reverse crush

Not only Lu Zhi's mental state, but even Lu Zhi's appearance is very different. Before the exam, he was just tired. This meeting can only be described as a shapeless body. His lips are pale, his eyes are bloodshot, and his face is haggard. Gray worshiped too much to look at.

It's like I haven't slept in days.

Every door... Pei Zhenyan's heart was pricked suddenly, and he suddenly remembered? Lu Zhi was not in a good state on the first day of the college entrance examination? Good, and these days Lu Zhi handed over both Lu Kitten and Lu Beibei. He, after returning home? He also has absolutely no intention of visiting his pet.

As for the reason why Lu Zhi tried his best to pretend to be normal in the past few days, it's too easy to guess.

A person who can last 5 laps with a burst of sprinting in order to give him a chance to beat Tong Tianjiao will of course hide his collapse in order not to affect his college entrance examination.

In other words, Lu only lasted for two full days.

Pei Zhenyan didn't dare to think about how Lu just got through it. This knowledge alone made his hands and feet cold and his mind numb.

"Lu Quan, can you tell me what happened? What happened?"

Lu only paused for a while before gathering his strength, and said "Let me be quiet for a while".

Pei Zhenyan was hesitant and at a loss. He didn't know what happened to Lu Zhi. He was so sad that he failed the college entrance examination, and he couldn't even tolerate his company.

He didn't dare to approach rashly, but what's more, he was worried that Lu was alone, so he hurriedly greeted his classmates and followed from a distance.

He had envisioned many times how he would leave this campus that had held three years of passionate youth after the college entrance examination, but he never expected that on the day he really left, he had no intention of any scenery at all.

All his thoughts were devoted to looking at the figure ten meters ahead without blinking.

Lu Zhi's footsteps seem to weigh a thousand catties, and he needs to use all his strength to take every step. His back is so thin that he can't carry a small schoolbag on his back.

There are thousands of troops outside the school gate, and a huge group of parents are looking forward to it. Those who hold flowers, hold signs, and bring gifts? They all want to give some affirmation and comfort to the children who have studied hard for twelve years.

Almost everyone has their parents waiting, only Lu Zhi has no one to greet him.

So Pei Zhenyan asked his parents not to come, just before Tang Wanyue yelled at Pei Zheng, "With you without me, with me without you".

Just don't favor one.

Countless curious eyes focused on Lu Zhi, and when he walked a little further away, there were whispers behind him:

"Is this a failed exam?"

"Sure, it's so decadent."

"It's also pitiful..."

Pei Zhenyan was furious, and wanted to yell at them, "Shut up, this is the first in ten thousand years in our grade."

Obviously it shouldn't be like this.

Lu should just come out in high spirits, and wait for the dream to come without any suspense under the envious eyes of parents looking at other people's children.

Rather than bear a lot of speculation and sympathy.

He is obviously such a proud person.

All sympathy for him is a humiliation.

Pei Zhenyan quickened his pace, trying to get closer? A familiar voice came out from the crowd: "Zhenyan!"

Take a closer look, Pei Zheng.

Pei Zhenyan had to distract Pei Zheng: "I'm not telling you not to come."

"How can I not come, my son? I have to reward you for studying so hard." Pei Zheng said, showing him a gift - a computer notebook, and looking at him with credit, "I'm asking your cousin for help." It is equipped, and it is said that the configuration is very good, and it is absolutely smooth to play games, how about it, do you like it?"

Pei Zhenyan took a perfunctory glance, then turned his head. Lu Zhi had disappeared in the crowd and had nowhere to look. He brushed Pei Zheng's hand away anxiously: "I won't tell you, Dad, I have to go after Lu Zhi."

"Lu only?" Pei Zheng suddenly realized, "It was Lu only just now? I said it was a little familiar? He, how did he become like this?"

"I'll explain to you later, thank you dad for coming to pick me up." Pei Zhenyan hurriedly said goodbye to Pei Zheng, and hurriedly chased in the direction where Lu Zhi left.

After breaking out of the encirclement, he saw Lu Zhi got into a taxi.

"Grass." Pei Zhenyan chased after a few steps to no avail, taxis are hard to come by, and the taxi app shows that there are more than 60 people in line ahead, and he can only watch the vehicle that Lu Zhi is riding in go farther and farther.

"Proverbs, get in the car." At the critical moment, Pei Zheng drove the car like a god descending.

Lu Zhi didn't let the taxi go home directly, he got out of the car halfway, Pei Zhenyan quickly asked Pei Zheng to stop, Pei Zheng was worried about Lu Zhi, and wanted to follow him to have a look.

