lonely three people

I was left alone in the room for the time being, in a dark mood, silent, savoring everything, making people seem to forget the sadness and troubles in my heart in an instant, everything has become so natural, so cold, are you calm? It turned out that those things that were thought to be love were just selfish elements, how selfish and despicable I loved...

It is said that every family has scriptures that are difficult to recite. Why is my own scripture so disorganized? Would it be so difficult for someone else to deal with it!

I am very proud, my background is very "prominent", because I have a "husband" and a "wife"

From an outsider's point of view, I am undoubtedly a disloyal, half-hearted bastard, but from my own point of view, of course, I am also a bastard!But who knows the difficulty of walking between two men, who knows how tiring and tiring it is to be around two men.

He is shrewd and capable, successful in his career, conscientious in his career, has no lack of sense of responsibility in his family, and behaves in a dignified manner.Although there are some machismos, there is no doubt that he is an impeccable man. He is a role model for me to live and learn. His perfection is almost impeccable. I am deeply fascinated by his excellence. He is a big tree with luxuriant branches and leaves enough to enjoy the shade.No matter what problems I encounter or when I am unhappy, he will support me and take care of everything for me. He can be alone, but he never lacks a gentle side. His name is Lin Mushan, like Lin Mushan in the spring breeze.

He is lively and lovely, simple and sensible, obedient to my words, will not make me angry, will accompany me to be happy when I am happy, and will obediently pour into my arms when I am not happy, a pure heart like a glass of mineral water; not stained with impurities , He will always stand by my side, I seem to become extremely tall in front of him, even if what I said is not the truth, he will take it as the truth.People love, people love, people can not let go.He is willing to be the green leaves that set off the flowers, he will not make a show or extravagant hopes, although occasionally there will be a little vanity, a little naughty, but this is his nature, his privilege, no one can refuse to love such a person , His name is Zou Chengyang, Cheng Yang is like a rising sun, fresh, new, and sunny.

I don't know what virtue and ability I have, but I embrace both sides. I don't know how to rhetoric, and I don't know how to do tricks.Maybe I am naturally affectionate, and I am sorry for them even though I am suffering. Although I want to take care of them with all my strength and feel sorry for them, but I am helpless, and now it will only hurt more and more.

Maybe I should make a choice, I also understand the truth that long-term pain is worse than short-term pain, but the palm of the hand and the back of the hand let me choose.God, if you have mercy on me and want to send such a lovely person to me, why do you send two at a time? Is it to torture me?The promise told me that I should not give up on Mushan, but the same promise told me that Cheng Yang was not at fault, and I owe him a promise.Where do I go, of course I can’t have both, but I can’t afford to discard anything. Contradictions, what right do I have to talk about promises!

If I have to give up one, I can't do it. I would rather give up myself and both of them.

For a passionate person, debts will naturally accumulate when there is too much love. For a person who does not know how to choose, having two lovers is undoubtedly the most painful. I was wrong. Why should I be punished with them? .

No one will give up their lover, even the willful Mushan can't take it easy, it's just that he knows how to make each other and the three of them feel better.

Maybe he is right, his decisions are always far-sighted and I will never forget, no matter how long it has been or how long we have been apart, I am used to believing in his decisions, just like I once believed that he would bring me a better future.At this moment, I am like a drowned chicken, a dog in the water, trying hard to grab a life-saving straw to change the status quo.

Things have come to this, I can't think of what I should do except belittle myself and blame myself.

Afterwards, I sat alone and fiddled with my mobile phone. In fact, I just kept switching screens to cover up my bewilderment.

Mu Shan and Cheng Yang chatted a lot about serial dramas, which are their common hobbies, and would look at me and laugh from time to time.

Until Mushan picked up the backpack and said goodbye to me, I didn't pay any attention to it, just watched everything happen blankly.

"Give me a hug." Mu Shan walked towards me, but I was still sitting in my seat, indifferent.

As if pulled up by him, Mushan, who was carrying a blue backpack, gave me a big bear hug just like when he came, but I still failed to give him a hug back, and I was hugged by him with my hands drooping.

Mu Shan is a bit taller than me, I want to look up at him slightly, what a familiar face, I see myself again in those pair of pupils, I can always see my own projection in Mu Shan's eyes... he He was smiling, with the corners of his mouth raised slightly, as if everything was calm for him, leaving me with a smiling face all the time.

The particularly clear (Davidoff) perfume smell broke into my perception, and the familiarity made my nose sour.

"Laugh" he said to me but I couldn't laugh, his breath hit my face and I knew he might need a goodbye kiss, but all it ended up was his hand on my back slapping mine back.

Let go of me, pinch my face, watching him turn around, my heart suddenly hurts.

I want to ask myself for an answer, I love Mushan, the only one, is certain, irreplaceable, and now the answer is very clear in my heart.

That turned Mushan's face was reflected in my eyes, I saw a trace of redness in his eyes, and saw a drop of tear in the corner of his eyes, although it only turned into a back view in an instant... from then on Don't see his face anymore!Did he cry the moment he turned around?Or he turned around in a hurry because he was crying!

he……

fir...

There was a bang, as if something exploded in my head, I didn't know how I took the steps, I only knew that my hands were firmly grasping the straps of his blue backpack.

I don't let it go, at this moment, I only have one thought, pulling that strap desperately, pulling it hard, as long as I let go of this strap, something important in my life will slip away.

"哐" The backpack I tore off slammed heavily on the bedroom door, and I threw it there.

It took me many years to find my dream, and many relationships to learn the mysterious way of love.

I have been weak and passive, only at this moment, I suddenly understand what is "reluctant" and what is "cherishing"