desensitization therapy

They stayed in Linchuan for two more days.The next day, Song Feijue took Fang Zhilian back home.

In the afternoon when the sun was long, Wen Peitang was pushed by Aunt Yu to the park.When he came back again, he saw Song Feijue, who had come without saying hello, standing upright at the entrance of the corridor, while Fang Zhilian, who was beside him, squatted down, his head almost dropped to the ground, looking extremely sleepy.

Fang Zhilian was indeed extremely sleepy, but it wasn't because he didn't sleep well. In fact, he had already switched to another sleeping pill with less side effects, and slept until dawn in the morning.

When he was about to nod his head again, Fang Zhilian was pulled up by Song Feijue's wrist, before he fully woke up, he heard Wen Peitang's slightly surprised voice.

This house is not too big, with two bedrooms and one living room, it is not a bit worse than the house in the villa before.But fortunately, Aunt Yu knows how to store, so she makes full use of the available space in the room, so that it doesn't look too cramped.

Wen Peitang didn't talk much, just sat on the sofa and smiled softly, helping pour a cup of tea in between.On the other hand, Aunt Yu Fang Zhilian was very enthusiastic, took a bunch of preserved fruit snacks, and filled the coffee table with all her might.

"What do you want to eat tonight?" Aunt Yu asked with a smile, "You guys make a list, I have to go buy some more food."

Fang Zhilian shook his head quickly, and pulled Song Feijue's finger behind his back for help: "No need, auntie."

His fingers were very hot, and his palms were slightly wet with sweat, which was enough to show the degree of tension.

Song Feijue glanced at him, and said to Aunt Yu calmly, "Don't bother, we have an appointment with friends for dinner tonight."

The friend they made an appointment with is Zhu Wen, and they will return to Yanjing tomorrow. Fang Zhilian still has a project in hand, so he can't be absent from work for too long.

"How can this be done?" Aunt Yu refused to agree, "It's rare to go home, how can I not have a meal?"

Before Song Feijue could say anything more, Wen Peitang opened his mouth first, with a faint smile on his eyes: "They are young people who still have young things to do. They will come back to eat another day, the same."

The door of the room was gently closed, leaving a small gap.

"You seem to be really similar to Auntie." Fang Zhilian turned his head and took a look, then whispered to Song Feijue.

He thought about it, but still didn't mention Song Yuming's name.

It was probably the first time Song Feijue heard someone say this, and the corners of his mouth curled up: "Where does it look like?"

"I don't know clearly," Fang Zhilian tried to think back, but still felt that the conclusion he reached when he first met Song Yuming was ridiculous. "To be more precise...it should be a bit like you before."

"Gentleness?" Song Feijue had a clear expression.

"Yes, not exactly." Fang Zhilian was a little confused.

Song Feijue took out a book from the bookshelf and opened it, and said in a very casual tone: "After all, it's a fake, maybe it doesn't look exactly like it."

"what?"

Fang Zhilian stared at his profile, thinking he didn't hear clearly: "What are you pretending to be?"

"To pretend to fit in," Song Feijue casually flipped through two pages of the book in his hand, and closed it again, "like Song Yuming."

This is the first time he has taken the initiative to mention Song Yuming.

On the contrary, Fang Zhilian didn't know what to say, he looked away unnaturally, and only then did he see the name of the book in Song Feijue's hand.

Return to hometown.

"Don't talk nonsense, you don't look alike at all."

Song Feijue didn't continue this topic anymore, put the book back on the shelf, and grabbed Fang Zhilian's twisted fingers: "Are you nervous?"

Fang Zhilian was very honest: "A little bit."

He didn't say the reason for the tension, but this kind of tension can never come from Aunt Yu, so there is only one person left.

"Don't be nervous," Song Feijue let go of his hand, his tone was flat, "It has nothing to do with you, it's not you who caused this result."

Here it is again, Fang Zhilian lowered his head in frustration, he is more afraid of Song Feijue saying something like "it has nothing to do with you" than being nervous.

It seemed as if there was a sharp line between them.

Song Feijue knew what Fang Zhilian was thinking when he saw Fang Zhilian's expression, but he didn't rush to explain.

