Xu Kaici's hair is green or not

——"I don't know...I don't know if you just feel uneasy and want me back, or if you really want me back..."

A gust of wind blew the half-person-high weeds rustling.Xu Kaici lowered his eyes, covered with crow-wing eyelashes.

When he spoke, his legs trembled slightly, and he didn't know whether it was because of sadness or nervousness.He had a nasal voice when he spoke, but his voice was so soft that it could be blown away by the wind.

Cheng Hang squatted in front of Xu Kaici in a daze, holding Xu Kaici's trembling legs in his arms until Xu Kaici regained his composure.

But Xu Kaici couldn't calm down, his legs were shaking like clockwork.Cheng Hang was afraid that Xu Kaici's foot would fall off the pedal and sprain his ankle, so he almost lay on Xu Kaici's lap.

His mind was so messed up that he couldn't figure it out, and the strings in his heart broke one after another, making a piercing sound.So much so that he didn't even notice that Xu Kaici had regained his composure, and he just quietly put his head on Xu Kaici's lap.

Cheng Hangyi didn't react until Xu Kaici raised his hand to cover Cheng Hangyi's face, gently rubbing the skin of his cheek.But Cheng Hangyi just blinked his eyes and didn't raise his head, let alone say anything.He had applied ointment around his eyes, and the wind blowing on his face made his eyes cool, and he had the urge to shed tears.

"Cheng Cheng, what are you thinking?" Xu Kaici moved his knuckles, trying to avoid Cheng Hangyi's wound, and wiped away the tears that just flowed from the corners of his eyes.

These hands were bony and bony, like dead branches in the cold winter, but at the moment they were light and gentle, making Cheng Hang's nose sore uncontrollably.

"I'm thinking, why do you say that? Can't you really see that I really like you?"

Cheng Hangyi couldn't tell himself, when did he start to like Xu Kaici so much.In TV dramas, in anime, no matter where it is, when one person falls in love with another person, when one's heart starts to flutter, there will always be a circle around the camera to record this memorable moment without exception.

The more romantic shoujo comics or the Hong Kong and Taiwan dramas I watched when I was a child will exaggerate the addition of bright sunshine or romantic flower petals.

But none of these appeared in Cheng Hangyi's life. In the five years they were together, from the beginning they were just trying to be together, but later they felt that it would be good for them to be together, and now they can't let go.There is no time node, and there is no moment of enlightenment.Everything was realized after the fact, so that Cheng Hang was so sad when he realized it, and now he felt that he had too little time with Xu Kaici, so he tried his best to bring Xu Kaici back.

Don't be afraid that good things will take a long time, but I'm afraid that if you really see each other, you will lose one side.

The wasteland was covered with gravel and gravel, Cheng Hang squatted until his legs became numb, so he simply sat down on the ground, holding Xu Kaici's with both hands, and resting his chin on Xu Kaici's lap.

The weeds submerge Cheng Hangyi, and the wind blowing from a distance takes away the crystals from the corners of his eyes, leaving only the silent eyes facing each other, and the love that he doesn't know where to start.

Through his hazy vision, Cheng Hangyi could see Xu Kaici's thin lips tightly pursed, and he probably didn't know how to respond to Cheng Hangyi's words.

Neither of them knew why the two people who were able to embrace each other tightly the last time they were here, and the two people who could still smile and tell each other that they liked each other, turned into what they are now?

Is it always easier to say love when you are young?

But it's only been a few years, and they are obviously still young.

Xu Kaici was probably tired, he turned his palm several times but couldn't lift it up, so he could only slowly rub against Cheng Hangyi with the back of his hand.

He smiled at Cheng Hang, returning to his old expression.

"Cheng Cheng, I love you, I always love you. I loved you very much when you didn't love me that much, or I couldn't figure out when I loved you so much. I I have been lying, saying that I just don't want to lose, that you are my last bargaining chip, and even I myself believe that this sentence is true. But there is one thing I didn't lie, the reason why I quarreled with Xu Chunye at the beginning was indeed It's because he saw me walking down the street hand in hand with you, he gave me a chance, saying that as long as we break up with you, he can forget about the previous things and I can go home."

