desensitization therapy

Fang Zhilian's running seemed a little bit like running away. He didn't stop until he ran outside the theater door without turning his head. His open palms were covered with sticky cold sweat, mixed with the shattered hair that couldn't be broken any more. Half a cigarette butt.

The sound of the beating heart sounded like a violent gasp. Fang Zhilian tightly held the cigarette butt in his palm, squatting at the door of the theater with out-of-focus eyes.

I don't know how long it took for the show to end. Gradually, the audience came out. Tang Ting also mixed in with the few people who went out. Holding Fang Zhilian's coat in his arms, he looked around probingly.

Before Tang Ting saw him, Fang Zhilian stood up first. He walked around to the side door and threw the cigarette butt away, then came out and patted Tang Ting on the shoulder.

"Why did you go to the bathroom for so long?" Tang Ting didn't have to guess it was him, turned around, and suddenly asked vigilantly, "Why do you smell like cigarettes?"

Fang Zhilian said without changing his face, "Someone was smoking outside just now."

Tang Ting said "oh" in doubt, and wanted to ask something, but Fang Zhilian had already walked a few steps forward and stopped a taxi: "Tell me when you get home."

"Okay," Tang Ting responded smoothly, and only when she opened the car door did she feel something was wrong, "What? You're not going home for dinner?"

"I won't go back, I'll be back on New Year's Eve."

"Is there any conflict between today's meeting and New Year's Eve meeting..."

Fang Zhilian didn't answer. He took the overcoat Tang Ting was holding, watched her sit in the back seat sullenly, and turned to report the address to the driver in the front seat.

Tang Ting lowered the car window, showing a half unhappy face: "Brother, then you come back early on New Year's Eve, in the morning."

"Okay," Fang Zhilian said, after thinking about it, he added, "Take Crescent Moon back."

Tang Ting's little emotions came and went quickly, and he waved to him in a good mood when he heard that, and left with peace of mind.

Fang Zhilian watched the car disappear into the crowded traffic, patted the remaining soot on his hands, and then reached out to stop a taxi.

It was past seven o'clock when I got home, and Crescent Moon didn't come to welcome her as usual, and she didn't know where she went.Fang Zhilian added food and water to her, went back to the bedroom and fell asleep under the blanket.

He originally thought that he would not be able to fall asleep, but if he didn't think about it, he seemed to be able to temporarily deafen his ears and steal the bell.

This sleep lasted for a long time without any dreams. When Fang Zhilian woke up, it was still dark, and he couldn't tell the time.

The screen of the mobile phone was on, and Fang Zhilian flipped through it roughly. Tang Ting said he was going home, Ah Rui asked him if he couldn't make it through the night, and there was a voice call from Chen Langqing. They didn't receive any of them. .

Fang Zhilian replied to Ah Rui first, and he told Ah Rui that he would not be going for the next few days, and then replied to Chen Langqing with a question mark. Unexpectedly, Chen Langqing called him just a few seconds after he sent the message.

Chen Langqing was Fang Zhilian's middle and high school classmate in Pingyi. Later, when he came to the United States, he happened to meet in the same state by accident. It can be regarded as a close friendship.

Fang Zhilian answered the phone in a daze, and looked up to see the time displayed on the top, which was 02:30 in the morning.

On the other end of the call, Chen Langqing had already started talking, but Fang Zhilian didn't hear what he was saying at all, so he put on a few perfunctory words, turned on the phone speakerphone, and went to the kitchen to pour water.

When he came back, Yue Yue was lying on his seat, curiously tapping the screen of the phone with her paws, and when she saw him coming back, she jumped out of the bed and ran away.

"You send me your ID number, and I'll book you a ticket for the first year of junior high school..." Chen Langqing was still talking at the other end.

Fang Zhilian was at a loss: "What kind of air ticket should I buy?"

The other end was silent for two seconds, then he gritted his teeth and said, "Fang Zhilian, you didn't wake up when you promised me, did you?"

