[abuse] a leaf boat

The sound of the train hitting the rails, every few seconds, was too loud in the unfamiliar carriages.

Yu Bo sat by the window, watching rows of telephone poles flying backwards and coming in from the front, repeating the cycle.He saw a lot of farmers farming, some stinky-looking cattle and sheep, although there were too many new things he hadn't seen before, but none of these aroused his heart like sinking into the bottom of the sea.

He began to think of Nanye again.

Memories about Nanye were like a needle poking at his nerves.Those memories, when Yu Bo hadn't recognized Nanye clearly, and hadn't been hurt by him, were as sweet as honey.

I remember in junior high school, when school was over at noon, Nanye always stayed late to let himself go first.Yu Bo once deliberately left as usual, and quietly returned to the classroom, preparing to surprise him.Through the window glass, Yu Bo saw Nanye alone eating some hard-looking steamed buns, dipped in fermented bean curd.

No wonder Nanye has never grown taller, no wonder Nanye is always so thin, and no wonder Nanye was bullied when they first met.But why didn't he go home? Maybe it's too far away from home.Yu Bo worried about him.

But why is Yu Bo so worried about him.To this day, Yu Bo can't analyze the reason when he hears the sound of railroad tracks being crushed, he only remembers his worry at that time.

Standing outside the classroom, Yu Bo had an urge to go in immediately, throw away those steamed buns, and take Nan Ye to eat something good, even his own dogs would not eat them.But he didn't do that, because Nanye's self-esteem was too strong, and he couldn't even bear the wrinkles in his clothes. It wasn't because of cleanliness, but because he felt that he would be looked down upon by others.This is what Nanye told Yu Bo, it was the time when Nanye was crying because of something.

The Nanye that Yu Bo saw was a strong boy, not tall but very proud.He likes people who struggle and fight, and Nan Ye's fragility arouses Yu Bo's desire to protect, and this feeling gradually deepens in the days to come, making Yu Bo miss him all the time.

Yu Bo communicated with the teacher, and through the teacher gave Nanye the title of award for top students, he was given a meal ticket every month.Of course, the money is paid by Yu Bo, so the monthly meal ticket money is naturally scary.

He thought that Nanye's reluctance to go home at noon must be because he wanted to spend less time at home.Every family has scriptures that are difficult to recite, this is what his mother often repeats, and Yu Bo thinks that Nanye can handle it well.But he was still worried.But the worry was diluted by Nanye's stature.

In physical education class, Yu Bo patted Nanye's head and said, "You grow very fast." He was very satisfied, as if the tree he had planted had matured.This kind of pride is a bit like when Nanye received the award on the conference stage, Yu Bo patted the surrounding students, regardless of their surprised eyes, proudly straightened his chest, thinking that Nanye's achievements had his own credit.If he hadn't asked him questions frequently and copied his homework, how could his knowledge be so solid.

Both credit and hard work account for half.Yu Bo thought domineeringly.

Nanye patted his hand off and said with a sneer: "Wait and see, I will overtake you soon, when the time comes, don't remember to be angry when I pat your head."

From then on, Nanye didn't know what stimulated Yu Bo. The first thing he did when he came to school every day was to drink 500ml of milk and play basketball hard.

Until they got their ID cards, the two went to apply at the same time and got them together.Yu Bo breathed a sigh of relief, patted Nanye's head and said, "Boy, I'm still taller than you, and you've been below me all your life."

Nanye looked contemptuous: "You still remember, stingy. People don't stop growing after 18 years old."

Yu Bo still remembered his panic at that time.My God, I still have to pour myself milk as hard as I can, when will I be a head.However, looking down at Nanye, he was still a head short of himself, mocking secretly: Even God, you have no chance to grow too tall.

That kind of happiness is too simple.

Through the car window, Yu Bo heard Feng Jian scratching the glass with a smile.

The sweet memories at that time are not only bitter now, falling into the abyss has become an unforgettable hatred.Every frown and smile of Nanye made every cell of Yubo inflate with anger.Maybe Nanye has always been hypocritical, but he was very kind and sincere before, why did he hurt himself so deeply.

Yu Bo joined the army regardless of his family's opposition, because he was afraid that one day he would kill Nan Ye.Regardless of whether he admits it or not, there is still a piece of land in his heart for Nanye.

"Excuse me, would you like a cigarette?" In exchange for Yu Bo's delicate voice, he withdrew from his memory.

