silver sea

The reality show is still in the preparation stage, and it is said that the recording will not start until early December, so the three-city tour arranged by Liu Wangyu has to go on as usual.

With the first game, the rest will be easy.

At the beginning, Qiu Sheng was worried about what to do if he couldn't pass his test when he came to the stage, and he couldn't make a sound with his mouth, but he gradually realized that this worry was a bit too nervous.Maybe the psychological suggestion of repeatedly persuading "you're okay" is really working, maybe the alprazolam in the speaker that made him stable has returned. Got a response every time.

But as soon as he left the performance venue, he and Wen Youxia quickly returned to the state of cold war again. They were very close but rarely spoke, and cared less about each other. They were a pair of indifferent bitter couples.

Qiu Sheng even thought that maybe Wen Youxia was right.Their ordinary cooperative relationship can also make him calm down, and he doesn't have to worry about whether Wen Youxia is following him, which saves him a lot of trouble out of thin air.

But is he really content with the status quo?

He wants everything, Wen Youxia's everything.

Qiu Sheng began to compete with himself again.

The last show of the three-city tour was in Lingang, the provincial capital next door, and they chartered a car to go there, which was considered a short trip southward.Qiu Sheng sat at the end of the bus, crossed one leg, and blocked Wen Youxia by the window.

The bass case was lying across the two seats between them, and part of it was on Wen Youxia's body.He kept looking at the scenery outside the window, the highway and the harvested pastoral scenery were boring, Qiu Sheng wanted to chat with him several times, and turned his head sideways, Wen Youxia's eyes were staring, as if his spirit had gone out of his body.

After all, they couldn't talk, Qiu Sheng didn't get carsick, but he started to feel sleepy after sitting in the back.He ignored people, but Wen Youxia suddenly asked him when he was about to arrive at the hotel: "How's your back?"

"It's not that good." Qiu Sheng's face was sullen. It's fine if he doesn't mention it, but if he mentions it, it will only make people unhappy.

Wen Youxia felt conscious, and soon stopped talking. The roar from the rear of the minibus can make people dizzy.Just when Qiu Sheng thought that he continued to return to the state where silence is golden, Wen Youxia hugged the bass piano case inexplicably.

He moved a position to this side and said in a low voice, "I'm sorry about what happened that day."

Relying on the identity of the victim, Qiu Sheng immediately began to smack his nose and face to death. He rolled his eyes slightly: "Wen Haoqian, how old is he, can't he speak? You need to apologize for him? You are not his own." Brother, can you wipe his ass for the rest of his life? Continue to pamper him, and I will wait and see if he will really go in someday."

Qiu's voice was not low, and Allen, who was sitting in the front row, turned his head strangely. After seeing the low air pressure between the two of them, he quickly turned back and hurriedly chatted with Lu Yining.

"Not for him." Wen Youxia waited for him to vent before continuing, "I said it for myself, I'm sorry."

"You didn't apologize to me, it was my own fault."

Wen Youxia frowned in embarrassment, he didn't mean that, he apologized for not going out earlier to stop Wen Haoqian, and also for making Qiu Sheng wronged.Just still organizing his words, Qiu Sheng said: "I wish you didn't have that home so that I can take you far away, there's no point in apologizing, Wen Youxia, you know I don't want to hear this."

"You don't know what I want either."

"I asked, did you say?"

"Did I tell you to give it?"

"You said."

"I want that song back."

"I can't." Qiu Sheng simply said, "I'll write a new one to compensate you."

Wen Youxia remained silent.

He was touched at the deepest point of disagreement between the two.

Copyright is not a problem, nor is an idea.Their song was supposed to be released properly, most officially as the front stop of the second album, but it was suddenly taken by someone else, the arrangement technique was almost exactly the same, the melody and the meaning of the lyrics were similar, anyone could see it as plagiarism .

But they have no evidence to defend their rights, and they may be beaten by the other side instead.

