[abuse] a leaf boat

After his parents committed suicide with all the doubts, Zhang Bing, who was left alone, was thrown into an orphanage.The relatives around him were not willing to take over as the guardian. Even though Zhang Bing was repeatedly sent to his uncle by the welfare agency, what he faced was a long-closed iron door covered with various "cowhide fresh".In the end, Zhang Bing was sent to an orphanage.

The sky he saw was gray, the air was blue, and his body smelled like rotten meat.He doesn't talk much, like a puppet, he often moves a chair and sits in front of the window, watching the light leaking from the clouds.Time pushed the shadow of the window frame across his face over and over again.

No one talked to him, not to encourage him, but Zhang Bing was always like a frightened bird, once anyone touched him, he would flee to a corner.

It's not that he doesn't want to talk, it's that he can't talk at all.Even in the orphanage, Zhang Bing would still receive calls from strangers, and even get envelopes from strangers, and put them under his pillow.He can find it as soon as he sleeps.

Jingle bell, jingle bell is the bomb.

"Zhang Bing, go to answer the phone." The aunt of the orphanage said bluntly: "You have to persuade your relatives and behave like a good boy, so that you can be accepted by them. Do you hear me?"'

Zhang Bing could only nod, and then walked through the smooth corridor, being careful not to leave any footsteps behind.He stood on tiptoe and listened silently while holding the microphone in the reception room.

what did they sayZhang Bing doesn't remember much, but only remembers their threatening tone, and all threats require "death".

Zhang Bing didn't dare to speak, and every time the people on the phone were furious.He listened quietly until the other party hung up the phone, and he would count to 100 before he dared to hang up.

Perhaps it was the anger at Zhang Bing's unresponsiveness, and letters gradually began to be placed under Zhang Bing's pillow.He picked it up, ran to the toilet, closed the door, opened the envelope, and the letter paper was covered with Chinese characters cut out of newspapers, spelling out threatening words.

Even though Zhang Bing didn't understand much, the feeling of numbness in the scalp and profuse sweating when he saw the densely packed words was deeply engraved in his mind, and became a past that he had been avoiding.

So he has been mute for a long time, not communicating with others, who knows who in the orphanage sent him a letter.It's too unsafe here, Zhang Bing wants to live.

Fortunately, the previous junior high school accepted him, and I don't know why.Zhang Bing originally thought that he would become a tool for the school's publicity, but after another thought, he was considered a stain, and he had no value for the school to use.

But he had to go back to the orphanage.

After school, he must go back to the orphanage as soon as possible, and there is always a shadow behind him.He had to squeeze in the crowd, and his small stature kept drilling into other people's leg seams.

But no matter how he escaped, as soon as the iron gate was closed, he arrived at a veritable isolated island, surrounded by water, only the ringing of the bell came from the corridor.

Jingle bell, jingle bell, all kinds of strange sounds: sounds of anticipation, sounds of fear, sounds of anxiety.Zhang Bing could hear their undisguised purpose.

On the isolated island, Zhang Bing had no choice but to walk on the slippery floor, listening to the ringing bell amplified over and over again. with.

