There are always students who want to tease me

Yan Hao held Zhang Qiyu's hand and walked through the crowded crowd. He didn't let go until he was sure that he was out of Yu Zexuan's sight, and his steps slowed down.

"Hao, why did you lie to him?" Zhang Qiyu simply stopped and looked at Yan Hao with his arms around his shoulders.

Yan Hao said with a relaxed smile: "My aunt, you can do me a favor. You have kept it from me for so long when you were at home, and it's not bad to lie to him here again."

"It's not impossible to help you lie to him, but you have to tell me why you lie to him, are you... tempted?" Zhang Qiyu's eyes are very serious, she understands what it means if Yan Hao's answer is yes.

"If I said no, would you believe it?" Yan Hao's tone also became heavy, his head was lowered, and his eyes didn't know where to look.

"Admit it if you like it. It's no big deal. Why lie to him so that you're happy? You even kept him with other girls on purpose." Zhang Qiyu took a deep breath secretly.

"I... don't know, what qualifications do people like me have to talk about liking." Yan Hao sighed decadently, he really didn't know, he didn't know what kind of emotion he had for Zexuan.

Emotionally, he is a timid person, accustomed to maintaining the status quo, afraid to take a step outside, afraid of any unexpected changes, at least he will not take the initiative to seek changes, he originally felt that he and Yu Zexuan were ambiguous Chu, but a harmonious and stable life is good, he will not think about the relationship between the two of them, and he will not think about what will develop between them in the future.

But the longer they get along, the closer he is to the day when he will finally make a decision. The whole year of last year was quiet, the calm before the storm. Their relationship was like a volcano about to erupt. The second it erupted, There must be a devastating result, rebirth from the ashes, or dying into ashes, he has half the decision-making power.

He thought that one day, he and Yu Zexuan would pierce this layer of window paper, uncover his own scars little by little, and show the source of his most pain in front of Zexuan, but this process is undoubtedly difficult Yes, he wanted to achieve this result slowly, but fate did not give him such an opportunity, it asked him to make a choice in such a short moment.

If he hadn't experienced what happened in the past, he would really be hot-headed and speak out recklessly, but now he doesn't dare anymore, he is cowardly.Sensitive as he is, he only needs a little bit of suspicion and finds a little bit of obstacles, like a clumsy snail, the whole person retracts into his own small shell.

"Yan Hao, you can't always think about those things in the past. It's not your fault. If, if you really like that person, maybe you can start over." Zhang Qiyu gritted his teeth and said these words of encouragement .

Zhang Qiyu was well aware of what happened to Yan Hao in the past, so he didn't know how to persuade him. They were never lovers, but their childhood sweethearts were true. Her family lived next door to his. She knows every link clearly.

"I'm not thinking about it, but I can't start anything with him either. He's different from me. As you can see, he obviously likes girls. I... can't hurt another person." Yan Hao shook his head.

"Yan Hao, you haven't been so cowardly before. If you like it, you should at least tell him. Don't worry about him being straight. If he thinks he's straight, he's actually crooked. Didn't you talk to him when you were on vacation? Did I say he is very clingy to you? Why haven’t I seen a straight man pestering a crooked man every day?” Zhang Qiyu scolded Yan Hao, on the one hand she hated iron but on the other hand I really feel that Yan Hao has changed, he is no longer the Yan Hao he was back then.

Yan Hao, who was not angry at all after being scolded, still maintained an attitude of admitting death no matter what others said: "As you can see, I am so cowardly, and he doesn't know that I like men. If he knows , Maybe I have been hiding away from me for a long time, don't persuade me, you saw him today, not to mention that elementary school girl, even any woman who said a few words to him can be attracted by him Docile and obedient, go ahead and stand in my position, just looking at him, would you think he is crooked?"

Yu Zexuan's methods of flirting with girls are excellent, years of experience and methods are not unfounded, he can be called a friend of women, even if Zhang Qiyu is firmly on Yan Hao's side, he has to admit that talking to Yu Zexuan is irritating I was very comfortable in my heart, but I still said unforgivingly: "Why don't you think that you are obviously gay in gay."

"Forget it, just do yourself a favor and keep performing with me. I really don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

"How many times have I told you that you did not harm Zhao Jiayan, the two of you clearly love each other, but you still haven't let go of the past at all!" Zhang Qiyu got angry and grabbed Yan Hao's clothes .

