as you meet

Song Shihe lowered his head and fiddled with the shift knob, then said naturally:

"It's a habit from the past."

"When you see something that you think is suitable for giving to others, you will want to buy it first, and you don't want to have a chance to give it away. You can't help but think that this gift is really suitable, and think about the expression of that person receiving the gift. It looks like the sun is rising, the smile is so dazzling, or it will be like the moon hanging high, the eyes are bent to a good range. When I think of this, my heart is filled instantly, and it is like the spring wind blowing through the wind chimes Before I could react, I had already bought the gift, and when I came back to my senses, I was already holding the gift waiting to be delivered with wings. Then it was the wind who urged me to see me in such a state, constantly Pushing me hard, not letting me stop, I ran to him with all my strength to give him the best gift."

When Song Shihe said these words, he still looked ahead, as if the person in the words who always had a mood as plump as a bird's feather was not him.While listening to the words of his husband, Ji Yusheng felt that his heart was also pounding by the spring breeze blowing in his face following the description of his husband.Could the gift Song Shihe mentioned refer to the gifts they gave each other before?Are you talking about the ink tank with the sun on it?Are you talking about a dream-making pen?Or is it the collection of poems that witnessed their encounter, witnessed the beginning of all things contending, was cherished by Ji Yusheng, and has been placed on the high shelf in his study all these years, encouraging him to run forward?

Or is it saying that they have communicated with each other before?If we could go to winter hand in hand in summer, can we return from winter to spring together now?Does rain still make sense?

Ji Yusheng, who was wrapped up in memories, couldn't resist the wave of memories and slapped his head fiercely. Thousands of words were about to rush out, and he wanted to let go of everything and ask Song Shihe if he still missed the past and cared about him.He clenched his fists, stared at the corner, determined to confess all the problems hidden in his heart after the turn, but after the car turned the corner, he heard the sound of Song Shihe turning back the steering column, Then I heard him say softly:

"But it's actually a bad habit."

"It's a waste of money, a waste of time, and a waste of love. It's easy to let hope fail, and return home sadly with a gift that can't be delivered, staring at the trash can but not wanting to throw it away. Watching them every day will only increase your troubles. With A flicker of hope that is easily extinguished and can one day be given away."

After a while, Song Shihe said again:

"So, I've been slowly changing over."

Ji Yusheng felt that Song Shihe's words were bitter, but after listening to Song Shihe's words, he could only wonder if he just insisted on feeling so.

Taking a look at Ji Yusheng's clothes, Song Shihe said:

"The same goes for that store. I haven't been there very often recently."

"...Why?" Ji Yusheng asked with a trembling voice.

Song Shihe did not remain silent this time, but said calmly and without nostalgia:

"As you said, the style of that store doesn't suit me. What should I do there?"

This sentence made Ji Yusheng feel that maybe Song Shihe had really let go of everything, but he was trapped by the past and couldn't escape. He felt that there were still traces of the past in everything he saw and heard, because they once gave meaning to everything together.Ji Yusheng feels that no matter how you look at this weather, it will snow in the next second. The crystal clear snow can wash away all old meanings and give things new meanings, but what greets him is only ruthless rain hitting the car, why? It can't be washed off.

He should at least be thankful that Song Shihe still treated him so tenderly, using the most indirect way to kill his last glimmer of hope.

In fact, before that, I should have understood all of this, didn't I already decide to regard today as the last day?But he only felt tightness in his chest, and wanted to cry hysterically in the rain, but he could only sit beside Song Shihe with red eyes.

Did not receive Ji Yusheng's answer, Song Shihe said again solemnly:

"I think we all deserve to be where we are."

Ji Yusheng raised his head when he heard the words, and said with difficulty:

"what?"

Song Shihe tightened his grip on the steering wheel and said:

"...Because it's going to be sad to be in the wrong place."

After Ji Yusheng heard this sentence, he opened his mouth but couldn't speak, because Song Shihe's words were saying that he was not suitable to be by his side, or he was saying that he was not suitable to pursue art shoulder to shoulder with him.

After Song Shihe said this, he didn't look at Ji Yusheng's reaction, but turned his head to look straight ahead, and then turned his head slightly to the other side stiffly, as if trying to cover up something.

Unable to suppress his emotions, Ji Yusheng could only turn his head and look out the window. He sighed slightly, and the scenery in front of him began to become blurred. I don't know if it was because of tears or the fog on the car window.

The car drove for a while, and the condensed atmosphere after the two of them turned their faces away was suddenly broken by a song.

"Iles tempson l'attendonledessine

Onsepares prépareons'ydestine

Ons 'uniese choisie et nos vies sont liées" (1)

As soon as Ji Yusheng heard this song, his attention returned to the carriage, his whole body trembled suddenly, and he became very flustered. When he frantically took out his mobile phone, he almost couldn't catch it. Under the seat, after messing around a bit, his ears were red because he looked so flustered in front of Song Shihe. He lowered his head and turned on the screen to find that the caller was a colleague of the company.

When he called to ask for leave, he mentioned to his boss and colleagues that he had some personal matters to ask for leave. It was not convenient to listen to the phone during the leave. He only called him if there was something urgent. Now the other party called, presumably there was something urgent, but Ji Yusheng didn't want to talk about it in front of Song Shihe His financial-related work, coupled with this song, completely exposed his thoughts in this situation, and he was ashamed. He just wanted to cut off the phone quickly so that the song would stop, and the phone eventually He hung up when no one answered.

