star chaser poem

-From the perspective of poetry-

"Xiang Shi."

After being called his name, he stood up, walked to the podium mechanically, and took the score strip with the score of this month's test from the head teacher.

The head teacher's head was like a green flytrap, clusters of black insect shadows sprayed out between the opening and closing lips and teeth.

Quickly scanning the far right end of the entire note, Xiang Shi felt that her face was like a squashed lantern.The classmate sitting in the front row looked up at him, raised his finger on the tip of his nose, "You have a nosebleed."

Xiang Shi gave a vague "oh", pinched the middle of the bridge of her nose, and quickly walked back to the seat to search for tissues.The blood was like dirty sludge, filled with a moist and warm smell, churning in his nasal cavity.

He was not in the mood to attend lectures or do homework. The emotional rage overwhelmed all his attention, and he was dragged into the scarlet deep sea to wait to drown.

The thin strip of paper was crumpled up and stuffed into the pencil case.The white paper with his score written on it was stained with a glaring bloodstain.

The bright red stain began to gradually spread and twist, and finally gave birth to a mouth full of horrifying fangs, biting off a piece of tender flesh on his heart.

It was more than a dozen places behind last time, and it was counting down in the fast class, and it almost slipped out.Xiang Shi admonishes herself secretly in her heart: no next time is allowed.

·

Although there is no spiritual obsession with cleanliness, since the incident in the toilet, Xiang Shi has developed an indescribable disgust for the pious guys around her.

He couldn't really make friends with his classmates, not to mention the inherently unstable composition of the class: it was very likely that he was still in the same class one month, but parted ways the next month.

Everything around him seemed distorted and false.

On the one hand, he had to abide by the set of values ​​in the school, and on the other hand, he resisted.The strength of struggle is always too weak, so the strength of internal friction is wasted, and the whole body is exhausted.

In ordinary liberal arts classes, Xiang Shi would rush to do homework in other subjects; however, it is difficult for him to concentrate now, his mind is full of random thoughts, his eyes are fixed on the typeface in the book, but his thoughts have already My mind wandered beyond cloud nine.

He didn't understand why, even though the time and method of studying were the same, how could the test get worse and worse.The irony is that Xiang Shi's parents never demanded him excessively in terms of grades, and it can even be said that they have no demands.

They just asked him if he was having a good day.It's a pity that being happy is useless.Joy won't feed his ambition, or save him from feeling inferior.

Just like the established factory settings, he didn't know when he learned this method of measuring a person's value by grades.Maybe it's the tacit understanding around him, maybe it's the trend of the times, in short, this kind of judgment constitutes his way of looking at the world, and constitutes a part of "Xiang Shi".

As a result, when the object of retribution finally fell on him, he couldn't find a second more suitable description other than to blame himself.

·

During the big class break in the morning, Xiang Shi fell asleep on the table uncharacteristically.Suddenly someone tapped lightly on the table, he opened his eyes irritably, and there was a piece of snow-white cuff close at hand.

"The math teacher called you to the office."

He sat up expressionlessly, "Got it." With half of his face paralyzed by sleep, he took off the tissue stuffed in his nose to stop the bleeding.

"You didn't wipe off the blood."

"No problem."

The other party turned a deaf ear, and took out a few brand new tissues, trying to wipe off the coagulated blood on his face.

"Don't touch me." Xiang Shi dodged the approaching hand in disgust, like avoiding the plague that everyone can't avoid.He deliberately didn't look at the class representative's expression, and he didn't want to.

Maybe he didn't wake up, but on the way to the office, he felt a little top-heavy in a trance.

The mathematics teachers of the whole grade share an office. The lighting in the room is not very good. Even in broad daylight, the room is still dark and cold.

Their class teacher's desk was right next to the door, and Xiang Shi stood against the wall with a blank expression, being scolded without saying a word.The other teachers present had seen this scene for a long time, and no one took him seriously at all.

He didn't finish a paper for the homework assigned last weekend.However, his mind has not been clear for the past few days. On Monday, he mistakenly thought that the empty space had been filled, so he handed it in in such a daze.

