Back when my wife was a teenager

As far back as Bei Huai could remember, she rarely saw her father.

Mom also always ignores her and doesn't like her approaching her.

The house is big, and she will always be a little lonely by herself.

Later, my father came back suddenly one day, and brought a very beautiful and weak aunt.

She ran to her father happily, and that was the first time that her always serious father smiled at her.

"Hey, call me Auntie Ye."

Before she could shout, she was dragged aside abruptly by her mother.

Mom is so strong, her arm hurts.

But she didn't dare to scream, so she could only endure it aggrievedly.

Because this was the first time she saw her mother making a fuss in front of her father, and her mother, who was usually so elegant and ladylike in front of her father, suddenly became hysterical.

Later, she only remembered that her father and aunt left together and never came back.

Since that day, my mother has been a different person.

He ignored her before, but now he puts all his attention on her.

Xiao Beihuai was a little happy at first.

But gradually, this extreme control made her breathless.

At first, her mother gently coaxed her to take a cold bath.

She was so cold that she couldn't bear it, and she kept shivering, crying and begging.

Mom just said softly and coldly: "Be good, be patient."

In the middle of the night, she really had a high fever. When she was half conscious, the first time she saw her mother was not to send her to the hospital, but to call her father and cry.

After hanging up the phone, the helpless expression on my mother's face disappeared instantly.

She whimpered.

But her mother patted her on the head, and even smiled a little: "You did a good job, your father will be here soon."

She didn't feel happy, just very wronged and uncomfortable.

It's a pity that Bei Rong will get bored if he does this trick a few times.

Therefore, after Bei Qi was born, Yun Manzhu switched to another model, and made strict demands on Xiao Beihuai everywhere.

As long as Xiao Beihuai didn't do well in one thing, he would beat and scold him.

But sometimes she becomes very gentle again, and when she sees the scars on Xiao Beihuai's body, she will cry bitterly and repent.

At that time, Xiao Beihuai was still very good. She thought that she was not good enough, so her mother would be angry.She worked desperately, she was studying when others were playing, and she was still studying while others were sleeping.

She is like a top, spinning endlessly, but she just longs for a smile from her mother.

Later she met Cen Jin, perhaps because of her familiar family background that made her pay special attention to this girl.

Under Cen Jin's enlightenment, she went home and tried to say to her mother: "When I grow up, I can protect you by myself, and I don't need a father anymore."

However, the result in exchange for these words was Yun Manzhu's furious scolding.

All kinds of merciless scolding, all kinds of sharp insults.

Beihuai Ren's mother whipped her with a long ruler without saying a word.

She even thought in a daze, is she really bad?

But when she saw the true tenderness in the eyes of her indifferent and mean mother facing Bei Rong, even the unrelated Bei Qi, she suddenly realized.

It turned out that her existence was the original sin.

In this deformed and twisted home, her existence is superfluous.

Yun Manzhu only loves Bei Rong, and Bei Rong only loves his Bai Yueguang and his son.

What about Beihuai?

No one loves Beihuai.

She was just a tool used by Yun Manzhu to curry favor with Bei Rong.Even her hard work, her excellence, was only because Yun Manzhu wanted Bei Rong to be happy.

As for Yun Manzhu, she actually didn't care at all.

At the moment of complete understanding, Bei Huai changed.

She became world-weary and naughty, she got tattoos on the scars on her arms, began to dress up indecently, skipped classes, fought and fought, and changed from a well-behaved top student to a bad girl who hated dogs.

No one can understand the pain and loneliness in her heart, she lacks a sense of security, she lacks love, she lacks everything, but she pretends to be invulnerable.

The girl's rebellious period is always aggressive, and she fights against her mother unscrupulously.Yun Manzhu asked her to please Bei Rong and make Bei Rong happy, but she wanted to do the opposite.

So Beirong hated this dishonorable and embarrassing daughter, and the mother would hate Beihuai more and more, beat her harder, and after the beating would hold her and cry, crying about her difficulties. With a soft heart, she would forgive her mother, but in the end, she just let her mother hold her, her face expressionless, her eyes like a pool of stagnant water, without any anger.

Beihuai has been suppressed by her mother for too long, so she also released it crazier and more unscrupulous outside. She used a flamboyant and arrogant style of behavior to cover up the desolation and desolation in her heart.

Later, she went to a university in city w, which was not a good school, but it was far away from Yun Manzhu and the Bei family.

In the new place, she tried to get out of the haze and plan for her future.

During his sophomore year, Bei Qi contacted her. This kid was a sophomore in high school, and when he was nervous about his studies, he begged her to take him to watch FA e-sports.

