era of true masters is only two or three periods, but they guide the development of human thought."

"Science is always developing, and many unknown things will eventually be solved."

"But science can't solve people's mental suffering."

"Science is certainly not everything."

"So what science can't solve may have to be handed over to philosophy and religion."

"Could religion have too many superstitious elements, and even become an obstacle to the development of science in history?"

"Then what else can relieve the pain of the human spirit?"

"Love, isn't love the best antidote?" I remembered that after I met Jing Shu, my previous depression suddenly disappeared. This is the best example.

"Love is an antidote and a poison. When love is a poison, there is no cure."

Jingshu's voice is gentle and pleasant, her face is charming and charming, and her thoughts are independent and ethereal. My heart seems to be completely occupied by her.Like a demon, I searched for Jing Shu on campus every day. When eating, I longed to see her in the restaurant, when I was running, I longed to see her on the playground, and when I was in class, I longed to see her in the teaching building.If I didn't see her, I would search all over the campus, from the first floor to the fifth floor of the teaching building, every classroom, or I would go to the library and search from top to bottom.

I don't know why I am so persistent, but I think about Jingshu in my heart, and I miss her all the time. If I happen to meet her, I will be as ecstatic as if I won 500 million yuan.

Waiting until Friday afternoon, I finally saw Jing Shu in a self-study teacher. She was sitting in the first row, sitting on the seat, writing something seriously.I entered through the back door, sat quietly in the last row, and then pretended to read a book, but in fact, my eyes stayed on Jingshu's back.Jingshu's ponytail is slightly fluffy, and her left hand occasionally wipes her hair back, revealing her slender neck.Sometimes her body leans forward, sometimes she leans against the back of the chair, and she will look out of the window for a long time, where only the branches of the camphor tree are swaying slightly.Her every move caught my eye.

The afternoon passed quickly, and seeing the setting sun dissipate from the windows at the end of the classroom, the light had completely moved out of the classroom.There are fewer and fewer students in the classroom until Jingshu and I are left.My mood is tense and unstable. If I don't attack now, let alone when.I folded a paper airplane, and it said: "There is a beautiful woman in the front row, peerless and independent, with a smile that captivates the city, and then smiles to captivate the country, but I don't know that the Qingcheng and Qingguo will also be hungry, shall we eat together?"

The paper airplane flew towards the front of the classroom, staggered and hit the blackboard, then turned back and fell on the podium.

Jing Shu turned her head, smiled and said, "What are you doing? You're like a child."

I rubbed my head, stupidly at a loss.

Jing Shu readily agreed to go to dinner, she couldn't find a reason to refuse me, and she couldn't tell why.She told me that in this city, I was the first person she knew and also the person she was most familiar with.She went back to the dormitory and changed into a beautiful coat. Her slender legs were paired with black leather shoes, her ponytail was more erect, and she wore a butterfly-shaped hairpin.

I stared blankly, and said silently, "It's so beautiful."

The two took a taxi to the steakhouse in the city. After entering the door, they chose a seat by the window and ordered some self-service fruit salad, black pepper steak, pasta and some snacks.It was the first time for me to eat western food, and I bravely picked up the knife and fork, pretending to be very skilled.

The steak tasted good, but the pasta was terrible, I don't think it can compare with the hand-rolled pasta in my hometown.

"Is it fun to study biology?" Jing Shu asked.

"Is it fun? What aspects are you referring to?"

"You can often go outdoors, get in touch with nature, and get to know all kinds of plants and animals. It's fun to think about it."

"You are talking about "National Geographic". In fact, studying biology is also very boring. We mainly combine theory and experiments, and there is a lot of basic knowledge that needs to be memorized."

"At least it will be useful in the future. It can be regarded as a subject with relatively strong professional skills. Like us who study literature, it feels a bit cloudy and unreliable. Don't you also like literature? Why don't you study literature?"

"I don't know. Everyone said that boys should study science and engineering to find a job in the future, so I chose it."

"Then you didn't insist on your own ideas? I don't believe it? You don't seem like a person without your own opinion?"

"I didn't have any opinions before I went to college. Many things were done step by step. Everyone was carved out of a mold, and individual differences could not be seen."

"You are very assertive in what you just said."

