Brothers second and third

25

When I got home, my sister-in-law was clearing the table, and my uncle and aunt sat beside me with their heads bowed.After seeing me back home, my aunt's eyes were a little red: "Did you send your mother back? Why did you come back so soon?"

"She...would not let me take her home, and I would return when I was on the way."

The uncle sighed: "She left cleanly in the early years, what are you doing now!"

My aunt put her arm on my uncle's back, and then looked at me: "That's his home! Why can't I come back, besides, Depeng is here too!"

I remained silent and didn't speak. My brother hugged the little nephew in his arms to his uncle: "Just stop arguing, your grandson wants you to hug him!"

The uncle hugged the little nephew and kissed the little guy's hair.My brother pulled me and said to my aunt: "I took Depeng to sleep." Then he said to his sister-in-law: "You pack up and go back to rest. I will go to my younger brother's room tonight. I haven't slept together for many years. I have been sleeping with him since I was a child." A quilt came, now that I think about it, I miss that time."

After taking a shower at night, I sat on the bed in a daze, thinking of her appearance just now, I seem to remember her smiling expression when I was a child, but now it doesn't look like it.My heart was in a mess. I thought about my childhood, and then thought about how she sat on the side and didn't pick up any food when I was eating. I should have given her something to eat.Thinking of being called a wild child that no one wanted when I was a child, thinking of myself hiding in the haystack and crying alone, thinking of my uncle and aunt, I sighed and looked up at the moonlight outside the window.I didn't know where she was before, I just thought we were all under the same moon, but now I know she is there, but it seems to be farther than the distance of the moon.

When my brother came out of the shower, he saw that I was in a daze and asked me, "What are you looking at?"

I sighed: "Nothing."

Sitting on the bed, the elder brother wiped his feet and said: "Man, there may not be any encounters in this life. Some encounters make people happy, and some make people sad. But the past is the past. We have to think about the future. Yes or no?"

The elder brother continued: "Don't look at my brother who is not much older than you, but I am an outsider, and I know what you think. I know what you are thinking now. She left this house before, and you may not be able to accept it now that she is back, but the former It's all over, and besides, looking at her gray hair now, she must have suffered a lot outside. Don't think I'm nagging, what I want to tell you is the past, so let's not care about it. Don't blame anyone or hate anyone, what we are facing is the future, we just have to live well in the future, don't you think?"

The eldest brother nodded when he saw me, and then he continued: "Also, look at our mother, her eyes were red just now, you should pay more attention to her in the future, after all, she has raised us for so many years, and she has long regarded you as her mother." Kiss your son, don't let her think that you have forgotten your aunt when you have a biological mother, right?"

I looked at the elder brother in front of me, and he looked at me with concerned eyes, I smiled: "Understood, elder brother."

The elder brother smiled and said, "My little brother is smart, and he understands it as soon as he talks about it. All right, then let's go to sleep. I haven't slept with you for a long time."

Lying in the quilt with my eldest brother at night, I watched the moon shadow swaying on the wall, and it kept swaying.I didn't feel sleepy at all, I just looked at it with my eyes open, watching it move slowly on the wall.Brother is right, the past may be over, and we will live a good life in the future, after all, now that she is back, I have a home again.I will take her to Harbin in the future!When my second child and I are stable, I will take her there. I think those people in the village must take her as a joke, otherwise why does she keep her head down?Looking at her gray hair today, she must have had a bad time outside, otherwise she wouldn't be able to come back.There are also uncles and aunts. I will also honor them well in the future. I can never repay the kindness of nurturing for so many years.Thinking about it, I gradually became sleepy, and when I was about to fall asleep, she touched my hair by the bed, so vividly, she said: "Son, I'm leaving, you are fine." Then I looked at her Leaving slowly under the moonlight, I wanted to call her, but no sound came out of my throat. I wanted to get up and ask her where she was going, but I couldn't move as if I was tied to the bed.

I woke up suddenly, only to realize that I had a dream, looking at my phone, at 03:30 in the morning, my brother was soundly asleep.I wiped the sweat from my head, thinking about the dream just now, I felt really strange, I got up and opened the door, looked at the yard, only the moonlight was empty.Go back to bed and lie down, no sleepiness at all.

In a daze, I felt that the morning sun was a bit dazzling, I rubbed my eyes, and was about to get up, when I heard someone outside the yard shouting: "It's not good, come and have a look at your house, something has happened!" I crawled Looking out from the window sill, the person who came to report the news looked in a hurry. He pointed to the barren well at the head of the village, where many people surrounded him.

I suddenly felt panicked, put on my clothes indiscriminately, dragged my shoes and ran out, my brother followed behind me.Someone in the distance saw me running towards me, and they started pointing at me and muttering.Panting, I pulled away from the crowd.

She lay quietly on the ground, her head was dark red, and the blood had coagulated.

My heart felt like someone had punched me so hard that I couldn't breathe.I looked at the crowd with a blank expression, and then looked back at my elder brother. He rushed into the crowd and dragged me out of the scene.

I heard my elder brother say to make a phone call, but some people said it was useless, it must have happened last night, they said that her head hurt badly, she should have jumped headfirst.She chose not to give herself a way out.

The sun is dazzling.When I was sleeping last night, I still thought about taking her away, leaving this place where we all had heartbreak, but why?Why is she so decisive?Why don't you tell me every time you leave?Obviously everything has been planned, obviously I have accepted her, obviously the hurt in my heart has long been forgotten, why do I have to do it again?Why?I raised my head, the sky was so blue, it was so blue that people were dizzy.God, what crimes did I do in my previous life!Why let me face the departure of my loved ones again?