Chen Langqing replayed the set with Fang Zhilian from beginning to end, and this time Fang Zhilian heard clearly.

Not long ago, Chen Langqing told him to let him visit the newly opened studio in Yanjing next year and study the partnership together. Fang Zhilian agreed at that time, but he didn't take it seriously, and he has long since forgotten about it.

"Is the first day of junior high school too early?" Fang Zhilian rubbed his forehead and felt completely awake.

Chen Langqing himself is a veritable idiot rich second generation. When he first returned to China, he was engaged in catering and lost money. Later, after thinking about franchise projects for a while, he lost money again. This time he opened a landscape design studio. I don't know how long it can last.

But Fang Zhilian wasn't just worried about losing money. He hesitated mostly because his friends and partners couldn't figure out what to do with the money. Chen Langqing probably knew his worries: "Just take a look at the environment, and I'll take you to Yanjing again." Play around, don't be so psychologically burdened, if you succeed, if you don't, you won't succeed."

Fang Zhilian couldn't find a reason to refuse, and subconsciously he didn't want to find it anymore. Instead of staying in Linchuan and thinking about Song Feijue and that tiny possibility every day, he now tends to escape by deceiving himself and others.

He promised Chen Langqing, hung up the phone, stared at the ceiling in a daze, but couldn't fall asleep.

On the night of New Year's Eve, Fang Zhilian took Yueya and a pile of cat litter and cat food back home.It was Tang Jitong who came to open the door, Fang Zhilian greeted Tang Jitong politely, changed into slippers and entered the door.

Tang Ting was playing games in the bedroom, but when she heard the knock on the door, she ran out quickly. She put Crescent Moon out of the carrying bag. Crescent Moon was obviously more familiar with this house. She sniffed Tang Ting's trousers, and rubbed her head against the Twice, snoring and acting coquettishly.

Fang Zhilian looked envious and surprised, squatted down and wanted to touch her, but Yueya didn't show her face, and ran away.

Cheng Lei was sitting on the sofa in the living room reading a book. She was wearing a pair of silver-rimmed glasses and drinking coffee slowly from a mug.

"Mom." Fang Zhilian called Cheng Lei, and Cheng Lei looked up at him.

Fang Zhilian took advantage of the opportunity and sat down on the sofa opposite her. The two of them were silent for a while, neither of them had anything to say.Fang Zhilian was counting down the countdown in her heart, and was just about to find an excuse to play with Tang Ting on Crescent Moon, when Cheng Lei suddenly asked, "Have you found a job yet?"

"No," Fang Zhilian said, "but I might go to Yanjing after the next year."

Cheng Lei's expression softened a little, and she put down her mug: "It's fine to go to Yanjing. After you work there, get married and start a family, it's convenient for me to take Tingting to see you."

That's not what she said at the time. Fang Zhilian thought for no reason that Cheng Lei yelled hysterically on the phone the day he returned to China, asking him if he came back to find Song Feijue, and if he was determined to hate her, so he wanted Be gay.

The old Fang Zhilian does not have the ability and confidence to win the quarrel with Cheng Lei, and the 26-year-old Fang Zhilian has no reason or need to quarrel with Cheng Lei anymore.

So Fang Zhilian nodded and said yes.

"When you come back and Fang Huo," Cheng Lei paused and changed his words, "Have you contacted your father?"

"not yet."

"Call him tonight to say New Year's greetings, lest outsiders fan the flames in his ears and say you are rude."

"Ok."

The two gave orders and agreed, and then fell silent for a while. Fortunately, this awkward atmosphere didn't last long, and Tang Jitong and Tang Ting changed their coats and came out.

The New Year's Eve dinner was pre-booked at the hotel. With Tang Ting enlivening the atmosphere at the table, the meal can be regarded as a happy meal.

It was snowing when we went out, and Tang Jitong went to drive. Fang Zhilian took out his mobile phone and used the software to hail a taxi. Tang Ting leaned over to look at his mobile phone screen, and asked curiously, "Brother, are you not going home today? Mom will tidy up your room." gone."