A faint fragrance wafted from the compartments in the green wood cabinet, and the air conditioner in the living room beeped, turning from sleep to operation.

"You told me that the instigator was your father," Song Feijue suddenly picked up an irrelevant topic, "At that time you asked me, your mother just chose the most correct one among the only two paths available. One, is it wrong?"

Fang Zhilian didn't understand: "And then?"

Song Feijue paused for a moment: "So I said, it has nothing to do with you."

"You are neither the initiator nor the bystander."

Fang Zhilian never thought about Song Feijue's phrase "it has nothing to do with you". It turns out that it really means nothing in the literal sense, not impatient perfunctory, let alone disgust.

"I just feel very dazed," he said in a daze, not knowing what he wanted to say, "Sometimes I think, if I can be more sensitive, or I can come to Sichuan earlier, but..."

However, even if Fang Zhilian grew his wings and flew back more than ten years ago, what should be stopped would still be unstoppable, because his position never appeared in this tragedy from beginning to end.

"If you have to choose a bystander," Song Feijue looked away with a relaxed expression, "that person is probably me."

After a few seconds of silence, no one spoke again.

Cicada began to yell endlessly outside the window.

Song Feijue heard Fang Zhilian say softly, "Can you stop talking about yourself like that?"

He raised his head and looked sideways at Fang Zhilian's expression.

Fang Zhilian looked very unhappy, maybe more precisely sad, the corners of his mouth curled down, as if he was going to cry in the next second.

But he was no longer a seventeen or eighteen-year-old child, he cried whenever he wanted to, and laughed whenever he wanted to.He just repeated it very seriously: "Don't talk about yourself like that again."

"Don't say you look like that person." Fang Zhilian didn't even bother to mention Song Yuming's name, he met Song Feijue's gaze, "You are not alike at all. I don't know if the genetics are accurate, yes No, but you're not him, and you're not a bystander. You're fine, you're just you."

Fang Zhilian said something inexplicably, but felt that his tone was a bit too blunt, so he added a last resort: "Is it okay?"

Song Feijue laughed, from the tip of his brow to the corner of his lips, the rippling smile was brighter than the spring breeze.

"Well," he touched Fang Zhilian's face, and replied in a low voice, "It's all over."

Summer is the most suitable iced mung bean soup. Aunt Yu has nowhere to show her good cooking skills, so she had to cook some mung bean syrup for them.

Song Feijue went out to help Aunt Yu ice the mung bean soup, Fang Zhilian wandered around the room for a while, and was about to go out.

Aunt Yu occasionally lived in this room, so it wasn't Song Feijue's real room, and because of this, Fang Zhilian couldn't find too many traces of his life in the room for the past eight years.

During the short stay, Wen Peitang came in in a wheelchair.

"It's hard for you to come back once, and Auntie hasn't been able to treat you well." Wen Peitang waved his hand, and smiled to indicate that Fang Zhilian, who came to help her, was okay.

"I came to disturb you suddenly." Fang Zhilian also smiled awkwardly.

Of course Wen Peitang denied it, took his hand and sat down to start chatting.

Fang Zhilian didn't like to stare at Wen Peitang all the time, and only occasionally glanced at him between conversations.He found that Wen Peitang had indeed changed a lot, he couldn't tell whether it was his temperament or his demeanor, but his brows and eyes were still gentle and charming. For a moment, Fang Zhilian looked at her and thought of Cara.

Wen Peitang didn't mention much about the past, and a lot of what he said was recent.She said that she was learning to make wool felt key chains recently, and wanted to see if she could sell some to relieve Song Feijue's pressure. She also said that Fang Zhilian would definitely like Aunt Yu's craftsmanship.

Of course, it was Song Feijue who mentioned it the most. Probably mothers all over the world never tire of talking. Fang Zhilian heard her talk a lot about Song Feijue's two years since he came out.

"By the way, there are still photos." Wen Peitang seemed to remember something suddenly, she couldn't stand up, so she had to trouble Fang Zhilian, "Xiao Fang, look at the bookshelf, there is a USB flash drive."

Fang Zhilian agreed, searched around but couldn't find it, only found an SD card, he handed the card to Wen Peitang: "Is it here?"

Wen Peitang didn't understand these things, and after looking at it for a long time, he couldn't see why, so he shook his head and handed it back to Fang Zhilian.

