bitter fireworks

With a restless heart, I came back from Guangdong again. The sky is still the same sky, and the clouds are still the same clouds. It seems that nothing has changed. It’s just that I’ve been away for two years. I’m no longer the original me. The jumping "little rabbit" has now become a taciturn little cat.Is this the timidity of being close to home?

It is the season of late autumn again, it seems that this season always makes people feel inexplicably sad, the green hills in the distance are still so dark green, so tall and straight, so majestic, time has really taken a lot away - our youth, our laughter, Our loneliness and melancholy, our pointing country and inspiring words, and our love, but it cannot carry away the ancient ballads and the majestic green mountains.

Walking on the way home, looking at the sun setting on the west mountain, the sunset glowing in the sky, I suddenly felt like a tired bird returning to its nest. It has been two years, whether it is long or not, I, a wanderer who wandered the world, is back. I can't tell the feeling in my heart, is it excitement?Sour?Relieved?Still lonely?

I really don't know what I'm thinking, maybe I'm thinking about everything, maybe I'm thinking about nothing...

"Wow, woof, woof" When I was about to get home, the puppy I bought still recognized me, wagging its tail, and ran over to greet me long ago.This little guy has grown up, his black hair is shining like a joke, and his eyes are also flickering at me, as if we haven't seen each other for so long, and we have to see enough.

"Xiao Yong, you're back, why don't you call and ask your brother to pick me up?" My mother was the first to find me, probably my uncle told her that I would be back, so she was waiting at the door.

"Hmm...Mom, how are you doing recently? Have you had a stomach problem?" Since I left home to work, my main concern is my mother's health.

"Fortunately, your sister-in-law often buys me some stomach-invigorating medicine, and I don't get sick much now..." My brother was talking about marriage when I left, and now my sister-in-law has a baby, time flies so fast ah.

Looking at my cute little nephew, I feel really relieved. I think at least my burden is not so heavy, and my brother has done a good job in carrying on the family.I took the prepared gift to my little nephew, and the little guy became excited immediately, he didn't want anyone to hug him, and concentrated on studying toys.Next, I distributed the gifts I brought home from Guangdong to everyone one by one. It can be regarded as a little bit of my heart. Although it is my family, it at least shows that I have them in my heart and have not forgotten them...

My mother prepared a table of sumptuous dishes, and my brother also drank some wine with me.There was a warm feeling during the banquet. It is good to have a family. Hou’s family is our eternal harbor when we are tired and injured.

After taking a shower, I lay on the bed and couldn't fall asleep. I was tossing and turning, and my heart was in a mess. After sitting in the car for so long, I still have insomnia. What's wrong with me?

Are you really going to see him tomorrow?Is he really on drugs?But why didn't the family mention it?I don't know when I fell asleep in the groggy...

A ray of sunlight hit my face through the glass, and I felt a white light drifting in front of my eyes. I opened my lazy eyes and blocked the dazzling sunlight with my hands.I wanted to sleep for a while, but my mother outside told me to eat. I got up, dressed, rinsed my mouth, washed my face, ate something randomly, and went out with the gift I bought.

Along the way, I was always not at ease in my heart, and I was talking about all kinds of things. I, who never wear sunglasses, actually put them on today. I don’t know if it’s to cover the sun or to hide my embarrassment. Haven’t I put them down yet?I'm still confused?I keep asking myself...

When I was thinking wildly, someone suddenly called out, "Brother Yong, is that you?"

I didn’t know you and still called me Brother Yong. I was feeling annoyed, but then I remembered that I was wearing sunglasses. Naturally, people didn’t recognize me, so I followed the voice, and it really shocked me:

I saw that person's complexion was sallow, his eyes were sunken, his lips were scorched black, and his body had lost a lot of weight. If it wasn't for the fact that his outline hadn't changed a lot, I wouldn't have recognized him.My God, is this Zhichun?This is the handsome and strong Zhichun from the past?How could it have changed so much in just two years?I stood there blankly and looked at him in a daze. He avoided my questioning eyes, lowered his head in frustration, and put his hands over there, then over here, and finally put them in his pockets. .

