desensitization therapy

He should have expected such a day to come.

Like a Ping An fruit wrapped in printed cellophane, good or bad, immature and sour or overripe and rotten, sooner or later it will be pulled out to reveal its true colors.

Fang Zhilian could lie to Song Feijue that it was just a box of sleeping pills, but maybe he couldn't say it was a lie.

"It's sleeping pills." He grabbed the tablet with only two pills left in his palm, lowered his head very low, avoiding Song Feijue's sight, "I'll take one every time I miss you."

"It may be due to allergies to the ingredients... or the side effects of the sleeping pill itself. I often have hallucinations and auditory hallucinations, and I will see you. It's like a dream, a good dream or a bad dream."

For those who received Christmas Eve gifts, it was just a game of unboxing.

For the Ping An Guo, which is carefully hidden under the cellophane, there are only two fates waiting: to be held in the palm of the hand, and to be thrown into the trash can.

Song Feijue's gaze on him seemed to suddenly become heavy and extremely weighty.It's not pleading for mercy as a bystander, let alone being indifferent.

But Fang Zhilian didn't know, he didn't dare to look up.

Song Feijue straightened his face and looked directly at him.

"I forgot when it started. In fact, it was just to sleep well at first." Fang Zhilian tried to rub the complicated lines on Song Feijue's palm with the tip of his nose, but his voice was still very hoarse. Recalling, "The first hallucination occurred. I saw you taking pictures in a very dark place like an iron cage, with no windows around. Your hair was cut very short, and you just looked at me with a blank expression... Why me? I heard the sound of the flash and the shutter overlapping, and I realized that I was the one taking the picture."

Fang Zhilian smiled like he was crying, it was strange, his eye sockets were dry, but no tears flowed out.Perhaps it was because his face was buried in Song Feijue's palm.

"I comforted myself that it was just an illusion," Fang Zhilian said, "but as long as I think that you may have a worse life in it than in the illusion... No, yes, I will blame myself for not being able to accompany you in the pain. "

He was the softest in that rain, he was not even willing to get Song Feijue wet.

"So you don't want to take pictures." Song Feijue's ending sound was very soft.

Fang Zhilian shook his head, he raised his face, and finally met that gaze.

"Later, I had hallucinations many times, which were strange and normal. When I wanted to see you, I took a pill, it was like an addiction, and I couldn't quit." Fang Zhilian paused, and added without confidence, "But not now."

Song Feijue's eyes glanced at the crumpled tablet of medicine on the table, and then returned to Fang Zhilian's eyes.

"You can continue to be addicted to me," he said.

Fang Zhilian looked at Song Feijue, as if he didn't understand what he meant, and his expression looked a little silly.

"There is a treatment method called desensitization therapy," Song Feijue explained to him in a straightforward way. "The addictive thing is always in front of his eyes, and the addictive food is eaten until he gets tired of it, until he develops a tolerance and is no longer addicted. This is desensitization. Min."

"So can I take medicine all the time?" Fang Zhilian was a little confused, he felt like he understood it, but he didn't seem to understand it yet.

"No." Song Feijue smiled.

"Don't be addicted to fakes, be addicted to me."

His pitch-black eyelashes were bent down, and the arc was very shallow.That face still made Fang Zhilian's heart flutter uncontrollably, just like the first time they met in the cramped alley in the back street of the school.

Fang Zhilian thought, that was probably the smartest time in his life.He had known for a long time that he would be addicted to Song Feijue, so he chose wisely to get up and run away.

But in the end, he will still hold these hands.

Fang Zhilian blinked. Instead of answering Song Feijue, he asked a nonsensical question: "Are the apples and oranges I gave you sweet on Christmas Eve?"

Song Feijue glanced at him, as if helpless.

"Sour," he said, "both apples and oranges. You seem really gullible."

Fang Zhilian grabbed the corner of Song Feijue's clothes, buried his face in it, and said quietly but firmly, "But you've finished eating."

"Yes." Song Feijue answered him.

Fang Zhilian exhaled deeply, his eyes were sour, but the corners of his mouth were raised.

He will never tell Song Feijue that addicted things can be desensitized, and addicted foods can also be desensitized.

But methamphetamine will not.

His infatuation with Song Feijue will never expire.

That afternoon, Fang Zhilian confessed to Song Feijue many things, such as Cara, the white female doctor in the psychological clinic, such as the lost red coral bracelet, and such as the Shaqima he had seen in the hallucination.

"I saw you eating Shaqima," Fang Zhilian wanted to cry again when he said this, he felt a little silly and embarrassed, "You obviously don't like sweets...but the prison only sells chocolates And Shaqima, and other people will bully you, there are often fights inside, and..."

For the first time, Song Feijue showed a look of having a headache.

"Don't cry." He squeezed Fang Zhilian's lips like a duckling.

Fang Zhilian finally calmed down.