On this day in October 2007, I felt completely abandoned.

After the second child knew about the accident at my house, he immediately asked for leave and flew over.When he got home all was quiet and I sat in my hut in silence.My brother brought my second child in, and I said, "You're here."

The second child nodded, put the bag on the ground, and sat down beside me.He didn't speak, just held my hand quietly.I feel the temperature of the palm of my old hand, which makes me feel at ease.The second child stayed with me for a few days, and I took him to Nanshan to burn paper money, and balls of paper scraps turned into ashes and flew around.She left, but this time I didn't shed a single tear, and even those who watched the fun at the funeral were talking about it, saying that I should cry, but I was too tired, really tired, so tired that I didn't have the strength to go sad.

I said, "I chose this place. She can stay far away from the village here, and no one will judge her again." According to the family's regulations, she will not be buried in the ancestral grave.

The second child said, "That's fine, it's also pure here alone."

Everything is calm, but why is my heart still so tired.

I want to escape, just want to escape.

When I left the house, my aunt cried, and she said: "My baby, come back early next time, our family is waiting for you to come back." I grew up and hugged her tightly for the first time.

The eldest brother shook hands with the second child: "Thank you for coming to see Depeng, and please take care of him during this time."

Saying goodbye to family with heavy hearts.I used to go home to rest, but now when I leave, my heart is even more tired.

Back to Harbin again, this familiar city, at the end of October, the cold wind suddenly picked up.In the days after resignation, life was not happy.After I came to Harbin from my hometown, I dreamed of her several times, and every time it was a cold night with a pale moonlight, and she didn't speak.Every time I dream, I talk nonsense and sweat profusely.Whenever my dick wakes me up from my dream, I always hug him tightly.The second child doesn't dislike the sweat all over my body, he always strokes my back gently, quietly and gently.Because I often suffer from insomnia at night, my second child can’t sleep well. Sometimes when I turn over, my second child will wake up. He asked me, “Did you have a nightmare again?” I said, “No.” He stretched out his hand and touched it. After making sure there was no sweat on my back, he continued to sleep in peace.The second child does not rest well at night, and his mental state is very poor during the day. His eyes are often bloodshot, and I blame myself.My second child got into a fight with me one night because I insisted on sleeping on the couch.I spread the blanket on the sofa and prepared to rest. The old man was drinking a can of Coke in his hand. He saw me spread the blanket on the sofa and frowned and asked me, "What are you doing?" I said, "Today I sleep Sofa, otherwise it will affect your sleep well." The second child came a little annoyed, and took the blanket back to the bedroom: "Nonsense!"

I sighed and said, "Sleeping in the bedroom will affect your rest. I'll just sleep on the sofa these days. When I can't fall asleep, I can just watch TV."

The second child had a sad expression on his face: "The bed in the bedroom is as big as it is comfortable. What's wrong with you? I know you're sad after such a big thing happened, but you can't always be like this! Can you stop thinking about the past? I beg you Depeng!" I looked at the expression of the second child, he seemed to be more helpless than me, I turned my head and did not speak.Why don't I want to forget the past, and why don't I want to start a new life, but I'm really a little scared, I'm afraid that after I finally muster up the strength to live a new life, an unexpected pain will knock me back to my original shape.I was really timid, I felt like a coward.

The second child slammed the Coke in his hand to the ground. After a crisp sound, the bubbling bubbles spread out one by one on the ground, and I heard the hiss of bubbles bursting.He turned and went back to the bedroom.I leaned my head on the sofa and looked at the lamp on the roof. The lampshade was engraved with tiny flower buds, full of vigor.The yellowed light bulb emitted pale light, through the lampshade, through the pattern, and illuminated the corners of the room.

After a while, the second child came out and squatted in front of me.When I looked down at him, there were two more lines of tears on his face.This is the first time I have seen him cry, his expression is so sad, it makes my heart ache.These days, I have been immersed in my own pain, and I have no time to think about the feelings of my second child. He accompanied me to be sad, carefully made me happy, and had to work hard every day.At this time, the second child was as helpless as a child. He just squatted in front of me and cried. I felt like my heart was being pierced.I held my second child in my arms, and he buried his head on my shoulder for a long time.

After a long time, the second child raised his head, touched my face and said, "We'll be fine in the future, don't be sad, let's live together again, okay?"

I held his hand and said hoarsely, "Okay."

From the day when the accident happened at home, I have always felt that I harmed her. If I hadn't returned to my hometown, I wouldn't have seen her, and maybe there wouldn't be anything that happened later. If I didn't send her home one night, maybe Then she won't feel sad, and she won't throw herself into a well in the middle of the night.Whenever I think of her helplessly wandering by the dry well late at night, and finally chooses to end her life, I can't help but feel a little suffocated.She left me twice, each time she left so decisively.My fate with her in this life is finally over.

In the past few days when I returned to Harbin, I sat alone thinking about things all day, exhausted physically and mentally.The sadness of my second child made me understand that I have to live well, and there are people around me who need me, such as my second child, such as my aunt.They love me so much and I can't make them sad.I want to live a good life, at least I still have them.

Destiny knocks us down time and time again, until the wound heals, we have to get up and move on. This is life, a living day.