Later Qiu Sheng said that he wanted to find Bai Yanhui, and he blamed Wen Youxia for letting Bai Yanhui come to listen to their rehearsal that day.Wen Youxia knew he was wronged, so he didn't go, Qiu Sheng disappeared for an afternoon, and after returning to their rehearsal room, he announced calmly: "I gave him the copyright, no signature."

Wen Youxia usually has a good temper, and she does everything according to Qiu Sheng's wishes, but that day she was overwhelmed by these words, and she pushed Qiu Sheng into a corner like she lost her mind.

A large piece of equipment was knocked down, and Qiu Sheng's nose kept bleeding from knocking somewhere.Gu Qi went to see how Qiu Sheng was doing, but Lu Yining stopped him and advised him to "don't do anything".Qiu Sheng was supported by Gu Qi, stumbled to his feet, blood flowed onto the newly made band T-shirt, staining the top of the mountain red, and repeated three times in disbelief: "You pushed me?"

He always just wanted to get back what belonged to him. Four years ago, they were poor and white, and Qiu Sheng had no choice, so he resented himself for being too useless.

Now everything is better, Qiu Sheng still said: "I can't give it."

After such a long time, Wen Youxia seemed to be cut open again, and couldn't help but hugged the bass piano case tightly.He is a person who is very difficult to get angry, but this incident only made him angry. Some words, knowingly hurting others, still rushed out of his lips like losing his mind.

"Can you pay for the new one?" He said coldly, "Then I should find a new boyfriend."

In the front row, Lu Yining caught a few words in the dark and stood up to stop him: "Wen Xia!"

But it was too late, Qiu Sheng suddenly grabbed Wen Youxia and pushed him to the window of the car, the driver of the minibus didn't notice the change, and just turned right according to the sign.Inertia and strength stacked together, Wen Youxia hit the car window, the bass case hit his face, and he wiped the tip of his nose when he moved away.

red, blood.

A Lian gasped, and hurriedly handed the tissue over here.

"Don't give it to him!" Qiu Sheng stood, regardless of the fact that the minibus was still moving and his posture was very dangerous, condescending, "I know you are uncomfortable, you are sad, so I am not uncomfortable or sad? Isn't the song just that one?" First, can you stop admitting death, Wen Youxia! You can’t live without that song? Do you like it so much? Are you planning to record an album and burn it for me when I die, or prepare a compilation album to play at my fucking funeral? Ah?! I don’t want to get it back? Fuck me, I’ve been making money day and night for so many years, do you think I’m really doing it for myself? Either you shut up, or now you earn enough liquidated damages of 500 million, and I’ll immediately say nothing Find someone to expose that bastard, can you?! Can, can you?!"

A Lian froze in place holding the tissue box, witnessing this scene was obviously more shocking than the first time she saw Lu Yining and Qiu Sheng pinching each other, she was immediately at a loss.Lu Yining patted Alian on the shoulder and brought him back to his seat, pressed his index finger on his lips, and silently shook his head to signal her to leave it alone.

There was a deathly silence in the minibus, as if everyone had been sucked into a deep trench.

"...I'm sorry." Wen Youxia wiped away the nosebleed with one hand, "I was too excited just now, I didn't blame you for saying the wrong thing."

Qiu Sheng became dumb all of a sudden.

He couldn't hear Youxia's apology.

Whether it was the time when they were so good, or the time when they were quarreling, Wen Youxia said "I'm sorry" more than him.Every time she said these three words, Wen Youxia's voice was always lower than deep, which made Qiu Sheng uncontrollably soft-hearted.

At first, Qiu Sheng thought that Wen Youxia's "I'm sorry" was a way to make him stop losing his temper, but gradually he found that Wen Youxia sincerely felt guilty for his anger, discomfort, and anxiety, as if this was the relationship between him and him. Part of what he was born to bear - his bizarre and deformed "family" made him terrified all day long.

What is wrong?