Stopped by Pei Zhenyan.

"Dad, don't come here, I'll just go."

He thought that Lu only didn't want others to see him like this? And if Pei Zheng appeared?, Lu only had to spend his energy to greet his elders.

Lu only entered a pharmacy.

When Pei Zhenyan chased him in, he heard a pleading tone in his tone: "I haven't slept for almost two days."

The doctor at the pharmacy explained helplessly: "Now sleeping pills must be prescribed by the hospital. Without a prescription, you really can't sell them. If you get caught, I can't take them and walk around. You should go to the hospital."

Really didn't sleep for two days.No words can describe Pei Zhenyan's mood at this moment.

His heart couldn't bear the pain, and it convulsed and twisted in the chest cavity. He had to press his left chest to avoid the pain from intensifying.

Lu Zhi doesn't have the energy to go to the hospital now, he doesn't even have the strength to continue dealing with the doctor who grabs the medicine.

Turning around, the two of them met their eyes.

Pei Zhenyan took a deep look at him, did not express untimely concern, but walked quickly to the counter and said softly, "Just give him two pills, two pills, and nothing will happen."

Considering the consequences, the catching pharmacist still couldn't agree.

"I'll give you 200 bucks, please, do me a favor."

Two pills can earn 200 yuan, that person is a little excited.

Pei Zhenyan looked back and saw that Lu had already walked out of the pharmacy, and became even more anxious to increase the salary: "500, is 500 okay?"

The pharmacist finally agreed, but he also had his own concerns: "Then do you have cash?"

She was afraid of Pei Zhenyan's aftermath when transferring the money? Take the record and bite back.

Where did the cash come from? Pei Zhenyan hasn't seen cash in 800 years.

When he was yelling and swearing, he had a quick wit: "I'll give you 520, can you feel relieved now?"

520 is a special number, which is often regarded as a voluntary gift in economic disputes.

After negotiating and transferring money, there was a lot of delay. When Pei Zhenyan finally got two small sleeping pills and went out, Lu Zhi had already boarded the car.

"Lu Quan!" Pei Zhenyan yelled.

Lu only moved slightly when closing the door.

Pei Zhenyan quickly chased after him, and a few steps away from the car, he began to explain: "Don't worry, I won't bother you." Then? He lowered his eyes and stuffed two pills into Lu Jian's hand. Wan Yu wanted to say, but in the end, he said, "Whenever you need me, you must contact me."

When he got home, Lu only locked himself in the room, refusing anyone to approach him.

Pei Zhenyan stayed at the west window of the room and looked in the direction of Lu Zhi's room. The curtains blocked his view, and there was no light in the room from beginning to end.

He wanted to contact Lu Ningshuang to ask the reason, but he was afraid that Lu Ningshuang would not know anything, which would make her worry. He heard from Lu that she was going back to her mother's house hundreds of kilometers away, and rushed over in case something happened along the way.

After struggling for a long time, it was Lu Ningshuang who took the initiative to look for him in the middle of the night, and said anxiously, "Zhenyan, are you with Lu Zhi?"

"He's at home." That being the case, Pei Zhenyan also asked directly, "Aunt Lu, do you know what happened to Lu Zhi?" The police station notified Lu Xuewen's arrest for drunk driving. Due to special circumstances, Lu Xuewen was also allowed to call her, and lied to her that he had an urgent business and needed to travel for a few days.

Although it is impossible to hide it all the time, at least Lu Ningshuang's most difficult few days after surgery can be cheated for as long as possible.

Lu Ningshuang did believe it at first.

Lu Xuewen is not here, and Lu only needs to take the college entrance examination. Although there are nurses to take care of him, he is not his own person after all, so he cannot give any psychological comfort.

I planned to tell Lu only the truth when the college entrance examination was over, but I never thought that Lu only would disappear after the college entrance examination, so I didn't say a word to her.

In the past, Lu Ningshuang would look for Pei Zhenyan immediately. After all, Pei Zhenyan and Lu Zhi are inseparable, and she knows Lu Zhi's movements better than anyone else.

But this time she hesitated again and again, and dialed the phone number to Lu Xuewen, wanting him to visit Jiangnan Huating's home.

Lu Xuewen shut down the phone.

Call the secretary again, the matter of Lu Xuewen's drunk driving and escape is completely uncontainable.

Lu Ningshuang almost fainted.

After confirming from Pei Zhenyan that Lu Zhi was only at home, Lu Ningshuang immediately asked the doctor to remove the chest drainage tube for her, and dragged her sick body back home.

