as you meet

five years ago--

"Dis-moisequiclocheaufonddenosdingdong

Vois-tulapassion et la raison dingdong dingdong" (1)

The doorbell rang in the quiet afternoon with the fragrance of tulips. It not only interrupted the lingering spring rain's song, but also woke up the room, which was lazily lying on the bed with an open book in its arms. On the Pappy sofa, a person who is intoxicated in dreamland and sleeps sweetly.

The boy trembled when he heard the sound, and the book in his hand slid down to the mahogany floor with a "snap".When the book fell, the breeze that escaped from the window opened a few pages with great interest, but when she found that the pages were all a poem handwritten with a pen and accompanied by a large square of blank space, He immediately frowned and threw the book with a rusty gold cover to the ground in disgust.

The young man's bewilderment was completely dispelled by the groans from the book that was thrown to the floor. At this moment, he remembered that today is a special Wednesday in a week, so he quickly shook his body and stood up, kicking on the loose slippers Hastily ran to the door.

Although he was very excited, because his consciousness was still wandering just after waking up, his trembling hands were constantly slipping like a beginner who had just learned how to skate.Consciousness was also slowly awakened due to repeated bumps, and only then did I remember that I had not received a letter from my husband for three weeks.

The doorbell that I was most looking forward to ringing on Wednesday in the past has become as tiresome as the raindrops knocking on the window outside the window because of repeated disappointments.

The boy opened the door with his head down without hope, and the rich tulip fragrance came in quietly. When he opened the door, the spring breeze sneaked into the house mischievously, tugging at the dark green leaves of the ivy in the living room.The courier outside the door stood impatiently holding a big box. Seeing that the door was finally opened, he planned to hand the box to the boy immediately, but he was stunned when he saw the person in front of him.

The young man in front of him is about 21, with a faint sense of indifference and alienation between his lowered eyebrows and eyes, disheveled hair, surprisingly well-curved lips, baggy pajamas hanging on the thin skin The edge of the shoulders is like a life-saving straw that is caught when it falls from the mountain. The skin is as white as auspicious snow, like a plum branch that is fragile and easy to break but stubbornly cold and proud.

"Mr. Ji, your courier." He had never seen such a person before, and the person outside the door swallowed, unable to speak smoothly for a while.

Even though the courier didn't speak fluently, the weird feeling he felt when he received the courier before had disappeared this time, but the boy who just woke up didn't understand what had changed for a moment.

"Thank you." Thank you lightly, and after taking the box, the boy closed the door.

As soon as the door was closed, something strange appeared on the boy's face, like a shattered glass mask on the stage that accidentally fell to the floor.He held the box with his back against the door, his back tightly against the door and slowly slid down, finally sitting on the cold floor.

He lowered his head, raised his hand and caressed the addressee column on the box with infinite love. Sure enough, as usual, there was a colorless "moncheri" engraved by Mr. carefully engraved and belonging to their secret.He buried his head on the box and murmured to himself:

"Thought that Monsieur stopped writing to me."

Although I thought twice before sending the letter, I was still worried that my husband would misunderstand his intentions.It is obvious that the current self is like spring chasing winter, it is difficult to catch up with the husband's pace, but when I think that in the end, my husband may misunderstand that I don't have the same intentions, I feel at a loss.

The air was still for a while, and the young man pulled himself together again and raised his head, and saw the book lying on the ground at a glance.

It was a collection of poems excerpted by Mr. with a Montagut pen, and what he was holding in his hand were gifts and letters from him. The doorbell was a song that he could listen to with anticipation when he said he hadn’t received his letter.

When writing letters, my husband always likes to add a sentence at the end of the letter: I always think that you will like it too, so I thought of sending this thing with the letter, and I hope you will be happy.

Thinking of this, he suddenly understood what eliminated the strangeness that often occurred to him when receiving letters for no reason—it was the term "shengsheng".

I remember that when I wrote letters a few times ago, I accidentally mentioned the embarrassment of being called out by strangers, but my husband took a long time to reflect on his lack of consideration and let others take advantage of it.