Then I'll change it, don't be unhappy, don't abandon me.

He is in his twenties, and has been abandoned three times by his biological parents, adoptive parents, and respected band predecessors. The first reaction when encountering things is to blame himself, whether right or wrong.

No one is born with indifference and alienation, Wen Youxia's feelings are just worn down too much.He is a shell full of thorns, with sharp teeth and claws on the outside to fight against everything, but weak on the inside, he carefully seeks balance in the world.

So after realizing this, Qiu Sheng was no longer willing to hear him say "I'm sorry".

Wen Youxia doesn't need to be perfect, and doesn't need to be careful with him, they can still hug after their quarrel.

But it's better not to fight.

Qiu Sheng only hoped that after scolding Wen Youxia today, he could stop for a while, at least finish the three-city tour properly.

Touring is another word that gives him a headache.

If the reorganization of the band is so unhappy, Qiu Sheng can only use "self-abuse" and "redemption" to explain it.

They made an album that they both identified as the theme of "ideal world", made up for the song You Xia didn't hear, and persisted until the end of the unfinished southern tour, marking a belated end to four years ago.

Qiu Sheng sat back in the back row and was silent for a long time, knowing that many eyes in the front row were secretly looking at him.There was a lot of grievance in his chest, and he wanted to yell, Wen Youxia, listen up.

He wanted to say, don't quarrel with me, please let me beg you, but the high decibel just now made his throat tear like pain, Qiu Sheng didn't say anything after all, he just turned his back to Wen Youxia.

After arriving in Lingang, first go to the tour venue to check out the spots, also in "Pandora".

Modern venue, stylized assembly line steps, the best equipment and professional staff.But maybe it’s too good, too regular, Qiu Sheng has performed several performances, and it seems that he has never changed places. This place has nothing to do with the underground feeling. There is no big banner, and no one who snatches their picks and coats. The crowd faded away like water and left. He stood in the background and watched, always inexplicably lost for a while.

The performance was on the second day, and A Lian sent them back to the hotel.

There was a local conflict in the car, and Qiu Sheng didn't speak all the way afterwards, but his face was gloomy, and his eyes were red when he looked carefully.A Lian had never seen him in such a state, and after seeing the result of room allocation, he asked Qiu Sheng worriedly: "Do you want to change the room arrangement?"

"No need." Qiu Sheng frowned, "I can't die."

A Lian was helpless, and wanted to replace him on his own initiative, but was dragged to the side by Lu Yining to comfort him, "They're like this" "Don't worry if they don't fight if they don't fight."She didn't know Qiu Sheng well, so she looked at him worriedly and then went to contact the organizer to prepare for tomorrow's performance.

When Qiu Sheng closed the door, there was still a loud bang with emotion. He was not relieved, and he kicked again, which hurt himself so much.

This action is completely subconscious.

He began to realize that there was something wrong with him, and Wen Youxia easily removed the advice given by the doctor, just like all the medicines back then had lost their effect in front of Wen Youxia—he could control the rhythm of the song, the progress of the band, and even every aspect of work. The project development was accurate to the second, but Wen Youxia lost control over and over again.

If this continues, he will have problems during the performance.

Qiu Sheng frowned, threw the backpack on the bed, leaned over, and unzipped the zipper rudely.

The bag was in a mess, and Qiu Sheng searched for it for a while but couldn't find what he wanted, so he simply picked up the bottom and shook it down, all kinds of small things fell on the bed, and a few small medicine boxes were particularly conspicuous - anti-anxiety, pain relief , sedated, and has to be taken every day. His gastrointestinal problems have become more serious and are largely affected by these drugs.

Qiu Sheng picked it up, skillfully took the pills separately, poured water, ate them, and chewed the pills bitterly.

The bitter taste made him finally calm down. Qiu Sheng drank half a bottle of mineral water, and waited for the calming effect to take effect before continuing to face Wen Youxia.The other was sitting with the bass across his lap, and he seemed to be checking to see if the argument had broken his piano.