It happened that there was an adapter plug next to the power plug. Fang Zhilian studied it a bit, then inserted the adapter plug into the phone, and then inserted the SD card into it.

He didn't think too much about it when he was doing this, but he didn't feel abrupt until the video on the SD card popped up, and after realizing it, he remembered and asked Wen Peitang: "Auntie, can this be opened?"

Wen Peitang didn't seem to have much impression of this SD card either, and upon hearing this, he just smiled and nodded, letting him be more casual, and went out again.

As soon as the screen went black, there was silence for the first few seconds.

"This video is for Fang Zhilian's classmate ten years later."

Fang Zhilian's body froze suddenly, and he recognized the voice as Duan Jiayu's.

But why is this video in Song Feijue's memory card?

The screen suddenly lit up, it was the classroom at dusk, 17-year-old Fang Zhilian faced the camera with an embarrassed expression: "Teacher Duan, you are too close to me."

Duan Jiayu stepped back a little, and the camera image also shook.

"Come on, I want to say something to myself ten years from now."

The 17-year-old Fang Zhilian rolled his eyes: "Teacher Duan, can I go out and record a section myself? I'm a little embarrassed to say that when you are here."

Duan Jiayu's voice came from outside the screen: "Why are you embarrassed? Don't treat the teacher as an outsider."

Fang Zhilian on the screen began to chatter again, but fortunately, Duan Jiayu smiled teasingly, as if he was a mirror to the careful thoughts of these young girls, and handed him the camera.

It seems that he is really not suitable for learning photography, Fang Zhilian thought in his heart, the camera shakes more violently than Duan Jiayu in the hands of the 17-year-old himself.

A messy video of going upstairs has passed, and the camera has changed to the classroom again.However, it is not as empty as the classroom just now. The angle of view of Fang Zhilian's shooting is obviously from the back door. This classroom is full of students.

The 17-year-old Fang Zhilian is only a little more sensitive. He didn't zoom in on the camera, and didn't speak. He just quietly took pictures of the backs of Song Feijue as the center.

"Crack." Fang Zhilian heard his own voice dubbing softly outside the camera.

Then there was another video of going downstairs. Duan Jiayu was still waiting for him in the classroom. When he saw the person came back, he said clearly, "Did you go to shoot the girl you like?"

The screen trembled visibly with the naked eye, and Fang Zhilian heard the 17-year-old himself deny guilty: "No."

Duan Jiayu had seen too much, so he just laughed jokingly, not to expose him: "Okay, I will record a summary at the end, tidy up the school uniform."

The camera refocuses on Fang Zhilian.

Fang Zhilian saw his 17-year-old self smiling at the camera on the screen, his eyes were crooked, and the collar of his school uniform was still crooked.

At the age of 17, he faced the camera, expressing his sincere love implicitly and recklessly.

26-year-old Fang Zhilian ran his fingers over and over again the SD card that was half-inserted in the conversion socket.

There were constant sounds of clashing utensils in the kitchen. Aunt Yu called Fang Zhilian to come over to eat the freshly washed cherries. Just as Wen Peitang called her, she wiped her hands with her apron and hurried over.

Song Feijue opened the top shelf of the refrigerator, and the ice cubes of the mung bean soup hadn't frozen yet, with a swaying layer of water attached to it.

Fang Zhilian hesitated for a while, confirmed the conversation between Aunt Yu and Wen Peitang in another room, walked over slowly, and hugged Song Feijue's waist from behind.

The air conditioner has just been turned on, and the indoor temperature has not dropped.Fang Zhilian didn't seem too hot, and his arms were tightly bound.

"What's wrong?" Song Feijue paused, then turned his head to look at Fang Zhilian.

"It's nothing." Fang Zhilian put his lips on his back, which was separated by a layer of fabric, and kissed secretly.

There is always a strange smell of green lemons in the kitchen, which is probably the taste of emotional fermentation that is expected, bitter, sour, and sweet.

"I just realized suddenly," Fang Zhilian hugged Song Feijue, his heartbeat returned to a steady calm at that moment, "Every moment I think of you, you seem to be thinking of me too."

The author says:

Rework this chapter tomorrow