All the world is left with a din of terror.

~~~~~~~~~~

"Get up, get up. You still dare to sleep in class." The teacher ordered Zhang Bing, and threw a piece of chalk on his head impatiently.

Zhang Bing propped himself up from the cold desk, and it turned out that what happened before was just a dream.

"You, go and do a handstand for me in front of the blackboard. Hurry up." The teacher treated him badly, and Zhang Bing never dared to look him in the eye.

However, today the teacher's temper was particularly explosive.

Zhang Bing stood obediently in front of the blackboard, behind the students who could think of laughing at him.He bent down, with his butt facing the back in shame, blushing, but still didn't dare to lift his legs.He always thought that he would fail to support his body and fall, and he would definitely hit his head, so he couldn't get over the hurdle in his heart at all.

The teacher stepped forward and grabbed his legs, turned him up, and pressed him on the blackboard.Zhang Bing was so embarrassed that he supported the ground with one hand and covered his leaking belly with the other.There were waves of laughter in the seats, and they looked very happy.

Zhang Bing looked at the upside-down world, and everyone was extremely ugly.They have pointed bald heads, huge forehead lines like wounds, and a long flat beard.

Under the smiling gaze of the whole class, Zhang Bing felt ashamed, but what could he do, he had no choice but to support himself on the ground.

The teacher said: "You should be ashamed of your parents' crimes. There are so many corruptions. You don't need to be on the common people. If you don't benefit everyone, you deserve death. It's too easy to commit suicide. Now the teacher's salary is so low. , [-]% of our welfare is deducted by people like your parents. Now life is tight every month, and I still do the heaviest job. Every day except sleeping and rest, I just work. Raising children to go to school, which one doesn’t cost money.”

Many people were amused by the teacher's complaint.The teacher was so angry that he pointed down and scolded: "Laugh, laugh again, laugh back to me."

After the teacher let go, Zhang Bing fell sideways, but fortunately, it didn't hurt much.He sat up, feeling happy.The students behind are all laughing, laughing because of themselves.Hope rose in Zhang Bing's heart.If this is the case, is it possible to integrate into the classmates? Maybe everyone will change their attitude towards themselves and treat him kindly.After all, Zhang Bing made everyone laugh.

He turned to see a malicious smile.

The weather after class was gloomy, as if an earth-shattering rainstorm was about to end.

The students in the class attracted students from other classes for a few laps.Among the crowd, Zhang Bing was put on a high paper hat and was tied with a black rope around his neck.He was ordered to squat on the ground, put his head in his hands, and stare at the upper of the shoe.

Someone said: "This is the punishment during the Cultural Revolution. I heard it from my grandma. This is how the older generation was persecuted."

"This is not good, it hurts to be strangled by the rope." Some girls were worried.

"It's okay, it's okay, we don't tie it tightly, don't look at strangling the neck, but it's different."

Another person said: "That's right, let's treat it as our extracurricular internship, and it can be regarded as reshaping history, so that this scene will not be repeated again. Let's treat it as acting and learning. Zhang will definitely feel happy, everyone All students are part of it.”

Zhang Bing, who could only stare at the upper of his shoe, should have been happy that his classmates cared about him, but his tears dripped abnormally like broken beads.But I should obviously feel happy.

Wearing a hat of "Hitting Corrupt Officials", he was dragged through the corridor, and the students around him joked about hitting him, because they felt that the novelty was full of happy atmosphere.Many students began to use this to hit other students, just like a farce.

When the trouble was over, some students said, "Thank you Zhang Bing." Everyone actually applauded.

"Why are you crying?" a classmate said.

"No no, it's sweat." Zhang Bing wiped the corners of his eyes immediately.

"Student Zhang is dedicated! I'm exhausted."

There was another burst of applause.

But Zhang Bing couldn't laugh no matter what, his face was glued and dry.He felt ashamed.

"Let's sew a hat on his scalp, so we can practice often, and the Spring Festival celebration can use this as a program for campaigning."

Yes, yes, everyone agreed, and the laughter and applause twisted.

Zhang Bing got up and ran away immediately, but was grabbed by hundreds of arms and dragged him into the darkness.

~~~~~~~~~~

Zhang Bing sat up straight suddenly, and hit his forehead hard on the iron frame of the upper bunk.Pain gave him sobriety.

It turned out to be a dream.He was sweating profusely and felt his hair, and he was relieved that the hat hadn't been sewn on.

The winter wind outside the window whistled and swam in the air, and the dead branches without leaves made a shriveled sound.There was no strange sound in the bedroom except for the snoring one after another.

Zhang Bing hid in the cold bedding, his body was wet, and he couldn't warm himself no matter what.He felt that he was lying on a lonely boat, floating in the black ocean, drifting with the current, like a water plant with its roots broken.

He cried softly.

So sorry!Why did he burn the photos of his parents.At that time, he hated his parents very much. If he was born in an ordinary family, he would definitely end up living alone in the classroom.He didn't want to go back to the orphanage, so he lived in the classroom without telling the teacher, principal, and classmates.But the winter is too cold, there is no floor, and the cold desk is like a bottomless pit that swallows the temperature.He hates so much, hates everything.

Zhang Bing took out the photo of his parents and set it on fire without even thinking about it.The edges of the photo were burnt yellow, and the flames covered and spread, returning a faint warmth.

But now, Zhang Bing didn't even have the chance to miss him.He really wanted to dig a way to the underworld, even if his fingernails were torn and blood flowed in, it didn't matter, as long as he could see his parents.But there is no way, even if there is a heart that breaks through the south wall, so what if there is no hell in this world.

Someone came over, Zhang Bing quickly pretended to sleep.A few seconds later, he pretended to turn around, only to notice the sound of plastic under the mattress.He carefully took it out and found that it was a snack.

Zhang Bing got out of bed in a hurry, and stumbled out with snacks.Someone must have set him up, and he must be dealt with immediately, otherwise who knows what will happen.Maybe it's a new round of framing, but to the comrades in the same class, maybe it's just a joke about the boring life in the military camp.

