Short Story: The Unbearable Lightness of Being

"Meal is ready," he called, pushing open the kitchen door.

I walked out of the living room and suddenly remembered something: "Thinking is just a kind of consciousness."

"what?"

"Thinking is consciousness, and awareness of consciousness is not a question of whether there is unity between thinking and existence."

"Well, I think this is also a philosophical question?" He was a little bit annoyed when he was seen through, "You think so carefully."

I glanced at him coldly: "This is my previous job."

He raised his eyebrows again, but said nothing.

Dinner is sweet and sour pork ribs, fried squid with green peppers and Dongpo pork, all meat dishes, no soup.Because I ate a little for lunch, I am really hungry now, but I don’t want to act too hungry. This feeling is really painful.

He estimated that he served me rice according to his own appetite, a big bowl full, but it was just to my liking.He didn't mind my existence at all, he ate meat and food, I finally understood why I couldn't see him in the cafeteria, if his eating like this was seen by his subordinates, it probably wouldn't be dignified.

He didn't patronize the meal, but also asked me some questions, he asked how my parents were, my life in the UK, and my career as a university teacher. I gradually became familiar with each other, but I don't know if every employee has enjoyed this kind of treatment.

"Where are your parents now?"

"U.K."

"They are assured that you are alone in Shanghai?"

"Yes, how about you."

"Me?" He scratched his hair, "My parents are in the country."

"Don't you live with them?"

"They're not used to living in the city."

"Oh."

"Okay, how do you like chatting like this?"

"good."

"Well, let me ask if you have a girlfriend?" He must think that he can relax now and take off his boss' coat.

"No."

"It's not that big yet."

"how about you?"

"I originally had it." He was a little depressed, "I died of dystocia."

I quickly apologized: "I'm really sorry, I don't know."

"It's okay, it's okay." He waved his hand, "That was five years ago."

Continue to be silent, I don't think I should speak.

He lit a cigarette and asked me if I wanted to listen.

I am silent.

He began to narrate that he and his wife met in Hangzhou eight years ago, and later they came to Shanghai. The tobacco company was established at the suggestion of his wife at that time, and the various twists and turns in the middle will not be repeated. He made a successful marriage proposal. One year later, the little life that should have belonged to this happy family was coming, but the little angel turned into a little devil, and took away his wife's life one night when no one could react.

I don't know what to say.

"Do you know? In the mourning hall, I kept flashing scenes with her in my mind, one after another, endlessly."

"Huh—" His eyes were slightly red, and he adjusted his mentality. I bet at least not every employee can hear this secret.

"I sympathize with what happened to you." I felt suffocated as soon as I opened my mouth.

"No, no, I don't need sympathy. I have received enough sympathy in the past few years." He shook his head, "I just want to find someone who can listen."

"why me?"

"Because you are the most suitable." He smiled bitterly.

I suddenly understood that his previous difficulty might be a platform to clearly measure me.

"Then I've let you down."

"No, you're doing fine, and I'm better now." He really managed a relieved smile from his chubby face.

Put the bowls together.

In the kitchen, he does the dishes and I dry them.He tied an apron around my waist to protect my suit.

"Do you know why the others don't?" he said suddenly.

"I don't know." His words were a bit awkward, but I knew what he was talking about.

"Because I let the previous people down."

I seemed to understand something and didn't speak.

There are five bowls in total, and it took only 10 minutes to wash and dry them.

I looked up at the time, it was almost eight o'clock, and it was time to say goodbye.He didn't keep me, and he didn't say he would drive me off, he just said yes.

I was a bit disappointed, probably because I expected too much from him, after all, I am his guest now.

On the tram back home, lying on my bed at home, I was still chewing on his words.I like the feeling of being with him, the kind of man who only knows the biggest secret of his life when he tells him, his trust wraps my whole heart, sonorous and powerful.