Married?Amnesia, don't lie to me

It was very warm in the heated room, but the hand that Shi Nan was holding was freezing cold.

Shi Nan took a coat from the closet and put it on for Song Linsheng.

Only the bedside lamp was turned on in the bedroom, because of the absurdity of the afternoon, the sheets and quilt covers on the bed were thrown into the washing machine before they could be set.

Song Linsheng leaned against the bay window with a cigarette in his hand and smoked slowly. He looked calm on the surface, but upon closer inspection, his hands could be seen shaking.

"I owe two people in my life, one is you and the other is her." Song Linsheng said hoarsely.

Shi Nan's heart moved. In fact, he heard Song Linsheng say this. At that time, he said, "If you want to say who he owes in this life, then Shi Nan is one of them." At that time, Shi Nan thought it was just a strict rhetoric. I didn't expect that there would really be such another person.

"My dad is very good to me, just like all dads who love children, he will buy me delicious food, take me out to play, watch TV with me, buy me favorite toys, and never scold me I don't hit me."

"On the other hand, my mother scolds me when things go wrong, and sometimes slaps me twice. She never buys me new clothes and shoes, and she doesn't always smile at you like your mother does. She never smiles at me. , and said that I was a dragger, dragging her and making her lose her freedom."

Shi Nan sat down beside him, and was pulled into Song Linsheng's arms, rubbing his chin against his hair.

"I like my dad, don't like my mom, and even hate her. The house where she is always full of suffocation, there is no laughter, only endless silence and depression, she looks at me with such obvious disgust. "

"She killed my dad and wanted to kill me. My dad was lying on the ground covered in blood and looked at me and asked me to save him, but there was nothing I could do."

Song Linsheng's hand holding the cigarette visibly trembled, Shi Nan held his hand steady, Song Linsheng took a puff, and then slowly exhaled a puff of smoke.

"For a long time afterwards, I always felt that my childhood was very sad. I had an unhealthy family and a mother who regarded me as an enemy and wanted to kill me. I should not be alive."

"No." Shi Nan hugged his waist tightly, "No."

"You're right, it's not." Song Linsheng suddenly smiled bitterly, "So it's not."

Shi Nan froze for a moment, looked up at him, and Song Linsheng's eyes were full of sadness: "The time I really realized all this was when I was in the orphanage, that woman threw her newborn child at the gate of the orphanage, and she ran away. When she left, she said that she could not have this child, and that having this child would ruin the rest of her life."

"Shi Nan, not every mother will give up her life for their children."

The cigarette butt was about to burn his fingers, Shi Nan held his hand and pressed the cigarette butt into the ashtray, Song Linsheng took a deep breath: "Later, I saw the warmth and coldness of the world, and then slowly recalled the past, only then did I realize that , it turned out that I was the one who drove her into the darkness step by step, and it was beyond redemption."

Shi Nan was taken aback, subconsciously looked up at him.

Song Linsheng half-closed his eyes, his voice was a little trembling: "Those memories are like drugs. At first, I didn't feel it, but once it happened, I realized how powerful the drug is."

"A woman, who has not yet graduated from high school, was tricked into going to bed and became pregnant. She obviously could abort the child and start over, but in the end she gave birth to the child because she was reluctant."

"The man she married is lazy, addicted to gambling, and likes to beat people. Every day, every minute, she wants to leave, but when she sees her young son who is underage, she gives up again and buries herself in this kind of stereotype. In the days to come."

"Later, as the child grew up, she thought that the child she gave birth to could be with her, but she didn't expect that the child liked that man even more. When she was beaten so badly by the man that she couldn't get up, Her son was watching blankly, and even said, can you stop crying? Listening to upset."

"Shi Nan, do you know why she didn't leave?"

Shi Nan opened his mouth, but found that his voice was hoarse and he couldn't speak.

"Because she wanted to take her son with her, but her son said, I don't want to go with you, I hate you, I hate listening to you, I hate having you in this family, I hate you scolding me all day, I hate you Let this housework rest in peace."

"Stop talking." Shi Nan's eyes were red, trying to stop Song Linsheng from continuing.

Song Linsheng trembled all over, and Shi Nan hugged him tightly in panic: "Don't think about it, don't think about it..."

Song Linsheng's teeth were chattering coldly, and his voice was hoarse: "I was the one who drove her to a dead end step by step, it was me, I drove her to a dead end, and it was also because I made Xiaobei deviate from his original life track, everything It's all about me, it's all about me..."

"No, no." Shi Nan choked up, "It was that man's fault, it was his fault, not your fault, you were just a child at that time..."

"Just a child?" Song Linsheng laughed a few times, "Is it just a child? So should you have a clear conscience?"

"Do you know what her son said to her the day she killed someone?"

"He said, why did you give birth to me? Why did you appear in this family? It would be fine if there was no you in this world? Why don't you die?"

