dance like a butterfly

After another kilometer, the car will reach the entrance of the expressway.

Lao Han parked the car on the side of the road.

He fumbled in his pocket, took out a pack of "Lotus King", and put it in his mouth, as if he was the only one in the car.

Lao Han doesn't want me anymore!Lao Han doesn't want me anymore!Lao Han doesn't want me anymore! !

I opened my mouth in surprise.

"Brother, what did you say? What did you say just now? Say it again!" I couldn't believe that Lao Han would say such a thing.

All of a sudden, the world doesn't belong to me at all.Outside the window was a world of ice and snow, and my heart seemed to have fallen into a dark ice hole. The surroundings were so slippery that there was no place to hold my hands.I have nothing left but my heart, which keeps falling into the abyss.

Ever since I had my own emotions, a kind of yearning has been piling up in my heart like quicksand.I know that I am building an emotional fortress that is different from the world.Outside the castle, there are fragrant flowers, birds singing, and flowing water. Inside the castle, the Champs Pavilion twists and turns, and the four seasons are like spring.I long for someone who can settle in and feel that it is exactly what I have been looking for in my life. From now on, I will never miss leaving and build a love nest with me.I hope that he and I can laugh at the world of mortals, the rising tide of the sea, and the forests of mulberry fields in the precarious world.

I waited and waited, I hoped and hoped, I searched for him thousands of times in the crowd, and in the dimly lit place, Lao Han rushed to the horse with a strong and powerful wind, making me dizzy and throwing away the old Zuo who lived together in a daze , Standing with him on the most beautiful scenery line, I have made all the preparations, and I will go with him to resist the bitter wind and rain of the world.

But at this moment, Lao Han said: "Let's break up!"

For me, this is not a slap in the face, what is it if it is not a bolt from the blue?

Seeing that the castle in the air that I worked so hard to build in my heart was about to collapse, I realized that I had no strength to support it at all.I also deeply know that it is not myself, but the deeply loved person beside me who can bring reality to my fantasy.

On this road, now I realize that I was originally so weak and so helpless.

I don't want to cry, I tell myself: don't cry!I can't be empty and weak like a discarded garbage bag!I'm going to pretend I don't care!

However, my ridiculous strength only persisted for less than ten seconds, and my tears have already backed my thoughts.It was so crystal clear, petal by petal on my skirt broke into pieces.

Old Han leaned on the back of the chair.The cigarette was in his mouth, but he didn't light it.

The cigarette on his lips was twitching constantly.

Lao Han closed his eyes, and a few round things rolled down from the corners of his eyes, forming a bright line.

I really expected him to say a few words, but I was disappointed.He tightly closed his eyes and mouth, if it wasn't for the cigarette at the corner of his mouth that was still shaking, his posture of leaning on the back of the chair, the weakness and laziness, the decadence after being hit hard, would have completely As if asleep.

I suddenly became a little angry, is this Lao Han?Is that the strong mature man in my heart?I have imagined again and again that only a man like him can lead me out of the fog of emotion, only a man with courage like him can cross the barriers of the world with me. Only he can take a light boat with me and fly over the mountains.Back then Sima Xiangru and Zhuo Wenjun knew about eloping, but my dad just said a few words, you don't care about my feelings, you want to break up with me!

Could it be that we used to rub each other together again and again?

Is the experience of Ningxia and Hubei just a sleepwalking?

Where did the ruthlessness you used to hit Xiaohao back then?That slap on Tian Zhenzhen, several slaps on me, almost falling out with Chen Hanzhang, getting bloody with Guo Jingqi, fighting with old Zuo fist, all for what?

Did you forget what you said at my door?

How do you say it changes?

I was cold and my teeth were chattering.I stared at him in disappointment and resentment, bah, coward!

Opening the door, I jumped out of the car.

Lao Han heard the movement and grabbed me.I staggered back, without looking at him, and walked east on my own.

I will not go back to Xi'an, Xi'an without Lao Han, without the people I love and the people who love me, the city of Xi'an is just a pile of lonely scrap iron in my eyes.

Old Han jumped out of the car: "Stop! What are you doing?"

"You don't care what I do! You don't care!" My stubbornness immediately attached itself to me like a ghost.