During the phone call, she didn't tell Pei Zhenyan what happened. Pei Zhenyan only knew that she said that she would come right away, so she came to Lu's house immediately and waited.

Lu Ningshuang arrived, followed by the nanny.

Seeing Lu Ningshuang for the first time, Pei Zhenyan was taken aback.The mother and son? The two are more haggard than the other, Lu Ningshuang is skinny and sickly.

"Aunt Lu, are you okay?"

At this time, Lu Ningshuang didn't care about etiquette, ignored Pei Zhenyan's concerns, nodded hastily, and then opened the lock with her fingerprints.

Pei Zhenyan also wanted to follow subconsciously.

But Lu Ningshuang didn't intend to invite him. After entering the house, he immediately closed the door with his backhand, forcing him to stop abruptly.

It wasn't until the second before the door was completely closed that she seemed to remember that there was Pei Zhenyan outside, and she paused for a while to close the door.

After a while, when she opened the door and turned her head to look at him, two lines of tears rolled down one after another.

This look is full of struggle.

repulsion, hatred.

Also helpless, compassion.

Almost a few months ago? After being crushed by Lu Ningshuang?, all of Pei Zhenyan's optimism and luck collapsed in this look.

He was very sure that she knew about the relationship between him and Lu Zhi.

"You come in too." Lu Ningshuang lowered her head and took a step back.

Lu Zhi's room was locked, and Lu Ningshuang was outside? She knocked for a long time, begging him to open the door.

But inside? Nothing happened.

On the one hand, Pei Zhenyan was worried about Lu Zhi, but on the other hand, he didn't know how to deal with it. Facing Lu Ningshuang, he mustered up the courage to persuade him: "Aunt Lu, he hasn't slept for two days, and he took sleeping pills, let him sleep for a while Bar."

Lu Ningshuang no longer called Lu Zhi, but just pressed her forehead against the door, covering her face and sobbing.

Pei Zhenyan couldn't bear it, so he went to the kitchen to fetch hot water for her. On the way back, he heard the sound of Lu Zhi's room door opening, and then he remembered? Cold eyes: "Drinking and driving away on the eve of my college entrance examination, this is your death? A good husband who refuses to divorce, are you satisfied now?"

Drunk driving, escape.Pei Zhenyan's ears were buzzing with words that he had only heard on the news, and he almost lost his grip on the teacup in his hand.

It's just that no matter how impatient he was, he also knew that it was the Lu family's internal affairs time, and it was inconvenient for him to be present as an outsider, so he had to stop and not approach.

Drunk driving but not up to the drunk driving standard is an administrative penalty. Generally, it does not have much direct impact on the political review of children?Flying in the sky to pick one, the political review is absolutely strict, and his father's drunk driving still drags Lu Zhi back to a considerable extent. Facing a competitor with an innocent family background, he will be at a disadvantage.

If Lu Xuewen obediently surrendered, everything would not be completely irreversible.

But Lu Xuewen chose to run.

In this run, Lu Zhi's previous 18 years of hard work were declared useless.

In fact, his complaints about his mother were a little vexatious.

Lu Xuewen is his biological father. Even if his parents divorced before he was born, even if he never stayed with his father for a day, what Lu Xuewen did can still be directly related to his political trial in the army.

Whether Lu Ningshuang and Lu Xuewen divorce or not, cannot change the ending.

In ancient times, there were couples sitting together, and one person committing a crime could even implicate nine clans. Although modern society pays attention to the independence of individuals, it has not completely eliminated the influence of blood.

When he was 3 years old, Lu Xuewen took him to watch TV. At that time, a certain channel was broadcasting an air-flying documentary. Men had no resistance to such things as fighting and killing, military weapons, etc., so Lu Xuewen stopped to watch. .

At first, I thought that Lu Zhi was so young that he would cry and want to watch cartoons in less than 2 minutes.

Unexpectedly, Lu Zhi took it very seriously.

Lu Xuewen thought it was funny, and asked him: "Do you understand?" Lu just nodded in a daze.

Lu Xuewen asked again: "Then do you want to fly a fighter jet like the uncle on TV?"

Lu just nodded again: "I think."

Lu Xuewen raised him above his head and simulated flying amidst his cheers: "Then you have to study hard. If our family can produce a pilot, it will be really glorious."

Lu Xuewen may have forgotten long ago, the seed of this dream? It was first planted in Lu Zhi's heart by himself.

Lu only worked hard to protect his eyesight, suppressed his height, and did not dare to get hurt. After so many years of carefulness, he passed the initial inspection and re-examination like walking on eggshells. The road to prosperity is clearly in front of him.

But it was destroyed by the person who planted the dream.