The carriage became quiet again for a while, Ji Yusheng buried his head even lower, his hands holding the phone were sweaty.This song is of great significance to the two of them, if this song is their ringtone, the hidden thoughts must be fully revealed.It's just too bad to be passively exposed in this situation of complete rejection.

But Song Shihe didn't react at all, his face was normal, as if the song meant nothing to him and said:

"It's okay, you can take it."

"Ah, no, it's okay, it's not an important call."

Song Shihe glanced at him and asked:

"Who's calling?"

"No...not an important call" Ji Yusheng said stumbled.

"Is it your home phone?"

Under Song Shihe's flat but forceful questioning, Ji Yusheng finally said frankly:

"The company called."

Song Shihe was stunned, "...it's the company."

During the conversation, Ji Yusheng, who kept his head down and held the phone tightly, didn't notice that Song Shihe's hand holding the steering wheel turned slightly blue.

Not long after Ji Yusheng finished speaking, the same song suddenly sounded again, and he wanted to press it in a panic. Song Shihe glanced at his caller ID and said:

"It's okay, answer it. Since it's a call from the company, maybe it's something urgent."

"Ah, no, no—"

Song Shihe ignored him and asked directly:

"Is it because the company's information cannot be leaked to outsiders? I can wear earphones."

"No, it's just, I..." Ji Yusheng didn't know how to continue when he said this.

Seeing this, Song Shihe said, "Then take it, it's okay."

While Song Shihe kept asking him to answer the phone, Ji Yusheng finally sorted out his mood and answered the constant calls.It's just that after he answered the phone, he moved a little away from Song Shihe's side, clinging to the left car door, and curled up into a ball, as if he really didn't want to reveal the content of the conversation.

Song Shihe felt that Ji Yusheng like this was like a squirrel that always came to his house at night, and huddled up with food as soon as he found it.It's just that the squirrel only made him feel helpless and cute, but the person in front of him made his heart ache.

Shengsheng seemed to have lost a lot of weight again, this was his first thought, and then he heard Ji Yusheng's stern and decisive tone that was completely different from that of just now, which he had never heard before.

"Hey?"

"What? Why did you suddenly call to cancel the second meeting? Did you not do a good job in the first report?"

"Why did this happen? The "newcomer" has passed the probationary period and has been a regular employee for a long time. He used the newcomer as an excuse when he went to work, and was arranged to make an extremely simple report with only a few dozen pages, but it was full of mistakes. He also used the newcomer as an excuse. , and now the company has lost its partners, are you still using "newcomers" as an excuse?"

"So what if he is the son of a relative of the boss? Will the fact that his work ability is not high be changed?"

"Of course, of course I will help you, that is a very important partner of the company, but I will also report truthfully to the boss."

"No, sorry, I've given him many chances."

"Well, it's hard work for you to reorganize the information. I'll come back and treat everyone to dinner."

"Well, okay, I'll be back in two days."

Ji Yusheng didn't sit back until he was sure to hang up the phone, glanced at Song Shihe cautiously, and found that his face was normal, thinking that he might not pay attention to his phone, Ji Yusheng was a little relieved.

But when the car stopped at the intersection in front of the red light, Song Shihe, who had been silent after the phone call, suddenly said:

"For example,"

"Compared to sticking to the choices you missed back then, I think you are now in the right place."

This sentence was like the sharpest pen, and with a "crash", it scratched the letter paper filled with the past in Ji Yusheng's mind, crushing the flowers they planted.

"What?" Ji Yusheng lowered his hand holding the phone weakly, raised his head and asked with red eyes.

"I think you made the most correct choice for yourself."

Ji Yusheng opened his eyes wide when he heard this, and asked in disbelief:

"Sir...what do you mean?" As he spoke, he felt his lips start to tremble, and his voice seemed to be slowly approaching the epicenter of the earthquake, "Why did you say that, sir...?"

"You are doing well now, aren't you?" Although Song Shihe's words were questions, they were very firm.

"Sir, do you think I'm doing well now?" Ji Yusheng lowered his eyes, his eyelashes perched weakly on a broken branch like a wet butterfly, and asked sadly.

Song Shihe seemed completely unaware of Ji Yusheng's emotions, and said with a hint of sarcasm:

"I have a stable job, I have full confidence in my ability, and my boss favors me with high work ability, so I can call the shots and give advice to others in the workplace."

"And you should be living a wealthy life now. Wearing gold and silver and living in a high-rise building is the dream of many people."

Song Shihe smiled inexplicably, "For you, isn't this a good life? Are you a little too greedy?"

"Greedy?" After hearing Song Shihe's question, Ji Yusheng gave a wry smile, looked at Song Shihe with a gloomy face and said:

"Is that what I want?"

"..."

Without Song Shihe's answer, Ji Yusheng asked in a low voice with a hint of sadness and powerlessness:

"Don't you know what I want, sir?"

Song Shihe remained silent, so Ji Yusheng said again:

"Don't sir understand what I'm insisting on?"

Ji Yusheng sat up straighter, turned to Song Shihe and said:

"I don't want these,"

Song Shihe's indifference made Ji Yusheng keep asking in his heart, why?Why does the gentleman who once had such a connection with him refuse to understand him so much now?

"What do I really want to pursue, sir, don't you know?"

The author has something to say:

(1) "Ding Dong" from "Le Rougeetle Noir L'Opera Rock"

There should be two more chapters today, wait a minute