"What's your opinion? Our exam-oriented education has not always been like this. In fact, our class was the first to start a trial of quality education. I remember that in the first year of high school, we were just like universities. In the morning, we took compulsory courses and in the afternoon, we took elective courses. At that time, elective courses included music, art, and physical education, which were also fun, and the exam only tested the simplest knowledge. You can’t escape the college entrance examination, so we stepped up the school again, and all kinds of question banks, question masters, question kings, and question sea tactics have come back. Therefore, it can be said that if the college entrance examination system is not reformed, quality education will always be empty talk.”

"Yes, that's how we came here. In the third year of senior high school, we take the exam every Monday, with a set of questions every day. People have become machines for doing the questions."

"Yeah, our leisure time at that time was to secretly borrow a martial arts novel outside the school, and a dormitory took turns to read it. Later, the head teacher found out and asked us to write a review and read it to the whole class at the class meeting. A classmate said Martial arts is not all dross, in fact, there are essences, but the result was scolded by the head teacher, the review was not deep, and we had to completely deny it. Later, after the college entrance examination was over, we went to the head teacher’s house as guests, and found that there were Jin Yong’s complete works on his bookshelf.”

"I also liked watching martial arts for a while. The world of martial arts is so fascinating. Everyone has a martial arts dream."

"But the martial arts dreams of boys and girls must be different, right?"

"What is it like to be a boy? Practice peerless martial arts, punish evil and promote good?"

"It's not entirely true. In addition to the heroic complex, boys may also want to find more beautiful women to accompany them, just like everyone envies Wei Xiaobao, but feels sorry for Xiao Feng."

"That's why it is said that a hero is saddened by the beauty pass, and he becomes a beauty in anger at the crown."

"What about the girl?"

"Girl? The girl of my dreams is an unrivaled hero. One day he will step on the clouds of seven colors to marry me." Jing Shu thought for a while and said with a smile.

"That's why Bo Xinglang, who has been infatuated since ancient times." Haha

We can't help but laugh

Then, I asked: "Do you like watching American movies? Have you found that martial arts and American blockbusters have some common characteristics?"

"I've seen some, are they all superheroes saving mankind?"

"Well, it's actually all about individual heroism. It shows that the human nature of Eastern and Western people is interlinked in this regard. So we like to watch American blockbusters, maybe one day foreigners will also like to watch our martial arts?"

"It seems that Chinese Kung Fu has always been popular abroad?"

"Kung fu is just a symbol. Harry Potter is so popular now, not only for movies, but also for books. Everyone talks about "Harry Potter" when they meet. This is the export of culture and the soft power of a country."

"Yes, yes, I really like "Harry Potter". Have you read the book?"

"I'm ashamed to say that I only read the first part, and I haven't read the rest." I couldn't help but feel sad. I used to steal time to read idle books every day when they were not allowed to read them in high school. Now I have a lot of time to read idle books. But I can't arouse my interest in reading.

"But I believe that one day in the future, China will definitely write this kind of literary works." I continued.

"Don't you also like writing? Would you like to try it?"

"You're overestimating me. I'm just a cynic. I can talk about it. Without that strength, I can't imagine."

"Then what type do you write?"

"I write casually, purely as a hobby. If I have to say it, I may prefer realistic subjects. In fact, my ideal is to be a biologist."

"I envy you. You have clear ideals and hobbies. I don't even know what I want to do in the future, and I dare not imagine the future?"

"I just like to set a goal, so that I can feel at ease in my heart, but when it comes to actual actions, I actually don't know what I am doing every day, and I don't know if what I have learned will help the future?"

"Is something better than nothing?"

"Then you have never had a goal? For example, when you were a child, you must have imagined what you would do in the future, right?"

Jing Shu was silent, her mood would always switch from happy to sad very quickly, as if her happiness was deliberately disguised.But, even with a deliberate disguise, she is struggling with her inner demons.In the memory of the past, such a time is very rare.

She thought for a while and said: "I remember when I was a child, I wanted to be a teacher like my mother, standing on the podium to teach and educate people. Later, when I was in junior high school, I witnessed a student cut down the teacher in a pool of blood with a knife in class. I was afraid of the profession of a teacher, and I was glad that my mother was only a primary school teacher. I also became interested in literature and kept writing a diary since junior high school, but now I am afraid of writing a diary. Torment of the mind. Therefore, I have not known what my ideal is for a long time, but if I really want to talk about hobbies, I like to be in a daze now, all day and all night, from day to night, from sunset to sun Going out and letting go of myself is my biggest hobby.