Yan Hao was dragged by her and staggered, but after stabilizing, he just gently covered her hand, letting her relax little by little, he didn't know what he should say, and he couldn't say anything, he You know, he really can't let go of the past.

Back then...he made a mistake.

Yan Hao knew that he was gay when he was in junior high school. Children at that age had just understood what love affairs are all about. Of course, Yan Hao also read the things that the boys in the class passed on, but it was different from other people. , he didn't have any reaction to the scenes that would have made the blood of all men spurt.

At the beginning, he was very scared, feeling that he was different from others. He thought he was cold in this regard, and tried many ways until one time he saw the scene of two men on the screen, and at that moment, the strange surge in his body told him , he naturally likes people of the same gender as him.

Yan Hao was actually terrified of his abnormality in his sexuality. No one could easily accept such a fact, and Yan Hao was the same. I kept a safe distance, thinking that in this way I would never be tempted by others, and would not cause unnecessary trouble to myself and others, but the problem was still exposed in the second year of high school.

Yan Hao is very talented in basketball. He joined the school's basketball team when he was a freshman in high school. At that time, their high school basketball team was very strong, and Yan Hao's ability was also very strong. The madness on the court was almost completely Make up for his unknown flaws.

But basketball is not a game for one person after all. In the process of daily training and competition, he couldn’t help but get close to other players. At that time, there were many talents in the basketball team. The first class of players was as good as him, named Zhao Jiayan, and the seniors of the previous class intended to choose one of them to be the captain of the next basketball team.

After all, he was in the freshman year of high school, at the age of high-spirited youth, who refused to admit defeat and dared to compete. Yan Hao was not as introverted as he is now, so he and Zhao Jiayan were compared everywhere, but both of them were students of key classes. They are all on the same level, and they have not been able to compete for half a year. It is because the enemies do not get together, and they have a feeling of sympathy and sympathy.

Later, they were promoted to the second year of high school. The seniors of the previous class were busy with their studies after being promoted to the third year of high school. According to the school's regulations, they had to quit the basketball team completely.

The old captain vacillated between the two, unable to make up his mind, and in the end it was Yan Hao and Zhao Jiayan who competed under the witness of everyone, and it ended with Yan Hao's narrow victory, and the matter was settled.He won the position of captain in this way, and Zhao Jiayan was convinced that he lost, and the two shook hands and made peace.

Yan Hao originally liked men, but he suppressed himself for a long time. It is rare to meet a like-minded and equally excellent man. There is no reason not to be tempted. Look what's good, you can't control what you like.

But Zhao Jiayan is not homosexual in the true sense, and he has to admit that he has special feelings for Yan Hao, and he is always attracted unconsciously. Neither of the two of them pierced this layer of window paper. As long as there is a heart-to-heart connection, if you don't need that, you will have already understood it.

Afterwards, the training of the basketball team became more and more tense. Yan Hao led the team to prepare for the National University League, often training late, and he and Zhao Jiayan spent more and more time together, and the cooperation became more and more There is a tacit understanding, and the ambiguous feelings are getting stronger and stronger. The players in the basketball team can actually see the clues, but everyone has a good relationship, no one speaks out, and there is no discrimination.

What everyone actually thought was that if these two people were a man and a woman, it would be a match made in heaven.

And they themselves thought that this kind of relationship would last forever, and there would always be a day when the clouds and mist could be cleared to see the moon, but waiting for them in the end was indeed a cruel blow from reality.

In the second semester of the second year of high school, the school basketball team reached the finals of the National League. Yan Hao was unwilling to suppress his love for Zhao Jiayan, so he mustered up the courage to ask Zhao Jiayan if they won the championship, would they To determine the relationship of love.

Zhao Jiayan hesitated again and again, and finally agreed shyly and timidly.

As a result, they lived up to expectations and won the championship in one fell swoop. Under the eyes of everyone, they jointly lifted the golden trophy and became the focus of everyone. Of course, Yan Hao was excited about this, and what made him even more excited was that he did not expect such a special person like him. People can also have love, and his love will officially start from this moment.

This is the first time their school has achieved such a result, and the school mercifully gave all their team members a day off. On the night of the celebration day, all the team members were very excited and even drank some wine. He was drunk like mud, but he never forgot the agreement with Zhao Jiayan. He quietly held Zhao Jiayan's hand in a place under the table where he couldn't see it.

