dance like a butterfly

My name is not Xiaohui, I really am not called Xiaohui!My name is Hong Xiaojun. When my parents gave birth to me, I only have such a name, and I will only have this name in my whole life!

But I really don't know how to explain it to Haohao—why so many people call me Xiaohui again!

I was stunned.

To be precise, Haohao was still a child, a teenager in his teens.His heart is as pure as a wave of tranquil lake water, as bright as transparent air.I know that even a small pebble stained with mud will be thrown into the lake, and after the ripples are gone, there will be filth left in his water waves, and no matter what kind of dark cloud drifts by, his world will leave a shadow Mark of.

I don't know what makes this child so attached to my "fourth uncle" who has no blood relationship. I don't know why he trusts me so much. Looking into his shining eyes, all of a sudden, I don't know How to answer him, for a moment, all the hustle and bustle around me seemed to be far away from me, and there was only a huge question mark in the child's heart in front of me.

After searching and deliberating, I couldn't get an answer.It may be that the love that Lao Han gave me was too sweet, which made my brain dull. The more I wanted to find out the answer, the farther the answer was from me, so I stopped looking for it. with me.

All of a sudden, many photos in my heart were flipping back, and the past began to retreat rapidly.I was asking myself when was the first time I called my name Xiaohui to others, and I was wondering when was the first time someone called me Xiaohui, thinking about it, I seemed to see Guo Jingqi's black and red face, I saw him pacing back and forth in the hospital ward with gauze wrapped around his head.Suddenly I saw Lao Zuo, I saw Lao Zuo wearing sunglasses for the first time, looking back and forth under the station sign of Diaojia Village on Wenyi Road, I saw him stand in the snow and help me turn up my collar, I saw him refuse to Hug me tightly, and let the car I was sitting in disappear into the twilight with flying snowflakes.I also saw Hao, saw his ghostly shadow on the dance floor, and saw how old Han kicked him and listened to his screams.

One after another the figures became smaller, bigger, bigger and smaller again. They changed their faces, voices and accents, and shouted at me: "Xiaohui! Xiaohui! Xiaohui! Xiaohui! Xiaohui! Xiaohui!" ! Xiaohui! Xiaohui..."

Suddenly, I felt a splitting headache, and I couldn't help squatting down and hugging my head tightly.

Under the kindness of Boss Wang, I originally wanted to offer a stick of incense to Aunt Wang, bow to her a few times, and give her a gift of [-] yuan, and then sit down for a while. , but, Haohao, a question that others seem to be innocuous, I was so rude and gaffe that I couldn't distinguish things.

I don't know who pulled me up and sat me on a stool.I just felt that the crowd around me was a bit chaotic, many people gathered around, their faces were smiling at first, then a little dazed, and then a little panicked.I want to say it's okay, I'm fine, but I opened my mouth a few times and I didn't say anything, as if Haohao kept shaking my arm and there were tears on my face.It seemed that a familiar face hadn't removed its makeup yet, calling someone's name, stretching out its palm and swaying it in front of me, as if my eyelids hadn't blinked.

I feel that the second brother is here, the elder brother is here, the second sister-in-law and the elder sister-in-law are all here.It seemed that the second sister-in-law helped me onto the back of the second brother, and it didn't take long for me to lie on the kang in my hut.

I'm wide awake, I just can't talk.A large group of people surrounded my small room with water.Dad also came over at some time, his face was covered with old tears, Xiao Haohao grabbed my arm and didn't let go, until the doctors from the village and the town came one after another and they didn't let me go.

After drinking water and taking medicine, the second sister-in-law and elder sister-in-law stayed with Dad in the outhouse, and Dad was still sobbing and crying in the outhouse.

I know that my dad is afraid that I will have something wrong.

I laughed myself first, knowing I wouldn't.

Haohao was the first to notice that I laughed, even though I laughed silently.

"Fourth Uncle laughed! Fourth Uncle laughed!"

I know, I have to give Haohao a smile first.The child is still young, it would be bad to scare him, and it would be even worse if he told Lao Han that I was dying.It's the first time I've grown up like this.Haohao, really, my fourth uncle has always been in good health. When he was in college, he even played left back on the football team.

I want to say this to Haohao, but I feel my tongue is still a little straight.Fortunately, I can make a sound, because I can already hear myself talking.

The second sister-in-law came over: "His third dad, don't say anything, you should take a good rest now. The doctor said, you just have some neurasthenia, take a rest, take some medicine, and you will be fine tomorrow morning."

I looked at my second sister-in-law and smiled at her.

The second sister-in-law also smiled: "Look, the doctor is right, take the medicine and you will be fine tomorrow."

Seeing me staring at Haohao, the second sister-in-law said again: "I told the child not to tell Brother Han, don't worry."

Those who know me, except for the second sister-in-law, there is no one now.

The second sister-in-law made me feel at ease.I need to take the medicine quickly, I'll be fine tomorrow.I can't be seen by Lao Han when I'm sick, and I can't make him worry.

After taking the medicine, the people in the house dispersed one after another. Dad came in twice, but was persuaded by his brothers and sisters-in-law to go out, and lay down on the kang in the outhouse, and the second brother accompanied him on the kang.

Suddenly, there were footsteps outside the house, and I thought it was him.

"Is he all right? I want to see him. We knew each other in town."

"Haha, our youngest really knows a lot of people in the city." This was the voice of the elder brother. "It's better now, but let's see it tomorrow. He's already asleep."

Haohao was lying next to me, keeping close to me and refusing to doze off, although I knew he was dozing off to death.Hearing people talking outside, he whispered, "Fourth Uncle, that opera singer who was also very nervous about you just now is here."

I smiled at Haohao again.