There is nothing crueler than watching hope shatter when you are closest to hope.

I'm really unhappy.

He couldn't control himself from venting his anger on Lu Ningshuang.

Why marry such a man, why are you so reluctant to divorce such a man.

Why are they mother and child? This life will be ruined by Lu Xuewen like this.

"I'm sorry? It's all my mother's fault, Xiao Zhi, sorry? Ah. I'll divorce him when he comes out. From now on? I'll listen to you." Lu Ningshuang broke down in tears, and stepped forward to touch him, but was disgusted by him. Avoiding, she kept apologizing, but she also knew that apologizing could not solve any problems.

Lu's anger at his mother didn't make him feel better? He had a terrible headache, lost all thoughts, and didn't want to communicate with the outside world. He quickly closed the door and locked it again.

Lu Ningshuang stood at the door of the room for a while, knocked on the door lightly, and coaxed: "Xiao Zhi, mother will ask for help, there is always a way, don't worry."

Inside? No sound.

Lu Ningshuang wiped away her tears, and when passing by the living room, she met Pei Zhenyan who was standing at the door of the kitchen.

"Aunt Lu, do you have anything to do with me?" Pei Zhenyan asked softly.

Lu Ningshuang shook her head, she didn't want to say anything more, but seeing Pei Zhenyan's sincere eyes, she couldn't bear it: "Lu only's grandparents and uncle have already looked for them, but recently the city is cracking down on drunk driving."

"then you……"

"I'll try again, just in case." Lu Ningshuang said wearily.

Pei Zhenyan: "I'll ask my parents if there is any way out later?"

"Thank you." Lu Ningshuang nodded, and after walking a few steps, she suddenly remembered what? "By the way, do you know how Lu Zhi's college entrance examination is?"

If Kong Fei cannot be admitted, Lu will have to go to another university.

"He said he didn't pass the exam." Pei Zhenyan's eyes dimmed, and he quickly comforted Lu Ningshuang and himself after speaking, "But he didn't say exactly what's wrong, maybe it's just not as good as usual."

Lu Ningshuang became more and more sad, couldn't help crying again, but also a little puzzled: "The traffic police clearly agreed with his grandparents that they must not let the children know so as not to affect the college entrance examination. I don't know how he knew. "

Pei Zhenyan sent Lu Ningshuang out of the house, and the nanny who was waiting outside immediately came to help Lu Ningshuang.

Seeing Lu Ningshuang, Pei Zhenyan had no intention of leaving, so she acquiesced, and said lightly: "I have to go get ready, thank you for taking care of him."

It costs money to go through the relationship.

She didn't chase her away, Pei Zhenyan was already very grateful, and nodded repeatedly.

The wind blew across the corridor and lifted the hem of Lu Ningshuang's shirt. Pei Zhenyan saw a large blood stain on her dark blue trousers.

He froze for a moment, because he was really embarrassed, so he didn't say a word to remind him, anyway, the shirt could cover it.

Sending the two away, Pei Zhenyan didn't care that it was already midnight, so he called directly? Asked his parents for help, and received a call from him in the middle of the night? Tang Wanyue and Pei Zheng were both frightened by him. After hearing what happened, They were very sympathetic to Lu Zhi's experience, but they all expressed their helplessness.

After putting down the phone, Pei Zhenyan came to the door of Lu Zhifang.

He was finally able to get a little closer to Lu, but the spiritual distance did not change with the physical proximity.

Lu Zhi became a gust of wind, and he couldn't catch it no matter how hard he tried.

It's like their future suddenly becomes illusory.

"Lu Quan, I'm right outside the door, call me if you need anything."

Inside? As expected, there was no answer.

Pei Zhenyan sat down at the door and closed his eyes heavily. Maybe it's not Lu who needs him now, but he needs Lu only.

About ten seconds later, the sound of the door lock being unlocked passed through the door panel and clearly reached his ears.

His nerves shook, and he couldn't tell whether it was an auditory hallucination for a moment, so he opened his eyes and stood up.

The door was slowly opened from the inside, and Lu Zhi's figure appeared on the other side of the door.

"Lu Quan." Pei Zhenyan's eyes were a little sore, but he hadn't seen him for a few hours? It was only Lu, but he felt that centuries had passed.

Being pushed away by Lu Zhi feels like being abandoned by the whole world.

Lu just smiled wryly, and after a while, raised his hand to touch his face.

Accompanied by Pei Zhenyan, coupled with the effect of sleeping pills?, Lu Zhi slept fairly well that night, but his brows were always furrowed in his dream, making it hard to rest.