He turned his head and saw Zhang Bing who was awkwardly waiting for Yu Bo's response.He bowed his hands, and Zhang Bing distributed them to others, flatteringly lit cigarettes for others, and pretended to be old-fashioned by saying non-slick words.

Yu Bo felt disgusted looking at it, the same thing as Nanye.But Nanye is better than him, at least he still has self-esteem. The person in front of him, who is about as tall and handsome as Nanye, behaves even more vulgarly.

Yu Bo's anger was poked in the mouth, and gradually vented out.He looked at Zhang Bing like a clown.

The body is too thin. Although he is wearing a military uniform, he can't see clearly, but the clothes are shriveled.The wrist bones are about to break through the skin, and there are no rough veins on the back of the hand, and the bones have become the lines of the skin.Zhang Bing's skin is fair, but too thin, the blue blood vessels can be seen clearly.

Yu Bo suddenly felt angry and irritable, not only because of the noisy environment in the car, but also because he could always see the shadow of Nanye from Zhang Bing.

Zhang Bing's every move made Yu Bo tighten his fists.

Zhang Bing didn't notice Yu Bo's expression. After being rejected for offering cigarettes, he immediately nodded and bowed to light others.Before he got on the train, he didn't live in a group, not because his family was rich, but because he didn't have any money in his pocket and couldn't even afford to get sick.Once you go out, you won't come back.Zhang Bing thought hard.So joining the army became his bravest decision.After all, in the original city, he was like a mouse that everyone shouted and beat. Although many years have passed, when others know Zhang Bing's parents, no matter how hard and diligent they are, the accumulated evaluation will be emptied.

Therefore, in order to survive, Zhang Bing can only keep his love for his parents deeply in his heart.Thinking that they are no longer alive, even if Zhang Bing wants to plan three thousand feet with his hands, even if his wrist is broken, it doesn't matter, but he can't get back his parents who once sheltered him from the wind and rain.

Zhang Bing is an adult, and the hometown in his heart is not the hometown that wanderers from other places dream of, so he has to avoid and escape in a hideous way.

Anywhere is good, dandelions can take root everywhere, he is a homeless person who will not be recognized by his acquaintances if he begs for food, so there is nothing to be afraid of.

Zhang Bing's plan is to serve as a soldier first and see if he can make a name for himself.No, after leaving the army, stay in a city near the army.Just out of the army, he must have an allowance on hand, and he must be able to find a job before he starves to death.

However, right now he has to fight with others.

Having never experienced group life, Zhang Bing passed cigarettes inappropriately. It was not like flirting with others, but trying to please others, giving others a low-key attitude.

The so-called attitude of others towards you is what you teach others.

Jia Xiangmeng, who was sitting opposite, finished smoking and returned the butt of the cigarette to Zhang Bing, and the others followed suit and watched his jokes.With soot in one hand, Zhang Bing smiled brightly.

"Hey, this guy is quite happy. I really want to share the same dormitory with him, and the clothes don't need to be washed." Jia Xiangmeng talked to Lu Shi who was next to him, but Lu Shi didn't pay attention to him at all, with a serious look on his face.

Zhang Bing kept a bright smile, but his heart was a bit bitter. What did he do wrong? He really wants to get along with others, and why the response he got was wrong.Although he always thought that he could be a cruel person, if he had conflicts of interest with other people, he would definitely kill them.

The vicious thought was just Zhang Bing's fantasy when venting his anger.At that time, Zhang Bing imagined that under his meticulous words, the people who had angered him would be calmed down by the intimidating eyes, or that he would go back to the past again, dig a hole and wait until the "enemy" was frustrated, and he would calm down and calm down. Passing by, he gave a violent blow to his fragile heart.

But these fantasies are really just fantasies, and Zhang Bing has never realized them.When it really came time to be cruel, he knew he couldn't be cruel.

However, he is always training himself on the way to become a ruthless character.

Bitter in the heart, but Zhang Bing has special venting skills.

Look, that face shape, is it because the midwife didn't catch it and fell to the ground; look at the big and small eyes, not only is it ugly, but also its aesthetic level is ugly. Doesn't it feel awkward to look in the mirror every day? Because I couldn't buy a flight ticket and was too ugly, I was refused a visa.If I grow up like that, even if I sell my kidney, I have to make sure that I don't disgust others and don't embarrass my motherland.That's right, it's right that such ugly people don't go abroad, and it's the whole of China that loses them.

While laughing, Zhang Bing focused on Jia Xiangmeng and some others, even Yu Bo couldn't escape.

