star chaser poem

-From the perspective of poetry-

In the summer vacation after the entrance examination, the relationship between Xiang Shi and Fu Jing seemed to be back to normal, but he knew in his heart that the day of separation was finally coming.

Fu Jing was promoted to the high school of her original school.At the beginning of the vacation, he bought a red electric guitar, practiced tirelessly every day, and often went to the piano store for lessons, as if he was chasing an invisible idol day and night - he found something that could temporarily replace his voice .

In summer, they still sit side by side on the high breakwater as they did when they were young. The sea level under the sun is calm and the sea is calm.

The embankment that used to require two people to work together to climb up, now he can jump up without any effort.

Xiang Shi pretended to be attached to the fishing rod, and Fu Jing fell asleep on his shoulder.

He tilted his head calmly, staring at the sleeping face of the man thoughtfully: two obedient arcs were formed from the closed eyes, his delicate eyelashes could be clearly distinguished from the angle of looking down, and his upper lip was somewhat stubborn. If he wakes up, his mouth will be locked tightly stubbornly, and he will ask him some difficult words angrily.

The lackluster daily life seemed extraordinarily precious on the eve of parting.

As early as a long time ago, Xiang Shi had a vague feeling that the world Fu Jing saw was different from her own.

For example, the face shields they were sitting on now, Fu Jing always said they looked like human faces, similar to the kind of middle-aged men with mustaches who would blow their beards and stare angrily when they were sitting under their buttocks.In Xiang Shi's view, these stones are just geometric shapes cut regularly, and the lines are arranged rigorously and neatly, which makes him feel happy with obsessive-compulsive disorder.

He closed his eyes, and the soft hair on the top of the other man's head brushed against his cheek.

Xiang Shi couldn't help thinking, why did I become such an annoying person to him.I force myself to read books, force myself to study, force myself to say some sanctimonious words...maybe because sometimes, without "forced" people can't move forward, and without "forced" people can't get those dream things at all.

The process of moving forward under the yoke is very painful, but there are many things. If you don’t face it now, you still have to face it in the future; if you can’t do it now, you still can’t do it in the future.

He knows that if he wants to win the competition, he must mechanically clean up useless distractions and tirelessly walk on the right path.

·

Meishan is a separate school for boys and girls.To be precise, the school Xiang Shi attended should be called Meishan Boys High School.

In the first placement test after admission, he was admitted to the fast class.Among the four people in the same dormitory, Xiang Shi's grade rank was the highest, but he didn't show the slightest joy, instead he clearly and profoundly realized a fact: he was not as smart as he thought at all.

Because those who can be admitted to this school are all the top students in everyone's mouth.

Some of the classmates had finished the content of senior one and senior two as early as junior high school. He just barely stayed in the vanguard at the starting position of this game. I can't catch up.

The examination schedule in Meishan is extremely dense, and the most tormenting point is that when you are reviewing, you dare not use a little luck to guess the difficulty of the official examination. You must always carry the fear of being squeezed out and force yourself In a semi-blind state, day after day, I chew on the knowledge points that have been regurgitated countless times, and race against the unknown with diligence.

In the first month after school started, Xiang Shi didn't dare to go home, after all, he would be delayed on the road for a long time, and his poor grades did not allow such extravagant waste.

I don't know when he started to suffer from insomnia.

Even though he was lying on the bed with his eyes closed, his mind was still running crazily all the time. Those formulas and theorems ran over the ruts inside his closed eyelids, and the numbers and calculations were flying in the darkness at an almost terrifying speed.

His sleep time became very short, but he didn't feel very sleepy, only the very obvious tiredness around the eyes, and the flame of consciousness was always burning endlessly and silently.

I finally fell asleep, and around four or five o’clock in the morning, the nausea would always come to disturb people’s slumber very punctually. The surging stomach acid blocked the body, corroding the esophagus and throat wave after wave. Retching, he couldn't spit anything out.

After opening his eyes, there was a new round of torment. The brain seemed to be rejecting sleep. The monsters and ghosts that had never appeared during the day laughed and pulled his nerves to dance, song after song, without stopping.In order not to wake up his roommate, he simply got up and hid in the toilet to study - there is a light there, and it is not easy for the dormitory supervisor to check.

