dance like a butterfly

I don't know how I got out of the hospital. I just remember bumping a little nurse into a stagger. I didn't even apologize, and walked forward in panic.I don't know how she cursed me behind her back.

I didn't know how to get in a taxi. People asked me where to go, and I seemed to say: Yuxiangmen.

When I got to Yuxiangmen, I got off the bus, and the driver shouted: I need money from you, it’s 38 yuan.

I walked straight forward, and a person behind me grabbed me.Turning around, it was the driver. He stuffed the money into my pocket, and said, "Brother, it's dangerous for you to drift alone on the street at night. Go home."

I brushed off his arm and said nothing.

The driver muttered: It looks like a mental illness.

Hundreds of people gathered under the high relief sculptures in Yuxiangmen Square, all of whom sang passionately.

I also squeezed in, which is the unique "Passion Square" in Xi'an at night.

Thousands of miles (that) thunder yao~

Lightning

The strength of our revolution is growing

I also opened my throat and sang tearfully.Strangely, it made a discordant howl without emotion like killing a pig.The people next to me stopped and looked at me with surprised eyes.

I had no choice but to push aside the crowd and head east.

After passing the moat, I walked towards the North Ring Park.

Passing through the classical archway, along the moat, there are bamboo forests whirling in the wind on both sides. Going forward, there is a low pomegranate forest. Further forward, there is a rockery. Sit on the stone railing of the gazebo and start smoking.

When passing through the bamboo grove and pomegranate grove just now, I came across a pair of wild mandarin ducks from time to time, and then I remembered that I saw it on the Internet before, and this is one of the most famous gathering spots for gays in Xi'an.From Yuxiang Gate to Xuanwu Gate, until Saturday, it was almost like going to a temple fair. More than 1000 people came and went in and out of the forest.And there are people of all identities, migrant workers, students, businessmen, up to cultural people, and even policemen and civil servants in plain clothes, a mixed bag of good and bad people.

I can't figure out what day of the week it is. The street lamps on the other side of the road swayed through the mottled shadows of trees. In the woods, shadowy, couples of comrades embraced each other, some stood apart and chatted, some embraced and kissed, Some are crooked and superimposed on the tree, in various poses and with different expressions.

I suddenly remembered that some time ago, the "Hua Shang Bao" said that someone died in the pomegranate grove, hanging from a tree, and the truth of the death was unknown.There are also people who drowned in the moat, as if they were kicked down.

I laughed, a laugh that even made me feel miserable.

I wish someone would kill me right now.If you really die, you won't think about anything in the future.

I have a home and can't go back, and I like someone but I was kicked out, so what else do I live for?

I thought, if there is a person who comes forward to take me away now, I will definitely go with him, even if he is a beggar who smells like hell.

I want to ruin myself, I want to anesthetize myself, I want to destroy myself.

Just as I was thinking, a person came to me; "What time is it, brother?"

He asked with a smile, and took advantage of the situation to sit next to me. I noticed that he was about the same age as me, and he was a wonderful person in spirit, but he had some mothers.

He put his hands on my shoulders, put his head down, and leaned closer to my face, trying to see my face clearly. After reading it, he exclaimed exaggeratedly; Handsome brother, let's go to Bar 21 for a drink."

Then come grab my arm.

I’ve heard of Bar 21. It’s a very famous gay bar in Xi’an. I’ve heard that there are campsites, Tianyue Palace, etc. in bars like this.

Before I could speak, the phone rang. I saw it was from Lao Han, but I didn't answer it.

At this time, what am I still picking it up for?

The phone rang endlessly, and again, it was still Lao Han.

I don't know why, but now I feel a perverted joy in my heart. The more Lao Han calls, the less I answer, the more satisfied I feel.

The person on the opposite side touched my hand and said, "Your bf must have called you. Why don't you answer it? It's fine if you don't answer it. Give him some flair and don't dare to underestimate you next time. You are such a top quality person." A handsome guy doesn't know how to cherish it, does he still have eyesight?"

His words made my vanity extremely satisfied and inflated, and the previous arrogance and superiority quickly returned.

I said, "What do you do for work?"

He said: "I'm not kidding you, I'm an actor, I sing Xiaosheng." He chuckled softly, with a strong sense of performance, "I never told the truth to people in this place before, today, I will only tell you By the way, how about you, can you make a friend?"

Before I could speak, the phone rang again, and I didn't want to answer it, so the person said, "If you want to answer it now, you should scold him and show your temperament!"

I don't want to listen to his strategy, I'm afraid that if someone else calls, it will be hard to say if the business is delayed.

This time it was an unfamiliar call. As soon as I answered the call and said hello, the other party said in a rough voice; "Xiaohui, I am Zhang Wenqing. Old Han has arrived at your door. Worry him to death. One is not enough, come one more, what are you doing? "Three Opposites"? Come back quickly, I order you in the name of Lao Han's family!"

"Three Opposites" is a play in "The Case of Guillotine Beauty". It tells the wonderful scene of Qin Xianglian and the princess fighting for Chen Shimei with infinite wit.

Hehe, what do you mean in the name of the old Han family?Does it mean that you are Lao Han's family, or that I am already Lao Han's family and should stand on Lao Han's side?

I said casually; "I'm at Xiaobeimen, and I won't go back. From now on, who wants to go with him anyway? Listen carefully, I don't know Lao Han, who is Lao Han? I want to be happy with my friend." Go. If you force me again, wait until tomorrow to collect my body in the moat!"

After finishing speaking, I smiled slightly.

That kind of laughter, like a ghost from hell, even scared me when I heard it.

When I hung up the phone, I found that although I didn't cry, I was already in tears.