Even though he knew that Lu Zhi's dream was unpleasant, Pei Zhenyan didn't intend to wake him up, because the reality was not much better.

In the dream, Lu could only sleep for a while at least.

The long night finally passed, the sun gradually rose, and a ray of sunlight penetrated through the corner of the curtain that was not drawn tightly, and fell obliquely on the mahogany floor, countless floating dust was flying up.

I don't know if Aunt Lu is bumping into walls now, Pei Zhenyan thought worriedly.

Suddenly, he had a flash of inspiration.

Then? Without hesitation, he pushed Lu Zhi awake: "Lu Quan, something happened to Lu Quan."

The details that he didn't pay attention to before finally became a complete logical chain.

Lu Ningshuang ran around all night, exhausted and fainted. The nanny didn't have Lu Zhi's phone number? And she couldn't contact Lu Xuewen?

More than two hours later? Lu Ningshuang woke up, and the first thing she saw was Lu Zhi who was guarding the hospital bed.

Lu Ningshuang's nose was sore, and two lines of tears fell from the corners of her eyes. She stretched out her hand that still held the oxygen saturation probe, and wanted to reach out to touch Lu Zhi's hair. Lu Zhi first took her hand and held it tightly. , Said: "You don't care about anything, take a good rest."

Did Pei Zhenyan recall it? Lu Ningshuang had a lung operation last time, and a hole was drilled in her back and a drainage tube was inserted.

The blood on her pants is too far away.

Thinking about Lu Ningshuang's abnormal absence before Lu Zhi's college entrance examination, her extreme haggardness, and the worry and support of the nanny, he later realized that it was not menstrual blood, and it was likely that Lu Ningshuang had another operation, and the wound did not heal. , the blood flowing down from the back.

"What time is it now?" Lu Ningshuang asked weakly, "Why are you here, who told you?"

Lu only said, "Pei Zhenyan guessed it."

Hearing Pei Zhenyan's name, Lu Ningshuang was speechless. For a moment, she closed her eyes and affirmed softly, "Zhenyan is a good boy?"

Lu Zhi didn't speak for a while, but when he spoke again, he opened the door? Shan: "You know, don't you?"

Lu Ningshuang's eyelashes trembled slightly, her breathing became a lot heavier, and a burst of water mist filled the air on the oxygen mask.

Lu Zhi continued to ask: "Because of this incident, your lungs relapsed again? Isn't it?"

He knew everything from the doctor when his mother was in a coma.

She came to the hospital when she couldn't bear it anymore. When she said goodbye to him that day, her two lungs combined were only half the size of one normal lung. Thinking for him, afraid of affecting his performance in the college entrance examination, she pretended to be relaxed and told him that she was going back to her mother's house to accompany her grandmother.

She is lying here now, thanks to him.

And when she dragged her sick body and came to care about him desperately, he selfishly used the cruelest words to stab her.

The emotions that had been suppressed for several months gushed out, and Lu Ningshuang was completely overwhelmed by the various incidents at home. She turned her face away, broke down and cried bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Mom?" Lu Zhi's voice was also slightly choked.

Hearing the apology, Lu Ningshuang turned her head to look at him, with bulging veins? She grabbed the clothes on his chest with her hands, like grabbing a life-saving straw: "Can you change it, can you not like boys? You...you are from ?A good brother who is so young, how do you want me to face? To him, how to face? To his parents." She asked incoherently, "Can you change, Xiaozhi, just be a mother, please , I really don't have any requirements for my daughter-in-law, I promise that I will be a good mother-in-law in the future, but can it be a girl?"

Lu Zhi didn't dare to continue provoking her at this time, but he didn't want to deny Pei Zhenyan anyway.

He just fell into a long silence.

Lu Ningshuang understood the answer, the light of hope in her eyes was extinguished, and her hands dropped powerlessly.

Lu Zhi's Adam's apple rolled, and he tasted the sweet taste in his throat. He closed his eyes, raised his hand and slapped himself. All he could say was apologetic: "I'm really sorry?"

That slap hit Lu Zhi's face, and it hit Lu Ningshuang's heart a thousand times and a hundred times. She hurriedly stopped his hand, raised her body to hug him with great effort, and saline needles, oxygen masks, and oxygen saturation probes all came from her. fall.

"It's not your fault." She hugged his head tightly, as if she was a child, "Your life is your own, and you have the right to decide what kind of life you want to live."

Her tone was desperate but gentle. Despair was reserved for herself, while tenderness was reserved for him.

Like every time since I was a child, I took his side without thinking.

"Mom can't accept it, it's not your fault, it's mother's fault."