Someone followed him.As soon as Zhang Bing went out, he noticed someone getting up quietly.

"These local tyrants and evil gentry are determined to kill me." Zhang Bing cursed in a low voice, quickened his pace as soon as he left the house, and prepared to destroy the bag of snacks in the toilet.

Never look back, Zhang Bing thought to himself.There was no way to get rid of the people behind him right now, so Zhang Bing pretended to go to the toilet, tore open a mouthful of snacks and poured them quietly into the urinal.

"Hey, why did you throw away the food?"

Sure enough, there was really a dark shadow following him.

Zhang Bing hurriedly stuffed the snacks into his trouser pocket, pretending to go to the toilet.

"What snacks? There are no snacks." Zhang Bing couldn't stop talking.

That black shadow was a boy smaller than himself, with a round face, and looked very cute, but his voice didn't agree with his appearance, his hoarse voice was probably torn apart by shouting slogans.

"You really are. I put the snacks on your bed." The boy was so angry that his voice was hoarse and his speech was slurred. Zhang Bing didn't understand.He was even angrier, making Zhang Bing dubious even by making gestures and guessing.

Zhang Bing took out the crushed packing bag: "This is yours."

The boy pulled it over: "Of course it's mine. I saved it. You fell down. I thought about it for many days. After hiding it for so long, I didn't dare to turn over and go to sleep for fear of being discovered. Today I give you courage, but this is the result, I regret it so much."

"Why, why?" Zhang Bing couldn't figure out what relationship this person had with him.

"Forget it, forget it." He turned his head and left.

Zhang Bing stopped him: "Why did you give me snacks, isn't it to frame me?"

As soon as Zhang Bing finished speaking, he saw the expression on the boy's face twisted into a pimple. It turned out that Yu Bo's frowning of eyebrows was not a skill at all.

"I framed you, and I was so full that I died. It's because you are pitiful." The boy didn't give him a good face at all.

"I'm sorry!" Zhang Bing wanted to "pay back" a few words, but suddenly thought of what happened today, and his face turned pale.

"I'm sorry." The boy apologized immediately: "I didn't mean to say the wrong thing. I just thought they were wrong. But I don't know what to do, so I just want to apologize to you, so I just, don't hate me, I'm with you They're not the same kind."

Zhang Bing took a deep breath and quickly adjusted his mood: "No, I thank you." He walked around the boy and was about to walk away, but he grabbed the corner of his clothes.

"My name is Weili." Jiaoli shouted to the back of Zhang Bing's head.

"I know." Zhang Bing hummed twice, broke free, and walked forward.

"I'm dizzy, haven't you thought about fighting? This is the army and not a den of bandits. Are you willing to be bullied?"

"I am willing? Your eyes feel that I am willing." Zhang Bing gritted his teeth and said.

"Huh!" Jiao said vigorously, "I can see with every eye in my body that you are willing. If you don't want to, you bow your head to them and dare not speak; if you don't want to, you can still endure them not reporting to other instructors. I really don't know how cowardly you are. If I..."

Zhang Bing was poked.He has indeed been obeying, from junior high school to his uncle's family in high school, and then to a group of gangsters in the army.Always obey because of fear.But his fear is rooted in his heart, and ordinary people don't understand it at all.

"Are you brave? When I was being bullied, why didn't you stand up and promote yourself." Zhang Bing fought back, feeling that he was unreasonable, but he didn't want to take care of his wrestling emotions, and wanted to severely damage his pride and self-esteem.

"I'm such an idiot, it's my fault for messing around. I'm, um, not very brave," Wrestler faltered and said, "What can I do, there are so many of them. The point is that you don't do something for yourself. It's your problem, I can't solve your problem, I also need to take care of myself."

"It's not like the whole world is your parents." Wrestling added another sentence.

For the first time in history, Zhang Bing had the urge to clench his fists and fight someone.But the premise is that the wrestling force in front of him looks weaker than himself.It turns out that bullying the weak is common to all people.Thinking of this, Zhang Bing was discouraged again, deeply feeling that he had failed.

I used to be a spineless, courageless, cowardly and evasive person. In order to avoid threats and fears, I could nod and bow to everyone, and I also evolved the ability to explain my behavior.

Seeing that Zhang Bing's morale was low, wrestling was too embarrassed to say anything.There was an embarrassment between the two of them.

Before leaving, Jiao Li turned his back on Zhang Bing and said, "You should do something, not just bear it. No one will treat you softly because you endured it. The bullying is getting worse. You have to rely on yourself."

After wrestling finished speaking, he left, leaving Zhang Bing staring at the flickering light bulbs in the toilet in a daze.