It's really not that I'm trying to escape.

I can imagine what will happen when I go back now, and the facts will be no different from what I imagined.Sometimes, I have a slight illusion that even though I was not there, everything that happened at that time was not a little different from what I saw when I was there, and there would be no difference.

Zhang Wenqing will not lie to me now, Lao Han must have felt that he was a bit too much after I left, so he quickly took a taxi and chased me all the way to my door.

Lao Han saw my locked door at the door and knocked and knocked to make sure that I was not at home.

And Zhang Wenqing had already helped Lao Zuo, who was drunk and kept calling my name, into his room. When Lao Han failed to call me repeatedly, he dialed my number, and then asked me to go back with a stern voice. After all, here The main character is me.

I can almost see Lao Zuo's drunken state, and I can also see Lao Han's complicated facial expressions when he saw Lao Zuo.

I almost knew the embarrassment and grief that Zhang Wenqing and Lao Han felt when they looked at each other.

God, this kind of scene makes me feel at a loss.Sympathy for Lao Zuo is equivalent to Lao Zuo standing on the edge of a cliff, and I gently pushed him again.Lao Han will definitely think that I am a super emotional liar.If he was on Lao Han's side, he might as well kill Lao Zuo with a knife.Lao Zuo is not mean to me, why should I hurt him again?

God, what did I do in my previous life that you put me in such a dilemma?

Let him go, go as you like, I don’t even know where to find my soul now, I am powerless to solve this problem, time will dilute everything, maybe, come back after a long time, things are different, When everyone calms down, Moran will see the dark willows and bright flowers.

I smiled at the person opposite and said, "How can I be sure that you are a good person?"

They are all smart people. When he heard this, he was happy.He said, if you don't believe it, I will open the "Voice of Qin" on the computer in the future to call out the fans of Jinze.

With that said, he told me a project.

Judging by his serious look, I don't think there will be any fakes.

His sincerity made me feel embarrassed, he must have been lingering here for a long time, today he thought he finally caught a big fish, his eagerness made me feel a little satisfied with myself.

He kept holding my hand as we walked out of this part of the path around the park.

Outside the Peace Gate, the taxi dropped us off.

I never let him hold my hand again.I'm really not used to being close to two men on the street.Arrogant hypocrisy often jumps out to accuse my emotional side, and I don't want people to point fingers, I don't want people to say that I am a homosexual.

Bar 21 is located in the basement of a small alley that is not very prosperous.

This also fulfills the old saying that the fragrance of wine is not afraid of the depth of the alley.

I really can't imagine that in such a back alley, there is such a well-known gay bar in Xi'an and even in the whole country.

The bar was full of people, all male compatriots.

The bar is not very big, with a long bar counter and a wide variety of wines on the cabinets.

In the center of the venue, there is also a semi-circular bar.In the center is a small stage for performances.

Started drinking, bottle after bottle, I drank beer.

The atmosphere here is very warm, the revolving lights on the stage are very dazzling, several new humans are dancing hip-hop, three boys and one girl (maybe they are reversed), very dynamic and working hard.

The next thing is the reverse singing and dancing, the show is very devoted.The following skits still received cheers and applause one after another.I didn't hear what they were saying.

Sudden urge to urinate, looking down, there were already eight empty wine bottles in front of him.

The guy who came with me seemed to be called Hao. I patted him on the shoulder and waited for him to make a WC gesture. He pointed me in the direction, and immediately he was immersed in his performance and couldn't take his eyes off.

In the bathroom, the phone rang again, but this time it was a text message.

Looking again, there are 18 missed calls, including those from Lao Zuo, Lao Han, and Zhang Wenqing.

I really know now that the world is in chaos because of me.

Zhang Wenqing's text message said that he and Lao Han searched all the corners in Yuxiang Gate, but they didn't see me, and asked me to call back immediately.He said that Lao Zuo had become more sober, and was so anxious that he wanted to jump the moat for fear of accidents. Now he left Lao Zuo at home, and was looking for me aimlessly on the street with Lao Han.

Just after reading this text message, Zhang Wenqing's message came again: Xiaohui, don't be self-willed and angry, come back quickly, and call back to tell you where you are, Lao Han is about to jump the moat, and he said he will go down to catch you.

I laughed.

Not that I feel triumphant.Zhang Wenqing's short message is exaggerated.

hypocritical!I couldn't help but cursed.

With a smile on my face, I pretended nothing had happened and continued drinking.

I don't know how I got drunk.

The next day, when I woke up, that Howe was looking at me with wide-eyed eyes.Looking at himself again, he was naked.I touched it unconsciously with my hand, thank God, fortunately, my virginity is still there.

My head still hurts, and I feel dizzy.

where is thisI asked.

Hao smiled and said, "In a hotel, I don't have a home either. It's a house rented by several people, so it's inconvenient to take you back. Besides, if you take a top-notch man like you back, there are more wolves and less meat. How can it be my turn to share?" A piece of soup. Haha, I'm sorry, I don't have enough money, I took [-] out of your pocket, and paid for the wine and the room."

I said; "Should, should."

I don't care about these little money, but I am still grateful to Hao, he is not a bad person, otherwise, I don't know whether he was raped or killed.

You didn't lick me, did you?I asked him with a hippie smile, but my heart was full of cherry blossoms.

Howe handed me my mobile phone, "I was so annoying last night, your phone never stopped, either text messages or phone calls, I couldn't take it anymore, I was going crazy, so I just turned it off, look at it now, don't miss it Your business."

I can't tell that Howe is still a careful person.

After turning on the phone, a flood of messages from Zhang Wenqing was sent over.

I put the phone aside, let him jingle, let him live like a summer flower.