[abuse] a leaf boat

"Zhang Bing, the communication side specifically allows you to talk to your family members personally. The time limit is 5 minutes. You should seize the opportunity and now give you 10 minutes to organize your thoughts. Please follow the military regulations and do not say anything that violates military discipline." Meng Ren straightened his back and looked down at Zhang Bing who was sitting on the bed with no expression on his face.

call?To whom, is there really a line to the kingdom of heaven?Zhang Bing laughed at himself.

"Squad leader, can I leave this opportunity to others? I may not need it." Zhang Bing clenched his fists: don't pity me, don't pity me, I don't need cheap care, just treat me as an ordinary person.

Meng Ren was upset, and picked the corner of his eyes: "Your comrades fought for you, you can't refuse."

Zhang Bing thought of last night, the conversation of a group of people at night.They said "why doesn't he cry".Zhang Bing knew it. It turned out that they were just waiting for an opportunity to make them realize that they had redeemed their sins. They didn't need to apologize verbally. They only needed a tricked tear to mark the success of the redemption.

After all, they are all hypocrites.Zhang Bing's chest heaved violently due to excited thoughts.

"Have you made up your mind?" Meng Ren asked.

Zhang Bing nodded, followed the squad leader through the dark corridor echoing footsteps, and came to the beige door.The squad leader stopped knocking on the door in the air, put it down, turned around to face Zhang Bing, and pulled him aside.

"Why don't you tell the truth." The monitor asked.

"What the truth." Zhang Bing pretended to be stupid.

"The whole truth about being bullied, why do you have to be patient."

Why be patient?Yes, why be patient?No, I dream of leaving footprints on the stomach of someone who kicked me.But can you not be patient, even the instructor Wang Yaohu has conveyed the message of wanting to calm down, do you have more opportunities to resist?Who knows which comrades-in-arms have backgrounds, if I really annoy the people above them, what kind of painful situation I will fall into, will I return to the dark life of the class in junior high school, and will I still be depressing my life? , like the high school life of the host at the uncle's house.

People struggle just because they are not willing to die.I have struggled for half my life, and finally reached the present free life. Although it is still painful, although I still don’t know what kind of heinous crime I have committed, but fortunately, I don’t need to look at people’s faces to live. It’s only two years, just bear it and pass it .I have been living in hell for more than six years, and I can't resist it.

Zhang Bing bit his lower lip to prevent the tears from flowing easily: "What's the use?"

The squad leader asked suspiciously, "What?"

Fortunately, the squad leader did not hear.Zhang Bing believed in the squad leader and knew that he was the only person in the barracks he could rely on. If he told the whole truth, he would tell what happened to him.Will the squad leader lose control of his temper and take the initiative to violate military discipline because of himself? Not only will he not be able to seek justice for himself, but it may actually harm him.

He took a deep breath: "The squad leader asked me to make a call."

The squad leader looked behind Zhang Bing and said nothing for a long time: "You all come out."

Looking back, Zhang Bing saw the densely packed half-faces lined up on the edge of the wall, which was horrifying.The squad leader scratched his head and said, "This is the result of their discussion and request. Let's talk about it later. I'm leaving." He seemed not used to such an occasion.

The shy comrades came out one after another, stood in front of Zhang Bing in a line, and hinted at each other with their elbows.They finally stuffed the paper into the hands of a small boy.The boy looked left and right in a panic, glaring at them. Finally, he had no choice but to come out slowly, holding a stack of shiny papers, like holding a pure white khata, and respecting Zhang Bing.

The petite boy arched his waist and lifted the stack of papers above his head.

It was only then that Zhang Bing realized that the paper was shining because of the dense adhesive tape on it. From the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of the foot of the paper, which was the familiar shading pattern of letter paper.

He suppressed his heartbeat and gently picked up the slippery letter paper.Those letter papers are like patched clothes, tattered, there are only three sheets, and they are all pieced together from fingernail-sized pieces, like a bought puzzle.

He was speechless, and looked up at his comrades who were also looking at him, but no one spoke.It seemed uncomfortable to look at Zhang Bing, they all lowered their heads, and the small boy retreated back to the line with his head lowered.

Zhang Bing felt the soreness in his nasal cavity, and the soreness was rushing to his eye sockets.Before he had time to say anything, he knocked on the door and fled in in a panic.

A soldier helped him record the usage records, leaving Zhang Bing alone.

It seems that there is only 5 minutes of talk time, which should be short, but it seems to be a long time because of being overwhelmed.Zhang Bing picked up the phone, but still didn't know what number to dial, so he could only dial one at random, otherwise it would be suspicious if people found that there was no call record, and there was no need to consider the content of the recording.

The dialect that I didn't understand came out on the phone.Zhang Bing knew he was on the phone, and it was a man with a southern accent.It's okay, it's enough that I don't understand what he said.

As soon as Zhang Bing opened his mouth, tears dripped down: "Mom, Dad, I seem to be able to make friends. Although they are not very good friends, they may not hurt me." Zhang Bing flattened three pieces of adhesive tape: "Mom, I I don’t know if you will see me in the sky. If you can see me, don’t be angry with your son who doesn’t live up to expectations. Mom and Dad, I haven’t been able to make you proud so far. I’m just a wimp. There is no money to move your cemetery out of the field, sorry, really sorry."

He was choking so hard that he couldn't breathe, his jaw was shaking rapidly, and he couldn't control the rhythm of his body.The person on the other end of the phone was swearing in dialect, as if frightened by Zhang Bing's crying, he slowed down his speech.

"Mom, Dad, I live so hard, I really want to die, I really don't want to live anymore. Why do I always fail to do well, life keeps repeating, I've had enough, no matter how hard I try, it's useless, where am I? I am wrong, who can tell me. I feel desperate, there is no light on the road, even if I pretend during the day, I am used to lying, but I am sinking every day in my dreams. I am so scared, not afraid of the bottom of the sea, but afraid of slowly sinking the process of."

Zhang Bing wiped away his tears vigorously with his cuffs, and after a while, the cuffs were soaked.

"I'm sorry, mom and dad. I was too excited just now and said a lot of bad things. If you are watching from the sky, I hope you can forgive me. I will definitely cherish the life you are protecting."

"5 minutes is coming soon, please be prepared to disconnect in 30 seconds." A reminder sound came from the microphone.

Zhang Bing blew his nose, apologized to the other end of the phone, and hung up the phone instantly.He carefully folded the tape letter paper and stuffed it into his pocket, as if his heartbeat came from there, and the blood in his whole body was full of energy and became brisk.

Vent tears to take away some negative emotions.Zhang Bing still couldn't help pulling out the letter paper, reading it over and over again, so excited that he wanted to jump up to celebrate, and wanted to hug the stranger.

"Why are you standing on the wall in front of the door? Hurry up and leave." The soldiers in the communication room sent Zhang Bing away.But Zhang Bing did not move for a long time, holding his head up.

The soldier joked behind his back: "I've seen someone crying on the phone, but I've never seen you charging like this. Do you want to show off with such a tall head, but our army camp is full of stinky men, no woman."

Zhang Bing kept silent, anxious in his heart, why the tears could not be stopped, and fell like broken beads.Can't admit defeat.Zhang Bing was not willing to go out like this, the emotion in his heart was real, and it was true that he wanted to thank them seriously, but they hadn't formally apologized.

I'm really not reconciled, they will definitely be liberated when they see me crying, and then no one will keep hot water for themselves.In Zhang Bing's memory, toilet water was very fragrant when he was a child, and it was cool to repel mosquitoes, but it was very expensive. Zhang Bing heard the smell of toilet water on his classmates and was very envious.Covered with a quilt thick with toilet water last night, Zhang Bing thought of his desire to spray himself all over in luxury in the past, and lamented that the time is too short, and the memory of yesterday is ten years away from today.

Zhang Bing had the urge to hold them in his hands.He quietly opened the door and looked out through the crack. A group of people stood at the door like a zombie version, all poking through the crack of the door.

The eyes of one person and everyone met, and Zhang Bing was so frightened that he sat on the ground.Comrades came in to help Zhang Bing.No matter how reluctant Zhang Bing was, his red and swollen eye sockets were already exposed.Just like that, none of them spoke, and a group of people walked through the dark corridor with sparse steps, bang bang bang.

Back in the dormitory, no one spoke, the air was strangely dull, as if they were all waiting.

Zhang Bing thought: You all saw that I cried and won, so what should I do now.His fingers tapped on his knees for time.He took a deep breath, and just said, "Don't take special care of me." Then he regretted why his tone was so tactful, it should be tougher, so that people will be horrified when they hear it.

"One, two, three." Someone shouted the password.Suddenly, comrades from all directions stood up, bowed 90° to Zhang Bing, and shouted like a chorus: "I'm sorry." Several people stood up together, forcing him to bend over.Wrestling grumbled.

What's the situation.Zhang Bing's brain short-circuited instantly.What should I say next, everyone flattened their bodies, and the servants knelt down. In short, their heads were in an abnormal state.Finally he spit out a word: good.

Obviously no one paid attention to the profound connotation of this word, and the comrades who lowered their heads looked at each other in blank dismay.

"Forget about the past, let's turn this matter over." Jiao Li interjected beside him.

"I want you to be troublesome."

"I" is blocked.

"Okay," Zhang Bing said with difficulty, "As he said, the past can't be changed, and the future just needs to get along well."

Suddenly there was a whistle outside.The frightened birds in the dormitory tore off their clothes and got under the covers.Soldiers near the light switch still had to wear underwear, ran barefoot to the front door to turn off the light, and then ran back in a panic, no matter how dirty the soles of their feet were.

Zhang Bing was still covered with other people's quilts, with the scent of summer dew, and the winter wind outside the window hit the glass, and if he couldn't get in, he howled around and ravaged the branches.In a trance, Zhang Bing recalled the past in a forest where cicadas sang in a certain summer. At that time, he closed his eyes, was held by someone, and walked out of the dangerous forest step by step.

The warmth in the palm of my hand was the same as it is now.The warmth of the palm is an engraving, and now it reappears, flashing and flashing, only the rosyness I can see lies under the skin.

He closed his eyes, remembering everyone's appearance.

Yu Mengtian is small and immature; Zhu Ming is the first to run over naked at night to apologize;

Overnight, everyone's names were engraved on their foreheads, invisible but unforgettable.

The author has something to say: After writing this article, I was almost sleepy, and it was really uncomfortable not to sleep at noon.

I don’t know if someone discovered my writing. Sometimes the director always arranges me to do work at noon. It’s really annoying. As soon as I get off work, I will arrange some small tasks, either input data or write reports. After the arrangement in the morning, I Can be very fast last night.Maybe I'm overthinking, I hope so.