The e-sports competition is set in City W, and apart from Beihuai, Beiqi doesn't know anyone.The distance is far away, the place is unfamiliar, and it is something his parents think is unlearnable, so his family does not allow him to go.

He really had no choice but to beg Bei Huai.

The half-brother softly called her elder sister, Bei Huai felt a little soft-hearted, but on the way there was a sudden car accident, Bei Qi was killed on the spot, Bei Huai was seriously injured, and half of his life was saved.

It was raining heavily and the road was slippery in the dark.

There was a traffic jam on the road all the time, Bei Qi was afraid of missing out, so after listening to the words of a driver brother, he asked Bei Huai to detour around the path.

Unexpectedly, the mountain on one side of the path was washed away by the heavy rain, and the car was directly overwhelmed.

Beiqi's mother was abused by her ex-husband in the early years, and she was in poor health. When she heard the bad news, she died of a sudden myocardial infarction.

Beirong lost his wife and children, and hated Beihuai so much that he even wanted to kill her in the ward.

At that time, Beihuai had just been rescued from the ghost gate. He was lying on the hospital bed, and his whole body was extremely weak.

She was strangled by the manic man, almost out of will to survive, she groped the table beside her with her hands, and stabbed at the man no matter what she touched.

As soon as the hand on the neck was loosened, Bei Huai subconsciously pushed him away.

But never thought that the man's figure was unstable, and he fell straight backwards, hitting the back of his head on the corner of the iron table, unconscious.

Hearing the movement, Yun Manzhu broke in, saw the scene in front of her, and screamed.

It was also at this time that Beihuai realized that the thing he touched was a fruit knife, and the tip of the knife was still stained with blood.

Beirong was rushed to rescue.

Rescue failed.

Yun Manzhu cried bitterly, kicked and bit Bei Huai, and even called the police saying that Bei Huai killed Bei Rong on purpose.

There was no surveillance in the ward, the blood on the knife belonged to Bei Rong, the fingerprints on the handle of the knife and the fingerprints on Bei Rong's clothes were definitely Bei Huai's, Bei Huai had a certain motive for committing the crime, and Yun Manzhu, Bei Huai's biological mother, identified .

All the evidence shows that Beihuai is the murderer.

Beihuai didn't make any excuses, but just listened to the judge's final verdict with blank eyes.

She didn't hire a lawyer, and stood alone in the dock, as if she had been abandoned by the whole world.

Beiqi is dead, Aunt Ye is dead, and Bei Rong is also dead.

are dead.

She couldn't figure out why it was like this, and she didn't think about it anymore.

So be it.

After a while, Yun Manzhu regretted it again, and ran to the prison crying to see Bei Huai and reverse the case for her.

Bei Huai refused and didn't see her either.

What does it feel like to be ashamed, probably so.

***

As a psychological counseling intern, Jiang Wan followed her tutor and the first prisoner she saw in the prison was Beihuai.

According to the prison guards, this person's will to survive is very weak, and he has committed suicide several times in prison, and self-mutilation is commonplace.

This was the first time Jiang Wan saw Bei Huai.

One is a psychological counseling intern and the other is a prisoner.

She stood aside, silently watching the instructor ask patiently.

The woman lowered her eyelashes, her skin paler under the light.

She is beautiful, not in the traditional sense, but with a strong aggressive beauty.The thin face added a bit of sharpness to it.

She was indifferent to the tutor's questions.

Not the provocation of other prisoners, but a state of wanting nothing.

More hollow and numb than the walking dead.

During this counseling session, Jiang Wan didn't say a word to Bei Huai, but she deeply remembered this lifeless woman.

This is the first time she has had such a strong interest in a person after she bid farewell to her dancing career.

It's hard to describe the feeling.

She started to go in and out of prison frequently by writing a thesis, and slowly, she learned the story behind Beihuai.

It's ridiculous and sad.

In his interest in her, he felt a little more distressed.

As long as there is a chance, she will give Bei Huai psychological counseling.

Unlike her mentor, she didn't ask specific questions, but just shared her daily life and troubles.

At this time, Beihuai is a qualified listener.

Gradually, Jiang Wan got used to releasing her true self in front of Bei Huai.

Since her spinal injury, her temperament has changed drastically, but in order not to worry her parents and friends, she can only suppress herself, pretending to be the gentle and optimistic Jiang Wan before.

But in front of Beihuai, she didn't have to worry so much.

And Beihuai also went from not responding at the beginning to occasionally answering a few words later, and then when he saw Jiang Wan later, a faint light would rise in his eyes.

