Those years when I was taken away by the boss

The kiss was neither passionate nor tender.

Shu Shi's eyes were slightly red.

He doesn't like that Zhong Ruji doesn't say anything, and he doesn't like the cold war. This person is always touching when he is gentle, and always hurts when he is cold.

Zhong Ruji wiped the end of Shushi's eyes, and licked between his slightly parted lips.

Shu Shi put his hand on his shoulder and wanted to push him away a long time ago.

He actually felt that Zhong Ruji was coaxing him.

But he was still a little angry.

The comforting kiss didn't go deep, and after it was over, Zhong Ruji said "Sorry" in a low voice.

Shu Shi stared at him for a long time, then turned his head to the side and exhaled.

"I didn't want to hide it from you, and I didn't mean not to speak on purpose. I was just thinking about... how to explain this reason." Zhong Ruji touched the side of Shu Shi's face, his eyes were a little divergent, as if he hadn't completely recovered from a certain memory. withdraw.

"This reason is a bit embarrassing, to me." He laughed a little self-deprecatingly, and the last few words were so light that they could almost be blown away by the wind.

Shu Shi was angry, but he couldn't help but look over when he heard such a tone. He sullenly put on an expression of "I'm still angry, please explain it carefully".

Shu Shi knew that Zhong Ruji had a habit. When he was thinking or struggling, he usually made some small movements with his hands, such as knocking on the table, turning the pen or other things, and he couldn't stay idle anyway.

Now, he saw Zhong Ruji's hand raised a few centimeters, and he seemed to realize that something was stuck in mid-air, then he clenched his fingers and lowered his hand as if nothing had happened.

He had a premonition that Zhong Ruji's reason was enough to affect the choice he had already made.

"You should know the specialness of the residential area," Zhong Ruji said, "Ping Yiqiu probably told you about it."

Shu Shi hummed, continued to look at him, and glanced at his hands from time to time.

Zhong Ruji's hands are slender and strong, most of the time they are dry and warm, he likes to see the beautiful knuckles that protrude when he exerts a little force, and also likes to see the opponent's hand resting on his wrist when he raises his wrist.

It is precisely because of these preferences that he finds that Zhong Ruji's emotions are often betrayed by these hands.

"I live in the residential area, and my life must be taken care of by the seniors in the mission area." Zhong Ruji curled his fingers, and quickly let go, "The seniors taught me a lot, and to me, they are my few relatives .”

There was a warm light in his eyes, which Shu Shi had seen many times.

"I can't leave the residential area, so I can't walk into their lives. All I can do is wait, because they will come to accompany me every day." Zhong Ruji took a deep breath, and then clenched his fingers lightly, "Later One day, I discovered that several seniors had never been to the residential area for a long time... so I knew what death is and what is farewell."

He spoke more and more slowly, and there was even a slight smile in his voice, which made people feel astringent: "They left my life one by one, and my relatives disappeared completely in this world."

Zhong Ruji smiled and lowered his eyes: "Afterwards, I stayed in the residential area and looked through the window, but I couldn't find any familiar figures anymore. I thought, I might be abandoned by this world."

Shu Shi also took a deep breath, feeling at a loss at this moment.

He never asked about Zhong Ruji's past, it seemed that it had become an unspoken agreement between the two, but at this moment, Zhong Ruji cut himself open and showed him those old wounds.

Those scars that were once dripping with blood but now scabs have healed and faded in the precipitation of the years, but they will never disappear. As long as you see it, you will remember the pain at that time.

Sensing his emotions, Zhong Ruji kissed the corner of his mouth affectionately: "Take it as a story, don't pay too much attention to it."

This sentence is almost the same as when he said "covering the sky and blocking out the sun".

He always seems to be able to face the past calmly and calmly.

Shu Shi held onto Zhong Ruji's wrist until the tense tendons under his hand slowly relaxed, and the tightly clenched fingers gradually stretched out without withdrawing his hand.

He had never experienced such a thing, but the word "abandoned" was deeply imprinted in his memory, unforgettable.He couldn't feel Zhong Ruji's feelings, but there was something called sadness that flowed through the corners of his heart continuously through the nerves, rushing clamorously to his limbs and bones.

Zhong Ruji was a little helpless, and rubbed his hair: "Too much empathy is not a good thing."

"You know you still abuse me." Shu Shi's voice was a little hoarse, and he said unreasonably, "I'm not finished getting angry yet, you just made my heart hurt on purpose."

