star chaser poem

Overuse of the voice, long-term irregular work and rest, combined with unrestrained drinking and smoking-the day of retribution finally came.

I went to the hospital for laryngoscopy, and the doctor's diagnosis was vocal cord nodules.It is recommended that he talk less in the next few months, pay attention to a light diet, and stop smoking and drinking.

Fu Jing's Adam's apple rolled weakly, and typed a line of words on the memo on the phone: I sing.

"Then you need to rest even more, otherwise it will be very troublesome if it deteriorates into a vocal cord polyp, and you will need an operation."

His right hand stubbornly maintained its original position, as if it was the last resistance in the face of reality.Seeing this, the doctor had no choice but to comfort him softly: "If you take good care of it now, you can still recover to the original state. The key is to actively cooperate with the treatment."

The weather outside was fine, and the sunlight fell on Fu Jing's pale face like feathers. He was clearly surrounded by a warm golden color, but at this moment he couldn't feel the slightest warmth.

Stepping quickly into the shadow of the building, he sniffed quickly.Compared with pain and sadness, there is actually more relief in my heart.

All the trips after Moonquake were cancelled. The reason announced to the public was that the lead singer was unwell and did not disclose the real condition to the public.

They signed an exclusive brokerage contract with the record company at that time, and it will expire in more than half a year.The contract clearly stipulates that members are not allowed to quit midway or disband the band, otherwise they must pay high liquidated damages.

According to the current situation, it is almost impossible for him to carry on with the band activities as usual during the remaining period.And if the state of inactivity continues for a long time, it will inevitably drag other people down, dragging down Moonquake, a name that everyone has worked hard for many years.

The best solution Fu Jing could think of was to wait for the contract to expire and not renew it, and choose to quit.At the same time, we must find a new lead singer for the band as soon as possible, otherwise everyone will suffer with him.

There seemed to be a sharp knife in his chest, and he had to draw it out to have a good time, or wasted slowly waiting for the blood to drain—no matter what he did, it would inevitably be accompanied by severe pain from the wound.

Every step forward is dripping with blood, and people grow up slowly in this process of being constantly injured and self-healing.

Fu Jing returned to the company.Another half hour will be the internal regular meeting, and he habitually hid in that small meeting room without turning on the lights, just sitting alone in a dark, claustrophobic space, letting his chaotic thoughts ferment endlessly.

"Drip" - the sound of swiping the card shattered the fragile silence, the door of the conference room was opened a crack, the sudden light hurt the eyes dormant in the darkness, Fu Jing narrowed her eyes reflexively.

The visitor sat down on the chair opposite him, and as the partition door closed, the dark curtain closed again.

Fu Jing didn't make a sound because he couldn't speak, but he didn't know why the person in front of him was silent.

Perhaps the two people's thoughts coincided with each other, after all, Ji Yin would not allow anyone to intervene to destroy his plans for the future.

"If you don't want to do it, get out." The tone of these words was extremely calm, without a strong smell of gunpowder, without vicious complaints, like a shriveled balloon.

"If you worked too hard to get where you are, then I have nothing to say."

"Unfortunately not, you are the one to blame. Look at you like a stray dog, are you happy to ruin yourself? The guys who eat are gone. I think you are a scum. If you can't control yourself, you will give it to the surroundings People add to the chaos."

In the environment deprived of vision, Ji Yin's voice was particularly piercing.Fu Jing stared at his mouth opening and closing in the dim dark blue, those sentences tightly twisted his throat like a string of beads, making it suffocating.

"Let me ask you once, do you want to leave or stay."

Swallowing with difficulty, the mouth of his throat felt like a burning hot iron was embedded, and there was slight pain.

If no one changes, then there is no point in staying, it is nothing more than repeating the past.The discord between the two has a long history. Perhaps, since the day Fu Jing decided to leave Songshi, the countdown to today has already begun.