"Stop! How old are you? Why are you so virtuous? If you have something to say, why run? Isn't it fun to run for people to see jokes!" Lao Han shouted angrily.

say?What else to say, you don't want me anymore, what else can I say to you?You don't want me anymore, am I still in your car to embarrass myself?I'm going to Huashan!I want to climb Canglong Ridge, and I want to jump off the West Peak, so that I won’t miss this extraordinary emotion in the future, and linger in the cracks of life like this!

Without you, my life would be 1000 years of loneliness!

Without you, I can't bear to miss you so much!

Without you, my life will be an endless night from now on!

Without you, this world is a pile of scrap metal!

Old Han came up to grab me in two steps, dragging me like a thief, gnashing his teeth and dragging me to the side of the car, his eyes were about to burst into flames, he held my shoulders, pushed me hard, and pushed me onto the car.

I felt that he was really pushing, and I completely forgot that the scar on my back was healing.With a tearing pain in my back, I felt a little out of breath.However, this time is no longer the time to think about the wound.The pain in my heart is no longer comparable to the pain in the scar.

I glared at him fiercely, grabbed the car door with my hands, and refused to get in the car.

"You stubborn! Get in the car!"

I retorted: "I'm a Shewazi, how dare I get in other people's car?"

Old Han came to his senses and pulled my hand away. Seeing that I put my hand on the frame of the car again, he came back to pull it again.

Repeatedly, accidentally, his hand touched the wound on my back.I involuntarily let out an "ow".After quickly realizing my gaffe, I bit my lip again and stopped making a sound.

Old Han was startled, and the expression on his face instantly changed from annoyed to distressed: "Damn it, I forgot that your injury is still not healed. Please, my little ancestor, be good, get in the car and talk. Huh?"

With the word "good" from Lao Han, thousands of lines of defense in my heart were defeated.

I saw his anxious and angry look, tenderness in my heart, I really got into the car obediently, and closed the door gently.

When Lao Han got into the car, the cigarette in the corner of his mouth had fallen somewhere.Opening the cigarette case, he put a cigarette in my mouth and lit one himself.Take a long breath and look at me.

"Xiaohui, I hurt you just now, will the wound burst open? Can I let my brother take a look?"

I didn't let him light my cigarette, turned around, turned my face to look at the bleak winter scene outside the car window, and ignored him.

If a person has no goal in life, then he might as well die of pain!

"It's not that I don't love you anymore. You know, I'm used to thinking about you, and I'm used to having you by my side. I can't live without you. But, looking at Uncle's appearance today, and listening to what Uncle said, I feel like It's extremely uncomfortable! Brother feels that if you are not allowed to marry or give birth to a grandson, brother's conscience will not be at peace!"

His voice became weak: "If my son walks on this road, I will not feel at ease. This road is too difficult! Parents have worked so hard to raise their children, and even when they die, they will not even get married. If you can't see it, how does it feel in your heart! However, brother can't accept sharing you with a woman."

What Lao Han said made me feel even more mixed.

I wiped my tears with the back of my hand, thinking: As long as Lao Han is not really disappointed in me, as long as he still has me in his heart, as long as there is a chance for my love, I must fight for it.

"Did I say I was going to get married? That's just your wishful thinking! You're not my dad, you're my brother! My dad forced me to get married, and you followed suit and kicked me away?"

My tears couldn't stop, I almost shouted: "I have two older brothers, they both have sons and daughters. I'm not a child anymore, I've made up my mind a long time ago, I'm not married, I'm sorry to my parents, I got married , I’m not only sorry for the girl, but also for her parents! If I have children and then divorce, wouldn’t I be even more sinful!”

My thinking has no logic, and I can only think of what to say: "You know why I woke up with a burn, no one dared to tell, first call Tian Zhenzhen! Lao Zuo divorced her, I am unforgivable. !He has a lovely baby! I broke a family, I left a child fatherless!"

I couldn't control myself anymore, I twitched and cried loudly: "Brother, I don't want to get married. You can't abandon me so cruelly!"

Lao Han didn't speak, just looked at me blankly.He took the cigarette from his mouth, stretched out his hand to hug me, but suddenly withdrew his hand, the joy that flashed on his face instantly disappeared, and when he raised his hand, the cigarette came into his mouth again.

He looked at the front aimlessly, "But, if this continues, I feel that I am too selfish!"

As soon as I stretched out my hand, I violently pulled out a few facial tissues, wiped my nose and tears.

"You don't want me, and I don't want to marry a woman. I can't live with a woman, and it delays others. If you really don't want me, I will become a monk!"

I didn't frighten him.