as you meet

"What?" Perhaps it was because of the rumors about Cheng Yanbai heard at the last poetry meeting, Ji Yusheng's words were mixed with unnecessary anger.Besides, this is Shi Yu's mobile phone, why is he answering the phone, Shi Yu?Did Shi Yu voluntarily give him the phone?

"Why is Shi Yu's cell phone here with you?" Ji Yusheng's tone of voice sounded a bit like French bread, hard and stern so that it was not pleasant to listen to.

Having said that, the other side was silent again.

Thinking of the headline of "Cheng Yanbai's Fanatical Reader", and Cheng Yanbai who had already closed his pen, but suddenly started to be mentioned frequently and appeared in newspapers recently, Ji Yusheng had a bad feeling in his heart.

Cheng Yanbo in Toutiao is still named a legend, but this time it is not just because of his works and his extensive influence, but because of the deep influence of his works on personal thoughts.

Those headlines are still characterized by exaggerated words, and Ji Yusheng can only vaguely remember a few exaggerated and uncomfortable words such as "degenerate pen", "song of despair", "Satan's call", "devil's postman".Because of these attention-grabbing headlines, Cheng Yanbai suddenly became famous from silence.

It is not known whether Cheng Yanbai, who is at the center of all these storms, did it intentionally or unintentionally. Ji Yusheng even suspected that it was a profit-seeking method similar to that of a shameless businessman.

There was no answer on the other side, so Ji Yusheng had no choice but to cut to the chase and ask his most curious questions.

"Is Shi Yu's real name Lu Xiangri?" Ji Yusheng asked with a trembling voice.

He regretted it after asking, because he felt that when Cheng Yanbai heard this sentence, no matter whether the answer was "yes" or "no", according to Cheng Yanbo's previous temper, he would help Shi Yu hang up the phone impatiently.

But after a long time, there was a faint "hmm." from the opposite side.

"Later, the name was changed to Cheng Xiangri?" Ji Yusheng asked again.

Cheng Yanbai replied "En." again.

Ji Yusheng's hand holding the phone began to tremble slightly like his voice, "Then...then why is he called Shi Yu?"

This time Cheng Yanbai remained silent and did not answer his question for a long time.After waiting for a long time, realizing that Cheng Yanbai would not respond to him, Ji Yusheng changed the subject, and asked with the last glimmer of hope: "He... died?"

This time, Cheng Yanbai quickly gave the same answer as before, with a very flat and deep "Yeah."

"......what is the reason?"

I don't know what happened on the other side. There was only a "rustling" sound from here. After that, the air was silent for a while. After Ji Yusheng was anxious here for a long time, Cheng Yanbo said: "... .He left a suicide note."

Cheng Yanbai's answer was still very short, but the answer couldn't be clearer.

Ji Yusheng's hands trembled, and the phone fell to the ground. He lowered his head and went to pick up the phone with trembling hands in a panic.

A good friend left Earth's interstellar odyssey, and he didn't know about it until much later.It should have been a beautiful trip, but his eyes couldn't stop crying, and his heart couldn't help throbbing.

However, he couldn't cry bitterly, he could only cry suppressedly, because the feeling of leaving with independent choice in form is completely different from the feeling of leaving suddenly due to natural disasters. In the latter, you can collapse, you can be angry, It is very reasonable to cry out in pain, but for the former, you can only sigh in your heart. When others mention it, you can only say that I seem to have lost an important friend, and you cannot reasonably complain and vent your sadness.

Because for the latter, if you can hold his hand, if you go to interstellar roaming and invite him back, he will definitely come back with a smile, but for the former, if you hold his hand, he may not necessarily turn back.

So obviously no one was around, and he would not be ashamed because of crying and runny nose, but he still could only cry as if his nose was blocked by a cloud.

No matter how affectionate man is to some other human being or to nature, he seems to be more or less affectionate to some extent.Even though he has lost contact with Shi Yu for many years, Ji Yusheng is always willing to believe that he is living a good life, so there is not always a desire and determination that we will meet in the next moment.

But now that he knows about this, he wants to see Shi Yu very, very much, even if it's just two trains passing by, and he can see him standing in the opposite carriage, even if it's just for a second.

But there will be no more chances.

The person on the other side was obviously not good at comforting people, so even though he could vaguely hear the sound of crying, he didn't make a sound, he didn't even ask "Are you okay?", and just kept silent. For a moment, Ji Yusheng seemed to feel the breathing of the other side The voice became softer, it should be that the other party took the phone away.

The other party seemed to be doing this because he was tired of his crying.

After so many years, this person is still ruthless, indifferent to the departure of the person who admired him, Ji Yusheng couldn't help thinking this way.At the same time, he also felt sorry and angry for Shi Yu too much, so he couldn't help but say, "Shi Yu passed away, don't you care at all?"

The other party became silent again, realizing that the other party seemed to have not responded to him because he felt that he was not wrong at all, and asked the most fundamental question: "Do you like Shi Yu?"

This time he received a response, but it didn't seem to have anything to do with his question.Cheng Yanbo said: "I have never written love poems..."

Ji Yusheng always felt that there was more to this sentence, but Cheng Yanbai didn't say anything more.

Ji Yusheng thought he was making excuses, so he said unwillingly: "Even if you don't write love poems, there are other ways to express your love for a person, right? I have always felt that he really likes you. I remember the last time When I saw him, when I mentioned you, he still always helped you to talk, but you...really a little unreasonable to him." Ji Yusheng summoned up his courage again and said: "I feel that forcing a person to do things for myself Giving up on ideals is not love."

Whether it's his mother or Cheng Yanbai, the people they love in this way don't seem to be happy.

When he said this, Ji Yusheng was ready to be hung up on the phone and scolded "what do you know?" Even though he knew that he might not fully understand Cheng Yanbai and Shi Yu, he still couldn't help but say something for Shi Yu .At the same time, even though he tried his best to suppress it, he couldn't deny that this questioning tone was a little bit of venting after he was rejected.

But this time Cheng Yanbai was completely beyond Ji Yusheng's expectations, he didn't refute the whole process, just listened quietly, as if he accepted his criticism.

Did Shi Yu's departure really affect him?

"Shi Yu's memorial service is next week, do you... want to come and see him?" Cheng Yanbai didn't answer his question, but instead asked him out loud.

This sentence is the longest sentence Cheng Yanbai said in the whole conversation.I didn't feel it in the conversation just now, but Cheng Yanbai's voice when he said this long sentence was obviously a little strange.But Ji Yusheng, who was buried in sadness, didn't notice it.