He stood up and walked to the door without looking back.With another beep, the door opened, and Fu Jing stepped into the cold white light.At that moment, he suddenly realized that in the process of growing up, he seemed to be constantly failing or betraying all kinds of people.

Ji Yin is right, I'm such a selfish waste, it's better not to appear in other people's lives.

·

Fu Jing returned to Songshi.He wanted to stay alone for a while, and calm down to recuperate.

Father Fu is still stationed abroad. After learning about this incident, he sent a message in the tone of a leader: If you are a man, you should face up to the difficulties.

In order to take care of him, Luo Xian specially applied to work from home.As a result, Fu Jing's ears were often filled with the voice of her having a meeting and vigorously reprimanding her subordinates.

On the day when she got home, Luo Xian was even taken aback, and said, "Why do you look like a ghost or a ghost?"

During this time, he hardly ever left home.Tormented by the surging addiction to cigarettes and alcohol, he drank a lot of water and chewed gum, but could not eat any food.In the spacious apartment in Wu City, I slept in the dark, and when I woke up, I was in a daze with a numb expression. The curtains were never opened, and I never looked in the mirror.

Fu Jing didn't know what he looked like in the eyes of others.

The room was very strange.After all, he hasn't been back much since he moved, and the things in the house still seem to greet him in his high school uniform.

Luo Xian knew that there was some stubbornness in his character, and he was easy to get into a dead end, so she specifically told him not to be bored at home, but to go out to meet friends more often to relax.When people are sick, they are more fragile than usual, so don't think about it anymore.

Helplessly, Fu Jing had been away from home for too long, and the classmates and friends he knew in the past either went to other cities, or were related to music - and he didn't want to see those people now.

In the end, Luo Xian saw him shaking his head silently, and hid in the room alone, like a half-withered plant.

After carrying a plate of cut fruits, she kindly followed, "It would be great if you didn't move, at least someone will talk to you."

Fu Jing, who was sitting by the side, only moved her fingers slightly, but she didn't know whether she heard it or not.

"I'll go back quickly when my voice is almost good. I don't have time to let you down." Luo Xian sat down beside him, and confessed in a tone like assigning a task.

Because of the video conference, she still wears a professional suit at home.Fu Jing was a little afraid of his uncompromising mother, so she couldn't help sitting up straight when she saw this, ready to be scolded.

"Let me tell you, your illness was born at the right time, otherwise you will have to continue to degenerate."

He lowered his head and played with his fingernails, like a schoolboy who has done something wrong, without saying a word.

"Your profession can widely influence others. Now that you are in a decadent and negative state, it is useless even if you are asked to sing in a stadium with tens of thousands of people. The people standing on the stage have no energy. Have the ability to impress the audience."

"Reflect on how it became like this, and don't run away. A man should look like a man, and show some ambition."

Luo Xian patted him on the back very hard, as if wanting to knock out all the disappointment and depression that had settled for a long time.

·

Staying at home like this for a while, under Luo Xian's supervision, Fu Jing insisted on going to bed early and getting up early, and went to the hospital regularly for examination and treatment.He has recovered enough to speak normally, but he still has to avoid speaking as much as possible so that his throat can be fully rested.

He would often go out alone in the afternoon, taking aimless walks.After leaving for a long time, many places in this city are changing, and the traces left by the old and new changes are very attractive to him.

On this day, while Fu Jing was walking, it suddenly rained.He was in a hurry to avoid the rain, and when he passed by a coffee shop, he rushed in helplessly, and the bell hanging on the door frame rang crisply.

"Excuse me, who are you?" The clerk who greeted him was a refreshing boy, probably a college student who came to work.

Wearing a mask, Fu Jing stretched out her index finger to make comparisons, and the comparison led him to a corner by the window.

On weekday afternoons, there are very few customers in the store, most of them are students studying by themselves and housewives who live nearby.

