[Zhongyingmei] dishonest love

"Yes, I love you." This is Peter's answer.

"Thanks." Jenny took his hand, "Thanks for trying to make me happy, I feel better." To say that would be unbelievable, she believed in Peter's level of kindness, and believed that he would do anything to make her feel better , but do not believe that they will be loved.

"I'm sorry, I've become troublesome...give me a few days and I'll be back to normal." At least that's what she's been trying to do.

"You don't have to say sorry for that, it wasn't your fault," Peter said, "I'm there whenever you need someone to listen."

"thanks……"

"You don't have to say thank you." Peter looked into her eyes - full of bewilderment and bewilderment, his chest seemed to be tightened by invisible hands, "Do you want to cry? That will make you feel much better."

cry?I cried, but that just made her more vulnerable, and the old things still make her compromise? !An inexplicable anger arose, and Jane gritted her teeth and shook her head. It is really hopeless to shed tears over this kind of thing: "I don't want to cry." She even wanted to say that she couldn't cry to show that she was completely relieved , but on the premise of knowing how useless I am, saying such aggressive words will only have the opposite effect, it depends on how long I can bear it, and it depends on whether the anger can beat the sadness.

Jenny's thoughts continued to be entangled, and she covered Jenny's eyes with one hand. Her eyes were covered, and a kiss fell gently on her forehead, and then Peter's voice rang in her ears: "Then don't show such an expression "He has managed to make the girl in front of him laugh so many times, but at this moment, he wants her to cry most. Being able to cry means that his heart is still alive. He wants to see her dissatisfied, angry, and vent... and heal.

Peter was also very confused. He didn't even know the reason, and he didn't know what to say if he wanted to comfort her. If the pain could flow with tears, then let her cry. His thoughts were just so simple.

Jenny tried to pull his hand down, but he was extremely stubborn: "If it's because you don't want to be seen by others, then I won't be able to see it, so cry."

"I don't want it!" She refused immediately and continued to struggle with his hand, but her voice was trembling, "Crying is the most useless thing in this world!" She has personally verified it many times, don't use it again This approach hinted at her incompetence.

"It works." Peter let go of his hand and pressed her face into his arms, "I can't say it, but...it's better to cry than to keep it in my heart."

Ever since she knew the truth, she'd had all sorts of bad thoughts—why was she born? !Since you are not loved.Why did this kind of thing happen to her? !She was actually jealous of Peter and everyone she knew around her!Does she get more than others? !Why was he assigned to this fate? !She was so angry that she didn't know who to vent to.These thoughts are extremely ugly, but they can't help but constantly surround them. The self who is trying to jump out of negative thoughts seems to be struggling in a swamp.

Her face was buried in Peter's arms, as he said, even if she cried, no one could see her, but she was still suffering: "Let me go..." It was more than an angry complaint, childish and unreasonable There are both annoying and annoying things, just like at this moment, she still wants to find faults and criticize unreasonably: "Why couldn't you show up earlier..." It would be nice to get to know him earlier, and sooner.

"I'm sorry, I'm late." Peter could feel her struggle and pain, even if it was an unreasonable accusation, he accepted it completely, "If, if there is a next time, I will definitely not be late." He is not that kind of iron-blooded Taking a tough line, he didn't cry too much. Peter's tears came down before he succeeded in making her cry.When did his girlfriend who was afraid of pain and tears become the type who would rather bleed than cry?

The way Jenny erected the defense mechanism to protect herself seemed to him like a small animal lost in the forest—cold and hungry, being chased by a hunter, accidentally stepping on a trap, wanting to cry but afraid of attracting attention. The hunter could only sob silently in his heart.

Jane heard Peter's crying voice, and stopped struggling: "Are you crying?"

Janey's question made Peter speechless, he sniffed and said forcefully, "No..."

This answer did not know what opened her tears, the clothes on her chest were tightened, she cried loudly and sincerely, the miserable cry was mixed with vague words, it took Peter a while to realize that she was crying The content turned out to be "give me a tissue..."

Peter was very happy in his heart, but what he never expected was that Jane could not stop crying. From afternoon to night, from the beginning of the crying, there were a few indistinct crying words mixed in, and at the end, she couldn't stop crying. All hoarse.

He went from touching her head and hugging her to silently handing tissues, and then to testing her thirst (it was he who asked her to cry, it was too embarrassing to ask if she was crying enough), but he was pushed away and continued to cry, Peter watched her crying faintly , and finally opened his arms: "If you want to cry, cry here..." He at least provided a hug, right, otherwise it would be useless to use it as a display next to him.

The person whose eyes were so swollen that she couldn't open her eyes covered her eyes as if she had heard this sentence, and she adjusted her direction and fell into his arms with a hoarse hum. As a white worker, she is not a strong person at all, she can only cry and cry...

As the sky was getting darker, Peter watched the room getting darker and darker, and then the lights came on, and the person who had been buried in his arms for a long time finally gradually became quiet, and Peter heard her breathing rate slow down and then slow down—fall asleep.

He showed his first relaxed expression today, adjusted his posture gently, picked her up and walked into the bedroom, Peter put her on the bed, covered her with the quilt, before he stood up, he was hugged around his neck: "Don't go, I Afraid..." She was afraid of the dark, nightmares, and being alone.