Xu Kaici smiled slightly, "...you know the rest of the matter, but I didn't agree. At first I thought I was just being stubborn. Even when you came back to me, I always thought it was just an excuse for me not to bow my head. Hey...forget it, it doesn't seem to make much sense to say these things now, anyway, I'm not very capable of..."

Xu Kaici's hand fell from Cheng Hangyi's cheek, hit his leg soundlessly, and then flinched twice.Cheng Hang let go of Xu Kaici's hand, and then stretched out his hand towards Xu Kaici.

After the knuckles collided, they held each other tightly.

As Xu Kaici said, these are meaningless now, Cheng Hangyi no longer cares what Xu Kaici said in that quarrel, let alone why Xu Kaici let him stay with guilt in the first place.

Xu Kaici didn't want to talk about these things, and Cheng Hangyi didn't want to pursue them. Now for Cheng Hangyi, the more important thing is how to make Xu Kaici believe in him, how to make Xu Kaici change his mind.

On the branches not far away, there are young birds calling, and the weak voice keeps calling, calling for the family members who do not know when to return.

As soon as Cheng Hang wanted to say something, he didn't know where to start when the words came to his mouth, and he didn't know how to respond, to respond to the love that Xu Kaici hid and proclaimed in the shade of the scorching sun.

Perhaps Cheng Hangyi has always known these loves, but he has been deliberately ignoring them.Perhaps as Xu Kaici said, for such a long time, Cheng Hangyi felt that he had exhausted his benevolence and sacrificed enough, so he could enjoy it with peace of mind and ignore this love.

So much so that when I want to respond now, I no longer know how to speak.

Cheng Hang fluttered his nose, raised his hand and rubbed his face vigorously, squeezed out an ugly smile and said to Xu Kaici: "I'm lying too, remember the time I went to Beijing before we parted? Come back and ask me Why is my skin so dry? I said that Beijing’s climate is like this. It’s not true. I didn’t use the things you bought for me. Until I moved out of Shengshi Lanwan and moved out of the greenhouse you built for me, I was in Qing I only saw those things when I was unpacking during the trip."

That small bag was full of things that Cheng Hangyi might need, even a small ointment for mosquito bites was considered in it.

For such a long period of time, Cheng Hangyi took these things for granted, and even threw the bag at the hotel many times because there were too many luggages for the return trip.

The latter lived outside alone, and after packing too many times, Cheng Hangyi suddenly realized belatedly that in the past few years with Xu Kaici, it seemed that he never had to think about it every time he said he would leave. As for the luggage, as long as he wants to go, that suitcase can always contain everything he needs for travel.

Whether it is a quarrel and running away from home, or a business trip, this suitcase seems to be on standby at any time, and can accommodate Cheng Hangyi's every need.

The suitcase is not a living thing, and the only person who can do this behind the scenes is another male owner of this house.

Love is never a certain node, a certain moment.

It is three meals a day, the sunrise and moonset, and the long stream of water.

It was all the details that Cheng Hangyi deliberately didn't see while blindfolded.

"I know you love me and have always loved me, from the things you prepared for me to the planning you made for me when you went home. So, you who love me so much, really don't want to look back at me? That time Jumped into the hot spring pool and was rescued by me, didn’t you just promise me? You will live well, and you will try again. So it’s for me this time, and it won’t work if you give me another chance? Why would you Don't you know? Obviously you also know that I really hope you come back and I hope you are with me. "

Cheng Hang looked up at Xu Kaici, his eyes were full of expectation and apology.These words are more or less coquettish and shameless, so I bet that Xu Kaici will be soft-hearted and reluctant.

……

Probably a little loose, Xu Kaici tilted his head to one side, and didn't speak for a long time, only looking at the bird's nest on the tree, and then at this piece of wild grass that can't be seen at a glance.

