肋骨

Jiang Haizhou didn't know when Fu Kuan left that day, he thought he was dreaming because he had drunk too much.

Little things, when you grow up, you dare to say goodbye to yourself.

Jiang Haizhou drove Han Yi away. He wanted to beat him up, but it was useless even if he killed him, and Fu Kuan couldn't see him.

He sat on the window sill and watched the lights of the neighborhood all night, the weather was already very cold.

It will soon be December, and tonight may be the last rain in this town.

The first snow is coming.

Jiang Haizhou's computer was hacked again, and there were only four words in bright red.

—You bullied him.

Jiang Haizhou thought to himself, isn't it? If he saw this scene by himself, he would have been furious already.

But Fu Kuan tolerantly listened to his explanation, and still had hope in himself, trying to let him take him away.

Jiang Haizhou wondered if he had snuffed out Fu Kuan's last hope.

He didn't know what method the child used and how much risk he took to come out to find him, but he couldn't give Fu Kuan any promises or expressions, and couldn't give Fu Kuan any sense of security.

He's a fucking beast.

The little thing must really hate himself.

Its daybreak.

The ashtray on the window sill was full of cigarette butts, Jiang Haizhou rubbed his eyes, picked up his phone and found a number.

"Hey, Uncle Chang, I've thought about what you said about going to X University for an internship last time."

……

Fu Kuan went out from Jiang Haizhou's house that day and didn't go home directly. He asked Zhen Chixuan where he could get something for piercing ears. Zhen Chixuan opened an electric door pin for him to monitor, stole a puncher, and of course, put it in the booth. corresponding money.

Zhen Chixuan didn't ask him why he had pierced his ears suddenly, nor did he ask what he and Jiang Haizhou had said, but Fu Kuan hadn't smiled since he left Jiang Haizhou's house.

Fu Kuan, who used to be particularly afraid of pain, directly faced the mirror in the mall that day and drew a small black spot on his left earlobe and punched a hole.

"elder brother."

"Ah."

"I'm leaving." Fu Kuan said.

"Going to the city?"

"No." Fu Kuan said, "Go to Kyoto."

Zhen Chixuan was taken aback.

……

three days later.

Fu Kuan sat in the car driven by Zhao Huan. He sat in the back seat and touched his left earlobe. There was already a small silver ring on it, which was not obvious and was covered by black hair. A small key was hanging on it.

He also put the box in the suitcase and took it away.

There was crystal clear snow floating in the air, and it was spread on the ground. The temperature was too low, and frost soon formed.

The sky is fluffy white.

He finally looked back at the familiar town, the place where he had lived for more than ten years, which carried almost all his childhood memories.

Now it's time to say goodbye to everything.

And that person.

Mother was afraid that he would still be related to the past, so she searched all his things, but he didn't take the cell phone Zhen Chixuan gave him, and he didn't have any communication equipment.

Zhen Chixuan said that he would be found, it was easy to find him, so don't worry.

Originally, Zhao Huan planned to take him to the city, which was the capital he wanted to go by himself. It was no different than the city, and it would take six or seven hours by train.

Fu Kuan thought, since he had already said to break up, he should break up cleanly, stay away from that person, and if he stayed away, he would not want to go back to see him all the time.

Going to school in Kyoto is not that easy. Zhao Huan has been working for more than a month, and when Fu Kuan officially starts school, it will be winter vacation soon.

He immediately planned to go back to school and go directly to the college entrance examination in the first half of the year.

Years ago, his parents met, and he didn't know what they talked about, but after that, he and his mother lived in a big house with two bedrooms and one living room in Kyoto. It was really not cheap in the city center.

Zhao Huan said that the cheap father owed the two of them. Fu Kuan wanted to see his father, but Zhao Huan stopped him.

"There's nothing to see. At the beginning, he said he didn't want to care about you, so he never cared about you. To be a man, you must distinguish between black and white, and stick to it."

