Window 2, Seventh Canteen

Tossing until the early morning, not to mention Han Zilu, Jiang Wei himself was about to fall apart, lying on Han Zilu's shoulders, sweating and falling asleep directly.

After his breathing stabilized, Han Zilu got up, helped him and himself clean up a little, then went to the kitchen to pour water, and took four pills as usual.

It took some time for the sleeping pills to take effect, so Han Zilu put on his clothes, took a cigarette, and walked to the balcony as usual.

It had only rained in the evening, and the wind in the summer night brought a rare coolness and was slightly humid.

Gray-white smoke floated from between his lips, blending into the night.

There are frogs and insects not far away.

After smoking a cigarette, Han Zilu felt a little cold. Looking at the distant neon lights in the night, he suddenly remembered that most of this summer has already passed.

In autumn, when the new semester begins, Jiang Wei will enter his senior year.

Han Zilu walked back to the bedroom, still not feeling sleepy, seeing Jiang Wei kicking off the quilt and lying naked, he helped him cover his stomach, and sat on the edge of the bed to watch him.

Jiang Wei's appearance is not the type that surprises at first glance, but it is very attractive, handsome and sunny, and he will never get tired of looking at it for a long time. It is the type he has always liked.

Jiang Wei is a bit rough, not careful enough, occasionally impulsive, but very serious, even his personality is the type he likes.

Even if you only look at these two points, the big boy in front of you is attractive enough to Han Zilu, not to mention that he came out to his father in order to be with him, and generously introduced himself to his classmates and teachers.

With him, Han Zilu seldom felt the shadows in his life. The embarrassment and embarrassment of liking the same sex that had followed him for many years seemed insignificant in front of him.

After a long time, even Han Zilu himself occasionally wondered why he was so miserable and wandering in the past, why he was always in the mud because of the word "gay".

In fact, he also knows that two men being together is more difficult than heterosexuality from any point of view. The reason why he has these feelings is because he is with Jiang Wei and is influenced by his fearless attitude.

If he left Jiang Wei, what awaited him would still be that gloomy world, and he would be like before, groping at a loss and not knowing how to move forward.

You can't go against your heart, and you can't fight reality.

As early as when he first met, he was attracted by Jiang Wei's bright eyes, but he didn't expect that this big boy would bring so much light to his world.

He got a lot from him that he never even dared to think about. He is very grateful for these, but after being grateful, what can he give in return?

Indeed, he can take care of Jiang Wei's life and do his best to treat him well, but he dare not think about the future between the two of them.

Among other things, he couldn't imagine just coming out to his parents.

Han Zilu's family is special, he has too much gratitude and debt to his parents, and it's too late to repay, so how can he open his mouth to make them sad.

But Jiang Wei has done so much for him, if he doesn't work hard to fight for it, he will also be sorry to Jiang Wei.

For this person in front of him, he really wanted to get along with him forever, and wanted to be together for the rest of his life.

But the more he thought about the future, the more flustered he became.

Fear and uncertainty are like summer weeds, which grow wildly in the heart. Han Zilu loves Jiang Wei, and the grass will grow one inch taller. If there is more dependence, the grass will grow one foot taller.

At the beginning, I thought that cohabitation would kill the passion the most. Those trivial and messy things in life would slowly fade the love part, and disheveled and unkempt clothes would also reduce the goodwill between each other.

But living together until now, Han Zilu loves Jiang Wei more and more day by day.

It's not that he hasn't liked others before, nor has he never dated with others, but it's the first time that he has been together day and night like this.

Unexpectedly, the love that blends into daily life is so warm and strong.

Han Zilu knows that he loves Jiang Wei very much, but the more he loves, the more he is afraid of losing.

I was often uneasy before, but after this kidnapping, the feeling of uneasiness has become stronger.

Han Zilu has been thinking for the past few days, if he was not with Jiang Wei on the day of 798, if Jiang Wei was taken away and disappeared from his life, even if it was only a few days, how would he face it.

And if something happened to Jiang Wei and he never came back, how would he face his future life.

He is a chef. Although he lived in the countryside since he was a child, he is very picky about the food because of his occupation. It is a simple reason. Once he is used to good food, it is difficult to accept rough food.

And getting used to the life of two people, it will be difficult to go back to the days when it doesn't matter to one person.

There are too many uncertainties in the future, he doesn't know how long Jiang Wei will be by his side.

There are too few relationships that can come to an end. When people are young, most of the relationships are doomed to die. Even if there is no clear conflict, it may end without a problem.

Han Zilu has many fears in his heart, but he can't escape them. Ever since he fell in love with Jiang Wei, he kept vaccinating himself, telling himself not to be too involved, and to set a bottom line for himself, so that no matter when Jiang Wei leaves, He can go back to being alone again.

But the longer you are together, the less effective this pre-prevention will be.

No matter how much distress he felt in his heart before, at least Han Zilu felt that he was always in control of his life and emotions.

But now it's different.

His life was divided into two halves, one half was kept for himself, and the other half was given to Jiang Wei.

Under the light of the desk lamp, Jiang Wei slept soundly, as if without worries.

Sometimes when Han Zilu looked at him, he would feel that he was worrying too much and it was unnecessary, but in a flash, the weeds in his heart swayed again, making his heart itch.

It's not that Han Zilu doesn't have good fantasies about the future, nor does he have positive expectations, but when he thinks of those bad possibilities, he is very afraid and often hopes that time will stop there.

When he was kidnapped, he even had more radical thoughts - it's good for the two of them to be tied together for the rest of their lives.

Or, it would be a good destination to die together like that.

How terrible, he obviously loves him, but wants to drag him to death.

A boy as sunny as Jiang Wei naturally wouldn't understand these thoughts in his heart, and he couldn't explain them to him. All negative emotions were suppressed in his heart and carefully hidden.

However, this kind of emotion is too much, and it still occasionally gets out of control.

Han Zilu often wanted a definite answer. Although he knew that words could not soothe his anxiety, he still couldn't help asking.

"Will we be together forever?" His fingers gently sank into Jiang Wei's hair, stroking.

Jiang Wei was fast asleep, so naturally he couldn't answer.

But Han Zilu knew that if he was awake, he would definitely give himself an affirmative answer.

Jiang Wei was very firm every time he answered this kind of question, as if Han Zilu's question was not about the mysterious future, but whether the sun would rise and whether the earth was round.

Those answers made Han Zilu happy, but they couldn't kill the weeds in his heart.

After thinking too much that night, Han Zilu barely fell asleep at dawn, and when he opened his eyes, it was almost noon.

Jiang Wei also just woke up, blinking at him with a bit of embarrassment on his expression.

Han Zilu: "What's wrong?"

Jiang Wei: "Yesterday, I didn't know what happened. Well, it didn't hurt you, did it?"

Han Zilu: "Did you not see my expression when I did it?"

Jiang Wei: "I see."

Han Zilu: "Then you didn't hear my voice?"

Jiang Wei's face turned red, "I heard that."

Han Zilu gently kissed Jiang Wei's face, and leaned into his ear, "Does it look unpleasant? Or does it sound unpleasant? I remember I screamed hard."

Jiang Wei: "..." His face turned even redder, but the embarrassment quickly passed, and joy filled his heart. He rubbed his nose against Han Zilu's ear, "It's cool, isn't it?"

Han Zilu: "It's so cool." When he spoke, his smile was teasing, Jiang Wei saw that his whole body was hot again, and if he continued like this, he might pounce on him again.

No, no, let Zilu rest.

"It's so bright now, what time is it..." Jiang Wei touched the phone while talking, "Wow, it's 11:30! Wow, my dad called me, and there is a text message. Check it out... …Well, he said that we will have lunch together at noon, let me see and call him back, wait a minute, I’ll give him a call.”

Jiang Wei dialed the phone, and the father and son discussed the location of lunch in a few words. At this time, Han Zilu had already got out of bed, and when Jiang Weiwei hung up the phone, he picked him up from the bed.

Jiang Wei had never been hugged by Han Zilu before, so he was embarrassed for a moment, but then he thought it was fun, and hugged Han Zilu's neck, "Is this a reward from last night?"

"Take you to take a shower. I didn't wash after finishing yesterday. You can smell it yourself. It smells like semen."

Jiang Wei turned her head and bit Han Zilu's ear, making him stiff, "Sperm doesn't smell like semen, maybe it smells like semen. Now that I'm so disgusted, didn't I eat a lot yesterday?"

Han Zilu: "Yesterday it was fresh, but now it's overnight."

When the shower was turned on, Jiang Wei looked at Han Zilu's handsome face, thinking about freshness and overnight, and had to admit, "You won."

Lunch was set at the Xinjiang office in Beijing, the reason was simple, Father Jiang said he was greedy for mutton.

The three of them ordered a table full of dishes, such as lamb chops, mutton soup, scallions, fried lamb, grilled, boiled, and fried.

Obviously it was Jiang's father who said he was greedy for mutton, but Jiang Wei was the worst eater when the dishes came out, as if his relatives did not recognize him.

Beside him, Han Zilu was eating yogurt, Jiang's father was drinking mutton soup, the two of them were not in a hurry, they ate in a gentle manner, and they did not delay their chatting. The car is talking.

Their conversations were very polite and polite, like two friends who just met. They talked about everything from the weather to the economy, from hobbies to life knowledge, but rarely touched on personal issues.

Regarding the matter of Han Zilu and Jiang Wei, Jiang's father didn't mention it, and Han Zilu naturally didn't mention it. It wasn't until Jiang Weiyi had a bowl of yogurt that the topic was brought up on the dinner table.

Jiang Wei wiped his mouth, "Dad, Zilu's cooking is very delicious, I will show you to try it when I have a chance, but you have to be careful of getting fat, I think I will be fattened by him." He looked down at his stomach.

Father Jiang: "He's stronger than before." He looked at Han Zilu, "I'm used to my son being a picky eater. If you are used to him in the future, he will probably be even pickier."

Jiang Wei smiled happily, she didn't think there was anything wrong with what her father said, but she didn't know that Han Zilu's heart was surging at this time.

Jiang's father said this because he recognized his relationship with Jiang Wei face to face, which made him feel a little overwhelmed with joy, and he didn't know how to answer the words for a while.

But in the next sentence, Jiang's father changed the topic, and the question pointed to the key point, "Zi Lu, your family doesn't know about you yet, right? You are a few years older than Wei Wei, is the family pressing? What are your plans for the future?" ?”

Han Zilu's heart was pounding. He had asked himself this question countless times, but he couldn't get an answer.

"I'll find a way to explain it to them, don't worry, uncle." Hearing what he said, Han Zilu's tongue seemed uncontrollable.

Father Jiang gave him a smile back and didn't continue the topic, but Han Zilu became more and more flustered.

rest assured?How can you rest assured?Think of a way to explain?What should I do?

No matter how it is laid out, and what tone and attitude is used to say it, Han Zilu knows better than anyone else the destructive power of the sentence "Dad, I like men" to the family.

What is he going to do so as not to hurt his family?

Thinking of this level, Han Zilu couldn't eat a mouthful of food, and was a little absent-minded for the rest of the time. It wasn't until Father Jiang answered the phone and announced the expected bad news to them that he brought his attention back to reality.

Jiang's father frowned and said to Jiang Wei: "Your uncle Feng called, didn't you have a physical examination yesterday? There is something wrong with the physical examination report, we have to go to the hospital in the afternoon."

Jiang Wei: "What's the problem?"

Jiang's father hesitated for a moment, and then said two words that Jiang Wei did not expect, "ice-poison."