Before Fang Zhilian could figure out how to speak to Cheng Lei, Tang Ting shook his head. He glanced at Cheng Lei's expression, and it really turned ugly.

Cheng Lei's mood in recent years is often cloudy and uncertain.When Fang Zhilian was living alone in the United States, she received her video several times late at night. In the video, Cheng Lei nervously asked him to use the camera to shoot every corner of the room. After confirming that no man was present, she would calm down again and ask Fang Zhilian How is Lian doing recently, whether he has a girlfriend, and whether he has enough money.

In the beginning, Fang Zhilian often felt palpitations when receiving her video calls in the middle of the night, but later it became a habit and became numb.

"I'm on the plane to Yanjing tomorrow morning," Fang Zhilian tugged Tang Ting's ponytail to stop her from continuing, and explained to Cheng Lei, "My friend's studio, I want to partner with him. The next time I go is to investigate."

The expression on Cheng Lei's face finally calmed down a bit.

It happened that Tang Jitong's car drove over, and Cheng Lei said, "Get in the car and take you home."

Fang Zhilian told a harmless little lie: "No need, I have called a car."

Cheng Lei glanced at him indifferently, opened the car door and went in without saying anything.

"Remember to bring me special products." Tang Ting shook the ponytail that was loosened by Fang Zhilian, took the opportunity to sneak up on him, turned around and ran into the car.

It was not easy to take a taxi on New Year's Eve, and because of the snow, Fang Zhilian was frozen in front of the hotel for nearly an hour before the driver took the order.

There was not much traffic jam on the way back, and the road was smooth.

It wasn't until he entered the elevator room that Fang Zhilian realized that he had forgotten his key card. He walked out slowly, wondering if there was anyone on duty on New Year's Eve.

Fortunately, the door to the corridor was not closed.

Fang Zhilian walked up the stairs from floor to floor. Although this apartment building is located in the central block, it has been around for a certain period of time, and the apartment size is too large, so few people live alone.

Passing through the fifth floor, Fang Zhilian heard the sound of the Spring Festival Gala playing from the corridor, mixed with the sound of talking and clinking glasses, it was lively.

He stood quietly in the corridor. After a while, he slowly lowered his body and sat down on the steps with his knees hugged.

In the corridor in the middle of the night, every bit of sound would be infinitely amplified and clearly audible, but at this moment it was distinctly silent.

It's like a small empty space.

Fang Zhilian rested his head on his folded knees, like a puppy warming himself, shivering, pitifully.

I don't know how long it took, but it was so long that Fang Zhilian was about to fall asleep dizzily. He turned on his phone, and it was midnight in a few minutes.

The interface of the dial pad was glowing with white light, and Fang Zhilian entered a series of familiar numbers.In eight years, after being tortured countless times by the Ebbinghaus forgetting curve, he is still familiar with these 11 digits.

As in the dream, he pressed dial.

The sound of firecrackers suddenly sounded outside the window, and Fang Zhilian raised his head suddenly, as if he could smell the smell of nitrate mixed with the air.

He didn't notice that the calling on the screen had changed to 00:02.

"This is the last year. Starting next year, we won't be able to set off fireworks in the urban area," Fang Zhilian seemed to be talking to himself, and seemed to be confessing to someone, "I couldn't watch the last scene with you." What a pity for the fireworks of the year."

The sound of firecrackers sounded again, and the family on the fifth floor seemed to be about to go out. Fang Zhilian heard footsteps, the sound of the elevator running, and the hostess reminding the children to be careful when setting off fireworks.

"Happy birthday." Fang Zhilian said, "If you can't be the first to wish you a happy birthday, just be the last."

There was silence on the other end of the phone.

Song Feijue held the phone, and what he heard was the stolen time, which gave time and space the power to freeze.

At zero o'clock, he heard Fang Zhilian's nasal grunt.

"Happy New Year, this time is the first."

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