dance like a butterfly

This is not true!

This must not be true! !

There is absolutely no way this could be true! ! !

This is just a dream, just one of countless nightmares since I met Lao Han, this is 100% just a dream.Only in a dream can I see Lao Han lying in a pool of blood and I can't help him. Only the scene in the dream can be so realistic and clear, only the things in the dream can change so rapidly, and only after the dream can everything be so real. Become so quiet, only after a dream can everything be so silent!

This is not true!

This is definitely not true! !

There is absolutely no way this could be true! ! !

It must be that I am too tired, it must be that my hearing and vision are all delusional, it must be that my mind broke down while Lao Han was driving in a trance, it must be that I am so bored and have nothing to do to conceive a novel, This must be a plot in the novel, and I must have mistakenly imagined one of the protagonists as Lao Han.In other words, I am not on the Xitong Expressway at all, and I am not at the first day of the new year at all.I must be sleeping soundly nestled in Lao Han's arms one night, or rather, we are on a sunny May morning when the birds are chirping and we are wandering side by side at the sleepy turn of spring and summer On a certain flower path in the forest.In other words, I was drunk one day, because Lao Han gave me too much happiness, but I was just a little worried about him and had a nightmare unintentionally.

It is said that the fleeting time is too safe and sound, and it is said that happiness always needs to be frightened to set off its splendor.Therefore, the good years are only for me to continue to be grateful for the warmth of Lao Han's love in the future, and to make me feel some tremors all the time, and also to make me cherish Lao Han even more in the future, and to make me imagine this in front of my eyes at this moment. What a sight!

This evening is not real!

This highway is not real!

It's not true that Lao Han fell into a pool of blood without saying a word!

It's not true that the old left drove over and rushed out of the car to pick up Lao Han!

Lao Zuo shouted hoarsely to Lao Han, waving at me frantically, it's not true!

Lao Zuo took out his mobile phone and dialed 120, which is not true!

Lao Han was lying softly in Lao Zuo's arms, and the blood staining Lao Zuo's underwear was not true!

It's not true that Lao Zuo let go of Lao Han and frantically shook the Audi's door to let me out!

A police car stopped, and two policemen squatted down to check Lao Han, stood up and asked Lao Zuo a few words, and then started making calls, which was not true!

A policeman saw a key not far from the ground, picked it up, opened our car door, and shook Haohao who was stunned. Haohao was still motionless like a puppet, which was not true!

I rushed down, snatched Lao Han from Lao Zuo's arms, hugged him and rushed forward, but was blocked by Lao Zuo and the police, and shouted to get in the car, this is not true!

Got into the police car and rushed to Weinan People's Hospital. The doctor looked at Lao Han's eyelids, listened to his heartbeat, and shook his head at us. All of this is not true!

Pressing against Lao Han's increasingly cold face, and desperately hugging Lao Han's increasingly cold body, my legs softened in panic, I don't know about personnel, all of this, all of this is not true! ! !

Lao Han left his Mei Mei, his Haohao, left a big mess and left without explaining a single word. There is no way in the world that such a sudden stop can happen!

Lao Han left without saying a word to me, which is completely impossible!

On the top of Qinghua Mountain, I tied the concentric knot with Lao Han and hung the concentric lock together. We prayed for the blessing of Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva, and they will bless us until we grow old.Can God take away my lover so cruelly?

impossible!

impossible! !

impossible! ! !

I made a wish for Lao Han in Xiangji Temple, and prayed devoutly for Lao Han in front of the Buddha. Can God be so ignorant to watch Lao Han fall on the icy road?

This is impossible!

This is impossible! !

This is simply impossible! ! !

Today, Lao Han just burned high incense for us in Huayue Temple, and he also worshiped the Holy Mother of God, who is all efficacious. God just watched me dumbfounded and desperately watching Lao Han leave without saying a word under his nose?

how can that be!

how can that be! !

How can this be impossible! ! !

I can't accept this fact anyway!

cannot! !

cannot! ! !

Old Lin is here.

Chen Hanzhang is here.

The second brother and the second sister-in-law are also here.

Meimei is here.

Lao Han's brothers also came.

People from the village committee came.

Lao Han's close relatives have come one by one these days.