He thought, maybe he is like his mother, who can distinguish between black and white, and stick to one thing.

Once the plan is given up, ten cows will not be able to pull back.

New Year's Eve.

"Kuan Kuan, mom, go and see if the dumplings are ready, you go to the refrigerator and take out the juice!"

"Okay."

The steaming dumplings were served, and the CCTV Spring Festival Gala was on the TV.

Fu Kuan sat on the sofa and poured two glasses of juice.

"You're still sick, don't walk around barefoot."

"Ah."

"What New Year's gift do you want?" Zhao Huan asked him.

Fu Kuan shook his head, he didn't want anything.

"A few days ago when I was 15 years old, I didn't even want any birthday presents." Zhao Huan said, "I don't want any New Year's presents either?"

Fu Kuan smiled, "Can you let me see New Year's greetings?"

Zhao Huan paused, but finally said nothing, "Okay, the phone is in my mother's white bag, and you can read it after you charge it."

"Ah."

Fu Kuan finished his meal obediently,

When the phone was turned on, he clenched his palms and sweated a little, damp.

There is no expectation, no joy, what I want is to do the finishing work well, so that I can be clean and free from worries.

There are a lot of news in SMS Penguin and WeChat. Most of the classmates know that he has transferred, and blame him for not saying goodbye.

His former deskmate Chu Jiugao, his warm-hearted sister Xu Wen, and his new deskmate Li Lun.

Li Lun sent him a lot of messages, asking him where he was and if he could still contact him in the future, but he waved his fingers but did not reply.

I sent New Year greetings to Chu Jiugao and Xu Wen, telling them that I can't play with my mobile phone casually at the moment, and that pocket money is also tight, so it's not convenient to buy by myself, and I may not be able to contact them in the short term.

He sent a New Year greeting to Zhen Chixuan, who told him that he had already found a good house in Kyoto and moved in. It was very close to the university town and his home, so he could always come to him if he needed anything.

Fu Kuan had an absurd idea, since Zhen Chixuan had the strength to live in the capital, why did he stay in that small town all the time?Is it... for yourself?

He didn't dare to think too much, and closed Zhen Chixuan's window after hastily replying.

If I keep cutting and straightening things out, I can no longer just add trouble to others.

Finally, Fu Kuan stopped at Jianghai Prefecture.

He looked at the 99+ news and lowered his eyes.

I don't know how many messages Jiang Haizhou sent him in the past two months, and what they sent.He didn't dare to look, afraid that he couldn't help but go back and look for it.

So what can I do if I find it, Jiang Haizhou and that boy are quite a good match, better than myself, the two of them look good together lying on the bed, they are so hot, that guy really likes Jiang Haizhou, his eyes and movements are so good when he takes care of others Be careful not to fake it.So it's not a show, it's real.There is not such a complete set of acting, and it is still acting when no one is watching.

So, even though he didn't want to face it, the fact was so cruel - Jiang Haizhou didn't want him anymore.

He had made this assumption countless times before, and when it really came, he found that he had nothing to do.

He didn't even have a chance to hold back the competition or even throw a tantrum.

He was the one who left first, and he brought up the breakup. People like Jiang Haizhou were dumped, so it's good that they didn't make trouble for themselves and didn't hate themselves.

Hate, Fu Kuan asked himself, did he hate it?

Still hating, he really wanted to ask, why didn't he take himself away?As long as two people are together, what difficulties can't be overcome?

Why just at that time, when I was most uncomfortable, most helpless and most isolated, I abandoned myself and didn't give myself a single promise.

He Jiang Haizhou is really kind when he treats people well, but once he is not good, he will be thunderous and invulnerable.

Thinking of this, he smiled, his eyes turned cold.

That being the case, I'll do as much as you like, and I'll end up neat and tidy. He looks like a girl, but he's not a real girl, and he can't imitate a girl's euphemistic complaints.

