[Comprehensive] The Bankruptcy Routine of a Retired Savior

the person I like? !

Emiya took a look at her, and the guy was still innocent.

He almost couldn't figure out what was in this monster's head... No, it should be said that he never understood the whimsy in this wayward ghost's head.

"Why do you ask that?" Emiya asked.

Sawada sound is still confident: "Of course I care about Shirou!"

This reason is very nonsense, but Emiya can hear the sincerity in it.

And this kind of intention always makes him unable to resist.

"So what? So what if you don't?" Emiya, who shouldn't have answered, was silent for a while, but said, "It's all in the past anyway, so it's unnecessary to know about it."

Sawada Yin looked at him strangely, and said, "How could this be unnecessary? Isn't it important to like this kind of feeling? I've always hoped that Shirou would have someone he likes!"

There was a moment of silence in the air.

Emiya paused, and finally turned her head and stared at this guy: "What did you say?"

"I'm talking about someone I like!" Sawada Yin didn't notice it, and was still smiling, "I've been thinking, if Shirou can have someone he likes, that would be great!"

At this moment, Emiya looked a little uncontrollably weird.

"Really?" He said, looking at Sawada Yin as if looking at the biggest idiot in the universe, "Do you think so?"

Sawada sound was perplexed, but he didn't take it seriously, and said seriously, "That's right! Because Shirou is really worrying, but if in the end Shirou actually has someone he likes, then I can also relax a little bit. Take it easy."

"It makes people feel at ease", this kind of complaint has been heard many times when he was Shiro Emiya, but at this time he still doesn't quite understand: "Although I can roughly understand what you mean by not being at ease. What... But what does it have to do with whether I have someone I like?"

"It's very relevant!" Sawada Yin pointedly accused, "Because Shirou is an idiot who always pushes himself! It's really embarrassing! So if one day, Shirou can really like someone , then when the time comes, even if it is for the person he likes, Shirou will cherish himself more, right?!"

At this moment, the suffocating pain woke up from the bottom of his heart again, accompanied by the unwillingness and regret that he could never speak, constantly tumbling.

He met Sawada Yin's gaze, speechless, his expression was so complicated that it was impossible for Sawada Yin to tell what kind of thoughts he was having at this moment.

But demons are keen creatures, and they can always easily read people's emotions.

So Sawada Yin slowly revealed a look of surprise and confusion, and slowly approached him, as if comforting him, and gently pressed his hand on his cheek.

"Shirou..."

She spoke softly.

"do not be sad."

Emiya gritted her teeth.

……

As a guardian and cleaner who made a contract with Alaya to clean up the mess for human beings, all the wishes and desires of Emiya, the heroic spirit, should be completely abandoned by him along with his name when he died.

But he... did have a wish.

There were people I wanted to meet.

……

Many years ago, a man named Emiya Shiro had a ridiculous wish.

——Want to be a partner of justice, and want to save everyone who can be saved.

But this is not his real desire | wish, but something he borrowed from his adoptive father Emiya Kiritsugu to support his empty heart, even after Emiya Kiritsugu died, Such a wish has become the curse of his life.

Wanting to save more people, seeing others as more important than myself, clearly longing for happiness, but fearing the arrival of real happiness, clearly not even understanding what I really want, has already wasted my whole life In the matter of running around for the happiness of others... Such ideas and practices cannot be called mature, or even complete!

So in the end, after working hard to the limit with his human body, even the peace after death was sold by him in order for more people to survive, he finally ushered in death in betrayal, and was taken as a scapegoat by the people he saved Hanged.However, until the time of his death, he had no resentment, because his wish was to save others, and he died as the fulfillment of his wish.Moreover, if you have more power and can save more people after death, then the scene after death must be happy, right?

At that time Emiya Shirou thought naively.

What he does not understand, however, is that the desire to protect others is tantamount to the desire to injure them; that the desire to be happy for some is tantamount to the desire to be unhappy for others.

Therefore, because of such immature ideals, he became a guardian driven by Alaya, and his job was still "rescue". An executioner who kills innocent people early to prevent disasters.

He who clearly wants to save others has been bringing death to others, and he who has clearly wanted to make others happy has been bringing misfortune to others!

He descended into one hell after another, and after killing one person after another, he finally understood—the world that makes everyone happy does not exist at all.

And Emiya Shiro's ridiculously fragile ideal like a bubble will never be realized!

How ridiculous, such a thing, he didn't understand until after death.

But...it's irreversible.

He can't save anyone, and he can't be saved by anyone.

This is his fate.

The so-called righteous partner, the so-called ideal of saving others... Maybe it still exists in other "Emiya Shirou", but it definitely does not belong to Emiya, the heroic spirit who brought the slaughter for mankind.

Partner of justice?

Shirou Emiya's wish?

No, enough is enough.

For him, it was all over.

……

In the endless killings, he gradually forgot his name and his past, even the dream of becoming a "partner of justice" at the beginning, and the happiness he got after helping others. anger.

But... even if he is like this...

There are also people who want to meet.

Even though he had forgotten who he wanted to meet.

But... there was such a person.

……

Then, he finally saw her.

And once again understand the reason for her heart.

……

It's too much.

Let him, who has no future, see the person he once liked...love him like this without asking for anything in return.

……

"You..." He looked at her and sighed, "Are you still a child? What do you know about 'like'?"