"Well, my fault." Zhong Ruji said obediently, rubbing his hair again.

Shu Shi muttered to himself awkwardly: "I didn't see you talking so easily just now."

"My fault." Zhong Ruji coaxed.

Shu Shi's breathing was messed up, probably because of the pain in his heart, which made him have to take deep breaths to make himself feel better.

"If you feel so distressed, I'm afraid I can't say the reason." Zhong Ruji said.

Shu Shi frowned, trying to talk in a tactful way.

Zhong Ruji understood the specific meaning of his frowns and smiles, and before Shu Shi could think of how to speak, he continued the unfinished story, but this time it was not so detailed, and it was too brief to hear too much emotion.

"Later, I was entrusted by my predecessors to a young man. He came to me instead of my former relatives, and we became friends. When I became an adult, I left the residential area, just when I thought I had the capital to protect my side. When there were people, we entered the same kill mission."

"His target was me, but I didn't find out. He helped me solve the target, and finally died in front of my eyes."

This passage of the past obscures important details, such as his friend committing suicide, choosing the latter for him between his best friend and his life.

This friend is called Ren Xu.

Shu Shi was stunned for a long time, unable to recover for a very long time, because he knew who this friend was.

Regarding Ren Xu's death, he had heard too many versions, but he never thought that it would be like this.

"So my reason is actually very selfish." Zhong Ruji held onto the corner of his clothes with downcast eyes, and said in a low voice, "I will be afraid, afraid of losing..."

He wasn't good at saying such provocative and weak words, so he frowned quickly and didn't continue speaking.

Accidents and deaths are unpredictable, so he is afraid, afraid that Shu Shi will never return.He couldn't bear the pain of losing a loved one again.

Shu Shi's heart was so soft that he almost blurted out "I won't go".

He let the other party pull the hem of his clothes, that bit of sulking has already flown to outer space as garbage.

The temperature returned to the range that the human body can adapt to. Zhong Ruji lowered his eyes, and the long and dense eyelashes covered the color in his eyes. Others couldn't tell what his emotions were.

Shu Shi felt that the corner of his clothes that fell on the other side was being tightened a little bit, and the not-so-soft material was gently rubbing against the skin, making it hard to ignore.

This kind of experience is like a kitten gently scratching its heart with its paw pads, and the fluffy hair on the side brushes by inadvertently, causing a burst of numbness.

Shu Shi watched Zhong Ruji put away his sharp eyebrows, pursed his lips again and again, and couldn't help sighing silently.

He always thought he was quite principled, but later found that these principles are nothing when they meet Zhong Ruji.

Zhong Ruji twirled the hem of his clothes carefully, quiet and docile.

"...Brother, it's too foul for you to do this." Shu Shi helplessly kissed the end of his eyes, and said softly, "But I'm also afraid, I'm afraid I can only look at your back, and it's too late to chase after you."

Zhong Ruji raised his eyes and moved his fingers a little.

Shu Shi once said that he became more and more gentle, maybe this should not be called a change, because it is his nature.

The shell covering the surface faded away layer by layer, sharp, fierce, and strong, and when these faded, only gentleness remained.

"How about we make a bet, bet on this task, bet on whether I can satisfy you." Shu Shi said, this is the best way he can think of, "If you are not satisfied, I will continue to practice steadily, you If you are satisfied, then feel free to let me chase you."

Zhong Ruji's evaluation of him has always been pertinent, there are praises and criticisms, there is no one to praise, no one to criticize, satisfied is satisfied, unsatisfactory is unsatisfactory, and he will not say something nice just because of their close relationship.

Zhong Ruji and Shu Shi are essentially the same type of people. They will consider each other's point of view and know how to respect each other. Therefore, when they have differences, they need a relatively fair solution.

"As long as there is a life-threatening accident, I will automatically terminate my personal mission," Shu Shi said again, smiling at him, "Bet? I bet you will be satisfied."

Zhong Ruji thought for a moment, then sighed and said, "Okay, bet."

Shu Shi rolled his eyes with a smile and said, "I have to work hard to satisfy you."

Zhong Ruji patted his head and said in his heart that I am satisfied.

Shu Shi's self-awareness is not clear enough, so that the score he gives himself is much lower than the actual score.Zhong Ruji accompanied him all the way, seeing with his own eyes how he has grown to where he is now, it is impossible not to be dissatisfied.

However, if he really wanted to let go, he would still be reluctant.