Under Chen Hanzhang's help, the police began to perform routine duties.They asked me what, I just knew I was talking, what I said, I didn't know.

What Lao Lin comforted me, I didn't listen to a word.

I wanted to rush into the morgue again and again, trying to hold Lao Han tightly in my arms, but every time someone dragged me back and saw me go crazy, as if my second brother and second sister-in-law were crying.

Lao Zuo stayed by my side steadfastly, never leaving a single step.

On the day I went to Sanzhao to cremate Lao Han, I rushed to the hearse desperately.

I don't care what passers-by and people present think of me.However, I was still blocked.I couldn't take another step forward, and one of Lao Han's people seemed to kick me hard from behind. Even though my second brother and Lao Zuo supported me, I was kicked down.

For several days, I didn't have any water or rice.

I seem to hear Lao Zuo crying and saying, "Xiaohui, don't do this. Lao Han is gone. It's a fact. Don't do this again. It's not just you, everyone is sad. You have to cheer up, Haohao still We have to take care of it together."

Haohao was dressed in filial piety, holding a white paper streamer in his hand, with no expression on his face, supported by two uncles, sitting next to Lao Han's coffin in the truck.

Meimei cried to death.

I wanted to follow Lao Han's coffin, and I wanted to jump into the raging fire when Lao Han was being carried into the cremation furnace, but being dragged by a group of people I knew and I didn't know, I couldn't even get the hearse None of them could go up.

Seeing Lao Han's hearse getting farther and farther away, I couldn't see the last side of my lover, thinking that I would not even be able to see my lover for the last ride, I was heartbroken, and could only utter a hoarse voice. Howling, "Brother, brother——, my brother——"

I don't know if Lao Han can hear my screams on the hearse that is slowly driving into the cold wind.

I also don't know if there is a Wangxiang Terrace in this world.If Lao Han can really climb the legendary Wangxiangtai, will he listen to this inaudible voice, and will he look at me, an invisible person?

I don't know if there is a white crane flying over slowly to pick up my lover to a heaven where there is no grievance and only peace, and I don't know if my lover will keep looking back at me when he is flying to heaven .

On the tenth day of the first lunar month, Lao Han was buried.

I can't cry a single tear anymore, if there are any tears, they should be tears of my blood, falling drop by drop on this mortal world.

Without Lao Han, the world has been frozen forever.

That living person who once gave me endless warmth suddenly turned into a box of ashes and buried in the ground, how could it not be heartbreaking.

Life without Lao Han is superfluous to me.

I think about it every moment, thinking that Lao Han would suddenly stand behind me when I was in a daze, and suddenly stretch out his arms to embrace me.When I was in a daze, I would often have a sudden jerk.

I think it's Lao Han who patted me on the shoulder.

When I turned around to look, there was nothing.

On the morning of the twelfth day of the first lunar month, Lao Han's elder brother suddenly came to see me.Coming with him was a very refined young man in formal attire and glasses.

The man sat on the sofa opposite me and said, "Your real name is Hong Xiaojun, isn't it?"

I nodded numbly.

He said, "According to this Mr. Han, the ownership of this house does not belong to you. If you have any objection, please show your valid certificate."

He pointed to Lao Han's eldest brother.

I barely pulled myself together.

In my impression, Lao Han bought this house in my name.

I can't remember where the real estate certificate is.

It seems that a few days ago, my second elder brother and second sister-in-law wanted to take me back to Hua County, but I refused.No matter what they said, I just kept shaking my head and I didn't say anything.It seemed that they delayed for another day, and after exhorting and exhorting Lao Zuo, they reluctantly went back.Now, only Lao Zuo is by my side.

Lao Zuo wanted to say something, but I pressed my hand on his arm.

Now that Lao Han is gone, it really doesn't make sense for me to stay here.

"As long as someone takes care of Haohao, I will leave soon." I smiled.

I haven't laughed for a long time. It turns out that it is so difficult to laugh.

I don't know why, but I haven't seen Haohao for several days.

"Don't worry, I'm his uncle. I have the right of custody and the obligation to take good care of the child." Old Han's elder brother said coldly, and he added, "If you have nothing else to do, please pack your things. Leave in two days."

I laughed again. As soon as people leave, the tea will be cold. This is the correct way to change human relationships.