When I first came here, the weeds were not that tall.At that time, he could still step over three steps with one leg, and he could let Cheng Hang jump into his arms on that unattended rooftop, and then he could easily hug Cheng Hang by himself.

He still remembered taking a lot of landscape photos with the camera that day, and after Cheng Hang came, the two of them also took a lot of silly selfies, all of which were the poses and expressions used by lovers without exception.

Xu Kaici turned his head after a long time, he didn't look at Cheng Hangyi, but just stared down at himself.

Looking at his pale, bloodless skin, the indwelling needle that was newly changed the day he sneaked out of the hospital was still buried on his exposed forearm, and the fresh blood in a short section of transparent rubber tube had turned dark red, especially on his pale skin. Eye-catching and scary.

All the way down the turquoise veins are the fingers that he can no longer open and use freely.They were originally slender and flexible, and there were more than one or two hundred pieces of music pouring out from these fingertips, and the applause they won with these hands was too numerous to count.

What I didn't want to say before was not only my liking for Cheng Hangyi, but also the fact that he still couldn't find the meaning of surviving.

People's life is not just about love.Preparing luggage and accommodating your partner can be done by anyone.If you are a bit shameless, the person next to your pillow can be changed frequently, but what about yourself?Do you live only for your partner in this life?If this is the case, it would be too boring and humble.

Cheng Hangyi's fingertips were still lightly touching Xu Kaici's hand. Xu Kaici became more and more sad as he looked at it. Obviously, as long as he could stretch his fingers, the two hands could be held together, but he couldn't move.

He shrugged his shoulders, slowly moved his arms back a little, and opened the distance between his hands.

"Cheng Cheng, if it's only for you, then the meaning of my life will only be you? I just said that I don't know, not only because of my suspicion of you, but also because of many reasons that you can't understand in this life. My feelings are too difficult to settle, so many times that I even feel that whether you love me or not is not the most important reason. You can do these things after you realize that another person can do it for you, but I have no There is a way to do more things.”

It was obviously a very soft and weak voice, but it exploded in Cheng Hangyi's mind like a thunderbolt.

Indeed, since Xu Kaici's accident, Cheng Hangyi has never taken Xu Kaici's thoughts into consideration. He has always only considered whether Xu Kaici is in good health, and whether his family will know if he is unwell.

Thinking about it carefully, Xu Kaici's several emotional breakdowns in the past few years are actually more due to his inability to accept himself, rather than these superficial love affairs.

Obviously these should be scruples and comfort, but they are ignored by Cheng Hangyi or everyone.

Obviously, Xu Kaici should also stand in front of the flowers and applause, instead of being trapped in a wheelchair and surrounded by Cheng Hang in panic all day long.

Thinking about it this way, I can suddenly understand why Xu Kaici would do everything possible to keep Cheng Hangyi, even if it is as he said, by means of moral kidnapping.

After his future was ruined and his family abandoned him, this little bit of love was his last piece of duckweed.

All the details were connected together, turning into a sharp whip, whipping Cheng Hangyi non-stop, causing Cheng Hangyi to breathe a few long breaths in pain.

He stood up, bent down and hugged Xu Kaici vigorously, "Your family didn't give up on you. It was Xu Chunye who asked me to see you for the last time. In the past few years, your mother has been paying attention to your health all the time. You You are not abandoned, but they don’t know how to get along with you. You are not meaningless. Sheng Guannan has won awards for every piece of music you composed. You are sitting in the dark, but your piece has already replaced you. You get all the credit you deserve."

Letting go of his embrace, Cheng Hang didn't straighten up, he bowed his head and kissed Xu Kaici.With the breath of green grass, with the warmth of summer and my heartfelt love and admiration.

In Cheng Hangyi's heart, even if Xu Kaici is weak and disabled now, he is still Cheng Hangyi's little fairy, and he has never been a meaningless person.

"And you are a unique existence to me."