blue marshmallow

After dinner we sat on the sofa watching TV, he sat quietly next to me at first, then he took my hand and put it on his lap, drawing circles on my arm intentionally or unintentionally with his fingers .

It's not that I don't understand what he's thinking. To be honest, before I met Ah Zheng, I wasn't an upright gentleman. Of course, an upright gentleman doesn't always behave like jade now. At that time, I was at the young age, and I just knew myself. Identity, a magical and exciting world opened the door to me, can I not play a game and try it?

When the urge comes up, I will also go to make an appointment with someone to open a room, but my requirements are relatively high, and it is rare to find people who meet my conditions. Clearly divided into "1" and "0", just do what you like, but I haven't played multiplayer games, so I'm relatively "pure" in that respect!

So I figured now that I've come here and promised to try to accept him, I don't need to be twitchy like a bitch, just pretend I'm lonely and find a company to play with, "Don't tonight Let's go." I said quietly while watching the TV.

His hand on my arm stopped, I waited for a while and turned to look at him when he didn't move, he was looking at my hand in a daze, and found me watching him raise his eyes and look at me, "If I Saying that I am not in a hurry is obviously a lie," he smiled self-deprecatingly, and held my hand tightly, "Xiao Xiang, I have been waiting for this day for a long time."

Seeing the sincerity and longing in his eyes, my heart trembled unconsciously. His sincerity made me feel that my thoughts just now were a little unfair. I smiled apologetically at him. If you have a playful mentality, then I have to take him seriously.

He let go of my hand, lit a cigarette, and motioned to me if I wanted one too. I shook my head, "I don't know what's wrong with me. People in middle age still have such a strong desire to get A person's desire, hehe, when I was young, that era was relatively closed and conservative, not to mention that men liked men, even men who liked women were too explicit, and they would be called hooligans." He looked at the smoke rings that he exhaled , caught in the memory of the past.

"I never dare to admit that I like men. I am the eldest brother. How can I explain to my brother? Xiaoqian has followed me outside since she was a child. I know she likes me, but I can only treat her like a relative. But I always want to give her a name, so I married her. In order to protect the face of the so-called underworld big brother, I also adopted a few girls, as if I would look abnormal if I didn’t do this. , do you think I am despicable?" He turned to look at me with a trace of shame and confusion in his eyes.

I looked at him and suddenly felt distressed. I don’t think he is despicable. On the contrary, I think he is very pitiful. If he was an ordinary person like me, even if I was 20 years earlier, I would not be so eye-catching. Surreptitiously live his own life, don't care about other people's eyes, don't do some unwilling things to please others, but he is different, he wants to set an example for the brothers below, he has to sacrifice a lot to maintain this position necessary dignity.

I smiled at him and shook my head, reached out and took his hand and squeezed it.

"I really want to find a mature man to accompany me, but I dare not, I can only find some young boys to play with, so that they will only say that I am ridiculous, fashionable, and thrill-seeking, and they will not suspect In other respects, until the day I met you, the desire that sprouted in my heart was so strong, I really wanted to have you for a long time, and when I knew that you only like men like me, the desire to possess you It was so intense that I almost lost control. Over the years, I have never been so calm. I took the risk to collect all the information related to you. I wanted to know more about you until I realized that you and Lei Zheng The feelings are so deep, and when I couldn't get you at all, I slowly calmed down, looking back at myself during this period, it was really absurd."

Seeing him showing his true feelings, the shock in my heart cannot be described in words. I have met him several times, but I have not found that he is full of such deep affection for me, and until now I still think that he treats me only It was a whim.

"Xiaoxiang, this time I admit that I still take advantage of others' danger. Although I gave you the right to choose freely, I believe that you still agreed to be with me because of the things I did for you, right? ’ He turned around and looked me in the eye.

"Yeah." I just nodded because he was right.

"I am very grateful to you for giving me this opportunity. As I said, I don't guarantee that I will be able to give you happiness, but I will definitely work hard. Please believe me!"

I looked straight into his eyes and heart. When I heard him say this on the phone last time, I really wanted to see his expression at that time. Now I finally saw his sincerity. I was moved because his eyes told me that he was serious!

How lucky I am to have encountered two beautiful loves in my short life, Zheng, what should I do, please tell me? !