Sparrow dream dance

"Ling'er...do you still remember when that person left?" Leng Lange asked on the sick bed.

Murong Ling lowered her eyebrows and replied softly, "Of course I can't forget...it was just after my seventh birthday..."

Leng Lange nodded, her eyes gradually became a little dazed, her thoughts seemed to drift to a long, long time ago, and her voice also became distant and moist:

"Yeah.. ever since I said goodbye to her when I was 16, she keeps leaving."

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She always stands alone at the highest place in Yanjing, where that person can't even look back, silently looks at the back of that person, and then says to herself in her heart: This time, You must let her go.

She has forgotten how many times she told herself to let go of that person.

Sometimes after a long time, she thought she had let go.But every time she sees that person, even if she just hears a little news about that person, every word and deed of that person will flood her heart again. . .

Even though she couldn't find it after years, she still remembered that the person said to herself at the beginning, "Exchange my heart for your heart, the sky will never die, and this feeling will not change."

Even later. .That man's heart had been exchanged for another bright and beautiful woman in the long time.

Why didn't she see it in her eyes, and knew that she really should let go.

However, the more determined a person is to let go, the more he will be unable to let go of the other party, because the determination to let go is precisely because he simply cannot let go.Just like a painful wound in a person's heart, if you don't think about it, it will rot deeper and deeper until it dies.

Since when did she decide to give this wound in her heart a severe stab?

Probably after she knew she was pregnant again.

That was the first night after she woke up from the poison in her body.When Su Wan told her the news, she was completely stunned.

Her eyes were moist. .He also remembered the night when he committed himself to Murong Xuan in order to save her. .But she doesn't understand. .She had obviously taken Gu and poison, and even walked through the palace of Hades once. .How could this child still be alive? .

She put her trembling palms on her abdomen, and a strange emotion gradually spread in her heart.

That was an emotion she never felt even when she was pregnant with Si Yan.

It was as if a voice came from the bottom of her heart, and that voice carried a dreamlike possibility, as if telling her that there might be hope for everything.

It's just that this hope didn't last long. When she embraced the man who was also wearing the big red wedding gown, she almost thought that this hope would come true.

But unexpectedly, in the end, the man said another woman's name in front of her.

At that moment, she finally realized that they. .No chance.

Now there is always another woman between her and her.

It was a woman who was completely different from her. She was more enthusiastic and brave than her. .Also luckier than her.

And soon, the two of them will be married.

She began to copy the Heart Sutra every night, telling herself every night: This time, I must let her go.

Until that night, that woman's sudden night visit.

In fact, when she looked up and saw her, frankly speaking, she was a little surprised.

After that person told herself that she chose someone else, she didn't understand why the woman in front of her came to her tonight.

Is it to humiliate her lonely self, to show off her upcoming wedding, or something else?

But what she didn't expect was that she came here to beg her to leave.

At that moment, she suddenly felt that she was also very pitiful.

It's so pitiful that I don't even know the heart of the person I love the most, or don't believe it.

Alas, maybe when a person really loves another person deeply, he can't help but think a lot, and it's easy to make a lot of regrettable decisions and say a lot of regrettable stupid things.But how could this be her fault?

It is inevitable to be born as a human being.

She Leng Lange is just like that.

So much so that later, she often wondered, if she hadn't done and said so many stupid things at that time, would she have at least not become what she is now. .Everyone looks so lonely.

After the night of killing in the Weiyang Palace, the old ministers in Emperor Jing's time were almost killed by that person.

The man also began to become diligent in administration, except for going to court every day, he was reviewing memorials.Occasionally, she would come here at sunset, but only to accompany Ling'er.

Only at that time, she could see her showing a smile.

She treated Ling'er very well, whenever she was free, she would personally accompany Ling'er in almost everything.

Play with her, eat with her, learn to read with her, and sleep with her. . .Except, she is not allowed to call herself 'Father Emperor'.

Ling'er is a smart child, as she grows up, she will always know many things from the whispers of the palace people.

On Ling'er's seventh birthday, she heard the man ask her what gift she wanted.

Ling'er rubbed the corner of her clothes, glanced at her secretly, and then asked in a low voice if the man could call her 'Father Emperor' from now on.

Seeing that the man was silent for a long time, she still shook her head.

At that moment, her heart throbbed and she was extremely sad.

