Anomalous ability is Doctor Mori

26

If Yang Xiaoqi was here, he would probably complain about such a guarantee on the spot, "Bah! I believe your evil!"

But it's a pity that there is only Alice Sen here who has never read the original work and only heard of popular science - and popular science, it is difficult to accurately convey a person's charm (black) power (mud).

So Alice believed it, and afterwards, she felt that it was worth it.In her opinion, although he was a bit more thoughtful, Osamu Dazai could indeed be regarded as a very obedient child.

"Is your bottom line too low?" Even Ogai Mori felt that it was unbelievable that Alice would describe Osamu Dazai as "very obedient".

But Alice really thought so.In her opinion, it doesn't matter what kind of personality a child has, as long as they don't make trouble for no reason and can listen to what they say, they are already very good.As for causing trouble to grown-ups - aren't children just creatures that make trouble to grown-ups?

Otherwise, what care do you need?

So in the first month when I came to the house, I neither yelled nor cried because there were no snacks or cartoons, and I didn’t fight with the original children at home. Most of the time Either she couldn't find anyone, or she was sitting quietly on the chair in her consulting room, looking at her with those penetrating kite eyes, and Dazai Osamu, who couldn't tell what he was thinking at all, to her , is really a "very good, very good" child.

Even if he was a picky eater, he would run out without saying hello and disappear in a blink of an eye, and he always liked to touch Alice casually to get Mori Ogai gone, Alice didn't find him troublesome at all.

It's not a big deal.Alice was also a picky eater when she was a child—she’s a picky eater now—and she didn’t stay home every day during the rebellious period. Although she didn’t play tricks on her mother, her history with gangsters was much more advanced than pranks.

Compared with myself, Osamu Dazai's minor ailments are not a big deal.

What's more, he even has a sense of proportion to minor problems.

Even if he is a very picky eater, as long as he cooks something he likes every now and then—such as crab meat or crab meat—he will still eat the vegetables and rice that Alice forcefully stuffed.Even though he often disappeared in a blink of an eye, and when he came back, he was either covered in dirt or water, and occasionally hurt himself, but he still returned home before dark every time.Even though he always likes to pretend to be careless and touch Mori Owai, but since Alice almost fell down the stairs to avoid him when Mori Owai was out of the clinic, he didn't "do anything" in Mori Owai. That's what I did when I was doing business."

Alice felt that 11-year-old Osamu Dazai was far less scary and difficult than Yang Xiaoqi said, apart from the eyes that made adults feel uncomfortable.He is more like the "bad boy" in the rebellious period that Alice heard from the mouth of the goddess nurse. Because of his extreme lack of security, he constantly probes and tries the bottom line of others.Obviously it is something that can be answered directly by speaking out, but I have to go around the corner to prove or falsify it before I can feel at ease.

"Sounds a bit like a good girlfriend from a romance novel." Commenting on this, Mori Ogai stroked his bearded chin.

"Then what am I? Straight male president?" Alice rolled her eyes—speaking of Mori Ogai's appearance, it was a mystery to her. Why do you have dark circles under your eyes because of your strange ability? and mustache?

"Alice's words are probably a gentle and tolerant bamboo horse." I don't know if I really didn't hear the disgust in Alice's tone, but Mori Ogai climbed up the pole, "But since ancient times, bamboo horses can't compare with heaven, Alice~ you have to be careful!"

"Will Dazai stab me carefully?" Alice glanced at him disapprovingly.

However, the humanoid superhuman ability squinted his eyes at this, and smiled without emotion, "This is what I say from the bottom of my heart."

This sentence is 100% true.Alice looked at him a little strangely.She is not an idiot either, she can naturally hear the taste of "the scum and the scum can understand each other" in Mori Ogai's words - but the point is, "I didn't make him mess with him, even if he wants to scorn, he won't scorn me ah?"

With this child's temperament, at most he would just trick her and leave, never to see each other again.

She didn't remember that Yang Xiaoqi said that Osamu Dazai also had the attribute of "revenging kindness and revenge". Anyway, he is a positive character in "Wen Ye", okay?

***

However, not long after this sentence was finished, Alice was slapped in the face by herself—or it couldn't be regarded as a slap in the face, because Osamu Dazai didn't disdain her and didn't give her a knife.

In the fourth month at home, he gave himself a knife.

This is not the first time he has attempted suicide.After living at home for more than two months and getting used to the environment completely, Dazai began to feel strange.Although she is still obedient and clever on the surface, her actions are becoming more and more dangerous. "Just want to know if the air needle is real", "Accidentally mixed up the medicine and sugar", "Accidentally fell into the water", "Climbed a tree and fell", "Want to install a crane The dead ghost scares people, but the knot turns into a dead knot."These clumsy excuses can't even fool the three younger ones in the family.It's just because Alice was popularized by Yang Xiaoqi about his suicidal habit, and when she discovered and stopped it in time without causing serious consequences, she chose to endure it temporarily, and pretended to believe that there was no investigation every time.So no one said much.