Tonight I laughed so much I looked like a fool.

"My performance here is over, and I will go back in a while, and I will be busy with the performance of the Shaanxi TV Opera Spring Festival Gala. I just take a look at him and leave after watching."

Howe is very sincere and persistent.

"Okay then, hurry up." My elder brother was still very soft-hearted.

Howe does not belong to my real Wushan people, we are just the kind of people who have crossed the same boat with one intention and one intention.I've hurt him, and I've felt guilty about it, and though he reminds me from time to time that he's not what he used to be, I'm done with him.

The eldest brother turned back and accompanied Hao in.

Seeing that I was not asleep, I still opened my eyes and saw him coming in, smiling slightly and not speaking, he smiled at the beginning, seeing that I didn't speak, just smiled at him, he tugged at the clothes on my shoulders, "You..." As soon as the words came out, he suddenly choked up.

His Adam's apple was lifted for a long time before it slowly returned to its position. I could hear the sound of his Adam's apple wriggling. Suddenly his tears slid down and dripped on his arm, which was still holding my shoulder.

How fat.Perhaps because of the much better nutrition, Hao's face is more rounded than before.As an opera actor, I know that a big face and a round face are easier to put on makeup and are more suitable for stage requirements. I hope that Hao’s previous impression of me can also change. I live in this world. For some people, it is another kind of crime. .

Maybe Howe saw the scars on my face, although I've been taking care of them less conspicuously for a while.

Howe finally let go.

"Take care of it. I heard that you are doing well. I wish you all the best, everything."

Howe repeated two words.Seeing that I was still smiling at him, his tears finally flowed completely.He didn't even say anything, didn't see any more words, and went on his own.

Seeing him walking away, the elder brother said: "This man is really strange, a big man, why is he chirping like a woman?"

I joked in my heart, brother, your brother also often chirps about his mother-in-law.

The elder brother took a look at me, came over to tuck the quilt up for me and Haohao, and asked me if I still drank water. He shook his head, sighed, turned off the light, and didn’t go back to his own house. He just pulled up a stool and sat in the outer room keep watch.

The room is not very dark, and the afterglow of the incandescent light bulb in the outer room is evenly scattered in through the crack of the door.The curtains are not drawn tightly, and the snow light in the courtyard adds a little light through the glass windows. This light and space are really great for me.

Haohao is like a cat, she really wants to cling to me, but she is afraid of snuggling me, so she just lies beside me.I think I must have scared the kids today.When the second sister-in-law asked him to sleep with my father on the big kang outside, he refused to die. He yelled: "I want to sleep with the fourth uncle, or let me go back to Xi'an!"

I know I have a good life.When Lao Han was around, Haohao was my sweet burden, but now that Lao Han is not here, Haohao turned out to be my most intimate comfort.

The doctor said I was neurasthenia.I really don't understand, I love Lao Han so deeply, and Lao Han and I live such a fulfilling life, how can I still have a nervous breakdown?

It was late at night, and when I thought about it carefully, I realized that in the shadow that I couldn't find myself, there was something I was afraid of, something I was avoiding, and something I was trying to protect.

I am afraid that Lao Han will abandon me, I am avoiding the veil of other people's unraveling the secret between me and Lao Han, and I always want to protect my only remaining love.

I suddenly felt very tired, so tired that I forgot to breathe and fell asleep.

With my eyes open, I felt very hot in my heart, thinking of going around in the snow, I jumped off the kang.

Jumping off the kang, I was very surprised why I didn't make any sound.Looking back, Kang is much taller than me.I tried harder, and finally put my hands on the edge of the Kang.In the dim light, I saw Haohao leaning against me, the two of us sound asleep.Look at my hands resting on the edge of the kang. I don’t know when, my hands have turned into two fluffy white claws. Looking back, my body is all white, and there is a long thick claw behind me. The tail of the scarf.

It seems that I didn't panic and panic because of my transformation. I didn't need to open the door. When I wanted to come out, I was already in the outer room.

Dad is on this side of the kang, and my second brother is on the other side of the kang. The two of them are already fast asleep with their feet on each other.The eldest brother was wearing a thick military overcoat, with his hands wrapped in the cuffs and his head resting on the sleeves, snoring like thunder.

Thinking about Lao Han in my heart, without even thinking about it, I went out of the house.

The snow particles fell quickly in the yard, and I looked up at the sky, and the snow particles shot into my eyes.Rubbing his eyes, sticking out his pink tongue and licking his face, I want to see what my old Han is doing, I’m not here all day, has he eaten, drank, slept, don’t starve him, he’s freezing he.

With a leap, he was beyond the high wall.I don't look back, I just go forward.

I am amazed that I can run so well.I left behind the big reservoir and poplar grove where I read "Four Zhang Ji". No matter how far I went, I left Huaxian County, Weinan, Lintong, and Baqiao all behind me.

We are almost at Yuxiang Gate.I couldn't help but stop.I don't know why I can't walk anymore.

The moat was flowing secretly, except for the thin ice on the riverside covered with a layer of snow, the river water looked black in the night.Did I stop for this?I think not.

The street lamps stand neatly.I looked up, and the snow particles were no longer so crystal clear and white under the light, they fell like rain, and when they fell on the ground, the color near them was light and the color far away was dark.I guess I'm not here for this.

But why can't I walk when I get here?

I am at a loss on the road.

Suddenly two cars rushed towards me. Before I could see the license plate number clearly, they ran over me as if they didn't see me.Even more strange, I was not crushed into a photo or knocked away.I'm still standing straight where I am.

I look back at my tail, my tail is still bright and lovely.

However, I smelled someone.

I know that the reason why I can't walk is because I should still go to see my elder brother.