no Guanyin

Returning to Lingang after three years, Zhuang Er never thought that he would stand on the platform of the high-speed railway station in a daze for so long.

In the compartment, I didn’t feel that the temperature around me was going to melt me ​​when I got out of the car.

The driver of the partner's car was waiting for them at the exit. The colleague next to her saw that Zhuang Er was in a daze and did not move, so she followed her gaze. There were a few scantily clad women in the crowded crowd. The leaflets are all gaudy, and the targets are all passing men. One can tell at a glance that they are dealing in flesh and blood.

There was a male colleague in the same company, who had a family and a room, so he took the opportunity to make a joke: "Fuck, no wonder Lingang is a man's paradise, are all ladies so punctual?"

"Xiaozhuang, isn't your home in Lingang? Is there a channel?" This is a single male colleague.

A group of them came to Hong Kong for a business trip, and the arrangement of two men and two women made it convenient for them to stay in a hotel.

Zhuang Er didn't look interested, she lowered her head to hide the thoughts in her eyes, and said perfunctorily: "Just don't go to Jinshuiwan, the young lady there is ugly and bad-tempered."

Everyone laughed: "How can you know so clearly as a woman, you will never go there, right?"

"I heard." Zhuang Er didn't say any more.Until she got in the car and went back to the hotel to rest, she acted like a stranger.

The summer in Lingang is still the same, the mobile phone pushes the high temperature warning for tomorrow, Zhuang Er crosses out the message, and lies on the bed to play games.It's the kind of plot-oriented game. She randomly clicked on a harem, and the beginning was to choose what kind of clothes to wear on the girl's day. The person she hadn't seen for a long time flashed in her mind, and she chose a very gorgeous costume.

The screen showed that she had been favored by the emperor for several days, but she was arrogant and hated by others, and she was involved in the prince's poisoning case.

Life is like this game, if you make different choices, you will go to different branches.

In the past three years, Zhuang Er sometimes thought, if she hadn't left Lingang and was still by Cui Xing's side, what would happen to them now?

The female colleague who lived with her came out of the shower and saw Zhuang Er staring at the air conditioner on the wall in a daze. She sat on the bedside and asked, "Xiao Zhuang, how old are you this year?"

Zhuang Er knew from the beginning that she was an old matchmaker, and she was not impatient, after all, she had encountered too many strange things since she worked.

"25." Zhuang Er replied.

She didn't calculate it by subtracting the years, but she just graduated from university in the year she separated from Cui Xing, and she left for another three years, 22 plus three is 25.

Zhuang Er: "Sister, go to bed early, you have to work tomorrow."

She turned over, and the four characters "I don't want to date" were clearly written on the back wrapped in the quilt. The female colleague was already numb to this younger sister who never participated in any social activities, and felt that the other party was either unmarried or It's just that there is a problem with her sexuality, otherwise she could stare at the lady for so long at the high-speed rail station?

On a five-day business trip, the first three days left early and returned late. Zhuang Er posted a night scene picture of good night in Moments. Her mother recognized that she was in Lingang and ordered her, an unfilial girl who hadn’t returned home for three years, to go back to eat. a potluck.

Fortunately, on the fourth day, I finally had half a day free. Zhuang Er thought that if he went to dinner, he might have to stay and chatter, so he might as well go at noon. Went to her mother's place.

Her mother gave birth to a son for her second-married husband, who was about to enter elementary school. The half-siblings, who had a huge age gap, were sitting in front of the TV after dinner, one was playing with a tablet and the other was playing with a mobile phone.

Nothing to talk about, nothing old to recount.

When her mother came out after washing the dishes, Zhuang Er got up with her bag in her hands: "Mom, I still have something to do at the company, so I'm leaving first."

She was still wearing the business attire she had in the morning, her hair fell down almost to her shoulders, and her leather shoes with heels were half a head taller than her mother when she stood up.

Zhuang You came here once when she graduated, but that time was not as obvious as this time. She has grown up and matured a lot.It was only at the moment that the mother realized that it was a pity that she had not been able to witness Zhuang Er's growth step by step.

But the choice has already been made, Zhuang Er is the one who was given up, even if she picks up the relationship halfway, she can't go back, not to mention there is another child whose life needs her participation.