"daze?"

"Well, I'm in a daze alone."

I think of the scene when I first met Jing Shu on the train, and the scene of Jing Shu in the classroom. I seem to understand the state Jing Shu said, but it is difficult to understand that this state can become a hobby. , I'm full of doubts.

I can't help but fall into deep thought, because I always naively thought that people's hobbies are music, movies, and basketball.I had a classmate in high school whose hobby was to make money. At that age when everyone only knew about studying, I was surprised when I heard this answer.My classmate said that he didn't understand why there are poor people. Even if they go to the street to shine shoes, they can earn 100 yuan a day. They can open a cake shop and drive a car. It was very powerful at the end of the last century.Later, he dropped out of school and recently heard that he opened a restaurant in the city.

And now, I heard a new answer: in a daze.What shocked me the most was that I found that in the past time, I was so in a daze.

What is it like when a person is in a daze?It is nothing more than the state of a person.After I went to college, I realized more and more deeply the state of being in a daze, the state of being independent from the crowd as an individual.This state is loneliness.

We are born lonely, but in the process of growing up, we forget loneliness and live a healthy and happy life with the company of parents, teachers, and classmates. Until one day, you suddenly start to feel lonely because of one thing, and then endless loneliness.

"I understand." I said.

We looked at each other, two dazed souls, facing each other like this.

In this life, the greatest enemy of a person is always the self in the mirror. The self hidden in the body is an unpredictable monster. Sometimes it is as merciful as God, and sometimes it is as ferocious as a devil.

I spent the whole night in tension, and every time I was with Jing Shu, I felt carried away by Jing Shu's aura.Even if Jingshu didn't speak, just looked at me, I felt like a transparent person, and she would see through her at a glance.I want to show the appearance of a mature man, but I always look clumsy in front of Jing Shu. The positive side I want to show is often taken away by Jing Shu's pessimistic black hole.What's even more frightening is that Jing Shu on the opposite side is so beautiful, coupled with the red sofa and orange light, the whole scene looks warm and ambiguous. I am even more lost in this atmosphere.

When we came out of the steakhouse, we had to go to the opposite side of the road to take a taxi. The streets of the small town were very narrow. Suddenly, an electric car drove over quickly. Before I had time to think, I pulled Jingshu to my side. The car just brushed our bodies and passed by. The driver stopped, cursed a few words, and then ran away.

Neither of us spoke, let alone cursed back. We looked at each other, and we all understood each other's meaning, because of the common love and tolerance.

On the side of the road, the neon lights are flashing, the lights of the city relieve the loneliness of the night, the beauty of the day and the beauty accompany the beautiful woman, what a beautiful night, I thought, turned to look at Jingshu beside me, the ski slope on the bridge of the nose was more beautiful than when I looked at it from the front , it is steeper, this jump will definitely not reach the mouth, but it will fly farther, it seems that it is better not to be a skier.I think of the sucker fish I learned in biology class. If it is attached to this beautiful face, it will never leave the host.

I don't understand myself why I am deeply infatuated with it.

During the 30 seconds waiting for the traffic light, I once again confirmed my love for Jing Shu.The red light was flashing, and my heart was beating fast, the signal light turned yellow, and the green light turned on. I didn't know where to find the courage, grabbed Jing Shu's hand, and walked to the opposite side.I held Jingshu's hand firmly until I stopped a taxi.

Along the way, we didn't speak. Although the hands we held have been separated, I can clearly feel more tension than when we shook hands just now.In the small space of the taxi, the air froze, and we were all holding our breath, listening to each other's heartbeat quietly.

My arm was lifted up and rested on the back seat. At this moment, I wanted to hug Jingshu so tightly.My fingers tapped incessantly on the backseat, in time with the beating of my heart.I wanted to control my nervousness, but my fiery eyes and trembling body couldn't deceive my heart at all.I looked sideways at the face that I had just imagined being attached to like a sucker fish, only to realize that it was actually beautiful to watch quietly.