He said so, and could only say so.

But the monster's answer is always unexpected.

"Who said I don't understand?!" Sawada Yin glared at him, "You underestimate me?! It's not like I haven't been in love before!"

Emiya stared at the idiot: "Really?"

It was exactly the same look at the fool.

Sawada sound became more and more inexplicable, but also a little guilty.

Calculating carefully, over the years, she has been engaged four times and almost got married four times, but three of them were due to the influence of vows, and the only one of them was love, but there was no good result. ... So is this "understanding" or "understanding"?

It's so enigmatic.

Do you understand love?

"Forget it..." Sawada Yin's eyes wandered for a moment, but he quickly cheered up, and said with his hands on his hips, "In short--I'm obviously asking Shirou, right?! Don't just change the subject!"

Emiya pushed the guy's face away slightly, "I refuse to answer."

It's a "decline to answer" rather than a direct answer of "no".

So the answer is already obvious.

Sawada Yin showed a look of astonishment: "What... what?! Is it really there?!" An inexplicable emotion bubbled up in his heart, but it disappeared soon.She breathed a sigh of relief, and laughed, "That's great! I'm really afraid that Shirou will be a fool who can only be brave for the rest of his life..."

"Oh." Emiya tilted her head, she had nothing to say to such a real idiot.

Sawada tone continued to murmur: "...But since Shirou has someone he likes watching, then Shirou probably won't be so brave in the days to come! Then I can rest assured!"

So where did the idea that "there is someone you like" in your stupid head equal to "will definitely be together" come from?

"Huh... that's not right!" Suddenly, the idiot Sawada Yin, who was constantly complaining about something in his heart, remembered something and looked at him strangely, "Those who can be summoned as servants have some kind of A Heroic Spirit of Wishes, right?"

Sawada sound was confused: "Shirou...do you still have unfulfilled wishes?"

Emiya was silent for a moment.

——Really... He is obviously an idiot who doesn't even know what he is thinking, but he is so terribly sensitive to what he is thinking.

Emiya sighed secretly, he should not have answered, but finally chose to answer.

"I exist as a heroic spirit who 'die after fulfilling my wish'."

He still didn't lie to her...but he still played a trick.

So Sawada sound became more and more confused, "Is that so..." But she still asked uneasy, "Is Shirou doing something you like now?"

The demon's voice was still soft, but the questions became more harsh and difficult to answer.

So Emiya didn't want to continue answering any more.

——Actually, he is not obliged to answer this question, is he?

Because the real relationship between him and this monster, apart from "old acquaintance", there is no cross line, so of course there is no need to answer her any cross line questions.

Yeah, why did he tell her what he thinks?Why should she care what he thinks?

Whether it is for her or for him, these things are unnecessary and meaningless.It's as if he didn't need to send her to Liudong Temple from the very beginning, and he didn't need to stand here and look after her after arriving at Liudong Temple; and she didn't need to show such inappropriate intimacy and kindness to him, no It is necessary to spend time reminiscing with him, and there is no need to care about a dead person.

Yes... all of this, all of this, was unnecessary!

——But in this world, there are many things that do not need to be "necessary".

Before the monster continued to approach, Emiya held the guy's head, her tone seemed helpless, but also resigned: "Do I have to answer?"

The demon tilted his head to look at him with a soft and innocent expression, without saying a word.

So Emiya knew the answer.

"If you want to know..." Emiya paused, "I'm doing the right thing."

This is the only answer Emiya can give her.

……

The heroic spirit Emiya, driven by Alaya, killed hundreds of people and saved tens of thousands, and killed tens of thousands and saved hundreds of millions.

Under the aggregate of human subconscious, he is doing the most correct thing for human beings.

But what is right is not necessarily what is right.

That's it.

……

Sawada Yin stared at him blankly, then suddenly laughed.

"I see." Sawada Yin said softly, "I understand."

What did this monster understand?

Emiya doesn't know.

Or maybe Sawada Yin himself didn't understand.

But for monsters, whether they understand or not is never the most important thing.What you want to do is the most important thing.

And she clearly knew what she wanted to do.

"Shirou... come on, make one last promise with me!"

Sawada Yin met his deliberately cold face without fear, approached with a smile, and looked up at him.

"Shirou, are you still wearing that necklace?"

When the heroic spirit Emiya was still named Emiya Shiro, there was a necklace that accompanied him all his life, and it was still hanging on his chest and hidden under his clothes after death.For this necklace, even if Sawada Yin didn't pull it out from under Emiya's clothes, he knew that it must be a rhombus-shaped card, with one side red and the other blue.

——What exactly is this necklace?

When she was young, Qi Yin, who had seen Emiya Shirou's necklace by chance, was curious about this question.

But it didn't matter, she never thought about it.

But now, Sawada sound has understood - about everything.

"So... at the end..."

In the beginning...

……

This is a final, initial agreement.

When the heroic spirit in red took the young demon's hand and brought her back to the human world, she began to firmly believe that if there is anyone in the world who deserves happiness, if there is someone in the world who must be rewarded... then that person , it must be this idiot in front of me.

This is a matter of course.

It was also a wish she had never forgotten.

So she won't let anyone stop the achievement of this matter... No, it should be said, she will definitely achieve this matter!

Because the future self had already told her the answer.