I ordered a glass of Italian soda and specifically asked not to put ice cubes.He rested his cheeks, looking at the scenery outside boredly, the stains of rainwater remained on the glass windows, like mildew spots on bread.

A music radio program is playing in the coffee shop, interspersed with songs requested by the listeners.What is playing now happens to be a song by Eri's. It is not a well-known hit song. It belongs to the inconspicuous position in the album, and it will be ignored if you don't listen carefully.

Huan Meng's singing voice is very recognizable, reminiscent of the damp and cold fog in the forest.Although he was idling in private, once he sang, even the details of expression were extremely rich.Those things that others need to spend a long time carefully pondering are like innate instincts for him.

The clerk just now stood at the console, humming softly while wiping the cups.Fu Jing also knows this song, but the lyrics of the main song AB are different, so he can't remember very clearly, but the boy can follow every line of the lyrics accurately, it seems that he likes Eri's very much.

At the end of the song, the host praised that Eri's is one of his favorite new generation bands, and Huan Meng and Jing He are rare talents.The members are so young, and they have already achieved great results in the first band, which is better than others who have worked hard for several years.The next tour will go overseas, and I really look forward to their future development.

The antique copper ceiling fan on the ceiling is slowly rotating, and the blades of the fan are cutting the light falling from the top of the head. Shadow and light alternately cover Fu Jing's eyelashes, and everything in front of her eyes gradually becomes unreal.

The scene of sitting here last time is still vivid in my mind, and the longings and fantasies I once harbored are now floating in mid-air in vain, like colorful soap bubbles.But now, sitting in the same position, he witnessed a cruel fragmentation with his own eyes.

Why can other people be so successful?What exactly went wrong?No hard work, no talent, no luck—maybe he got or gave a little, but it was not enough, those half-baked things were not enough for him to succeed.

Jealousy is a high-density scarlet, wrapped in frustration, self-denial, and anger, overwhelming his entire world.

It would be fine if I were Huan Meng.I don't want to be myself anymore, and being myself is not good at all.

Glancing at the empty seat opposite, Fu Jing thought to herself, wondering what he would say if he saw me in such a complete defeat.

The rain is still falling tirelessly.Those unspeakable emotions swelled up in the depths of his heart, and then dried up hollowly, as if washed away by continuous rain.

After sitting in a trance for a long time, there were fewer and fewer customers in the store, so he stumbled and picked up the bill, ready to pay.

The clerk scanned the barcode on the receipt, and quietly fixed his eyes on Fu Jing's face. He took a breath and asked tentatively, "Are you J?"

Fu Jing didn't react, and nodded in a daze.After these years of separation, the sense of existence of that name has become increasingly thinner, as if it no longer belongs to him.

"My God! Really! I wanted to ask you as soon as you came in, but I was afraid of disturbing you. Could you sign me?"

When the clerk reappeared with a notebook and a pen, Fu Jing casually mentioned while signing: "I thought you liked Eri's."

"I like both. After all, you are completely different."

After hearing this sentence, the act of signing stopped.Fu Jing's eyes fell on the stranger in front of him again, his excited expression did not seem to be lying.

The boy said that he also sang, formed a band at school, and occasionally participated in platter live at Titan Queen.However, the event has just started, and there are very few spectators who come to join in, mainly to have fun with the companions.

"I have been to your performance in Wu City. You are really amazing. Your live performance is not at the same level as that of a CD."

"I bought all the records. Every time I feel that I can't hold on, I always look out for your DVDs, thinking that one day I can become like this..."

Exhausting all her strength, Fu Jing forced a faint smile under the mask, "Thank you."

"Come on!"

He waved his hand at the boy, and he felt as if a strange-tasting sugar ball had been stuffed into his mouth.While Fu Jing was envious of others, someone actually dreamed of being him.

Maybe she once had those sparkling eyes, but now Fu Jing has returned to the starting point of everything, only to find that he still has nothing after such a long journey.

A choice must be made.