"What's the matter with you?" The first words that came to my mind

"No...it's nothing, I heard that you will come back, so I'll wait for you here!" He seemed to be no longer the Zhichun he used to be, his eyes were empty, and his words were a little uncomfortable.

"Well... I came back last night and went to see you. I never thought I would meet here. Let's go to your house together!" I glanced at his flustered eyes, walked over and said.

"Brother, I... I... I have a girlfriend, and I did it with her, I... I'm sorry for you, I didn't keep my promise!" Zhichun said hesitantly, with tears in his eyes.

"Isn't this a good thing? It's too late for me to be happy. How can I blame you? Then those rumors will be self-defeating. I'm very happy that you can find happiness. I'm so happy for you!" I patted him on the shoulder , to comfort him.

"But I still can't let you go. Do you know how miserable I was after you left? My girlfriend still loves me as always, but I just can't get interested in her. Every time I do what I think in my mind with her It's you, I really miss you so much, it makes people collapse..." He lay on my shoulder like a child and wept bitterly, I patted his back and hugged him, trying to comfort him , but he also burst into tears.

"Then why do you want to abuse yourself, why do you want to take drugs? Don't you know that taking drugs is a dead end? Taking drugs is drinking doves to quench your thirst, do you know that?" I said hoarsely, shaking him with both hands, Wish I could shake him awake.

"I don't want to either. At first I missed you too much. The pressure of gossip outside made me physically and mentally exhausted. I got some K fans with a few buddies, thinking that this would relax me. I always like to be in a daze. I think about you, I feel like you are really by my side when I take drugs, I really like this feeling, and later I always do things like this with my girlfriend, after taking drugs, I regard her as you, but I didn’t expect that the more The more I smoked, the more I injected heroin with a needle when I couldn’t get enough of it, I’m hopeless now, really, I can’t go back again…”

"Shut up for me, why can't you go back? I came back to detoxify you, listen to me, if you want to play drugs, want to play your life, I will accompany you..." I stared at him fiercely and said .

"I tried, but I can't quit, I really can't quit..." He still looks so bald

"Remember that we have to stand together through thick and thin, and share weal and woe? Since I decided to come back to help you quit drugs, you have to promise me that no matter what happens, you have to listen to me. I don't believe that you can't quit drugs. Be strong, okay? Look at you now What has it become, people or ghosts, do you know how much my heart hurts seeing you like this? Don't you think about me?"

"Okay, what's the use? We still can't be together, you will still leave me, and I have to be with a woman I don't like. What's the point of living like that? You will promise me not to leave me, and Will I be together forever?" He looked at me longingly

Escaping his burning eyes, I let go of his hand, sighed deeply, and said, "Some things cannot be forced, we have to face the real world, but I can promise you to be a good brother for life, Good friend. You are not a child anymore, and you know that we not only live for ourselves, but also for our parents and relatives. How can I feel better when you give up on yourself for me? Don’t think about other things, the most important thing now Just to help you detoxify, you just listen to me, detox well, I just want to see Zhichun from before, I don’t want you to become like this..."

"Okay then, I'll listen to you..."

Zhichun promised me to quit drugs. While I was happy, I was also very worried. After all, quitting drugs is not an easy task. It requires super perseverance and determination. We can only provide external assistance, and the key is to rely on himself.But in order for him to regain his strength and start a new life again, I will definitely do my best to help him.

How many yellow leaves have been blown down by the wisps of autumn wind, how many dreams between us have been blown away, and how many sad tears have been blown away.Why did I meet Zhichun again in late autumn?It's not as good as once, full of melancholy...

Uncle is very happy to see me, I know he is pinning all his hopes on me, but can I really do it?It's such a difficult question, but since I have chosen it, I will go on with the courage until I completely defeat drugs!