"You are such a grown-up, why do you still like these kittens and puppies?"

Zhuang Er took a look at the Stitch pinned to her bag, it was very old, it had been washed many times, the color faded, and there were fringes, but she was not willing to throw it away.

Zhuang Er, who was outside the door, smiled at her mother who was standing inside the door: "There is only one doll in the world that my friend caught in the claw machine."

The friend is none other than Cui Xing.

What a wonderful time, Zhuang Er no longer feels hot when he defines Cui Xing as a friend.

It was obviously a long time ago, but it is not vague in retrospect.

Zhuang Er was sitting in the subway car, under her feet was a support advertisement bought by a fan of a certain star, the happy birthday was painted in powder blue, which was a bit dazzling, reminding her of the day they separated, which was also her birthday.

The 22nd birthday was celebrated in Cui Xing's rental house.

Cui Xing spent huge sums of money to buy a lot of decorations online. For this person who is too lazy to die and sometimes has to be fed by Zhuang Er, the romance can only go so far.The star lamp that goes through the bulb wire was arranged by Zhuang Er. When she got off the small stool and was installing the battery, the door was opened from the outside.

Cui Xing was stunned for a moment: "Why haven't you done it yet?"

She kicked a box at her left foot out of Zhuang Er's sight, not knowing what it was.

Zhuang Er: "Thank you for helping me celebrate my birthday. Can I wear so many star lights until tomorrow?"

"You're welcome, you're welcome." Cui Xingchu thought outside the door, "That's enough, why don't you close your eyes."

Zhuang Er: "What kind of monster do you want to be?"

Cui Xing: "What kind of monster can I be? How many big changes can I do to you?"

Zhuang Er was numb to Cui Xing's vulgar way of expression, rolled on the bed after installing the battery, and was ordered by Cui Xing to lie down instead, if she dared to open one eye, she would be finished.

The rustling sound rang in his ears, Zhuang You's heart was itchy, and he asked countless "are you okay" while waiting, Cui Xing would answer no, not yet, wait a little longer, and then it was "Shut up, don't think I won't kill you because you are the birthday star today"...

The cake on the coffee table was surrounded by heart-shaped roses. Cui Xing belonged to the type of person who would never look at product details when shopping online. Xingxing Lan bought a laser model, which made both of them almost blind.

Zhuang Er was moved and amused at the same time, hooked the cream on the top of the cake with his index finger and tasted it: "You made it?"

"That's right, enrolling in night school is not a waste of time. It's not as difficult as the Eastern side, and you don't need to knead the dough."

Cui Xing asked, "Is it delicious?"

Without waiting for Zhuang Er's answer, she held Zhuang Er's wrist and put the index finger into her mouth. While licking the uneaten butter, she stared into Zhuang Er's eyes: "It's okay, it's so sweet."

Zhuang Er's wrist was pinched by her, and it was obvious that Cui Xing seemed to have lost a lot of weight recently, and even the skinny fingers were very clear.

It was supposed to be a beautiful night, but unfortunately, Cui Xing's door was knocked open, and Sister Hong asked her to go out to do business.Cui Xing agreed, and began to change clothes after closing the door. Zhuang Er was eating cake, and suddenly it tasted like chewing wax, poking the cream and saying in a muffled voice, "Can't you not sell it?"

Even if it wasn't for jealousy and for the sake of Cui Xing's body, Zhuang Er didn't want her to sell it.The nightclub was too chaotic, Zhuang Er accompanied Cui Xing to several times, while waiting outside, there was a man as thin as a monkey who wanted to sell sex to her, but Cui Xing scolded him out.

Cui Xing has some connections in Jinshuiwan, but he also offended many people because of his bad temper, so Zhuang Er has always been uneasy.

The hand that put on the jeans paused, Cui Xing laughed wildly: "I'm a lady, selling is my job, okay?"

Zhuang Er: "You never thought about not doing this, and looking for another job, we..."

Cui Xing interrupted her words: "We are not the same way, Zhuang Er."

"Your father's toy factory will not be yours anymore. You will be a white-collar worker after graduation, or a part-time job at worst. The bags I want to buy, the clothes I want to wear, and the cosmetics I want to use, you Do you have that much money to buy me?"