When she saw a dishonest prisoner teasing Jiang Wan, she even beat up the prisoner, even if she was reprimanded and punished by the prison guard, she would never admit her mistake.

Later, Jiang Wanhui brought many books to Bei Huai to read, trying to divert her attention and find something for her to do.

Unexpectedly, Beihuai is so talented in physics that he even pointed out an error in a professor's paper in the latest issue of Physics Magazine.Others might just laugh it off, and didn't take Beihuai's words to heart at all. Only Jiang Wan believed her, and even more so, she ran around just to prove that Beihuai's words were right.

The professor is not a self-proclaimed person, he admitted his mistake after repeated verification.

He even went to the prison to discuss some academic issues with Bei Huai in person, and then he had the opportunity to apply for Bei Huai to participate in scientific research with the prison.

After the release of the latest research results, Bei Huai was also able to reduce his sentence.

On the day Bei Huai was released from prison, only Cen Jin and Jiang Wan came.

Yun Manzhu seems to have disappeared, and Beihuai has never looked for her.

Under the professor's recommendation, Bei Huai worked as an assistant in a scientific research institute, but perhaps because she had been in prison, some people in the institute always squeezed her out intentionally or unintentionally.Her achievements are always signed by others.

Bei Huai didn't really care about these things, she did it only because she could feel alive only when she was doing the experiment.

Jiang Wan was worried about Beihuai's condition, and always went to see her on the grounds of psychological counseling.Jiang Wan is like a little sun, warm and cheerful, bright as a flower, all the praise words can not be added to her too much, they are like two extremes, Bei Huai is afraid of being burned by the light but desperately longs for the light.

The two get along more and more harmoniously.

During this period, Jiang Wan confessed his love no less than five times.

Without exception, they were all rejected by Bei Huai gently and tactfully.

Jiang Wan was not discouraged, nor did she give up.

Afraid that Beihuai would get sick alone, Jiang Wan forced her to sign up for a tour group, but unexpectedly there was an earthquake in the place where they went, and the two were buried in the rubble. But he kept holding her hand, encouraging her with a gentle voice, telling her not to sleep.

When the rescue team dug them out, Jiang Wan saw that Bei Huai's back was impaled by two steel bars, dripping with blood. He clearly couldn't hold on any longer, but he still insisted on talking to her, so as not to make her afraid .

Bei Huai lay in the hospital for several months. Jiang Wan ran in and out without missing a day. From that moment on, Jiang Wan had already decided that no matter how her parents objected, no matter how Bei Huai refused, she must follow Bei Huai. Together, no one can stop it.

Under Jiang Wan's insistence day after day, Bei Huai finally let go. There is no difference between marriage and pre-marriage. Jiang Wan is becoming more and more famous in the psychology industry, but no matter how good she is, she can't help her wife.

In fact, if it wasn't for her career and Jiang Wan, Beihuai would not be able to survive long ago, and now her career can't bring her vitality. Only Jiang Wan can make her have a little memory of the world, but her illness is still getting worse.

Severe depression, bipolar disorder, insomnia, headache, tinnitus, madness.

When she was ill, she didn't dare to let Jiang Wan see her, so she could only hide in the bathroom, biting the back of her hand.Jiang Wan stood guard outside the bathroom door, trying to suppress even the sound of crying.

She still came too late, and she couldn't save her lover.

Beihuai became thinner and thinner, she couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, every day of her life was a torment for her, Jiang Wan found out no less than five times just about self-harm.

Jiang Wan was helpless and terrified. She was a psychologist, but she couldn't save her lover. This was a torment she couldn't bear.

"If I hadn't met me, my evening would have been very happy." Bei Huai always said to her like this.

But only Jiang Wan knew that she would feel happy with Beihuai by her side.

Beihuai loves her, she knows it.

Her little Bei will gently tie her hair, carefully help her pack things, remember her menstrual period, boil brown sugar water for her, prepare surprises for her on her birthday, and take care of her meticulously. She will help her analyze the problems at work.

It's just that Beihuai's love is too silent, always silently giving, silently forbearing, silently dying, maybe it's the past experience that makes Beihuai not know how to love, but Jiang Wan is willing to teach her, she is willing.

But Beihuai is too tired, she is really too tired, she has worked very hard to live for Wanwan, but living is too tired, there is a knot in her heart, it is too deep, so deep that no one can untie it.

One day, Jiang Wan got the news that a new drug had been developed that could effectively relieve depression. She happily kissed Bei Huai several times, telling her to wait for her to come back obediently, and asking the nanny to watch over her.

Bei Huai watched her go out with a smile. She stood in front of the window, watching her Wan Wan step by step out of her sight.