Because she knew that Ling'er actually asked the question for her sake.

She suddenly remembered herself and her past, when the whole world didn't want her to be with her, even though she was powerless at that time, she dared to grab her hand and say in front of everyone that she must marry her .

But what about now?

Now in this world, no one dares to disobey her decision, even there is no one else between them, but she always avoids her.

Sometimes she also wondered if she would not even want to see her if it wasn't for Ling'er.

Seven years, seven years. .The man respected her even more than when her fourth brother was alive.

It was late at night, and after dismissing all the maids, she sat alone in the dark, suddenly wanting to get drunk.

She never drank, but now she doesn't care at all.

Following that man's example, she drank the wine in the glass in one swoop, but the burning sensation in her throat immediately made her cough again and again, until tears flowed down her cheeks silently.

She really wanted to cry without any scruples, but the fragility and grievance at this moment made her even lose the strength to cry.

She drank another cup, but still couldn't stop coughing violently, which made her heart and lungs hurt.

Tears fell into the empty bottle, she lowered her head, and saw scenes in a trance, all the past came to her heart.

In the moonlight, the man held his hand with a blushing handsome face, saying the phrase 'Ge'er, don't go'.

Under the sky full of stars, the man hugged himself and whispered the thoughts he had received in his ear.

In front of the ancient Buddha's blue lantern, the man held his own blue hair and couldn't help kissing him passionately.

. . . . . .

How beautiful it was once, how ridiculous it is now, like a perfect sarcasm.

The strength of the wine gradually increased, and in such a strong drunkenness, suddenly a pair of strong hands held down her hand holding the wine glass.

She raised her eyes and looked straight at the familiar slender silhouette, pale and thin face in front of her.

"You're so drunk that you can't drink any more." Her voice seemed to be mixed with regret and anger.

"I'm not drunk!" She shook her off vigorously, "You don't have to worry about me."

Even just this time, she wanted to indulge as much as she wanted.

She raised the wine glass again, but before she could put it to her lips, the man snatched it away and spilled all the wine on the ground.

She simply reached out to grab the jug, but the man grabbed her wrist tightly and pulled her hard, causing her to stagger and fall into the man's arms.

The whole palace suddenly became very quiet, and she felt her arms stiffen obviously, but she didn't let go.

It wasn't until she met her shallow eyes that she let go as if struck by lightning, and straightened her upright.

She finally smiled wryly, and said in a low voice, "You go."

The man stood still, just looked at her quietly, but his eyes were filled with emotions she couldn't understand.

"Leave me alone! Let's go!"

As soon as the man let go, she stood staggeringly, feeling that the tears in her eyes were about to flow down again, "Don't let the people in the palace see it, and spread the news of how unbearable you and I are behind our backs..."

Before she finished speaking, she suddenly grabbed her shoulders, and before she recovered, she was hugged horizontally by her.

I don't know if it was her illusion, but she felt the man's hand sink suddenly, as if she gritted her teeth before hugging herself again.

She is very skilled in martial arts, and it was always easy to pick her up before, but now. .why?

She hooked her neck and stared at the man's face, only to realize that a little white hair had emerged from her temples, and the corners of her eyes were also slightly vicissitudes.

Yes, the youth is gone, and she is no longer young.

Just as she was thinking, she had already hugged her onto the bed, bent down and gently put her down.

"Don't think too much, rest early."

After she finished speaking softly, she turned around to leave, but she couldn't help but grabbed her sleeve robe.

"Don't go..." She looked at her with tears in her eyes, "at least tonight, can you stay for me...don't leave me again..."

She stretched out her cold fingertips to wipe away the tears from the corners of her eyes, and forced a smile with red eyes, "Ge'er...you are so good and kind...I...I can't hurt you anymore..."

After finishing speaking, she still slowly pulled out the robe she was holding on to, and turned to leave.

"What if... what if I'm not such a nice and kind woman as you think?" She suddenly called out to her thin back, "What if... I also did some selfish and dirty things? "

She stopped, and veins slowly appeared on her forehead. She didn't look back, but gritted her teeth and said, "In my heart, you will never change."

She quickened her pace, as if she didn't want to hear what the people behind her said.

"Yes, I haven't changed... I have always loved you, Murong Yan." She knelt down on the couch and shouted with all her strength, "But what about you?"

