Only 100 days left in life

The long night is long, and the ray of light in the sky has not yet appeared.

There is only endless wind blowing outside the window, blowing out a fine song from the sleeping leaves.

Suddenly waking up from the dream, Shiratori Mariko's consciousness remained at that moment.

She sat up holding the quilt in a daze, and the white noise for sleeping was still playing in the earphones.The continuous, never-ending rain flows gently in the earphones, as if trying to appease Shiratori Mariko's slightly tense emotions.

The joints are a little painful, and there is a faint itching, which is the same as before going to bed, which is a late complication.

Every part of Shiratori Mariko's body exudes the message of longing for sleep. Tiredness troubles her, but reason firmly occupies her brain, and she is not allowed to fall asleep.

It seems to be like this all the time recently, the sleep is getting lighter and lighter, and the time of sleepiness during the day is getting more and more.

Shiratori Mariko exhaled slowly, and the slightly rough texture of the quilt under her hands conveyed a little warmth that seemed to be absent.

The phone lit up, as if someone had sent her a message.

Shiratori Mariko stretched out her hand a little irritatedly, then retracted her hand abruptly when she was about to touch it, as if she had been scalded.

Looking at the date above, Shiratori Mariko blinked, and the drop of tears that just hung in her eyes fell down like this, and fell on the quilt covering her knees, and the wet position was like a blooming flower.

Yes, just as she realized in the dream, another day had indeed passed.

It's ridiculous to say that a person like her who keeps saying "can't be luckier", but because she is afraid of the passage of time, she wakes up in the middle of the night in panic and anxiety, confirming her own time.

Shiratori Mariko covered her face, tears trickling down her fingers.

Isn't the future in the dream not good enough?Was he stingy with giving her even the chance to indulge in a dream for a moment?Why do I have to maintain those waking moments that I don't need to appear even in my dreams?

"No one won't leave, it's just sooner or later," she murmured the words in her dream, "I know, but"

But why her?

"You should be content," Shiratori Mariko scolded herself hard, "Even if you have so many friends in such a short period of time, in less than a hundred days, you have traveled to so many places and met so many interesting people." Things—what else is there to be dissatisfied with?”

When it came to the last sentence, she paused for a moment, and then repeated it slowly, "Is there anything you can't be satisfied with?"

Thinking of this sentence, Shiratori Mariko's tears that had stopped falling down again.

She is not satisfied.I have only walked a little bit on the road of obtaining and accepting love, and it is coming to an end. How can I be satisfied?She is not reconciled.

Shiratori Mariko hated herself for being weak and indecisive at the moment, but she couldn't help hugging her knees and buried her head down.

"Are you stupid," she whimpered to herself, "how can you be so naive?"

She should give up unrealistic fantasies, take a look at what else she has to do, make a list in the remaining time, and then realize them one by one, just like solving those old work schedules The table is the same.

Put aside those things that concern others, and really ask yourself what you should be doing.

But, but, what she wants to do—what she does every day is what she really wants to do.

Accompanying my friends, I can do whatever I want, and I have never been restrained. It doesn’t matter if I turn or give up a certain section of the road on the spur of the moment. Looking at the scenery that is roughly the same every day but there are always subtle differences, I will happily live a full and fulfilling life. day.

Shiratori Mariko suddenly felt a sense of powerlessness, and her heart that was churning was like a paper airplane spinning in the air, turning back straight to the original direction.

She groped in the dark and came across the napkins thrown on the bed, pulled out a few, and wiped the tears on her face indiscriminately.

After taking a few deep breaths, Mariko Shiratori stared blankly at the empty quilt in front of her, then turned over and got out of bed, planning to find something to eat in the refrigerator to divert her attention.

The days always go on, don't think about the future, and don't recall the past.

Even if it is still difficult to calmly face the doomed life and death, let's do this first.

Admitting that she is a mediocre person, admitting that she is powerless, at least for Shiratori Mariko who is used to this, is not that difficult.

Mariko Shiratori pulled on her slippers, walked to the kitchen, and carefully opened the refrigerator.

Unfortunately, it was empty except for some vegetables, which reminded her painfully of the two big bags of garbage piled up at the door.

Of course, this wasn't what Mariko Shiratori ate—the "useless but barely passable" snack that someone always whipped up while betting on the horses.

However, no matter what Fuhesher's tone was at the time, the problem now is that Shiratori Mariko is hungry, and obviously she can't conjure anything out of thin air to appease her stomach.

Mariko Shiratori sighed as she closed the door of the refrigerator that was lit.

Just when she was about to go back to her room and sleep to forget all the things in her mind and the hunger, she saw the convenience store discount card left next to the refrigerator.

Shiratori Mariko subconsciously glanced at the dark figure sleeping in the corner of the living room, and then looked at the discount card.