Zhang Bing took a glance at Yu Bo, who was leaning against the glass window in a daze, and said sarcastically: "I don't even pay attention to me, I really want to see what parents who can teach a son like you look like!"The size of the board is still small and fresh, hurry up and sleep by the window, when the train swings and hits your head, I hope you can keep it the same.

When I'm on the rise, you mice are just waiting to hug your thighs.Zhang Bing encouraged himself and added new reasons for his efforts.

He was about to turn around and throw away the trash, when Lu Shi suddenly asked, "Do you smoke?"

Zhang Bing shook his head foolishly.

"Then you still give others cigarettes. Your behavior is very bad." Lu Shi said seriously.

For every word Lu Shi said, Zhang Bing wanted to sprinkle the ash from his palm on Lu Shi's face as an accompaniment.I really hate this kind of people who take saving the common people as their mission. Every word is flaunting that they are different, intellectual and beautiful. In fact, every word is said to themselves, which makes them fuel their narcissism every day.If you look in the mirror, you really want to see how beautiful you are in his eyes.Zhang Bing apologized while thinking.

Lu Shi was obviously surprised by Zhang Bing's attitude, and said ashamedly: "You don't have to be sorry, I don't smoke, but I think those of us who don't smoke second-hand smoke generally hate the smell of smoke. You actually deliberately create second-hand smoke , I think you didn't live up to expectations, so I was a little rude just now, I'm sorry."

Lu Shi's words made Zhang Bing completely confused about this person and confused him.Lu Shi didn't deliberately avoid other people, but directly spoke his heart, completely ignoring other people's eyes, and didn't mind at all.

In less than a minute, Zhang Bing was completely occupied by his inner complaints. His attitude towards Lu Shi improved instantly, and he wanted to get close to him.Zhang Bing is envious of people who can speak their minds. He has never been able to do it. He has long been used to the ability to laugh when he is about to cry.When exactly did he learn it? Zhang Bing thinks it might be because he has been living in his uncle's house for a few years.

Zhang Bing thought, Lu Shi should have a good family background, otherwise why would he have such a healthy mentality.Thinking about himself, Zhang Bing felt that he was still a bit inferior.But it’s fine to bear with it now, the low self-esteem and so on are all due to the bad reputation in my hometown, as long as I come out, start a new life in a brand new place, and be reborn as a brand new self.everything will be fine.

There will be bread, and there will be milk.Zhang Bing kept repeating this sentence to himself, missing these two flavors that he hadn't tasted for a long time.

Many backpack straps leaked from the top, swinging left and right with the train.Zhang Bing carried a water bottle, and after filling it with water, he did the same exercise as the carriage, shaking it from side to side.He was dizzy and felt dizzy, and he could see annoying people as soon as he opened his eyes. He didn't know if it was because those people were annoying, he felt sick, and he just wanted to spit at the phantom in the air.

Zhang Bing adjusted his mentality, feeling quite good after being dizzy.He always wanted to go to the bar, but he didn't dare to go. Without good clothes, he would definitely be laughed at.Now it's good, you don't need to spend money to open your eyes, and you can feel the feeling of wine.What makes Zhang Bing even more inexplicably excited is that he feels that if drinking is such an uncomfortable thing, he will definitely not spend money on alcohol in the future, just as excited as he does not spend money on cigarettes.Zhang Bing once thought that everyone would drink like an uncle when they grew up. Although he often beat people, Zhang Bing cared more about the money he paid for these things every day.The salary is not much, but it is necessary to use these life-consuming things as enjoyment.

When Zhang Bing was very young, he always felt that growing up was a painful and luxurious thing.When he grows up, he can live by himself without looking at other people's faces, and can save a lot of money.As for what to buy, Zhang Bing didn't care too much.He prefers the security of money bundled together.In the class, he actively campaigned for the life committee, and the teacher was willing to let him be elected.Although he did not have a high number of votes, he was elected this time.He was also puzzled, and gradually realized that the teacher might be manipulating from behind.The reason is that I am too picky.

Standing in the swaying carriage, Zhang Bing seemed to be stepping on a ball of cotton.He vaguely thought of what happened when he was a child, and how many years passed in a flash.He passed a boy sitting by the aisle, his face was very young but his face was blue, and he looked unhealthy.

Zhang Bing stared at him, thinking: He has great willpower, and he can still sit still when he is uncomfortable.

Before he could finish his thoughts, the boy fell headlong to the ground.

Zhang Bing quickly squatted down, helped him up, and picked him up.People gathered to have a look.

