Back to the Wilderness

"How is your injury?" Xie Cheng asked Ji Fuyun who was sitting on the ground.

Ji Fuyun seemed to be a little stiff from the cold wind, and after a while, he turned his head and saw Xie Cheng.

Xie Cheng thought that Ji Fuyun would say it was fine, but he didn't expect to hear him say "it hurts."

"When I feel pain, it proves that I am still alive."

His vision was dim, but Xie Cheng still kept his eyes on Ji Fuyun's injured waist.After a pause, he walked over and sat down next to Ji Fuyun, he could feel the cold air constantly coming from his body.

"Actually, I'm a very cowardly person." After a long silence, Ji Fuyun suddenly spoke.

"I know." Xie Cheng said, "You put all your motivation to live on He Zhongqing."

Ji Fuyun was dumbfounded.

"You are afraid of living, afraid of enduring these sufferings now, but the instinct of being human is to live, so you find yourself a reason to live, such as protecting He Zhongqing, such as your teacher's last words. Use this to convince yourself To overcome the pain, to persist in living. You are weaker than all the people here, you are not afraid of death, you are afraid of living."

The shell that Ji Fuyun painstakingly created was broken by Xie Cheng's words. He was a little flustered, but after thinking about it, he was about to collapse under the pressure of those emotions, wasn't he just about to say it?What is there to escape?

Ji Fuyun thought for a moment, and then began to narrate: "I used to have a very good friend named Ji Fufeng. Well, he and I belong to the same group of children in the orphanage. These people's names are Fuyue, Fuxue and so on. The dean said that he hoped that we could grow up freely. However, Ji Fufeng told me that it is because we are children without parents, just like clouds, wind, and moon, without a home. Ji Fufeng is really a special Smart man, he is a real genius, from the beginning of school, he sang all the way with an understatement, no one can replace him as the number one. Originally he was two years younger than me, but later, because of skipping grades and me I took the college entrance examination together, and I remember that he also helped me with my homework. At that time, I felt that he knew more than all the teachers.”

Thinking of the scene at that time, Ji Fuyun slightly curled his mouth, "When he was not in the same level as me, I was always competing with another girl for the first place. When he came, he sat on the throne with an absolute advantage. Me and That girl can only grab the second place. He is the kind of genius that makes people feel no jealousy. After the college entrance examination, he should be the provincial champion. If the national examination papers are the same, he will definitely be the first in the country. He also received an admission letter from a well-known foreign university, offering scholarships and bursaries. Everyone is praising him, everyone is saying that he will have a bright future. But he wakes me up in the middle of the night , Ask me why his parents don't want him when he is so smart?"

The corners of Ji Fuyun's mouth gradually turned down, and his voice became hoarse, "I told him that you were so young at the time, and your parents didn't know you were so smart. But he said, ah, so, then they didn't know that their son would be a Fool, why did you throw him away? Their son has no mental problems and no physical problems, so why not let him? I thought of many reasons to comfort him, but he refuted them one by one. In fact, those reasons even my own I can't even convince you. The national welfare system is perfect, and a couple won't be able to afford to raise a child. But there are still so many orphans in the orphanage, why do you think?"

Ji Fuyun looked at Xie Cheng.

"Maybe they think it's better for you to live in the orphanage than to follow them." Xie Cheng replied.

"Good?" Ji Fuyun shook his head with a sneer, "After the college entrance examination, there was a student in the class who was from a very good family and barely passed the exam. His parents were very happy, and they held a big feast, inviting teachers and classmates. His parents They are successful businessmen, but they are very humble in front of their son's teachers. They remember the names of every teacher who taught his son, and then toast each one to thank them. They can even name most of the students. Because they love their children, they are so familiar with the environment in which their son lives. Of course, they will also praise Ji Fufeng and me, because we came out of the orphanage, and it is always difficult to get good grades , I found it very inspirational. After the banquet, on the way back, Ji Fufeng said that he wanted to be alone for a while. I clearly felt that his mood was not right, but I let him go alone. The next afternoon, we Ji Fufeng's body was found in the lower reaches of the river on the mountain behind the orphanage."

"He committed suicide." Ji Fuyun suddenly covered his eyes, arched his back, and felt as if he was being scratched and torn apart by a beast, "He committed suicide! He died! Is this a good result? Is it better than suffering with his parents?" ?”