15-year-old Xiang Shi sometimes feels that the dark green uniform she wears is more like a prison uniform that cannot be taken off.

The embroidered school badge on the left chest is his prisoner number, and all the students are prisoners who have been sentenced to death with a suspended sentence. They are scrambling to obey, for fear that one day the execution of the sentence will fall on their heads—yes, they must try their best to stay in this class and in this cell, if not, what awaits them is the one who will be eliminated gallows.

Only learning can allow him to live a better life, and if life itself is overwhelming, without any joy or expectation, what is the purpose of suffering day after day.

·

It happened in another sleepless morning.

This kind of torture is already common to Xiang Shi.He had given up struggling a long time ago, and would very consciously turn over and get out of bed after waking up, tiptoely picked up books and stationery, and hid in his secret study room—the toilet.

Meishan is a private high school with well-known alumni all over the country. Thanks to donations from all walks of life and high tuition fees, the superior campus facilities and dormitory conditions are beyond the reach of ordinary schools.

Their toilets are bright and spacious, and the cubicles alone occupy a long row. Although she was not too worried about being discovered, Xiang Shi still carefully chose the innermost one.

He sat on the toilet seat and read the wrong question, and the confined space made people feel safer than ever.

There is always a strong aroma in the school bathroom, reminiscent of middle-aged women's cosmetics mixed with body odor, and even a hint of dizziness and nausea will appear after smelling for a long time.

He couldn't remember how long he stayed there, until the sound of deliberately light footsteps sounded outside the door.Due to the large space, even intentional control can't cover up the empty echo. The sound was chaotic and impetuous, and it sounded like there should be more than one person.

He ignored it, but stopped turning the pages.

The crisp clang of the metal lock overlapped with the muffled sound of his back hitting the door panel. Before he could realize what happened, the liquid sound made by molluscs entangled involuntarily poured into his ears, like two Slimy slugs.

At first, Xiang Shi thought that he would be panicked, but he just sat there expressionless, waiting for the two to end quickly.

It was like being woken up by an annoying cat meowing || Chunge in the middle of the night, or watching a hungry ghost who was dying alive with cold eyes. Those faces that were gradually distorted in the desire || couldn't arouse the slightest reaction from him.

Maybe it wasn't two people hiding in the compartment, but two naked male||sexual beasts.

He is not incomprehensible.After all, in such an environment, it is really difficult to be happy.

Some of their perceptions are atrophied and blunted under the high-pressure paralysis, and they can only retaliate for more intense stimuli—those readily available and increased doses of powerful drugs.

Can't wait to swallow.

Xiang Shi carefully lowered the movement of her breathing. For some reason, she suddenly remembered the day she left home to report to Meishan.

He remembered very clearly that his parents had packed their luggage in advance and waited in the car, Fu Jing came downstairs to see him off, and gently hugged himself in the dark stairwell.

The other party's body was warm, and the bones in the shoulders were a little bit sticky. Xiang Shi even felt a sense of dislocation inexplicably, as if standing in front of him was another stranger.

Because he is not very familiar with this body, by the way, the voice sounds different, Fu Jing now seems to be more powerful than he remembered, taller, more like an adult male.

The panting sound that gradually subsided was held in the palm of the hand, and the paper was rolled, torn, and crumpled dully, and finally there was a dry rubbing sound.

The so-called learning did not make them so smart, but let them degenerate into irrational animals in a dark corner.

Since then, Xiangshi no longer goes to the toilet to read.

A few days later, in a math class, the teacher drew people to do problems on the blackboard.It was the last big question of the last exam, and it was so difficult that I called several people one after another but were helpless.

In a fit of anger, the math teacher directly called the class representatives by name. As a result, they wrote it out after three times, five times and two divisions. The thinking was clear, and the problem solving speed was extremely fast, without a single redundant step.

Xiang Shi wrote vigorously while pricking up his ears to listen to his explanation carefully. As he wrote, something quietly revived in his memory. He raised his head in a daze and looked at the dark green figure in front of the blackboard.

The class representative's skin is very white, the fingers pointing at the blackboard are long and straight, and the protruding bones at the wrist are gathered in the crisp cuffs of the white shirt.Unlike the dirty and yellowed wrists of most of his classmates, his cuffs looked spotless and flawless.

But Xiang Shi couldn't see it at all.

All he could see was a wriggling slug.