She didn't wear socks, but she was wearing casual slippers, and the ankle bones exposed under the trousers were particularly prominent.Cui Xing chose a bag from the cabinet and put it on his shoulder: "Zhuang Er, I was used to suffering and poverty, and I don't want to live like that again."

"I didn't want to tell you today, but I don't want to hide it from you anymore. I have already been taken over by a guest. Today is my last birthday for you, so I prepared it so carefully. Let's not meet again in the future." .”

Three years have passed, the factory dormitory hasn't changed much, Zhuang Er doesn't know what he is doing here, Cui Xing probably doesn't live here anymore.She went up to the fifth floor, took off that Stitch, and hid it in her bag—she couldn't put it down, but she had to pretend she could put it down when facing the other party, so as not to lose completely from the past to the present .

Zhuang Er stood at the top of the stairs without the courage to go forward. For a long, long time, a door was opened. Zhuang Er turned around in a panic to leave, but was stopped by the person behind:

"Zhuang Er? Is that you?"

Sister Hong came out to throw out the trash, and was very surprised to see Zhuang Er. After exchanging a few words, Zhuang Er was about to leave.

"Are you here to find Cui Xing?"

Zhuang Er was about to go downstairs, and what was left for Sister Hong was an emotionless back, and she herself had already gritted her teeth sourly.The relationship between her and Cui Xing was clouded, and after it was wiped away, there was no clear distinction between love and hate. The inseparable love was mixed with the resentment of being hurt. After three years of escaping, when they came to Lingang, they still wanted to see her.

"No, I didn't come to look for her." Zhuang Er smiled with the corners of her mouth pulled, "She's already a mistress."

Sister Hong hesitated to speak, and finally revealed the truth when Zhuang Er was about to leave her sight: "Zhuang Er..."

"Cui wakes her up, she is already dead."

The reason why Lingang is named Lingang is because you can reach the opposite Honggang District after exiting the customs in Lingang, and the attitude towards same-sex couples there is very tolerant. Zhuang Er accidentally told Cui Xing that once.

But Zhuang Er never thought that they would embark on the road of marriage, so when he mentioned it casually, he thought Cui Xing didn't take it seriously.

"There were no guests looking for her at all that night. Cui Xing asked me to act in a play. I only found out later that she was drugged and addicted at Paradise Wharf. She quit many times behind your back, but it was the last The kind that is difficult to quit, you will be graduating from college at that time, you are a promising person, she doesn't want to drag you down at all, so she speaks cruel words to force you to leave.

"After you left Lingang, she was so skinny that she lost her shape. After she told me about her funeral, she committed suicide by sinking into the sea."

Sister Hong went back to her room and took a letter, and handed it to Zhuang Er: "Actually, she has nothing to say about the funeral, she seems to have guessed that you will come back, so I must give this to you."

In the middle of the night at the seaside of Lingang, Zhuang Er, who flew over, sat on the sand and opened the letter that had started to turn yellow.Cui Xing's level of education determined that this letter could not be long, and the writing could not be beautiful, but Zhuang Er started to cry when he saw the first word.

There are three lines on it——

"Lingang is not my home either."

"But it seems okay to die here."

"because of you."

That year when Zhuang Er picked Cui Xing back from night school, the answer she wanted but couldn't get when passing through the downtown area turned out to be not her auditory hallucination.

Cui Xing used her act of walking into the sea without hesitation to tell Zhuang Er that if she was a fish and swam to the opposite Bauhinia Harbor, would they be together forever.

Other people's lives are ups and downs, but for Cui Xing, it has always been a sinking... until one day, because of Zhuang Er, he smelled the air on the sea level.The boat under her feet is like a mirage. If one day it hits the rocks and sinks to the bottom, she will sleep forever in the sea with the wreckage of the boat, and she will be happy.

The wind at the seaside was strong, and there was a fishy smell, which made Zhuang Er stagger when she stood up, and the waves hit the shore with a low roar. Cui Xing once lost his name to Zhuang Er.

Er is you.

Near is near.

Cui Xing, are you ready?

I'm getting close to you.

Zhuang Er calmly walked towards the sea, leaving footprints on the sand.