Xie Cheng looked at Ji Fuyun quietly, his eyes were rendered like amber by the moonlight.

"The dean called the police. No one believed that Ji Fufeng committed suicide. In their view, Ji Fufeng, who had a bright future, had no reason to commit suicide. But I know that he committed suicide. He felt that there was no hope for him to live. When the police After confirming that it was suicide and not homicide, those people began to regret again, saying why such a good person can’t think about it. I really don’t know how to cherish blessings. How many people can’t even think about such a good condition. They all feel that it’s okay to be abandoned by their parents It’s nothing, I can work hard on my own to create a bright future, but those people’s parents are still alive, so what’s their position to say it’s nothing? From Ji Fufeng’s point of view, the meaning of his life is not to achieve fame, but to enjoy being loved. Feeling. The smarter the person, the more sensitive, and the more sensitive the more painful. He often thinks that he will become more and more successful in the future, but he has no parents, and the person he cares about the most doesn’t care about him at all. Thinking about the days makes people feel hopeless. So, let’s die.”

"I walked along the river to the upper reaches, to the place where we played when we were young. There was a big stone engraved with Ji Fufeng's last words to the world: It is not easy for me to grow up. Is it a little extravagant for me to grow up healthy? Ji Fufeng gave his parents 16 years to come to him, but they never came, so Ji Fufeng didn't wait, this time, he abandoned them, Abandon this world."

"Later, I often dreamed that Ji Fufeng was standing by the river, calling me back, and he said, Ji Fuyun, do you want to walk with me? Do you want to walk together? This world is not good at all. My answer is, yes. "

"After waking up, I almost immediately rescued the place where Ji Fufeng jumped into the river, but the director came to see me, and he told me, you are the only role model in the orphanage, you have to be good. The instinct of life The confrontation with the desire to die finally came to a conclusion in the dean’s words. I told myself that I carried the hope of the orphanage and the dean, I wanted to live, and I couldn’t let them down. After entering university, I told myself that the agreement between you and Ji Fufeng has not been fulfilled yet. Ji Fufeng often said that we will study physics and the other will study biology in the future, and then we will live in a place isolated from the outside world. He will be responsible for all the electricity and appliances in the house. Planting vegetables, in this way, we can bid farewell to the world and don’t want that world anymore. I said to myself, Ji Fufeng is so smart, he will definitely do it without studying, but I can’t, at least I have to study hard. Later, I When I met Mr. He, he expected a lot from me. He hoped that I could continue my graduate studies and help him research new projects. I said to myself, Mr. He takes care of me so much, I can’t let him down, so I will help him Well. Then, I lived to this day."

"But, why do I have to sacrifice other people's lives for my life?" Ji Fuyun wailed in a low voice, "At first it was the teacher, now it is Mai Tianrui, in the future, will it be Zhong Qing? Or Gao Yiyang, Zhou Qiming and the others? Then what am I living for? Why didn't I die with Ji Fufeng?"

Ji Fuyun arched his body, his heart was numb with pain, as if the pipe connecting the heart and body was broken, and there was no support for the heartbeat.

Xie Cheng stretched out his hand and helped Ji Fuyun up, "Don't touch the wound."

In the dead of night, only Ji Fuyun's suppressed and painful cries echoed.There are many shadows in the forest, and the road ahead is misty.

"You live because you have the value of living." Xie Cheng finally spoke, his cold voice seemed to be able to penetrate the ice, calming the turbulent waves under the iceberg, "Your teacher died because he saved you, but the daughter he cares about the most is here You lived well under your protection, better than anyone else. Mai Tianrui died because he saved you, but he was satisfied because he protected you, and he would not feel sad because of your death. He wanted to keep you alive. You In the future, you will save many people with your own abilities, and you will feed and feed many hungry people, do you think it is meaningless to live like this?"

Xie Cheng turned Ji Fuyun's face and made him look directly at him: "As for those people you are worried about, Gao Yiyang, Zhou Qiming, and even He Zhongqing, are they afraid of death? No, they are more optimistic than you and try their best to live. You will not be afraid when death comes. People you worry about are not afraid of death, and those who are afraid of death you don’t need to worry about. So, what else do you have to be afraid of? Live well, live for yourself, one day, we will force Enough to break the rules."

