our psalms

He once said that if you feel lonely, just look up at the sky that once belonged to us. The sky is still so blue, so there should be no regrets, no tears.I have tried walking along the way, looking back, but I can no longer see the tracks that I walked together, and what is left is only the memories that are all over the sky.If God did not allow you and me to meet, all this is empty, maybe you should be grateful, but the firmness and persistence that I can't understand tell myself over and over again, the trace of happiness has been drawn on the white paper, and I don't regret it I don’t feel heartbroken, all of that is the most beautiful thing bestowed by God, although it may be short-lived, but in the vague life, I can find a reason to be moved, and let myself know that I would also be desperate for a person , I used to cry for someone until my tears dried up, I really loved, I really loved, it doesn't matter where the period is...

Still in the childhood of confusion and fantasy, it is not long to enter the palace of adulthood. At the early age of 20, I felt arrogance and helplessness, because I didn't know when, I started to have emotions for some things that I shouldn't pay attention to. I long for someone to accompany me to make this mistake once.

I don't remember when, the little head in QQ started beating crazily. He wasn't the first one, but he became the last one worthy of the name.From the beginning of chatting, to opening the video on a sudden whim, the seeds of infatuation were sown.

I said I like him very much.That's not fake, no one has ever made me fall into the most extreme desire at a glance like that.Of course, this is not the most important thing, what is more important is that from his remarks, he completely and vividly showed a perfect, extreme, and real image of a good man.He is over forty years old, and he just hit my desire and fascination for mature adults, but he always says he is old and ugly, even though I have repeatedly emphasized that I really only have that kind of attitude towards older uncles. I feel that he has always been very inferior, as if he didn't believe what I said, and always felt that I was flattering or making fun of him.During the first period of time, he always tried to persuade me how to study hard and stop thinking about these things, and the content of my chats was always relevant to real life and true emotions, never daring to jump into the thunder pool step.I have always respected him and treated him as my elder. Chatting with him has always been a very happy thing for me.He has also kept a distance of three homes, not knowing whether he is afraid or suppressed.However, unexpectedly, one day, he suddenly made a 180-degree turn.

He said he wants to meet, although we have known each other for almost half a year, we can almost talk about everything on the Internet, we are the type that we can chat with each other, and we are even in the same city, but he has never made such a request, of course I don't have that courage anymore.But I trust him even more than everyone else, including myself.He seemed to have mustered a lot of energy to say these words that day.After finishing speaking, he hung up the phone without even saying the location and time.But that's what's so cute about him.

A few days later, at noon on Saturday, the buddies in the first dormitory of our dormitory were playing computer games together, and his phone rang at this time.When I picked it up, he actually said that he had already arrived at the gate of my school. I was so scared that my heart was raised in my throat, and I was trembling even when I spoke.After a while, I mustered up all the courage in my life, changed my clothes, and ran to the school gate as calmly as possible. At that time, I didn't see him. Among the pedestrians coming and going, I was sure that he was not Not in it, but I still firmly believe that he will not play me.I started standing there, head down, in a mess inside, waiting.

There was a row of cars parked nearby, and the closest to me was a blue and white police car with the words "POLICE" in large Latin letters on it, as if the accelerator had been activated, ready to move.I was afraid that I was blocking its way, so I took a few steps back, only to see the door of the police car opened, and a public security policeman in uniform came out.At that time, I didn't look at it carefully, and of course I didn't recognize it until he was yelling at me and waving at me. I fixed my eyes and looked at him, but I was still not very clear. , Do you think you have done something illegal, but you really can't remember.When he walked towards me slowly, I saw his appearance clearly, it turned out to be him.I was taken aback at the time. It turned out that he did this.

"Let's go, get in the car!" Without further ado, he cut directly to the topic.I looked at him, then at the car... silent.

"What are you afraid of, haha, uncle won't eat you."

"No, I... I forgot to bring the key." I was embarrassed to run back, but he grabbed my arm, "Boy, you have to listen to my uncle today!"

After being dragged into that "car", I started to calm down a little, but complained: "I said Uncle Policeman, can't you be 'normal'?"

"What's normal?" He turned his head and looked at me while holding the steering wheel.

"I mean..." I looked at him next to him again, looked up and down and said, "wear 'normal' clothes and drive a 'normal' car."

"Hahahaha..." His laughing voice was hearty and domineering. This is the voice unique to mature men. It deeply attracted me. At that time, my face was a little red. "Sorry, I scared you. I just got off work. We have to wear this all day long for this job. I can't help it."

"That's right, where are we going now?"

"Say, where do you want to go?"

"Well, I don't know, take it as you like."

In this way, the two lifelines that did not intersect before were twisted and pulled together. Originally, everyone could escape the entanglement of fate, but time and time again, they let themselves go, perhaps drifting with the tide, no one thought, Some things are so terrible when they burn.

At noon that day, he took me to a small restaurant for dinner. Although the store is small, the business is very prosperous. Maybe the taste here is better. He said that he often goes there and likes the environment there very much. Relax.

In the end, after the food was served, he started to drink alone. I felt very puzzled. After drinking two drinks with him, I saw him start to drink heavily by himself.I obviously feel that there is something wrong with his emotions. Is he disappointed with me who I have known for half a year? I think this possibility should be very small. After all, I believe that he is not that kind of person, and my appearance Not bad, we've seen it countless times in videos.So I couldn't help asking him: "What's wrong with you, you don't seem to be in a good mood?"

As he said that, he still drank the glass of wine he had just poured, then his nose and brows wrinkled, and his face was already turning red. He put down his chopsticks and looked at me, asking, "Who else can I believe?"

"What do you mean?" I don't know why he asked so suddenly.

"How do you children know what emotion is?" He looked a little confused, "You go!"

It made me embarrassed, but after a while I finally showed my true colors.

"Hey, Boss, are you kidding me?" I stood up and was about to turn around, but his hand grabbed it again and shouted, "Xing'er, don't leave Dad!"

"I'm dizzy, what's wrong with Xing'er, are you drunk?" I broke free from him, feeling extremely baffled, but the fire in my stomach was still there, and I walked a few steps outside, but I thought he was drunk like that , I didn't know which muscle was wrong, and I turned my head a little worried. At that moment, I actually saw him crying over there. !