One by one, the addressee this time was changed to Mr. Ji, and Mr. Ji seemed to be particularly hard when writing the character "Ji", making the character "Ji" particularly dark and conspicuous.

As if taking care of a thin-winged butterfly, the young man first slightly picked up the clean clothes and wiped his hands, and then carefully helped the box take off layers of clothes.

After the box took off its camouflage, a faint smell of rain and tide rushed over.When I wanted to write a letter, my husband was in a cafe, listening to the sound of raindrops, and the pen and ink fell into words on the paper.Because he always admired the beauty of the rainy night seen through the glass in his letters, he said more than once that he wanted to bring him to this feast.

The young man caressed the box gently like caring for a fragile new bud. Thinking of this, the corners of his mouth slightly raised, but it seemed to be fleeting, and then he sighed softly, but there was something in it. Still vaguely with a hint of joy.

"After much deliberation, at the end of the letter, I decided to risk the possibility of being considered incomprehensible by my husband, and I wanted to ask my husband to get rid of the habit of sending generous gifts with letters. I am ashamed of not being able to give something worthy of my husband. What's more As far as the mind is concerned, when talking about material things, it will become mundane. Mr.'s mind has already come with the letter."

Yiyi finally listened to his words.

This time, what came with the letter was not a world-renowned brand, such as the Kashmir sapphire that symbolizes the sea and sky, or the voluptuous gray amber perfume, but just a thin notebook with a pencil sketch on the cover. A branch of white plum, with several white flowers growing on the slender trunk, dotted with white snow."Zhi Sheng Sheng" is written in the lower left corner, and the font is magnificent.

Is Mr. finally going to publish another collection of poems?Ji Yusheng immediately took out another letter from the box.

At the beginning of the letter, I first apologized for the delay in sending the letter due to the busy business, and then I continued to greet politely as always, and I only politely explained the long-winded explanation in my reply letter, and I also apologized gracefully, saying that I hope I can still be a book friend in the future. identity contacts.

As for the gift that came with the letter, my husband only briefly mentioned a few words in the letter: it is a poetry collection that I just started to prepare, but I lost my inspiration due to the sudden change of the weather. If you don't take the initiative to knock on the door, it's better to give it to you.Also please keep it safe for me.

It turned out that it was not sent to Yu Shengsheng, but just kept by him. The inexplicable sense of anticipation in Ji Yusheng's heart was suddenly suppressed by the facts between the words.Thinking of the restless heart a few minutes ago because of the word Zhishengsheng, a layer of peach pink instantly climbed up the cheeks to the end of the eyes, like a half-ripe peach that is about to split.The letter I made up my mind to send before was exactly as I thought, and I would regret it occasionally when I thought about it.

At the end, Mr. added a French translation with unknown meaning:

The ivy outside the window is waiting for the spring, but spring doesn't know, so the ivy can only wait for the spring day that embraces the ivy with the mood of a pilgrim.

After reading the entire letter, apart from the last sentence in French that has no clear meaning, what is most concerning is the matter of Mr. losing inspiration.Thinking back, every time I mentioned in my letter that my inspiration faded away, it was because of something happened. Although my husband said in this letter that it was because of the climate change, Ji Yusheng would never believe it. Did you encounter any difficulties this time, sir?

Only at this time will he regret that when he made pen pals, he should not have mentioned that he must accept mutual concealment of identity. If it wasn't for this, it wouldn't lead to the current situation where he didn't even know the husband's last name.To Ji Yusheng, Mr. is like a portrait covered with milky white tulle and framed in a gold silk sculpture. It seems to be vaguely visible to his appearance, but he has no idea of ​​his identity.

The husband gave himself a lot of support in the letters, like the ivy in the hall, always slowly staining his room with a fresh and natural fishy smell when he was sickened by the smell of the world.But even though I tried my best, it seemed that I couldn't help my husband at all, just like a bird whose wings have been pulled out, trying to fly in the sky to add color to the blue sky but can't do anything.Every time my husband thanked him for his comfort in a letter, saying that he was the green Chloris (green) in my life, I felt like his good upbringing and etiquette that will never be lacking.