The math teacher was shorter than him when he was standing, and when he sat down, he could only see the top of his frail head, but this did not prevent the middle-aged man's menacing anger.

It was like trying to inflate a poor-quality balloon, and there was an unpleasant hiss from the inside of the constantly bursting latex.

He looked at the man's chattering face, as if looking at a monster with a huge octopus on its neck, spit out a mouthful of thick black ink from the squirming snout from time to time, and all the splashed liquid was sprayed on Xiang Shijie's uniform.

Under normal circumstances, when he is criticized, he tends to go in one ear and out the other, and never pays attention to it; but that day he listened very carefully and remembered it firmly.Like those black spots seeping into the fabric of the uniform.

Xiang Shi walked out of the office with a tattered test paper thrown at her body.The math teacher asked him to stay after school at night. In addition to the original homework, he added an extra paper, and he was not allowed to leave until he finished it.

The class bell rang long ago, and the corridor was eerily quiet, with no one in sight.

Standing in the empty corridor, he felt a sense of freedom that he hadn't felt for a long time.Others are sitting in the classroom step by step, but he can use the short blank time as he likes - as if he has stolen something that does not belong to him.

The still painting-like scenery outside the window flashed across the field of vision.Meishan occupies a large area, and at a glance, it is almost all the territory of the school, and there is no exit.

And in this huge place, Xiang Shi couldn't find anyone who could speak his mind.

Involuntarily stopped walking towards the classroom.At this moment, he wanted to escape.

Xiang Shi simply returned to the dormitory, pressed the crumpled test papers under the pile of books, took off the soaked and dirty clothes, then put down the bed curtain, hid in the quilt, and blocked out all the light.

He restrained himself from imagining the consequences of being caught skipping class.

When sleeping in the dormitory, he likes to face the wall and leave his back outside.Xiang Shi closed her eyes resolutely, and prayed devoutly that she would never have to face the world after waking up again.

The thin back became chilly and bare, oozing a defenseless fragility.Reminiscent of a toy that has been dismantled and unwound.

·

Xiang Shi finally woke up, but he couldn't open his eyes.

This sleep was comparable to being knocked unconscious, dreamless and deep, it seemed to be enough to repay all the sleep that I owed in the past few months.

He turned over and lay on his back, carefully distinguishing the consciousness that was gradually awakening.There was no abnormality in the left eye, but the eyelid of the right eye seemed to be pressed with an egg just out of boiling water, hot and heavy.

Only a gap can be barely opened from the bulging soft tissue.Eyelids are itchy - not just eyelids, but physically too.

Xiang Shi tentatively raised her right hand to her face.

Just after this short sleep, a large area of ​​hideous scars like burns rushed to grow on the skin, and the edge of each scar was surrounded by a circle of light pink.

Like a wriggling clam, the soft body grew together with his flesh, and the surface was covered with a layer of calcified shell.

He slid the nails of his left hand over the bulge, and the itching didn't ease in the slightest, but his fingertips were burned with scorching heat.

Xiang Shi didn't dare to look at her watch, but she dared to look in the mirror.Half of his face was horribly swollen.

The surface of the stretched skin shone with a crystal luster, like a pomegranate that was ripe and about to burst.

Staring intently at the strange reflection in the glass, Xiang Shi's fingers slowly touched the cold mirror surface.

The ten fingers that were originally well-defined have now become thick and hard to bend, and even the folds at the joints have been blurred, like fat taro worms.

Faced with all these creepy things, Xiang Shi's first reaction was not to be afraid.It's rejoicing, it's ecstatic.

You can go home in a fair manner!

He saw that the bright red pomegranate in the mirror opened an ugly curved opening, revealing a row of white and neat teeth.

·

When Bai Ru picked him up at school, she was almost so frightened that she cried on the spot.If the other party hadn't taken the initiative to wave at her, she would have been unable to connect the person in front of her who had been destroyed by the wind group beyond recognition with her son.

Xiang Shi wrapped her bloated face with the mask and hat brought by her mother.Among the two exposed eyes, one is black and white, and the other is swollen like a plump grape. Others can only see his eyeballs through a narrow slit.