Her hand on the door froze, she slowly retracted it, and clenched her fists, but she didn't answer.

Tears slipped into the corners of her lips, she raised a bitter smile, half drunk and half awake, said, "Do you know, on the day of your wedding, I will go to become a monk, but it's actually just a plan I devised."

She stood still, but her face was very tired.

"I knew I was pregnant a long time ago. It's just that I didn't tell Chu Xiati... because only in this way can I be sure that you will abandon her and come to me."

"Enough." She said dejectedly.

"I also know that the two guards were not sent by Chu Xiati, but in order to make you hate her, I told you that she wanted to harm me."

"Stop talking." She shook her head in pain, "I don't need to listen."

"Xiao Ziyan's death is also because I told her personally..."

"Enough is enough!!!" She suddenly turned around and shouted at her.

"...your real identity." She still said it word by word.

All of a sudden, the voice of "enough, enough" echoed in the empty hall, hitting the hearts of the people who were already riddled with holes.

Inside the hall, it was extremely quiet.

I don't know how long it took before I heard her hoarse voice slowly, "That's why I said, I can't hurt you anymore...you have done too much for me...whether it is good or bad...but only Because you are Leng Lange, I will always keep it in my heart."

Put everything about you in your heart.

She went back to her who was staring at her in a daze, sat beside her, and slowly turned her head towards her soft lips as if kissing her for the first time.

She closed her eyes subconsciously, as if she had waited for a lifetime, but she had waited for that scorching temperature on her forehead.

She stared wide-eyed in astonishment, and heard her say in a deep voice, "Actually, the person you have always loved is no longer me. You and I are just unwilling...not willing to admit that everything can no longer be repeated. Because of this unwillingness , we all hurt those closest to us, and we hurt ourselves as a result."

When that person left, she didn't know.

She just kept thinking about the last sentence that person said in her mind, "The person you love may look exactly like me, but I'm not her, and I can't tell you when you will see her again. But you So good and so kind, if I can meet her, I will definitely let her come to you."

The days passed like this day by day, and she would still come over as usual, to accompany Ling'er, and sometimes to have meals with herself.

It was as if nothing happened that night, nothing out of the ordinary.

Until one day, she met Su Wan in the palace.

Seven years ago, Su Concubine Su Wan participated in the instigation of Leng Xiang, she should have escaped death, but for some reason, in the end, Murong Yan not only did not grant her death, but made her the imperial concubine instead.

I heard that it was only because she took out a short blade.But no one has seen what kind of short blade it is.

"Didn't she tell you anything... All these years of overwork and illness, worrying too much... In addition, considering her status, she has never been willing to see the imperial doctor and let me heal her. In fact, her body has long been..." Su Wan said softly, looking at Leng Lange with a little sour envy.Because she understands that only when a person regards another person as more important than herself, will she not want the other person to worry about herself.

There was a buzzing in her head, and she murmured in disbelief, "Impossible... This is impossible... When did this happen?"

"It's been a while... Alas, you really don't know anything..." Su Wan seemed to hesitate before asking, "Madam, can you promise me something?"

"What?" she asked distraughtly.

"If...she really passed away, please allow me to take her to find sister." Su Wan said seriously.

When she heard this, her body shook violently, her nails were deeply embedded in her palm, and she said nothing.

Su Wan looked at Leng Lange who was staring at her, and suddenly knelt down towards her, choking with tears, "Ma'am... for you... for that child... she has given up on herself for too long... even if she I don’t say anything, but I also understand that she wants to see Sister A.. If it’s impossible when she’s alive, at least.. At least with her.. Please help me!”

She was silent for a long time, and finally said nothing, but turned around slowly and walked away gradually.

Walking in the gradually cold wind, her slender body was crumbling, and no one knew what she was thinking.

A few days later, Emperor Yan Ling, Murong Yan, died in Zhaolan Hall.

Soon, Qin King Murong Siyan succeeded to the throne, and she changed from her soft and soft attitude in the past, and became a majestic queen mother.

Wearing a white dress and plain clothes, she stood in front of her coffin and never shed tears.

It was rumored by the palace people that she was a truly merciless and ungrateful disaster, who poisoned Emperor Ling in order to let her son ascend the throne as soon as possible.

But she smiled lightly, stroked the man's coffin lightly, and said in a low voice:

"Go at ease, I will make up all the lies in the future for you."