Ji Fuyun was stunned and didn't speak.

Xie Cheng gave him time to figure it out slowly.

The moon has set on the western mountain, and the night is already past halfway.

"Want to hear my story?" Xie Cheng asked, and said without answering, "Do you know Mrs. Xie?"

"Which thanks?" Ji Fuyun subconsciously answered.

"Thank you Chengen."

Ji Fuyun was shocked.Xie Chengen, of course, knows that the richest man in Asia is only judged based on his public assets, and his private assets are even more difficult to count, and a gesture can cause a financial turmoil.What impressed Ji Fuyun most about him was that he once hired a botanist to cultivate a kind of orchid for him with a reward of one billion.If Professor He hadn't been researching "Fenghe" No. [-], he might have taken on this task.

"I am the eldest son of Xie Chengen, and I have a half-brother who is one month younger than me." Xie Cheng said, "I have never seen my mother. Xie Chengen said that she died because of dystocia. Living with my stepmother, my stepmother treats me well, she treats me no differently in front of Xie Chengen and in private, she is very gentle. When I was very young, I thought I had met a very good stepmother, but until one day, I saw her The attitude towards a stray dog ​​on the side of the road is exactly the same as that of me, full of tenderness and concern. I think I know the reason why she doesn't squeeze me, because I don't pose any threat to her, how can a stray dog ​​treat her A threat to her son? Then why should she destroy her elegant and dignified image."

"At that time, Xie Cheng'en sent my so-called younger brother Xie Yingfan abroad to study financial management, and sent me to Jue Ming Island. Where is Jue Ming Island? It is a hell where elite bodyguards are specially trained for big families. Ten years of training time is enough for Xie Ying Fan When I grow up, it is enough for me to die on Jueming Island. His arrangement can be seen at a glance. He handed over the Xie family to Xie Yingfan from the very beginning. Is having such parents really better than death?" Xie Cheng asked Ji Fuyun, " That friend of yours may have avoided the strangling by his own parents, after all, high IQ is likely to be inherited, at least they left Ji Fufeng a way out."

If Ji Fufeng were allowed to live in a family like Xie Cheng's, it would only be more painful for him who is sensitive.Therefore, Ji Fufeng should be lucky.Ji Fuyun felt that the despair he had always believed in seemed to be breaking down.

Seeing Xie Cheng staring at him, Ji Fuyun was surprised that Xie Cheng was comforting him with his own experience.So, will Xie Cheng feel pain when recalling such a thing?

"I heard Ye Feisheng talk about witc, what is it?" Ji Fuyun finally changed the subject, Xie Cheng seemed to him to be strong, and asked him if he felt sad?It should be an insult.

"A free organization." Xie Cheng smiled, "In the late period of Jue Desperate Island, although we are still not allowed to contact civilized society, they will demarcate some sea areas for us to carry out missions. And during one of my missions, I encountered a breakthrough. At that time, Mr. Jeanner of the defense line of Deadly Island was using a simple device to cross the sea area of ​​​​ten longitudes. Under his recommendation, I joined witc, and because of his help and teaching, I was on Deadly Island Survive deliberate assassination."

Ji Fuyun imagined those scenes, and suddenly felt a sense of isolation that he didn't know what was going on.Xie Cheng's world is thrilling and high-end, something he has never heard of before.And Xie Cheng may also find it difficult to understand the entanglements in his life.

Xie Cheng put his hand on Ji Fuyun's shoulder, "Mr. Jeannell spent his whole life vowing to travel to every corner of the earth. In fact, there are many places worth seeing in this world, such as the bottom of the sea, mountain tops, and virgin forests. A place that makes you feel amazing."

Ji Fuyun squinted at him, "Would you mind telling me your age?" He always spoke with a sense of vicissitudes.

"28."

Ji Fuyun curled his lips, almost as he guessed.

"Why, do you think I'm old?"

"No, it's only three years older than me." Ji Fuyun said, but changed the topic again: "As the saying goes, there is a generation gap between three years old. You and I are separated by the Mariana Trench."

"Did you know people from witc walk across the Mariana Trench like a walk?"

"Really?"

"of course."