Miss

Both sides of the asphalt road are full of ginkgo trees. In late autumn, the golden leaves fall in groups like rain, laying a thick golden carpet on the road that has passed through countless numbers. Special beauty.

Of course, it is deep winter now, and it is impossible to see such a scene.

Ye Ruizi was wearing a long down jacket, and she had finally made up her mind to change her long hair into short hair. In this weather, she was not used to wearing a scarf, so she always felt a chill on her neck.

She walked slowly on this once extremely familiar road, but for a moment she didn't know how she felt.

Eight years ago, she was 21 years old.

At that time, she finally died of wanting to go home, so she began to slowly accept everything in this world, and then she met Li Boxin.

At that time they were both members of the school's literary club, and Li Boxin was two years older than her.But the two are not in the same major. Li Boxin is a business management major, and she chose the philosophy of super cheating without fear.

Of course, her interest was not in that at that time, but for her at that time, vagueism was more to her appetite than practical actions. If possible, she even wanted to study theology.

But after all, there are still some things that can be done and some things that cannot be done. No matter how willful she is, she will not be ignorant of the seriousness.

At that time, she still had a girlish heart, and she was attracted by the gentle and elegant senior who picked up famous quotes and quotes at will. She was the first to go to the club every time, and she was super active in club activities every time.

Later, because they gradually became acquainted, the two got closer and closer, and then confirmed their relationship.

She knows that his favorite thing to eat is mushroom chicken rice in a small shop outside the school, she knows that his favorite drink is black coffee, she knows that he goes to the nursing home every Sunday, and she knows that he goes to the nursing home when it rains Don't like holding umbrellas, she knows...

She knows many things about him, and she hasn't forgotten those things even now.

However, there are always some things, even if you can't forget, you can only say goodbye.

Maybe it's because she doesn't feel it anymore, maybe it's... some other reasons she doesn't know.

Li Boxin is at the end of the road, where there is a ginkgo tree that is said to be more than 100 years old. They used to start there every time, and then he sent her to class, and she went to wait for him to finish class, go to the club together, go to dinner together , walk back here together.Then, one person moves forward, the other moves backward, walking separately.

Perhaps at that time, their ending was already doomed, right?She suddenly felt... Destiny is a very mysterious thing.

She used to not believe in fate just like those materialists, and she didn't believe that there were some inexplicable things in this world.

But this kind of thing slowly changed after she arrived here.

They kept silent, and started from here again, walking step by step to the classroom where they used to attend classes, to the library, to the literature club - peeking out the window, you can still see the article they jointly completed called happiness, and then, go downstairs.

They once held hands and hugged here, and made eternal vows here.

They continued to walk along the traces of the past, leaving the teaching building, library, gymnasium, and dormitory far behind, and finally walked out of the gate.

Turning to the right, the coffee shop named "forever" still opened a small door quietly, but the dark theme made people feel very at ease.

They pushed open the glass door with "open" and sat down on the second floor along the street.

A clerk came over and she smiled.

"A cup of black coffee and a... cappuccino."

When the coffee was served, Li Boxin reached for the cup of black coffee without hesitation, but she pushed it away, and she picked up the cup of cappuccino and put it in front of him.

Then put the black coffee in front of yourself.

"Ah Xin, there are some things that should be changed."

She still called this not too intimate title, they even used a nasty title like "Xin Xin" during their love, but the past is the past after all.

She changed, and so did he.

They have gone through different paths, and then they have gone farther and farther, and they no longer meet or overlap.

Li Baixin remained silent, he only realized now that he might have thought things too simply, maybe it was a mistake for him to follow Ye Siying's words and leave her side seven years ago.

But...he is not reconciled!

Obviously she knew that he didn't leave on purpose, and he didn't hurt her on purpose, and she also obviously lived alone for so many years, he couldn't believe that she wasn't waiting for him!

But why?Why is she rejecting him?

The answer he got was simple.

"I don't love you anymore, I have nothing but guilt for you."

Ye Ruizi walked out of the coffee shop alone in the end, and the fat proprietress of the coffee shop still smiled kindly.

"If you have a new boyfriend, please come here and grind a cup of coffee for him."

In fact, this place also offers couples to grind their own coffee. They used to come here to grind their own coffee. I don’t know if it’s because of this, but the proprietress still remembers them.

"Okay," she replied.

It's just that she can't know when this promise will be realized.

She took out sunglasses that could cover half of her face from her bag, put them on, then smiled at the winter sky, and left without hesitation.

in the coffee shop.

Li Boxin looked at the simple cover, and then opened the book.

This book is called "Thinking Like Crazy".

I miss you very much.

I look forward to our next meeting.

I hope that when we meet again, I still miss you as much as I do now.

Every day every day.

That's what I pray for.

But the dream will always wake up one day, no matter how long the dream is, it will finally come to an end.

My hope now is that I don't hate you anymore and I don't miss you anymore.

The time is so long, until I have grown up slowly, and I no longer believe in the existence of fairy tales.

No longer, believe in the so-called commitment.

Goodbye, first love.

I used to love you very much.

I used to -- I miss you very much.

Even if I wake up from the dream, I will cherish that crazy past for the rest of my life.

Thank you for being in my life.

Recorded by Ye Ruizi in the early morning of 2002.05.24

The proprietress brought a cup of black coffee herself, put it in front of him, and smiled at him.

"Do you want to taste it?"

If it is not the same mood, the taste will be different. He probably understands what the other party means.

but……

Being unable to let go is not the same as not wanting to let go.

The author has something to say: