Window 2, Seventh Canteen

In fact, Han Zilu woke up an hour ago, but just lay down and didn't get up.

After a night's rest, people's thinking is relatively clear in the early morning, and with the fever subsided, they feel clearer than usual.

It seems that some thoughts were once surrounded by a layer of fog, but now the fog has lifted.

In front of him was a deserted forest.

The sun is shining outside the forest, and the forest is dark and deep.

The sun is nice, but it is too monotonous. The depths of the forest are attractive, but full of unknown dangers.

He felt like he was standing on the edge of the forest watching, unsure whether to move on or stay where he was.

But even though he couldn't make up his mind, one thing was clear - he was very interested in this forest.

He likes Jiang Wei.

Although we have only known each other for a few months, although the degree is not deep, the feeling of liking is very clear.

In the eight years of No.20's life, he fell in love with a straight man for the second time.

Regarding this point, he used to be skeptical. After all, the time of acquaintance is very short, and they don't know each other deeply. With his personality, he will not fall in love with anyone so easily.

But things often don't go the way you expected.

Those unplanned emotions are your truer heart.

He couldn't even figure out what attracted him to that ordinary college student, but he could clearly feel that gravitational force.

Let him always give the other party more attention unconsciously.

It's a pity that this is not a relationship full of joy, or Han Zilu can't see any hope.

It was okay to say it when it was vague before, but now that you want to understand it, you have to think more about it.

Do you let yourself continue to like it and wait for this relationship to disappear naturally, or use some coercive means to get yourself out of it.

As for the possibility of being together, Han Zilu had never fantasized about it, but he didn't take it into consideration.

Straight men are straight men, and even if they "break up" together, they won't last long.

Lessons learned from the past, the same mistakes will not be made again.

It's just that although I know it in my heart, it's not so easy to do it.

After carefully considering all kinds of issues, Han Zilu still couldn't make a decision.

He feels that there seems to be such a balance between emotion and reason, and its existence is hardly felt at ordinary times, but once emotion is placed on one end, more reason will be added to the other side.

The two ends swung in a jerk of patience.

This is a very bad situation, and Han Zilu doesn't want to go through it.

The best situation he can think of now is to control himself, don't go into the forest, don't give any more emotion to Jiang Wei, clean up his emotions, and get along with him like ordinary friends.

Of course, this kind of situation is difficult to do. It is more likely that he will take the initiative to cut off contact with Jiang Wei to force himself to stop thinking about it.

Of course, there are worse situations, for example, if he fails to control his feelings well and the two have a relationship entanglement, then not only will the contact be broken in the end, but they may also hold grudges against each other.

Either way, it was not what Han Zilu wanted.

After much deliberation, he only felt full of depression.

When Jiang Wei knocked on the door, Han Zilu heard it. He could agree, but he didn't. At that moment, his heart was in such a mess that he couldn't figure it out.

Happiness, anticipation, apprehension, fear, expectation, pessimism, all kinds of emotions came with the knock on the door in an instant.

He won't deal with it, he can only be silent.

But the troubled mood didn't last long.

Later, Jiang Wei opened the door and entered the house, instantly changing the situation.

Those negative emotions disappeared one by one, and happiness and anticipation instantly filled my heart.

And these emotions also reached a peak when the forehead was touched.

When he opened his eyes, his emotions were even a little out of control.

Those too complicated things overflowed in his eyes. Although Jiang Wei couldn't distinguish clearly, he could also see that Han Zilu's expression was different from usual.

Jiang Wei looked into Han Zilu's eyes, and wanted to ask him if he was better, but for some reason, he couldn't speak.

There was something in those eyes that Jiang Wei had never seen before, which attracted his attention like a magnet, and made him want to explore something.

But what to explore, he himself could not figure out.

The faint morning light shines through the curtains, casting a thin line on the wall.

The two looked at each other like this, and the initial ambiguity had returned to calm. They both felt that they should say something, but they couldn't say it for a while.

After seven or eight seconds, Jiang Wei withdrew his hand from Han Zilu's forehead. At the same time, Han Zilu looked back at the morning light reflected on the wall.

Jiang Wei also turned his eyes away, and after looking around the room, he went back to Han Zilu, cleared his throat and said, "Morning."

Han Zilu sat up from the bed, "Morning."

"Is it better?" Jiang Wei asked while sitting on the edge of the bed.

"It's not burning anymore, that's all."

"Hahaha, that's fine."

"Ah."

In a few words, the atmosphere returned to normal, as if those seven or eight seconds had never existed.

After chatting casually for a few more words, the two of them washed and changed their clothes.

Half an hour later, Han Zilu knocked on the door of Jiang Wei's room, saying that Uncle Huang had returned, and asked him if he wanted to go down and say hello.

Of course Jiang Wei agreed.

The two went downstairs side by side, and Jiang Wei finally met the legendary Uncle Huang.

Uncle is dark-skinned, slightly fat, wearing a waistcoat and a round hat, very typical Hui costumes, he has a very kind face, but there is a sharpness in his eyes that can't be hidden, Jiang Wei unconsciously looks at him A little more respect.

Uncle first helped Han Zilu feel the pulse, gave a few instructions, and then looked at Jiang Wei.

Han Zilu introduced Jiang Wei to Uncle A, and the two chatted casually.

Then Uncle put the pipe away from his waist and stood up.

He yelled into the yard, "Boys, start working!"

Mrs. Yang and two teenage boys carried buckets and splashed water to wash the yard. Huang Zhiyong and his brother Huang Zhiyi were responsible for leading the two cows out of the barn.

Some unknown men moved two large wooden tables from outside the door.

Aunt Yang took out a black cloth and covered the cow's eyes, and then, the shining big knife was placed on the table.

Jiang Wei looked at the two cows and thought of Liu Tiao.He touched Han Zilu who was standing next to him, and asked in a low voice, "Is the cow really very human?"

"Yes, so you have to cover your eyes, otherwise the cow will cry when it sees this."

Jiang Wei looked at Han Zilu in surprise, and Han Zilu smiled, "Children who grew up in your city may not be exposed to these things. When I was young, I fell into the river once, and it was my old scalper who saved me."

Jiang Wei blinked, "Your family is from the countryside?"

"Yes what's the matter?"

"No, it just doesn't feel like it."

"Then what is the image? Do people in the city have the city on their faces, and people in the countryside have the countryside on their faces?"

Jiang Wei smiled, "You're right, but I don't mean anything else, I just think you're so picky about what you make, unlike the rural ones, shouldn't the rural ones be rougher?"

Han Zilu: "You are wrong. The really delicious food is grown in our own land and raised in our yard. It is because we are used to eating these when we are young, and we will be picky when we grow up. In fact, the so-called picky is just I just want to restore the flavors I ate when I was a child.”

Jiang Wei let out a long "oh", "Understood."

Han Zilu pointed to the center of the yard, "It's time to kill the cow."

Jiang Wei's face changed. Although he knew that these cows were brought here to be killed, but now he really saw the battle in the yard, and felt that it was completely different from what he imagined.

The thoughts in my heart blurted out, "Can I not watch?"

Han Zilu: "Of course you can, but I suggest you stay."

Jiang Wei asked why with his eyes.

Han Zilu said: "Because they will become our food, this is a very personal idea, but I think watching them die is a kind of respect, respect for food, and respect for life."

Jiang Wei understood, and didn't ask any more questions. The two quietly looked at the center of the yard.

Uncle Huang smoked a few cigarettes, then took the big bowl and drank the whole bowl of wine.

He picked up a thin knife, walked between the two cows, whispered something, and then gently stroked the cow's head.

Feeling, raising and lowering the knife, the sharp knife sank into the cow's neck and then quickly pulled out. The first cow swayed its front legs, leaned forward and fell forward. Before it lay down, the second cow also died.

The whole process took only a few seconds, and Jiang Wei couldn't even see what happened, and the two cows lay on the ground.

Huang Zhiyong and Huang Zhiyi walked forward carrying buckets and began to prepare for bloodletting and cleaning.

Jiang Wei was still immersed in an indescribable shock, Han Zilu patted him on the shoulder, "Don't look behind, go for a walk, and have breakfast by the way."

"Can you eat it?"

"The more you watch it, the more you get used to it."

Jiang Wei didn't say anything, and followed Han Zilu out of the gate.

The two walked along the road to a crowded place, Han Zilu took Jiang Wei into a small shop and ordered two bowls of bait.

While waiting, Jiang Wei suddenly asked: "Then have you ever killed a cow?"

"No."

"Oh."

After a while, two bowls of bait were served.

Han Zilu asked, "Do you have an appetite now?"

Jiang Wei smelled the scent of bait silk, and instantly became hungry, "Is this similar to rice noodles?"

"Well, it's also made of rice."

Jiang Wei took a sip. Yunnan people have a strong taste, and there are hot sauce and pickled cabbage floating in the shredded bait for breakfast.

The pickled cabbage was sour and appetizing, Jiang Wei picked it up and finished it first, then suddenly asked: "Then have you killed anything else?"

"Well, there are quite a lot, including chickens, ducks and geese." Han Zilu replied while eating, "Isn't it afraid of affecting your appetite if you say these things now?"

"It's okay, the strength just now is over, how did you feel when you started?"

Han Zilu put down his chopsticks, seemed to be remembering, and replied after a while: "It's more complicated, but overall I was scared. I was five years old at that time, and my family would kill chickens every New Year and holiday. I didn't dare to watch it, so I hid away." Later, my dad found out and forced me to practice killing chickens.”

"Ah? No, you're only five years old."

"It's pretty normal in the countryside."

"Then you must have been terrified."

"Actually not." Han Zilu looked at the chopsticks, "At first, I was afraid to watch my dad kill chickens, but then I couldn't help it. I forced myself a few times, and I was not afraid anymore. Just like my dad said, I really want to do it. In fact, there is nothing impossible to do, among the children, I have the most stable hands, so later, the job of killing chickens at home was entrusted to me."

Jiang Wei couldn't help frowning, always feeling that this didn't sound right, but couldn't tell what was wrong for a while.

He didn't speak again until after the meal, "Are you really not afraid? Are you just pretending not to be afraid?"

Han Zilu looked at Jiang Wei, and answered after a long time, "Maybe."