"Are you awake?" Peter leaned against the pillow and did not stand up straight, while Jenny was still hugging his neck.

"Not awake." Jenny let go of him and pulled his sleeves, "Don't leave, okay?"

"I'll twist a towel for you to wipe your face, and find an ice pack to apply to your eyes." Peter said softly, "I won't go."

Jenny let go of her hand reluctantly. She couldn't see Peter's expression clearly in the dark, but he raised his hand and rubbed her head.

Peter came over with a towel and an ice pack, and he didn't forget to go back and show his face before sneaking back to avoid Aunt May worrying about him not coming home at night.

"Shall I turn on the light?" Peter asked her as he returned with a towel and ice pack.

Jenny shook her head, realizing that he might not be able to see it, so she added, "No."

Passing her the towel and ice pack, Peter moved a chair and sat by the bed: "Are you hungry? Do you want to eat something before going to bed?"

"Are you hungry?" After all, she didn't eat two full meals a day. She was hungry but still had no appetite. She asked this question because she was concerned about Peter's stomach.

"A little."

"There doesn't seem to be anything delicious in the refrigerator." Jenny reached into the drawer of the bedside table and fumbled around. "Chocolate, cereal bars, and marshmallows are all for you."

"Aren't you going to eat?"

"I'm not hungry."

Silently replenishing energy, Peter crushed a piece of marshmallow, and the sweet and greasy snack lost its taste.

……

After a long silence, Peter just stared at her vague figure silently in the dimness. She curled up on the bed motionless, and after he finished eating, she stretched out her hand to hold his.Compared with the boys' hands, Jenny's hands are thin and soft, and her strength is completely incomparable, but the fear of losing is still conveyed to Peter-she is extremely insecure.

"Don't be afraid of having nightmares, I'll watch you sleep, go to sleep." Holding her hand behind his back, Peter moved a little closer to the bed.

"Aren't you sleepy? Do you want to sleep together?" The darkness may not be a hindrance to Peter, but for Jane, who has ordinary eyesight, she speculates that Peter's emotions can only be heard through the voice—she said a lot Bad words?He seemed to choke, and then let out a flustered low laugh: "No, I, I won't sleep, I'll just sit."

The depressed mood effectively diverted the introversion that occupied a large part of her character. Jenny's expression was simple and direct: "I want to hug you." She lacked a pillow, so did she have to say it so clearly.Jenny sighed, and pulled the quilt up to the top of her head. If she hadn't been holding one hand, she would have turned her back to him to express her depressed feeling of being rejected.

Her hands were loosened...

Jenny was completely discouraged, turned around and drilled deeper into the bed, and pressed a weight to her side through the quilt. The soft bed sank a little because of the more weight, and the person who climbed on the bed adjusted her posture so as not to press her , and did not forget to declare his innocence: "I didn't take off my clothes."

Jane, who was breathing the sultry air in the bed, was in a complicated mood for a while, and didn't know what to do next, but fortunately, she didn't need to make a choice. The quilt was lifted a little, and she was dragged out of the quilt by Peter to reveal her head and shoulders : "Don't be bored in the quilt, didn't you say you want to hug."

"Can we chat?" Jenny's voice changed a little because of the sourness in her nose.

"What are you talking about?"

"You...don't find it troublesome? Don't you want to throw it away?"

How can there be a truly selfless saint in this world, is "love" sacred?For many people, it is not. Lilith’s obsession with Rosen is an insult to the word “love” in Jane’s view. She has always loved herself, and she looks very beautiful when she is persistent in pursuing love. Is it right?She who is supposed to have a perfect life looks so charming, she is immersed in the fantasy world, she is the unique heroine in her life... Then the heroine suddenly realizes that she has been performing a one-man show all the time, and the hero she believes has always been Taking her as the background, Jane, who was born innocently in this environment, became the curtain of her tragedy.

Jane has been thrown away too many times, but none of them are so unforgettable. The resentment towards Lilith suddenly surpassed that of Rosen. Compared with the bad memories brought by Lilith, Rosen is at best a non-existent background It's really ridiculous that she still asks Rosen for "father's love" at this time.

"Is it troublesome to shovel cat shit?" Peter understood with emotion.

Jane jumped out of the topic, temporarily unable to understand Peter's train of thought: "No trouble, the litter box will be cleaned automatically."

"..." Peter, "Keeping pets is always troublesome..."

"It's really not troublesome, Tom is not clingy." She retorted seriously, "The cat feeder is also automatic, and the bath is also good..."

"Shut up, don't talk. Anyway, what I mean is-you don't give up someone or something you love because of trouble." Peter wouldn't tell her that you weren't trouble at all, yes, it was just a teenager For him, compared to a normal and ordinary adolescent love - from the moment she was Tony Stark's cousin, this relationship has become troublesome, and he himself is not a completely ordinary "love physique". He is Spider-Man, so it is acceptable to be troubled or something, because he likes it, he can be troubled more...

"Am I Tom to you?" She just couldn't keep up with his brain circuits, partly out of mischief.

Peter was speechless, and turned his back to her: "Don't talk to me." Then every few seconds, he said to the person behind him who did not move, "Shut up, hold me tight."

She posted it contentedly, and obediently stopped saying any annoying words.