Song Linsheng was ill, and the illness came and went like a thread. For several days, he was groggy and had a high fever.

Shi Nan asked a doctor to hang water for him at home. He occasionally woke up and behaved normally. He should eat, drink water, and then continue to lie down.

But Shi Nan knew that he didn't sleep soundly, as if he had been holding on for many years, but suddenly he couldn't hold on anymore, his inside was exhausted.

Song Linsheng was ill, but the company was running in an orderly manner, and there were no mistakes because of Song Linsheng's absence. It seemed that Song Linsheng had made a plan a long time ago, and had already foreseen possible problems.

That's right, his own memory is chaotic, and with his character, he will definitely do everything well.

Shi Nan himself was also very confused these few days because of what Song Linsheng said.

Before, he always thought that Song Linsheng's psychological shadow came from the fact that his mother wanted to kill him, but it turned out that it was not, but from Song Linsheng's guilt.

This guilt is due to time, as his understanding of this society gradually deepened, he saw the many powerlessness in this world, and began to understand Xu Lan's predicament back then.

A helpless woman who gave up everything for her son, she could bear her husband's domestic violence, but she couldn't bear her son's alienation and dislike for her, and finally took a knife to kill her husband, and even wanted to kill her son.

As that son, he hurt his mother at a young age and caused irreparable consequences. When he grew up, he suddenly discovered that everything had his unshirkable responsibility.

And all of this is irreversible and irreparable, and those who live in the years to come will always live in guilt.

Shi Nan came to Mei Qingyi's place again, and after Mei Qingyi poured him a glass of water, the two looked at each other speechlessly.

"What do you want to talk to me about today?" Mei Qingyi asked.

Shi Nan was silent for a long time, and shook his head: "I don't want to talk, just sit here and look at you." He didn't know what to say, he just felt that Mei Qingyi's place made people feel calm.

If it wasn't for knowing that Shi Nan and Song Linsheng had a very good relationship, Mei Qingyi could hardly sit still.

Shi Nan really sat dryly at Mei Qingyi's place for an hour, then got up and left.

When Shi Nan came home, he saw Song Linsheng downstairs.

The snow that fell in the small flower bed a few days ago has not yet melted. Several children are squatting there and taking a branch to make a square. Song Linsheng is sitting on the bench beside him, watching with relish.

"Aren't you cold sitting here?" Shi Nan tore off the scarf from his neck and wrapped it around Song Linsheng's neck, and Song Linsheng tore it off again to wrap it around.

"It's okay, the weather is fine today."

Shi Nan sat down beside him and smiled at him.

Song Linsheng held Shi Nan's hand: "I will go back to work in the company from tomorrow."

"Okay." Shi Nan was very calm, "I also think you are almost fine, Mr. Song, the company still has a lot of things waiting for you, if the company is over, what will we eat and drink in the future? "

Song Linsheng gave a "tsk" sound: "It means you don't want to support me?"

Shi Nan sighed: "They are all adults with arms and legs, why do you still think about letting others raise them? Mr. Song, your thinking is not healthy?" Shi Nan glanced at him: "But there is really no way, you want I can't do anything if it falls into my hand, can't I leave it? It's just that I still have a mortgage on my body, and I may have to eat chaff in the future... Oh, yes, it's not that bad, my parents seem to have some money , if you don't mind, how about we eat together?"

Song Linsheng seemed to think for a while, then nodded: "I don't think it's impossible."

The two sighed at the same time, and sat on the bench in the small flower bed downstairs, thinking about the prosperity of the old age.

It wasn't until Song Linsheng felt that Shi Nan's hands were getting cold that the two got up and went upstairs. After returning home, Song Linsheng said to Shi Nan: "You can help me on a business trip."

"Huh?" Shi Nan was stunned for a moment, "What?"

Song Linsheng was silent for a while before speaking again: "Help me to see her, see her life, and let her live a better life."

Shi Nan hesitated again and again: "Do you want...to meet her?"

Song Linsheng shook his head: "I think she will regret having a son like me in her life. I don't want to disturb her life for the rest of her life. Let her start over."

"I'll give you a card. There's money in the card. You can help me get a card for her. You can also transfer the money directly. Don't let her know that I gave it to her." Song Linsheng may not have used the wallet for a long time. After searching for a while, he frowned while holding a card: "Isn't this card mine?"

Shi Nan took a look: "Your uncle, that is my salary card. Didn't you confiscate it? Did you forget?"

Song Linsheng frowned.

"You don't need to give me a card. Didn't you give me one last time? There's not enough money in it?" Shi Nan glanced at the watch on the wall, it was 04:30 in the afternoon, it should be Song Xiaobai.

He was the one who confiscated his salary card last time.

Song Linsheng hesitated for a while: "Enough." Then he closed the wallet.