After looking at the phone screen for a while, block this person, delete it, and set it to refuse to add friends.Completely pull black.

Including those text messages, he didn't read any of them.I don't want this calling card anymore.

Fu Kuan never thought that one day he would become so ruthless.

I touched my ear, where the thick studs were replaced too early after the ear piercing, and the wound has been bleeding and inflamed, and it hasn't healed until now.

But he never took off that little key, preferring to disinfect it with alcohol-iodine every day.

The person is not his, but the thoughts are still there.He had to leave some proof that he had lived.

Just give yourself the right to be cheap in the end.

After all, I have lived in a small town for more than ten years, but my final impression is not as deep as the real and profound ones in those two months.

But no matter how profound it was, it was only once, and it just disappeared.

He hoped that he could forget, don't care, don't forget this person all the time, some wounds will heal with the passage of time, some will get deeper and deeper, rotten and smelly, and in the end it may really be terminally ill, there is no cure save.

Fu Kuan sent the phone back.

Back in the bedroom, standing in front of the window looking at the thousands of lights outside and the continuous fireworks in the sky, he took out a pack of cigarettes.

Secret Garden is the brand that Jiang Haizhou often smokes.

Tsk, his shadow is everywhere.

Look at this person, he has already withdrawn from his own world, and he still refuses to let go of himself, and he can always bring himself many indelible things.

This is a thin cigarette, which looks very beautiful. When Jiang Haizhou holds it in his hand, his posture is very sexy and coquettish, which suits him very well.

forget about it.

He watched the smoke burn little by little, and the smoke that rose into the air was like the past, entering the heart and lungs together, and then dissipated into smoke, invisible to the naked eye.

"Happy New Year, I wish you happiness." He whispered.

……

The night before my 15th birthday, there is less than half a month before the new year.

With the help of Zhen Chixuan, Fu Kuan sneaked out and wanted to go back to that town to visit Jiang Haizhou.

In winter, there was thick snow in the north, he got out of the car and went to Jiang Haizhou's house shivering with cold.

Nobody at home.

He stood blankly at the door of Jiang Haizhou's house, with goose feathers of snow floating on his body, and it quickly accumulated a layer. The coolness after the snow melted made his teeth chatter.

Fortunately, Zhen Chixuan got the news, and soon found out that Jiang Haizhou was in the hospital. He was startled, thinking something happened, and hurried to the hospital again.

The road was slippery in the snow, and the car was slow. When he got out of the car, he ran in a hurry and fell several times, his face was covered in slush.

The doctor said that Jiang Haizhou drank too much alcohol and had stomach bleeding, so he went to the emergency room.

He hurried to the door of the hospital bed in a panic, and stood still when he arrived.

He saw the boy named Han Yi feeding porridge to Jiang Haizhou.

Jiang Haizhou has lost a lot of weight, but he is not as decadent as he imagined. He still looks so good-looking, and when he smiles, his heart throbs.

Maybe it wasn't throbbing, Fu Kuan touched his chest, it was pain.

It turned out that he could smile so nicely at others.

Fu Kuan stood at the door for half an hour, then turned and left.

The blizzard in the twelfth lunar month was very cold and hard. When he walked out of the hospital door, he found his face was icy cold. When he touched it, tears had frozen on his face.

it's too cold.

He looked at the dark sky without stars and moon, and his own moon was gone.

Where has he gone?Have you escaped to another universe?

After that, he had a bad cold. He had a persistent fever and almost got encephalitis. It took only half a month for him to get better after infusion. Until the beginning of the new year, his last thoughts disappeared along with the illness, and he completely stopped thinking about this person. .

After all, you can't deceive yourself, let everything pass before you are 15 years old.

He took out the notebook that recorded every detail of He and Jiang Haizhou, and tried to burn it several times, but finally couldn't bear it, and pressed it under the box.

"Fu Kuan." He said to himself, "From now on, you are not allowed to cry anymore."

Volume [-]·Another Three Years