Ever since Wen Youxia knew that he sometimes lost control of his negative emotions, he didn't care much about Qiu Sheng losing his temper in many cases.Stay by the side, wait for Qiu Sheng to calm down, and then grab him into his arms to comfort him—now that they are not a couple, of course Wen Youxia can't hug him, so he bowed his head by himself.

"Why are you still taking that medicine?"

"No way, good times and bad times, I don't dare to stop casually." Qiu Sheng still had powdery bitterness on the root of his tongue, "I won't say 'it wasn't on purpose', even if I'm not sick, I will scold you today. It's not good to mention anything Propose a new boyfriend, and make it clear that you are mad at me."

"No."

"What about the new boyfriend? Don't tell me you haven't been in a relationship for four years."

"not in the mood."

"What a coincidence, I didn't talk about it." Qiu Sheng sat on another neat bed that hadn't been disturbed by him, raised his leg, and lightly stepped on Wen Youxia's instep, "We're even again."

"Why didn't you look for it?" Wen Youxia asked in a muffled voice.

"Who are you looking for?"

"..."

"I used to think that love is mutual redemption, but after I met you, I changed my mind and thought that love is mutual debt, and we should break up after we figure it out." Qiu Sheng raised his head and lay down on the soft mattress, "But what is debt? I’m happy to circle around you, and I want you to follow me. When I’m good, I can’t wait to tell the whole world that ‘Wen Youxia loves me’, but I almost feel so boring when I’m separated. But you’re better than me, you really see through .”

"..."

"You threw me away, and I'm still alive, which shows that love is really useless."

Wen Youxia heard every word clearly.

He hoped that Qiu Sheng would have the strength to love another person. It was enough for him to be bound by the past. Qiu Sheng didn't need to bear these.But if Qiu Sheng doesn't want love anymore, what about him, continue to be a walking dead?

His acclaimed creations and dream-like intimacy are all given by Qiu Sheng.

Qiu Sheng, who is immersed in love, is very good-looking, beautiful, and alluring. The simple action of lying on the bed and strumming the guitar can bring him unparalleled whimsy.

Those emotions that can't be understood in a dry life burst out suddenly within a few days of their love, like a volcanic eruption, covering his past.Qiu Sheng let him know that being loved is a happy and wonderful thing, so everyone expects it extravagantly. When Qiu Sheng is not around, the volcano will go into a dormant state, and the power of destroying the world will give way to rational and mechanical day-to-day life.

Is this a bad thing?

Of course not, just experiencing the joy of being burned by love, ordinary life becomes difficult.

After a long silence, Qiu Sheng murmured, "Wen Xia, why did you promise me? Go back to the band."

"I think you can take care of yourself and let yourself go." Wen Youxia never raised his eyes to look at him, "I want you to love and live. That's why I came back to accompany you for a while."

Qiu Sheng suddenly became vigilant: "What do you mean by a paragraph? You still want to leave?"

"Maybe." Wen Youxia didn't want to lie to him, "I didn't have many choices before, but now I have opportunities and conditions. I can try some things that I wanted to do but couldn't do."

"Doesn't that include the band?"

It took a long time for the answer to be heard after the question was finished. The person lying on the bed was motionless, his thin chest heaved slightly for a moment, and he turned over.

"It turns out that you didn't agree because you like it." Qiu Sheng buried himself in the pillow dully, "I know you didn't because you were afraid of paying liquidated damages...but at least, I thought you thought so fast and you had a little nostalgia for the band."

"You know the band is not that important to me. I didn't agree to form a band with you because of 'like music' in 12, and I don't now."

Yes, it was because he loved Qiu Sheng back then.

What now?

So that Qiu Sheng can let himself go, make up for this regret, and then bid farewell peacefully without burden?

The author says:

Wen Xia: I'm thinking about it, I'm thinking about it, I'm chasing after it