Her smile slowly disappeared, the nanny watched her nervously, and all the controlled knives in the house were put away.Seeing Auntie's nervous look, Bei Huai couldn't help laughing, she won't commit suicide, Wan Wan asked her to wait for her, how could she have the heart to let Wan Wan not wait for her.

She said that she wanted to go down for a walk, and the nanny was both happy and worried. She should not be bored at home all the time like a depressed patient.

Bei Huai walked to the park of the community and sat down, watching a few children playing and playing not far away, she watched it very seriously, maybe it was the lack of this kind of happiness in childhood, which made her very envious.

Suddenly she noticed that a flowerpot fell from a family in a high-rise building in the community, and there was a little girl standing underneath, smiling ignorantly.

Without the slightest hesitation, Beihuai yelled "Get out of the way" and at the same time rushed forward to push the little girl away, but there was a distance between the two of them, and it was too late for her to go up, so she could only use her body to push the little girl away. Protect the girl.

The flower pot hit the back of her head so hard that she convulsed from the pain.

The nanny ran forward in horror, took out her mobile phone with trembling hands and dialed 120.

Beihuai fell to the ground, everything around her seemed to be getting farther and farther away from her, and the world in front of her eyes became blurred.

It hurts.

When will you come back Wanwan, I miss you.

She whispered softly in her mouth, and her consciousness gradually sank into darkness.

***

Beihuai's death was an accident. Although she committed suicide many times, they were all during the onset of illness. Jiang Wan asked her to wait for her to come back. She couldn't speak without counting.

Jiang Wan was still happy when he went, but when he came back, his face was pale, his eyes were full of helplessness and despair.

Only then did she realize that when people are extremely sad, they cannot cry.

The eye sockets were very dry and astringent, and the eyes were bloodshot, but not a single tear came out.

She didn't even know how she went to the hospital, how she dealt with the funeral, and how she got home.

She sat on the sofa numbly, as if she had lost her soul. After an unknown amount of time, she dragged herself to the refrigerator, opened the refrigerator, and took out a can of beer, but her eyes suddenly fixed on the body of the beer can.

There is a note on it.

——Hey, put it back, drink less wine

This was written by Beihuai, she always likes to make some small marks for her.

She put back the beer indifferently, turned to take a shower, went to look for pajamas, but couldn't find the one she wanted to wear.After searching over and over several times, she found nothing, and subconsciously called out, "Xiao Bei, where is the blue striped pajamas you bought for me?"

After shouting, she froze for a second, then continued to search.She searched around the bedroom several times but couldn't find it. Suddenly, she decided to go to the balcony. There was a storage basket next to it, and her pajamas were inside.

Auntie must have just collected them, and Xiao Bei hadn't had time to put them in the closet yet, and Xiao Bei always put these things himself.All of her clothes are taken care of by Xiaobei himself, if you can't find where they are, you can just ask Xiaobei.

She didn't cry when she heard Beihuai's death, she didn't cry when she saw Beihuai's body covered with a white cloth, she didn't cry when the family members of the rescued knelt down to thank her, and she didn't cry when she came back.

She is an adult and already handles her emotions well.

But at this moment, Jiang Wan grabbed the pajamas, squatted on the ground, and cried loudly.

She cried desperately.

Because she knows.

The person who would hug her, kiss her teary eyelashes tenderly, and tell her not to cry will never appear again.

Ever since Beihuai passed away, Jiang's father and Jiang's mother were very worried about Jiang Wan, afraid that she would do something stupid.

Even Guan Guan who was abroad made a special trip back to China.

Jiang Wan smiled and reassured them that she wasn't that fragile yet.

But only she knew that the black hole in her heart was expanding little by little until it swallowed her whole.

She didn't resist, or rather, she didn't even have the slightest thought of resisting.

Even dealing with her parents and friends exhausted the last bit of her strength.

So when the car accident happened, her first thought was not fear, but relief.

She thought, it would be great if she could go back to Xiaobei's youth.

I really want to see Xiaobei's eyes that were still shining at that time, she wants to save her.

I really want to.

The author has something to say: put the knife in the middle of the night

Jie Jie Jie Jie

It's too long, I'll fix it tomorrow.

感谢在2021-08-0123:44:31~2021-08-0223:07:01期间为我投出霸王票或灌溉营养液的小天使哦~

Thanks to the little angels who threw mines: blink Xiaowang, ALOHA1;

Thanks to the little angels of irrigation nutrient solution: 10 bottles of children's whimsy; 6 bottles of blink Xiaowang;

Thank you very much for your support, I will continue to work hard!