Bai Ru said it was an old problem.Because Xiang Shi has an allergic constitution, she often developed hives when she was a child.But in the past, they only grew a few sporadically, and their destructive power was similar to that of mosquitoes. I have never seen such a flooded posture.

Flytrap watched him get into Bai Ru's car worriedly, and told him that he must wait until he recovered before returning to class, and there was no need to worry.

Xiang Shi didn't answer after hearing this, but just blinked obediently.The range of motion of the right eye is too crowded, and even the eyelashes are about to poke into the eyelid.

They are going to the hospital first and then go home.

Few parts of Xiang Shi's body were spared, his whole body was soaked in the liquid called "itch", and he couldn't rest for a moment.

Not long after he sat down in the car, he realized that the leeches attached to him were multiplying at an alarming rate.The red and swollen parts became more and more large, and even connected to each other to form a towering piece.

"Mom, drive faster, I can't stand the itching." He said as he attacked the diseased skin, and the area where the nails invaded left bloodstains.

"Okay, don't scratch randomly, be careful not to scratch." Bai Ru tried her best to focus on the current road conditions instead of her son's face.

The doctor diagnosed that this was acute urticaria caused by low immunity and mental stress.The eruption was very sudden and fierce like never before.Symptoms as severe as Xiang Shi's, even he has never seen a few cases.

After simply prescribing internal and external medicines, the doctor continued to explain to Bai Ru: In order to suppress the spread of wheals, you can choose to take hormone emergency; if you are worried about side effects, then you don't have to take them, but the recovery process will be quite slow.

Without waiting for Bai Ru to answer, Xiang Shiben declared decisively, "I'll fight."

He first went to the hospital's medicine collection window to get the injections. The transparent ampoules were packed in white and brown paper bags, and there were two bottles in total.

The nurse in the injection room glanced at the medicine he brought, and couldn't help frowning, "This kind of injection is very painful, you have to bear it."

Because the rubella covered the entire right side of his face, when he spoke to Shi, he stretched the muscles on the extension line of the corner of his mouth, and felt that it was extremely strenuous.

"Go ahead, I'm not afraid of pain."

"There will be some swelling and pain after the second injection, so don't scream when the medicine is pushed in."

The kind nurse sighed as she spoke, her words were full of sympathy, "I don't even have the heart to do it."

Xiang Shi silently rolled up her sleeves, thinking to herself: I don't know if she can't bear to give me an injection, or can't bear to look at my face.

Perhaps because of the extreme physical condition, at the moment of receiving the injection, he sincerely believed that the pain was better than the itch.

The foreign body sensation that the metal needle pierced into the skin was like a cold and cold invasion without temperature.Maybe when someone gouges into the chest with a knife, it will also magnify this feeling.

After a toss, it was already dark.On the way home, Bai Ru asked him if he wanted to eat, and Xiang Shi replied unappetizingly, and stopped talking.

The doctor had warned that people would become very drowsy after taking hormone injections, and he curled up in the co-pilot's seat, wrapped in an inexplicable lethargy all over his body.

The itching of urticaria, the pain of the wound after the injection, the drowsiness caused by the drug, the stuffiness caused by poor breathing, and the dizziness caused by the bumping of the car.At this time, nothing that this body can perceive is pleasant.

But in contrast, Xiang Shi's spirit floated lightly under the wash of relaxation and peace of mind.

·

Xiang Shi lay sprawled on the bed, with a pillow under her head and another in her arms.

The temperature in the place where the hives started was relatively high, and the wheals on his body were still hot and itchy. He grabbed a corner of the quilt and covered his stomach, and let his limbs air out to dissipate heat.

After arriving home, he quickly took a shower, put on his pajamas, and went to the room to rest.

I have already taken the internal medicine, and the zinc oxide lotion applied externally can provide temporary relief, but the effect cannot last for too long.

He thought it was troublesome, so he didn't bother to apply it over and over again, and he just hoped that he could fall asleep soon, after all, he wouldn't have to endure such painful torment after falling asleep.