After the celebration banquet was over, Yan Hao was so drunk that he could hardly find his way. He had to be supported when he walked, so the task of sending him home naturally fell on Zhao Jiayan.He supported him and didn't take a taxi. The two of them held each other's hands tightly, sweaty palms, but neither of them let go, just kept walking like this.

I don't know how long they walked, but they finally arrived at the downstairs of Yan Hao's house. The street lamps in the community were dimly lit, and the summer night wind swept the heat that could not be dissipated in the night. Knowing that Zhi Zhi was singing tirelessly, the air was filled with With the smell of alcohol, mixed with the unique smell of sweat of teenagers, and containing the undercurrent of surging hormones, they looked at each other silently, and got closer and closer.

People say Jiu Zhuang is cowardly, finally, Yan Hao used Jiu Jin to say the most courageous sentence he had in more than ten years, he said: "Jiayan, I like you."

Then he pressed Zhao Jiayan against the lamppost and kissed him hard on the lips.

At that time, it was a very jerky kiss, soft touch, moist lips and teeth, he boldly began to explore slowly, Zhao Jiayan also relaxed from the initial stiffness, and he hugged him back while the two were breathing passionately. .

Everything is so natural, as if a matter of course, neither a man nor a woman has any meaning in front of love.But at such a critical moment, they interrupted with an exclamation.

Yan Hao's parents planned to come out to look for him because Yan Hao hadn't come home so late, but they witnessed the scene of the two kissing together before they left the gate of the community. Yan Hao's mother was not in good health. Weak, I couldn't accept it at that time and passed out.

Yan Hao's parents are both university professors, high-level intellectuals, but they are also old-fashioned pedants. They can't accept their son's sexual orientation at all, so they went to the school the next day to apply for transfer.

And Zhao Jiayan couldn't bear the stimulation of being seen by his parents, so he didn't come to school the next day, and then took a week off. The people who don't know the truth don't know why the person who just made great contributions to the school Why did one of the two transfer schools immediately, and the other didn't show up at school for several days, so many speculations flew out, and I don't know who missed the news that their homosexuality was broken, and rumors spread all of a sudden, and became a teacher The laughing stock of students after dinner.

The two young and inert parties could not bear such consequences at all. Since then, Zhao Jiayan never contacted Yan Hao, and Yan Hao never contacted Zhao Jiayan again.

And Zhang Qiyu, who was Yan Hao's childhood sweetheart, was very close to Zhao Jiayan's class at the time. After Yan Hao transferred to another school, she witnessed how Zhao Jiayan suffered from those flying eyes. I guessed one or two in the evasive concealment.

The youthful feelings in his youth only ended in such a chaotic ending, and Yan Hao always felt guilty. If it wasn't for his audacity, if it wasn't for his inability to hide his admiration for Zhao Jiayan, then Zhao Jiayan might be able to act as a normal girl. People who like girls, live a normal life, and don't suffer from rumors and public opinion.

After the incident, he was forced to transfer to another school, but Zhao Jiayan couldn't transfer to another school due to various reasons in his family. He didn't even have a chance to escape, so he could only bear all this passively. He dared to look for him, so he clearly knew that he was wrong, but he couldn't do anything to change the status quo. Until later, he and Zhao Jiayan both graduated, and he never heard from him again.

As for Yan Hao's parents, the two old people are actually middle-aged children, and now they are getting older, and their health is deteriorating, and they can't bear this kind of stimulation. The old people want to save face, claiming that Yan Hao will return to normal People would rather not recognize this son.In order to keep his parents from worrying about this matter, Yan Hao begged Zhang Qiyu to play his girlfriend, and Zhang Qiyu agreed, and the performance would last for four years.

And the whole incident is the reason why Yan Hao no longer wants to play basketball, and also the reason why he refuses to reveal his heart to Yu Zexuan. It can be regarded as a lesson from the past, and he never dares to take it lightly. He never dared to say that he loved anyone, he was afraid that his liking would be too heavy and not everyone could bear it.

Whenever he wants to go further with Yu Zexuan, there is a voice in his heart telling him that he can't be selfish anymore, can't make such mistakes again, and can't let others be a good straight man to bear it because of his love. The damage they didn't have to suffer.

Therefore, even if there is any ambiguity between him and Yu Zexuan, or any traceable possibility, from now on, it will probably be strangled in the cradle.