Yu Bo was encouraged by Huang Zhentao to come over and perform.He couldn't stand Huang Zhentao's familiarity, and didn't think that his identity would be known by others.

Huang Zhentao asked him, "Where are you from?"

Yu Bo looked out the window and said, "It's dawn."

Huang Zhentao asked without hesitation: "Which street is in Tianliang City?"

Yu Bo turned his head, wanting to see what a person with a bad accent looks like.He was very annoyed, so he put it down directly: "Which street? Inquire about such details so that your accomplice can steal it."

Yu Bo thought that tearing up his face would give him a moment of peace, but Huang Zhentao asked relentlessly, "I have no accomplices. Look, this is my ID card."

He literally pulled out his ID.Yu Bo was so blocked that he could not speak.He didn't think this person was too stupid to hear good words, but he seemed to be pretending to be a pig and eating a tiger.

For people like Huang Zhentao, Yu Bo thinks it's useless to be tough, just a few sentences are enough.He chatted with Huang Zhentao one sentence at a time.When someone fainted and caused commotion, Huang Zhentao was able to pull him over and take care of him together.

Yu Bo came over and saw Zhang Bing hugging that man and feeding him water, he was a little disgusted.He didn't think the man was putting on airs, but he was holding his own kettle.He's a bit of a clean freak.

I remember Nanye asked him, if Yu Bo was invited to eat together, would Yu Bo feel dirty.At that time, Yu Bo felt that Nanye might be a bit inferior. In order to encourage Nanye, he said solemnly: "I just like to eat your saliva."

That was the first time Yu Bo felt embarrassed. He couldn't forget how he felt at that time. He only hated that his nails were too short and couldn't dig a gap.

"Fuck it, I feel sick just thinking about it." Yu Bo recalled the past, he was angry, he clenched his fists, but he couldn't control the obscenities that came out of his mouth.

Everyone looked at him, which made him wake up.

Zhang Bing repeatedly apologized.In a panic, he casually opened a pot of water.I didn't expect to offend the central character.As if sensing danger, Zhang Bing felt a little short of breath, and his hands trembled a little. The boy, who was so shaken that he fainted, held the water bottle to drink water by himself.Then, the boy fainted again.

"The accompanying military doctor will be here soon." A reply came from behind.

The crowd scattered like watching a play.

Zhang Bing also wanted to leave, but was caught by the fainted boy.The boy squinted his eyes and looked out through the crack, as if weeping tears in fear.

Yu Bo, who was sitting in his original position, was a little ashamed. He stretched his neck and looked out as much as possible to avoid being noticed. After a while, when Zhang Bing came over, he could explain that the sentence was not aimed at him.Seeing Zhang Bing cowering, Yu Bo felt uncomfortable for some reason, not because he felt distressed, but because he felt ashamed because he had become a stranger.

Zhang Bing leaned down and asked the boy, "Are you really sick?"

"You are the only one who is sick, and your whole family is sick." The boy's voice was not loud, and the words were not pleasant, but he was very anxious.

"Yes, yes, my whole family is sick, thank you." Zhang Bing picked up the water bottle and was about to leave, but was still held tightly.

The boy's eyes were wet, and he said in a low voice: "I don't want to be a soldier. My father forced me to. I thought I could stop going if I was sick. I was holding back just now. It doesn't mean that if I'm not fit enough, I don't need it." Have you gone? Why is there a doctor? If I had known, I would not have stolen money to play games."

Zhang Bing felt exhausted and admired his willpower, he was able to hold his breath.He wiped the corners of the boy's eyes and said, "You have come up, don't think about going back for the time being. After two years, you must be a good man. By the way, no matter how you check later, you must continue to act. Don't let me go." If you admit that you are homesick, you will be looked down upon by others.” Zhang Bing thought for a while, and then said: “You still have a home you can steal, and a father who hates iron. Don’t give up this opportunity to hone your skills. .”

"I, I" the boy faltered, "I didn't steal money from my family."

Zhang Bing sighed, and changed the subject: "Don't tell others that you're just pretending, don't pretend to be yourself." He seemed to think of something, and asked the boy sideways: "Why do you only tell me, am I very close to the people? There is that kind of feeling that others feel like spring breeze when they see it."

"No, I see that you are carrying a lot of water bottles, and I think you must be easy to bully, and no one will believe what you say." The boy closed his eyes and said.

The author has something to say: Two chapters have been updated, how can more people see it!Wait online, hurry up! ! !