[HP] The Tweed River flows

I went back to school full of worries, but school life was not as carefree as before.

I put more energy into my schoolwork and really started the so-called "study hard".While everyone else is worrying about the upcoming exams, I am already studying the content of the higher grades.If I used to just like to show off a little in class and be self-indulgent in the admiration of others, but now I am competitive and never allow anyone to go ahead of me.

I want to use my actions to prove that I am outstanding.I can easily take the crown with high scores in tests big and small.However, I found that I was not happy.Because I know that the achievements in my studies that make me complacent are not surprising in their eyes.I despise the envious eyes of my classmates. What is there to envy about this insignificant achievement?I didn't miss the praise in my ears any more, I just strode forward without squinting.I quickly left everyone behind, and only Sylvia was left by my side.

"Helena is really the smartest student I have ever taught, and Rowena was nothing more than that."

"This is too exaggerated. She is indeed outstanding, but Rowena is Rowena after all."

Similar comments from faculty members kept pouring into my ears.

"No.1 is that Ravenclaw again."

"Of course, Rowena's niece, it's normal."

Katherine Murray crumpled up her contents every time I mentioned my name.Alessandra's eyes gleamed with jealousy as she walked past me.

Even the people I hate are jealous of my grades, but I can't be happy at all.

"Syl, why did they only see my aunt? It's me who is excellent, what does it have to do with my aunt?" I said in panic, holding Sylvia's arm tightly.

"Oh, you hurt me—because Professor Ravenclaw is so outstanding, everything pales in comparison to her." Sylvia rubbed her arms and replied absently.

I stood there in a daze, a sense of powerlessness that I had not seen for a long time overwhelmed me, making me feel exhausted for a while.

Why is it still like this?No matter how hard I struggle, I can't escape her shadow.No matter how hard I try, people only see me as her niece, a pale copy of Rowena Ravenclaw?

"Helena, what's the matter? Go, Transfiguration is going to be late!" Sylvia greeted me with a frown.

I nodded and followed in a daze.

In Transfiguration, instead of sitting in the front row and interacting with Professor Gryffindor as usual, I sat alone at the end of the classroom, with the windows open and the cold wind blowing.I tried to calm myself down a bit in this way, but my mind became even more dizzy.

Professor Gryffindor asked a few tricky questions, and the class fell silent. He looked in my direction hopefully, while I looked out the window.No one answered, so Professor Gryffindor had no choice but to give the answer angrily.

After class, all the classmates in the class were almost gone, and I was the only one who remained motionless.Professor Gryffindor came over and leaned over to ask me what's wrong, and his usually rough voice was rarely soft-spoken.

After packing up, Sylvia showed a strange expression when she saw that I was still lying on the table.

"Are you okay, Helena? You've been acting weird today," she came over suspiciously, as if trying to pull me up, and screamed as soon as she touched me: "Oh, why are you so hot? "

I have a fever.

You may be wondering, since it is a very common non-magical disease, as long as the school doctor prescribes a little refreshing potion, it can be cured, so why do you need to be hospitalized?But at that time, I really couldn't get better.After taking the refreshing potion, he would vomit profusely, feel depressed, and even have a very poor appetite.I more or less know why I am the way I am, but it does nothing to alleviate the depression in my heart.If it was before, I might cry on the bed and let this unpleasant page turn.But now I can't do it.I'm not that little girl who just cries, and I know it's useless.I need to fight for what I want, but I still can't get it after trying my best.I can not be reconciled.Sylvia has visited me several times, but even to her, I still don't know how to express my distress.

As night fell, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling, sleepless.

At this time, the door rang.

I turned my head a little surprised, this time, who could it be?

Rowena Ravenclaw held a candlestick, gently opened the door and walked in.

"Helena?" My mother looked at me slightly surprised, and said, "I thought you were asleep...I didn't wake you up, did I?"

"No," I said simply, turning my back on her.

"Ms. Weir told me you were sick...how are you doing?" My mother sat on the edge of my bed, looking a little embarrassed.

"It's okay," I stubbornly turned my back to her, and secretly wiped away some tears from the corners of my eyes.

"Ms. Ware told me you don't take your medicine on time, how can you recover sooner?"

"Don't worry about it."

Mother was a little surprised, but after a few seconds she showed a look of understanding.

"Not in a good mood?" she said tentatively. "Are you blaming me for not seeing you in time? Sorry, I just got back today—"

"No," I said stubbornly.

"What's the matter?" The mother's patience seemed endless, "Helena, no matter what the reason is, you must take your medicine on time so that you can recover quickly. The final exam is coming, it's not good to stay in the hospital all the time—"

"What's the use!" I couldn't bear it anymore and turned to face her, "What's the use even if I become the number one in the grade?"

"what?"

"Anyway, from their point of view, these are all taken for granted. No matter how hard I try, I can't match you. What's the use of these?" My voice was a little shrill.The mother had to put a spell on Ms Ware's office door to keep her from waking up.

"Are you sad about this?" The mother seemed to have the urge to laugh, and then said, "Helena, you are too impatient, you are still young, and you will have a long time to surpass me..."

"You don't understand, you have no idea what they say about me!"

"That's all you care about?"

"Of course you don't care, because you already have it! Everything! And I have nothing!"

"Why do you think so?" Mother said in amazement, "Helga, Boleyn, even Salazar...all the teachers are full of praise for you, and no one denies your excellence."

"But they all think it's because of you."

"My God, why do you have such thoughts!"

"You are all ashamed of me," I finally couldn't help crying, "I just want you to be proud of me, but I can't do it."

"I've always been proud of you—"

"How could you be proud of me when you've been avoiding me all this time?" I yelled sadly. "If you weren't the great Rowena Ravenclaw? Why—why you... Are you my mother?"

That night, my mother came to visit me, but I had a big fight with her.Actually, what does this matter to my mother?I can't be as good as she is, but shamefully vent my resentment on her.I blamed her for ignoring me, for making me fatherless, but I forgot that I was the one who refused help, and it was my father who really hurt her.

Perhaps because of the fever, the memory of that night was blurry and incoherent.But I clearly remember the last words my mother said when she left the school hospital.At that time, her face was pale, she hesitated to speak, and after hesitating again and again, she finally spoke:

"Sorry, Helena."

At that time, I was very guilty, and later I regretted that she was apologizing for my mistake, and I regretted that I bit my lip so hard that I didn't say the words that had been churning in my chest countless times and begged her to forgive me.