you are in my heart

In the spring of 87, his eldest son Wu Shichang came to the United States to visit him from the mainland.

He asked sister Qiu to bring Shichang in, and said only one sentence with a cold face, "Wu Zhenghong, listen to me: I, Wu Zishan, don't have a son like you!"

After he finished speaking, he waved his hand, motioning for sister Qiu to see the guest out.

Shichang originally came in with his head down, but when he heard his words, he fell to his knees with a plop, and refused to get up no matter what.

He sneered, sitting in the big grand master's chair in the study, knocking the pineapple stick on the ground, from early morning to noon, without saying anything.

Forgive, what a simple word.But he wouldn't say it, and he didn't want to.

Shichang was already in his fifties, and his knees were shaking when he knelt on the ground. In the end, he couldn't even kneel stably, shaking his puffy body as if he was about to fall.Sister Qiu looked at him in embarrassment, and then at Wu Shichang, not knowing what to do.

Shichang finally couldn't kneel anymore. He mustered up his courage and called out in a low voice: "...Dad?..."

He immediately became angry, turned his back to Shichang, and said each word firmly: "Don't bark! I don't have a son like you!" The crutch hit the cold ground fiercely with a burst of anger. Going up, sister Qiu trembled in fright, and immediately let go of the hand that secretly supported Shichang.

Shichang stood there in a daze, wanting to say something more, but he heard him say again: "Wu Zhenghong, stay away from me, the farther the better... I am old, I won't live long, please give me a few days to be clean!"

Shichang put his hands on the ground, unable to support his trembling body, he raised his head in shame, and said with tears streaming down his face, "Dad...please forgive me...Dad..."

Wu Zishan sat in the rattan chair with one hand on his cane, and asked him with a sneer: "Wu Zhenghong, did you forget what was written on the plaster board you hung around my neck? I am a big capitalist whose legs were discounted by my own son." Ah? I only know Wu Shichang! That’s my eldest son! I gave him his name myself!”

Shichang dug hard at the ground, as if he wanted to drill his nails into it.He couldn't speak anymore, his vision was blurred by cloudy tears, and there was a hoarse and weird sound in his throat, but he couldn't make out what it was.

Wu Zishan stood up and left without looking back, leaving only Shichang and sister Qiu in the room.

Shichang was still kneeling there, but Sister Qiu carefully helped him up, and helped him slowly leave the old house.

She really couldn't bear to see Shichang go back like this. When she sent him out, she kindly persuaded him: "The master is in a bad mood recently, you will come to see him in a while? If you come a few more times, the master will soften...Father and son How can there be..."

Shichang smiled wryly and shook his head: "Please help me take care of the old man, I can't serve him anymore, I'm not filial, I'm not filial..."

Sister Qiu stared blankly at Shichang's old back, but couldn't find any words to comfort him.

Sister Qiu is a Malay, how did she understand the vigorous political movement in the mainland in the 70s and [-]s?At that time, husband and wife could turn against each other, and it was common for father and son to become enemies. Of course, she didn't understand these things.

She only knew that the master had always been good-tempered, but she didn't expect to lose such a big temper today.

When she entered the master's study room again, she was a little frightened, wondering if the master was still angry, but found him in a daze in front of the desk.She tentatively asked: Master, is the tea cold?

Wu Zishan shook his head, and Sister Qiu breathed a sigh of relief, letting go of her hanging heart.

Wu Zishan was still lost in thought in the study.In fact, when Shichang came, Wu Zishan didn't want to see him at first, but then he thought again: It's been so many years, why bother?

It's just that he didn't expect that when Shichang really knelt in front of him and asked him to forgive him, he couldn't say anything.

After so many years, he thought he had forgotten everything, 20 years ago, 50 years ago, he thought he had forgotten everything...

However, as soon as he saw Shichang, all those old things flooded out, and all of them were blocked in his chest, like huge boulders, making him unable to breathe...

……

He didn't blame Shichang for changing his name, he didn't blame Shichang for breaking his leg, he didn't blame Shichang for sending him to northern Jiangsu, and he didn't blame Shichang for burning all his collections.

He just hated Shichang for burning Yongze's calligraphy and painting, hated Shichang for driving Ziqing's wife crazy, hated the era of cannibalism, hated Shichang for being confused, and hated himself for being cowardly.

He stood up, and there were pale yellow winter jasmines blooming outside the window, clusters of Susu flowers gathered together, quietly revealing a faint fragrance.

When those Yingchun were still in [-], he specially entrusted a friend to bring them from the mainland. There was no such variety in the United States.In the first few years when it was planted, the branch was always scorched and scorched, as if it was about to die, but it never died. It got better in the year before last, and some new branches were planted, and it was not so dead.

In the spring of this year, the buds opened and the flowers bloomed...

He smiled wryly to himself: the flower is getting better, but he is getting worse and worse.When I was young, how could I have imagined that people grow old so quickly, but how can life be so slow these days...

He thought hard, how long has it been since that time?Since then...

He closed his eyes, he was old, really old... More than 50 years have passed.Time is like water, really, really like water, bit by bit, section by section, it all flows away slowly.

He was in northern Jiangsu 20 years ago, he was in Zhejiang 30 years ago, and earlier?Earlier... 50 years ago, he was in Shanghai...Shanghai... that's where he met Yongze and lived with Yongze for two years...

He shook his head, opened his eyes, and looked at the dim dusk outside the window, feeling suddenly desolate in his heart.What else do you want him to do?Zishan asked himself, all these years have passed, he died, Ziru died, Ziliu died, and even James died, and he was the only one alive, what else was he thinking about?

What is there to think about! ...

He wanted to go downstairs for a walk, but as soon as he got up, sister Qiu hurried over and asked him, "Master?"

He smiled helplessly, "Just come down for a walk, it's fine." Sister Qiu stood aside, her eyebrows lowered cautiously.

He sighed, "Sister Qiu, play a record for me."

Sister Qiu looked at him, not knowing which one to put, the shelves were full of Miss Ziqing's collection.Sister Qiu thought to herself, how could the master like it?

"Just put one at random." He relieved Sister Qiu.

oh!Sister Qiu randomly picked one and put it away.

The singing sounded slowly, and he listened carefully.

For the first time, he listened to this kind of song seriously.The sweet and greasy female voice, the soft tone, and the very simple lyrics are nothing more than what you say about me.

He began to smile and sat down gently.

In old Shanghai decades ago, such songs were always played on the phonograph.

……

At that time, he was only 23.

……

At that time, he was so young.

...All the memories are so vivid, as if it happened yesterday...