Fat Guangge's happy time

Do you know why men smoke?

Because smoking is good for your health.

Because smoking doesn't make people have diarrhea until they can't get out of bed.

Not like instant mutton!

Fatty Guang finally returned from the south, Sima Xi was naturally very happy. "Oh, look, you've exposed my brother Guang like an Ethiopian refugee." Sima Xi yelled, stroking the fat man's body with his hands, "This hand, this MM, and this PP are all skinny. in a circle."

Fatty's eyes followed Sima Xi's hand, showing a puzzled expression. "I said Xixi, am I as exaggerated as you said?"

"Going to the beach in Sanya for business, brother Guang, you have worked so hard!" Sima Xi teased with a smile, "What's for dinner tonight? My little brother cooks for my brother himself."

The fat man thought for a while with the back of his head, and cursed: "Grass, the life of the people in the south is so miserable that they don't even want to eat salt. It's green vegetables, which makes me like a bird in my mouth." She licked Sima Xi's face, "Just eat boiled mutton, it's simple and delicious. I don't want to tire my little heart."

Xiao Cai'er muttered next to her: "What a fart, I'm full just looking at you two!"

The next morning, Sima Xi remembered a law.

According to American scientific research, try to avoid prolonged contact with fat people when losing weight, because that will reduce the effect and probability by more than 40%.

So, on the other hand, is it necessary to make more fat friends if you want to gain weight?

I was happy last night, and I saw Fatty Guang and Xiao Caier sipping a lot of wine and big pieces of boiled meat. As a result, Sima Xi's enthusiasm for appetite was also greatly mobilized.The consequence was that I had diarrhea N times in the night, and now I came out of the bathroom again with shaking legs.He sat down on the sofa in the living room, and said to Fatty Guang who came out of the bedroom: "I don't blame you, it's my fault. Can you bring me a cup of hot water? I'm already dehydrated."

Fatty Guang hurriedly brought a glass of water to Sima Xi, and stood beside him stupidly, a little at a loss: "I, I, but"

"Well, yes." Sima Xi took a sip of water, and handed the cup to Fatty Guang, "But you, and Xiao Caier, don't have diarrhea, right?"

"It's not a big deal." The fat man just put the water glass down on the coffee table, sat on the sofa, reached out and hooked Sima Xi's shoulder, let him lean in his arms, and gently rubbed Sima Xi's lower abdomen with his right hand. "However, I also made a small mistake. Originally, with your appetite, you already ate a lot. But later, I forced you to eat some more. Oh, I didn't see that you were too thin, and I wanted you to eat a lot. Do you need some nutrition?"

Fatty Guang is a naturally hot player. Even through a layer of underwear, Sima Xi can still feel the heat from his hands to his lower abdomen.Leaning on the fat man's fleshy chest after tossing his sore body all night, he immediately felt much more comfortable psychologically.

"Hey." Sima Xi sighed helplessly, "Comparing people to others, it's maddening. It's all shaming, but the results are different."

Xiao Caier just came out of the room, didn't hear clearly, and opened her mouth to ask: "What is better than what?"

Fatty Guang gave Xiao Caier an angry look, and muttered, "Xixi said that humans are incomparable with pigs!"

No one went to the company a few days ago, Sima Xi was a little worried.Feeling much better again, he sent the two to the company to have a look.Fatty Guang and Xiao Cai'er washed up, dressed up and went out.Xiao Caier got into the Hummer first, and politely opened the door of the passenger seat.Unexpectedly, the fat man just snorted, didn't show any face at all, and got on the little Alto by himself, and started driving slowly.The streets in the community are not wide enough for a big Hummer to pass.The Alto car stood in front of him, driving in a crooked way on purpose, Xiao Caier was so angry that he honked and cursed.One accidentally turned off the fire.The fat man looked at the mirror and laughed, and suddenly accelerated and rushed into the traffic on the avenue outside the community.It was one o'clock at work, and the traffic was heavy.Xiao Caier chased after him furiously, but Fatty Guang relied on the compactness and flexibility of the Alto car to go back and forth, throwing the Hummer far away.

What the heck, drive a Hummer and think you are the boss of the underworld?Fatty only has this beauty in his heart.

But Sima Xi, who stayed at home alone, couldn't be happy.After drinking a lot of boiled water, my stomach stopped and I started to urinate.The problem is, I can't solve it again.

It's been a long time, and I have never had a problem with urination.Unexpectedly, this time I had diarrhea, and the depression started again.I went to the bathroom several times to no avail, and finally took out the urinal and put it on the edge of the sofa.Otherwise, it would be too troublesome to run again and again.

I remember that time in the hospital, Brother Bin used his "flower picker" to get it done.Sima Xi recalled Brother Bin's method, and kneaded the guy himself to try to solve it.Half an hour passed, still nothing.

Could it be that his technique is not smart enough?However, you can't call Bin to come over, because you can't quench your thirst from afar.It was so uncomfortable, Sima Xi felt that his bladder was going to burst, but he still couldn't pee.

"Brother Bin, I, I..." Sima Xi couldn't bear it any longer, and called Hu Yongbin.

"Xixi, rub the groin below more, um, it stimulates the prostate gland"

After tossing about for about 10 minutes, I finally urinated out of my mind.After emptying his bladder, Sima Xi lay down on the sofa without putting on his pants.Sweat all over my forehead, it's really hard work.

He fell asleep for a while, opened his eyes, got up, drank half a glass of water, and felt his physical strength recovered.So, I was going to the bathroom to empty the urinal.The morning sun came in from the east window, and the moment Sima Xi bent down to pick up the urinal, he could clearly see the yellowish urine inside and a dark mass at the bottom.With a slight shake, the dark colors scattered.

It turned out to be red!