After opening the poetry collection, his fingers were burning hot for some reason. When he turned the first page of the poetry collection, the place his thumb touched seemed to be still steaming after he moved it away.The first poem in this collection of poems is only half written. Although I don’t understand the French poems very well, every time I try to look them up in the dictionary and try to understand them, I will sigh, people like Mr. really shouldn’t be buried in the In a small town, you should break the established rules of the world and become the belief in other people's lives.

I always feel that it would be a pity if it was Mr.

I always feel that if it is Mr., it will be done.

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The letter from the husband on Wednesday only allowed Ji Yusheng to rest in the harbor to read a letter carefully. Even if he took apart every word in the letter and read it carefully, the sudden ringing of the phone still made Ji Yusheng unglamorous. He dragged him out of the warm and peaceful harbor, fiercely cut a wound on the peaceful curtain with a silver knife, forcing him to face the reality.

"Hello? Yusheng?" As soon as the piercing voice reached his ears, Ji Yusheng's hands began to sweat unconsciously.Because this voice seems to be the origin of the bloody reality and the pain of the past four years.

"Well, mother." Ji Yusheng cleared his throat, trying to hide the tiredness of the past few weeks.

"I saw on your department's website that there will be an economics lecture strongly recommended by the professor tomorrow, remember to listen to it." Accompanied by the voice, there was the intermittent sound of cracking melon seeds.

Did not receive an echo from the other side, the other side of the phone continued to speak:

"I heard that a professor of economics from University X was invited to this lecture. I read about it online. That professor is amazing, and his annual salary is almost higher than that of the rich list..."

"Understood, I... will go." There was a slight tremor in the words, as if walking on a tightrope, and the phone would completely erase it, and the person on the other side of the microphone didn't care about it .The person on the other side was obviously displeased with his abrupt interruption.

"Okay, let's learn more, find the right opportunity to go up and talk, with the help of noble people, you can find a high-paying job after graduation. Don't let me down."

After hanging up the phone, Ji Yusheng lay powerlessly on the transparent glass coffee table, like flower petals falling on the marble floor in autumn, as if there was no more chance to be charming.I remembered that when I was choosing an undergraduate degree a few years ago, I revealed to my mother that I wanted to study art appreciation. My mother’s face suddenly darkened. If I let my mother know that I rejected the annual economics lecture that the professor strongly recommended them to attend, I would instead plan to attend poetry. Appreciation meeting, the consequences are beyond his imagination.

Although the guests of the poetry meeting are the brightest new stars in the romantic realism and decadent schools in today's poetry world, and one of them is a poet he has admired for a long time.But to my mother, everyone in the art world is just the headlines of art and entertainment news, or the topic of gossip, they are just small grains of sand, not worth mentioning.

Leaning on the table and thinking for a long time, his arm slowly began to go numb as if he had been roughly pricked with a needle. Ji Yusheng moved his arm slightly to the left, but accidentally knocked off the collection of poems. The collection of poems lay on his back on the floor, gently Make a soft "bang".As soon as I looked up, the words "Zhi Sheng Sheng" came into view.

The first time I saw a collection of poems with these three characters, it was sent by my husband, his first collection of poems.The opportunity for Mr. to send this collection of poems is that when I wrote a letter, I mentioned a few words that I was very confused about the tension between reality and ideals, just like losing my way in the foggy woods.Ji Yusheng didn't think that the husband would pay special attention to those few words, but the husband took them to heart.

Mr. always surprises him, which is probably why Ji Yusheng has secretly admired him for three years, even for someone he has never met.

That collection of poems is an unpublished collection of poems by Mr. According to him, it is the product of moaning about illness when he was young. defective product.But later, because of his love, he could always stand up in adversity, and his strokes gradually changed from drawing caterpillars to butterflies that could spread their wings and fly.

Not only this time, but in every communication with Mr. Ji Yusheng, he can always make a fresh courage rise in his chest, giving birth to an invisible gravitational force, pulling him back to chase his heart, and supporting him to go against reality.

He finally made up his mind from the letter sent by Mr. today and the discussion on the lecture among classmates at school earlier today.