"I'm sorry," Fang Zhilian still unconsciously moved his eyes down when he was lying, even he himself didn't notice this habit, "I lost the original bracelet."

Song Feijue didn't speak.

Fang Zhilian hesitated for a few seconds, but decided to turn his face to look at his expression, but the fingers that were close together were suddenly caught.

Song Feijue grabbed his fingertips and easily pulled off the white coral bracelet on his wrist, and the bracelet was locked onto Fang Zhilian's wrist in a gesture of interlocking fingers.

Their fingertips were still stuck together and did not loosen.Fang Zhilian was startled, and turned to look at Song Feijue.

"Don't lose it again."

Song Feijue raised his hand to hook the black line, and spoke to Fang Zhilian very calmly.

In the evening, Chen Langqing finally remembered that there was the No. [-] wounded person who asked for leave in the studio, so he called Fang Zhilian and asked him if he was still feeling bad at night, and if he wanted to have a meal together to make up for it, he treated him.

Fang Zhilian covered the receiver and asked Song Feijue's opinion, then asked Chen Langqing, "Can I take my boyfriend?"

"You have to be together for a meal?" Chen Langqing laughed at him, "Okay, come on, you don't need two mouths."

An hour later, Chen Langqing was sitting on the sofa in the lobby, staring at Song Feijue and then at Fang Zhilian, "Is this your boyfriend?"

Chen Langqing recalled when he was in the resort, and suddenly realized that Wu Muwei had never told him what Song Feijue's name was.

Otherwise, he wouldn't have given others the nickname Xiaoshuai.

Until ordering, Chen Langqing still kept turning pale while thinking about it.Fang Zhilian didn't see the discomfort he said when he sent a WeChat request for leave in the morning, his complexion was ruddy and shiny, as if he had just finished two boxes of melatonin in one sitting.

The restaurant that Chen Langqing ordered was a restaurant that is famous for its Huaiyang cuisine, which was just in line with Fang Zhilian's preference for not eating spicy food.

But Chen Langqing ate very unhappy. On the one hand, he had no taste in his mouth, and on the other hand, he wanted to ask Fang Zhilian what was going on. Didn't he mean that he was reunited with his first love?Why did he become so handsome in the blink of an eye?Or are they the same person at all?

Fang Zhilian didn't receive Chen Langqing's wink at all, and he still ate happily.

In the end, Chen Langqing couldn't take it anymore, and found an excuse to go out to smoke, but as soon as he went outside and sent a WeChat message asking Fang Zhilian what was going on, Song Feijue followed.

"Smoking?" Song Feijue had a good attitude, holding the cigarette case between his fingers and handing it over.

"No need." Chen Langqing smiled subtly at him.

Chen Langqing has always been very wary of this kind of cold-faced handsome guy's inexplicable overtures, because the last person who did this ended up robbing his girlfriend.

Song Feijue didn't show the embarrassment of being rejected, but calmly put the cigarette case back into his pocket, and naturally stood in the shelter beside Chen Langqing, and lit a cigarette with lowered eyes.

Chen Langqing took a step to the side, counting down with Xiao Jiujiu in his heart.

"As a person meeting for the first time, it might be impolite for me to ask such a question," Song Feijue said frankly, "but I want to know something about his time in the United States, sorry."

Alarm bells rang in Chen Langqing's heart, and he came.

"Actually, we didn't know each other very well at the time." Chen Langqing shook his cigarette ash, turned his face away, and began to pretend to be stupid, "Didn't we all return to China later? We gradually got to know each other when our old classmates met."

Song Feijue smiled faintly: "Really, but I heard him talk a lot about your college days."

Why did Fang Zhilian say this?Chen Langqing choked suddenly.

If you can't pretend to be stupid, you can just be tough. Chen Langqing said as tactfully as possible: "Couples need some little secrets for fun. Besides, since you are first love, what can't you ask directly? It's hard for me to ask me like this." ..."

"I just want to know about his hallucinations," Song Feijue interrupted Chen Langqing's eloquent talk about Love Sutra, "Is it really a side effect of the medicine?"

"What did you say?" Chen Langqing was stunned.

"He said he would have hallucinations after taking the medicine, and he met a psychologist named Cara, who gave him a long period of psychological treatment during that time," Song Feijue paused for a while, fingertips The sparks almost stopped together with time, and he stated bluntly, "I want to contact her."

"Cara?"

Chen Langqing looked up at him with strange eyes, as if hesitating for something.Then he raised the cigarette that was almost burning to the end, and suddenly took a deep breath, the smoke rings he exhaled lingered in the illusory air.

"I have hallucinations because of taking medicine." Chen Langqing shook his head, feeling very unbearable, and suddenly understood something, "Did Fang Zhilian tell you that?"

"There's no such thing as Cara."

The author says:

Do you think this chapter is pretty sweet?