After lying down for a while, a vague doorbell suddenly came from outside the room, and then Bai Ru asked by the door: "Jingjing is here, should you let him directly into your room?"

Upon hearing this sentence, Xiang Shi quickly picked up the pillow in her arms and covered her face, and at the same time leaked her mouth, and responded loudly: "Okay!"

Yes, he is out of school.

After blocking the vision, everything familiar in front of him disappeared.

Xiang Shi waited motionless, as if playing a clumsy game of hide-and-seek: he deliberately hid in an easy-to-guess location, just to let the ghost find him quickly.

"Why are you clutching a pillow? Don't you feel bored?"

"Disfigured. I don't want to show you."

In fact, he couldn't see Fu Jing's appearance, but the moment he heard the other party's voice, he naturally began to imagine the appearance of that person in his mind.

It should be wearing a school uniform shirt, no jacket, the top button must not be fastened properly, and the two sleeves have been turned up and folded in a mess.

"Why do you look like a girl? Okay, okay, don't look at it." Fu Jing dragged a chair over familiarly and sat on the side of the bed.

On the bedside table are the half-coated zinc oxide and cotton swabs, as well as the various pills that are about to be taken.

The raging rubella was tireless, Xiang Shi covered the pillow with her bare hands, and still couldn't help but want to use those carrot-like fingers to grab a bite.

"Don't grab it." - Someone slapped his fingertips violently.

Then, there was another rustling sound near her head. Fu Jing seemed to be reading the instructions of the bottle of potion, "Do you want me to apply the potion for you?"

Buried under the pillow, Xiang Shi didn't make a sound, but stretched out an arm wordlessly.

The smell of talc.

The white liquid mixed with powder is applied to the skin and cools the burning itch.After the zinc oxide dries out, it will form a thin white film, which is as smooth as the surface of solidified gypsum.

Xiang Shi let Fu Jing hold his hand, and said on her own, "I'll ask you a question."

"You ask."

"What would you think of me if I got bad grades?"

The tip of the swab poked him hard.

"What's the strange question, is there a relationship between the two?"

Fu Jing paused, and threw a straight ball without hesitation, "Did you fail the exam?"

"I failed the exam."

The other party laughed gloatingly, and by the way easily restrained Xiang Shi's restless hand, "Don't make trouble, the medicine is all spilled."

So the hand obediently stopped moving, replaced by a lifeless pleading: "I'm itching to death, please pinch me with your nails."

"I won't pinch, the backs of your hands have been scratched."

At this time, the back of the opponent's hand with a slightly lower temperature was attached to his.Fu Jing's hands should be warm, but now Xiang Shi felt cold and comfortable.

Healthy skin covers a raised wheal.

"Do you feel that you have to prove something to others?"

It's obviously a question, but the person asking the question doesn't seem to need an answer.It seems that in his mind, the person who needs the answer is not himself, but Xiang Shi.

"Maybe you were brainwashed in Meishan. You think that only powerful people deserve to be liked by everyone, and they should stand in the sun, and the rest deserve to be forgotten and only deserve to live in the dust."

"I won't change my impression of you just because you're not smart, ugly, or crying alone in a pillow."

He wanted to say that I didn't cry, but I swallowed it sensibly.

"Listen well, you don't need to prove anything to me in exchange for my kindness to you."

Fu Jing turned over her palm and held his hand again.The area where zinc peroxide was applied became cool. Although the potion was not effective in the face of the itchy torture, Xiang Shi felt vaguely that maybe he no longer needed to ask for help from those pungent drugs.

He moved the pillow slightly, revealing the left side of his face intact.

Sure enough, Fu Jing was dressed in white today.He stared in his direction as usual, as if he had never left.

That white washes away the colorful dirt on the body, the covetous greed, and the mediocre troubles.

I don't know whether it was because the color of the shirt was too white or because the raging illness finally crushed the remaining willpower, Xiang Shi quickly moved the pillow back to its original position and pressed it against his eyes.

It turns out that people will also be itched to tears.