But this time, it has exceeded the limit of being able to get away with it—and also beyond the limit of Alice's ability to pretend not to see it.

The bathtub was filled with hot water, and the vein on the left wrist was stabbed deeply. The most ruthless thing was that he swallowed sleeping pills before entering the water. If it weren't for Zhong, he found that he entered the bathroom without a change of clothes and knocked on the door for a long time without seeing anyone responding. It almost happened.

Fortunately, Alice was at home that day.Although Mori Ogai died when he met Osamu Dazai because of [Disqualification in the World], but at least he can still fight if he pays attention. It was sutured again, and it took almost two hours to stabilize Dazai's physical signs.And not long after she persuaded Chuuya to go out, Dazai woke up.

This child especially likes to die, but his vitality is extremely tenacious.

Alice hurried to the bedside: "Dazai?"

"Huh?" The boy's eyes were still a little confused, like jewels soaked in water vapor.That piece of iris-colored fog made people feel a little light and peaceful.But soon, after seeing clearly that it was Alice in front of him, he blinked, and the haze disappeared at that moment. The morning mist was wiped off the kite-colored gemstone, and it suddenly returned to its cold and thin clarity.

He pursed his pale lips, and bent the corners of his mouth innocently, "Sister~"

At first glance, it was the attitude of still intending to muddle things over.Alice looked at him and frowned.

Osamu Dazai's eyes widened a little, "Is my sister angry?"

"That's not it."

"Hey~~" the boy dragged out the tone, because of the tossing just now, his voice sounded weak and careless, "I committed suicide——at this time, shouldn't my sister scold me severely, or hug me?" Did you cry while I was scared to death?"

But completely different from his voice, his attitude was not so much provocation as anticipation, and there was a tiny, incomprehensible gleam in his iris-colored eyes.

— Has anyone ever done this before?

—— Or was my previous approach wrong?

After all, Alice did not have enough experience in raising children, and Alice deeply reflected on it.Then he frowned, thinking about how to speak.

Probably because she was silent for too long, the light smile on the face of the boy sitting on the bed gradually faded, the gleam in the iris-colored eyes went out little by little, and the thorough silence returned.

——It's been a long time since I saw this look.

Alice thought, and finally made a decision.

"Dazai, we need to have a good talk."

"What are you talking about?" Dazai Osamu's voice was clear and calm.

Not at all like a child.

Alice thought.But it doesn't matter, she is not a child anyway, and she is not very good at raising children.Those like Chuya or Ryunosuke are okay, facing Osamu Dazai, she really can't understand what he is thinking many times.

Therefore, at this moment, the most sincere way she can think of is to try to convey her thoughts to the other party, that's all.

"Talk about what happened today."

"So sister is really angry?"

"Hmm~mm~" Alice shook her head.

Being angry is really not angry, it's better to say, there's nothing to be angry about.

After all, she has been popularized by Yang Xiaoqi for "Dazai Osamu commits suicide every day".This is the same as buying a car. Isn’t there something wrong with scolding the car for fuel consumption after checking the information and buying it?

not to mention……

She thought for a while, put her hand on her chin, and considered her words.

"...Although it may not be good to say that as a doctor, I don't think it's wrong to want to die."

Dazai's eyes widened slightly.

However, Alice didn't look at him, the girl tilted her head slightly, her blue eyes passed him, and stopped on the snow-white wall.She frowned slightly, and stated her thoughts with an expression of thought and memory.

"People are born to die. This is a natural law, and it is something that everyone will realize and understand when they reach a certain age. Isn't it strange to say that what people fear is something that will inevitably happen? So , I have always felt that rather than saying that people fear death, it is better to say that what people fear is the absolute 'loss' brought about by death."

"For those who already have 'something', death leaves them empty-handed and alone in the wilderness of no return. For those who do not yet have 'something', but have a goal they want to pursue, death makes them Permanently lost the 'possibility' of success."

Alice said, turning her gaze back.Her eyes are like the clear sky, in the boundless azure blue, there is a light that is clear in reason, warm and almost compassionate.

"On the other hand, for people who have nothing to lose and nothing to pursue, death is probably not a big deal."

"And for those who are not only empty-handed, have no goal to pursue, but also suffer every day of their lives, or make others suffer because of themselves, or feel that the suffering is far greater than the happiness they have. , It’s normal to want to die.”

—like the ones she had seen.The terminally ill homeless man, the veteran suffering from PTSD, the child who has been abused for a long time, the lonely old man with terminal cancer, the severe depression patient who frequently committed suicide and was admitted to the hospital...

"It's a simple comparative relationship."

Alice said so.

Dazai looked at her calmly.There was no expression on the boy's face.The mandarin-colored eyes are like the surface of a frozen lake, and no emotion can be seen.