Lao Zuo finally couldn't help but said, "That's not the case. This house belongs to Xiaohui, oh no, it belongs to Hong Xiaojun. He has a real estate certificate, and I'm sure he has it."

"What's the matter with you here? Who do you think you are? To tell you the truth, even if there is a real estate certificate, it can't prove that he bought the house himself. It's no wonder that my brother didn't buy it for him! He If you have a conscience, you should return this house to my nephew. The child is still young, and there will be more places to spend money in the future. My brother spent all his belongings for the election. Now people go to the money, and you let the child go later. Drink the northwest wind?"

Lao Han's eldest brother was so angry that he almost yelled at Lao Zuo.

Lao Zuo still wanted to say something, so I quickly stopped Lao Zuo and said to Brother Han, "Brother, don't worry. I will transfer this house to Haohao’s name. In addition, I will give everything left by Lao Han to Haohao. This is the key to the house, so you can take it with you.”

I took the key off and handed it to him.

There is also a house in Tianshui, which was also bought by Lao Han.At the beginning, Lao Han said that he would live with me in Tianshui for the elderly, but now things have changed, and it is useless to keep it.

Brother Old Han took the key, and said calmly, "That's the best. You'd better think about how good Old Han was to you before, and how pitiful this child Haohao is now. If I find out that you have entrainment and reservations, don't blame me for being unkind!"

After finishing speaking, he gave the young man a wink and turned to go out.

When he came to the door, he turned around and said, "I'll come over here tomorrow to change the lock."

Lao Zuo stood up and stomped his feet, "This is too bullying! No one is greedy for your things, so can't you delay for two days?".

I smiled quietly and said, "Brother, it's nothing, this is not mine. I have nothing. I have to trouble you, pack two clothes for me, and I will leave after dark."

"Where do you want to go? Well, it seems that you have to go back to Yuxiang Gate with me. Don't go anywhere, don't worry, in this city of Xi'an, as long as I have a meal and a piece of clothing Wear it, and you won't starve and freeze."

Yuxiang Gate?I escaped from the old Zuo's arms at Yuxiang Gate, and now I am going back to Yuxiang Gate. What kind of irony is this? !

Lao Zuo went out to pack his things, and I wondered why Haohao and Meimei hadn't been seen these days.

I called Meimei. After a long time, Meimei answered the phone. She sobbed and answered in a low voice.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly.

"Okay, fourth dad, you have to take care of yourself." She finally burst into tears.

"Don't cry, Meimei. Fourth dad asks you, is Haohao okay?"

"He's fine, too. He's much better than a few days ago. Don't worry, he's fine."

"If you have anything to do in the future, just call me and come to Yuxiang Gate to find me."

"What?" Meme said in surprise.

"I'm leaving. I can't live here forever."

After a while, Meimei said, "Then, Fourth Dad, take care of yourself and come to see us when you have time."

After hanging up the phone, I leaned on the head of the bed in a daze, not knowing why.

Lao Zuo came over with some documents and a box and said, "Look, this is the property certificate of the house. There are also several personal accident insurance policies of Lao Han, one of which is the beneficiary of you, and the amount of compensation is quite considerable .There is also a gift box, I looked, and there are two jade ring fingers in it, I remember, it seems that you had one before."

Yes, the box was opened, and inside were two exquisitely carved emerald green jade fingers.

I said to Lao Zuo, "I have to keep this jade ring finger, and leave the rest to the children. I'll come over another day to go through the formalities."

Old Zuo sighed deeply.

I put the file in a conspicuous place in the living room, and stood up unsteadily.

Lao Zuo helped me out the door.

Behind him, the anti-theft door automatically closed with a bang.

When I got out of the building, Lao Zuo asked me to lean against the stone in the flower bed at the door, and he went to the underground garage to pick up the car.

The freezing winter cold at night made me shiver.

It was not yet the fifteenth day of the first lunar month, and in the western sky, a cold moon was not yet fully round, and the vast sky was strangely empty.

Looking back at the Yaxin Garden where I have lived for more than two years, looking back at the window that once showed warm light, it is now dark, I dare not think of Lao Han, my dry eye sockets were wet with tears again, unconsciously, I knelt down , holding his head in his arms, trembling all over.