How about going to the convenience store downstairs?By the way, buy something to eat?

Putting the discount card on the table near the door, Mariko Shiratori glanced at Fuhesher who was still sleeping, and finally returned to the room.

Thinking of the hot Oden in the convenience store and other fast food that can be heated, she closed the door and turned on the lights in the room.

After changing clothes, let's go. It's a quick fix. You can also buy some back, so you can save yourself making breakfast tomorrow.

The door of the bedroom was slowly closed, and at this moment, the originally quiet camp bed trembled a little.

Fuheshier, who was considered to be in a deep sleep, turned around slowly, and looked at the closed door of Shiratori Mariko. Unknown emotions flickered in his calm and sharp eyes as usual, obviously he had woken up for a while up.

After a long silence, he said to himself, "I'm hungry."

After changing her clothes, Mariko Shiratori walked through the living room lightly, trying not to make any extra noise.

She picked up the discount card she put away, took the door card and key, and opened the door.

Carefully holding the phone, Shiratori Mariko closed the door and glanced at the location across the corridor.

The residents across the door had moved out for a long time. In fact, after Fedya left, no one lived in that house again.

Shiratori Mariko sighed and yawned.

She reached out and pressed the button of the elevator, waiting for the elevators on other floors to slowly go up.

Within a few minutes, the elevator door opened, revealing the empty inside.

Shiratori Mariko rubbed her eyes, walked in listlessly, pressed the button on the first floor, and waited for the elevator door to close.

Three or two seconds later, at the moment when the elevator doors were about to close completely, someone suddenly pressed the button on the outside, and the elevator doors opened again.

As the metal door slowly opened, Mariko Shiratori, who was shocked and woke up suddenly by this sudden incident, and Fuheshier, who was wearing home clothes, met their eyes.

Shiratori Mariko:?

Fuheshier glanced at Shiratori Mariko, walked in as if nothing had happened, and pressed the close button very naturally.

He didn't look like he had just woken up at all.

Seeing that Shiratori Mariko had been staring at him, Fuheshier raised his eyelids again and glanced at her.

"What's the matter?" he asked.

"It's nothing," Shiratori Mariko said subconsciously, and by the way consciously gave way to Fuheshier.

She remembered that this guy was more used to standing against the wall, no, wait a minute, she seemed to have forgotten something.

Shiratori Mariko was silent for a moment.

"When did you wake up?" she asked.

Facing Shiratori Mariko's question, Fuhesher was silent for a while.

Seeing Mariko Shiratori with disheveled hair and red eyes, he answered irrelevantly, "I'm hungry."

Shiratori Mariko: "Huh?"

"So," she asked confusedly, "wait a minute, are you here for dinner???"

Fu Heisher said succinctly, "Yes."

Mariko Shiratori felt that this answer was really no surprise: "Oh."

After a pause, she still hesitated and said, "Well, so, did you hear anything?"

Fuheshier glanced at Shiratori Mariko, "What did you hear?"

His perfunctory answer made Shiratori Mariko relieved.

"It's nothing, it's fine if you didn't hear it," she said reluctantly, "it's not something that you have to hear."

After a pause, Shiratori Mariko asked again, "So, when did you wake up?"

She always felt that something was wrong, but she couldn't tell what was wrong.

Fuhesher paused suspiciously.

He seemed a little reluctant, and said slowly a second time, "I'm hungry."

Shiratori Mariko finally understood what Fuheshier meant this time.

She felt a little embarrassed, but still insisted, "So you heard."

Vol Heshel:

In a rare display of his remaining conscience, he chose to remain silent at this time.But the silence at this time obviously represents acquiescence, or more meanings.

Just at this moment, the elevator reached the last floor.

Surrounded by such a depressing atmosphere, Shiratori Mariko almost hurriedly stepped out of the elevator, which was so narrow that she felt a little hard to breathe, and rushed out of the apartment building.

Even a bustling city like Tokyo is quiet at night, the streets outside are empty, and there are almost no traces of pedestrians.

Mariko Shiratori looked at the dark road with only a few street lights on, and she became a little lost.

She didn't have time to care whether Fu Heisher followed behind her, she held the discount card in her hand, and walked towards the convenience store on the other side.

After walking a few steps without hearing the sound, Shiratori Mariko thought that Fuheshier had left.

"Probably go back," she thought a little self-defeating, "I guess I plan to just wait and eat it, it doesn't matter, it's already like this anyway. It can't be more embarrassing."

While holding the discount card, Shiratori Mariko pushed open the door of the convenience store.

But she didn't even think about turning her head, and she didn't realize that Fuheshier was actually following her, not far or close, and occasionally raised her head to take a lazy look at the movement nearby.