Until Alice said the next sentence.

"...I just, feel very distressed."

The boy froze.

"I don't know why you feel this way—feeling empty-handed, feeling that there is nothing worth pursuing in this world, feeling that it is painful to live in this world—these are things that only you know. People can't fully understand, I haven't experienced your experience, I don't have the power to see through your heart, and I don't understand the world in your eyes. So I can't understand all of the above. "

Alice has always felt that, except for a little more colorful life, everything else is going smoothly.Because of this, she couldn't understand the thoughts of misanthropists.

However, although I do not understand,

"...I feel very distressed."

No matter what the reason is, teenagers who are only at the beginning stage of life are so world-weary.It's all too heartbreaking.

Alice looked at the boy in front of her.

"I am a very ordinary person who has never thought of committing suicide. Even if possible, I hope to live as long as possible within the normal range. My goal in life is quite simple. Find a man who matches my aesthetics. My friend, it’s okay to fight and be sticky, as long as he loves me and trusts me and is willing to protect me. I like a lively atmosphere, so I will probably have a baby—well, 2 feels a little painful, or One. And speaking of unrealistic dreams, I hope to be rich, penetrate Leibo Street, and then raise all the orphans there.”

"If the former is realized, I feel that my life is very complete. If the latter is also realized, I will probably wake up laughing from my dreams."

"This is me, it's normal, right? There's nothing worth talking about at all."

She said, stepped forward, stretched out her hands, and hugged the boy tightly.

"So, I don't understand why you want to die. But even though I don't understand, I still feel sorry for you."

"...why?" Dazai asked softly.

"Because I like you."

Alice's hand was pressed between his soft hair, and the other hand slowly stroked his back.Where the young man couldn't see, her blue eyes were slightly curved, and the bottom of her eyes was soft.

"You're very cute—very cute. Whether you're being careful, acting like a baby, sometimes jumping up and down like a shrimp, or being so quiet that you don't talk. They're all cute. I think you're very cute." Be good, be good, I like you very much. I think you are a child who deserves a very good life."

She gently hugged the boy a little tighter.For some reason, I remembered the priest who used to work part-time in the choir.

"So I hope you are in good health. I hope that someone loves you sincerely, and you can fall in love with a very good person. I hope you have trustworthy friends and are trusted and relied on. I hope you are interested No matter what your career is, it doesn’t even matter whether you are successful or outstanding, but at least it’s something you’re happy with and won’t get bored of—of course, if you’re bored, just find another one.”

"I hope you have a good life. It doesn't matter if you have value, it doesn't matter if you are respected, it doesn't matter if you are accepted by society. I just hope that this is a life that you will feel that you have not spent it in vain. "

She said softly, her voice was a little hoarse, "Maybe this world seems particularly bad to you, maybe in your opinion, no one can understand your pain - this is a very painful thing in itself. But I always think that, You shouldn't have given up so early..."

Only 11 years old, by any means, too early.

"So if you can, persevere...persist a little longer, maybe something good will happen. Or, maybe tomorrow, next month, next year, there will be something you are interested in and want to pursue, something you think you can do People who become friends, or anything else that makes you feel that this world is worth staying for a while."

"...After all, in my opinion, it's rare to come to this world once. After all, it's not worthwhile to just leave empty-handed and unhappy."

——If you don’t love anyone and never enjoy being loved, you have nothing before you die, and no one remembers you after you die... Such a life would be too lonely.

Whether it's Yang Xiaoqi's science popularization or the "character" in the original book, they are nothing more than the existence in the book. No matter what kind of turmoil and violence, it is just a "plot" for readers.

But now in front of Alice is a living person.It was an 11-year-old child who she fished back from the river in winter, gained a little weight with great difficulty, and called her "sister" in a sweet tone.

"...You call me sister. Seeing you like that really hurts my heart."

At an angle that Alice couldn't see, the ice on the iris lake broke.

There was a strange light in Dazai Osamu's eyes.He stared straight ahead with his eyes as if he was looking at some beautiful and rare illusory thing - there was a full-length mirror there, and the mirror was clearly reflecting the figure of the girl hugging him, the two of them.

The boy had no expression on his face and deep eyes, but he said in a timid tone like a real child: "...then...if I persist...if I still can't control myself from wanting to die...will you come save me again, sister? "

"of course."

"...No matter how many times you do it?"

"As long as I'm here."

"Wouldn't it be annoying?"

"Of course not." Alice followed the boy's back, "How could it be annoying."

Even if it's a stranger, she can't help but die, let alone a child she picked up by herself!

Her tone was so determined that the boy's breath choked.The next moment, he suddenly hugged her back forcefully, as if trying to embed himself into her body, and buried his head in Alice's neck.

"you promise."

"I promise."

Osamu Dazai curled the corners of his mouth in the darkness.

"That's really... great."