Scum smell

Ji Yao has a secret in his heart.A secret that even Zhang He doesn't know.

In fact, Zhang He always felt that Ji Yao's attitude towards Wen Lin was contradictory.While Ji Yao kept saying that he never wanted to touch Wen Lin, at the same time he ran over to tease him from time to time, clearly saying that he wanted to let go, but he always entangled Wen Lin even tighter.

While Zhang He couldn't help feeling that Wen Lin was cheap, he also sympathized with him, and at the same time, he couldn't get used to Fa Xiao's demeanor.Ji Yao has always claimed that he wins people's hearts with his own charm, and there is nothing he can do if Wen Lin likes him, but in the eyes of Zhang He, who has a straight line of thinking, Ji Yao is a bitch.

He didn't know that Ji Yao, who is such a bitch, really treats Wen Lin with sincerity.

Ji Yao's feelings for Wen Lin are very entangled. As he said, he has never wanted to touch Wen Lin, but the fact is that after so many years, he has long regarded Wen Lin as his restraint, and decided to treat Wen Lin before. The moment Lin let go, he was so uncomfortable that he almost exploded.

Wen Lin was clearly his property.

But Wen Lin is nothing.Wen Lin is a person.He just fell in love with a piece of trash blindly, and Ji Yao knew that he couldn't use this as a weapon to wrap Wen Lin tighter and tighter like a spider.

Intellectually, he knew, but he felt uncomfortable—this kind of extremely oppressive sense of powerlessness was something he never had in front of any lover.

Why this feeling, Ji Yao knew very well in his heart.The so-called brotherhood that has been ambiguous and stalemate for a few years is part of it, and another reason is that he once—

Ever since he was exposed as a transvestite that day, the little soldier who has been ignoring him has become even colder. Although he spent a long time explaining that he really didn't mean it, the little soldier still looks like you have a problem with your character. I can't be bothered to pay attention to your appearance.

They would also hang YY during the game, but it was always Ji Yao who said, and the little soldier typed back to him.Ji Yao asked depressedly why he didn't speak, and the other party said that he didn't want to talk to scum.

Ji Yao: "..."

Well, you operate well, you are awesome, everything you say is right.

After knowing that he was a man, one time Ji Yao accidentally slipped out Wen Lin's name, the little soldier suddenly exploded, and he tapped on the keyboard angrily: "Why do you keep mentioning him?"

Ji Yao shut his mouth in embarrassment, thinking that it might be a straight man's discomfort when faced with a man talking about another man, he said vaguely: "Then what... I thought you had discovered it a long time ago, I It's gay."

It takes courage to come out in reality, but through the screen, saying that you like the same sex is just a matter of lip service.

The other party was silent for a while, and then typed a line: "Do you like him?"

"What the hell kind of question is this?" Ji Yao's voice was surprised, as if why did you ask such an idiotic question, "Although my liking is cheap, but I like it—my buddy is very nice, of course I like him .”

Wen Lin was almost trembling. He stared blankly at the computer screen. After a while, he typed a sentence slowly: "Then why."

Why did this question ask endlessly, but Ji Yao instantly understood.He thought to himself that this person was a bit gossip, but these crap things had been suppressed in his heart for a long time, Zhang He listened impatiently, and he didn't dare to say anything about others, as time passed, they almost rotted.

Now there is a person who wants to hear a story—even if it is just someone who wants to have a good meal, there is nothing he would not like to tell.Anyway, the two ends of the network cable do not know each other, and the population of the country is so large, even if he walks on the street for 80 years, he may not be able to meet him.

Today is the New Year's Eve, and I will have a New Year's Eve dinner soon, and I can't scan the dungeon even if I check the time, so I just hang up and chat.

So he hesitated for a while, and finally told the truth: "Because I dare not."

Wen Lin was stunned.

Ji Yao seemed to be able to sense the other party's question, he paused for a moment, then stretched out his fingers, rubbing the calluses left by playing basketball on his hands.

"Let me tell you a secret. One time, I was on the sidelines of the basketball court, watching this buddy who had always had a crush on me play. The ball went in, and then he turned his face and smiled at me - he looked so fucking handsome I'm not afraid of your jokes. At that time, I thought in my heart, damn it, it would be great if I were a woman. In this way, I dare to like him, and he can like me. "

——Ji Yao is always so bad to Wen Lin, he is always far away from him, sometimes close, with a vague attitude, and clearly wants to let him go, but hangs on to him.On the one hand, it was because the two had been buddies for so many years, and on the other hand, it was because he once liked Wen Lin.

Lukewarm, unpassionate, like plain boiled water, with a bad personality, the street has long been outdated, Wen Lin.

Wen Lin can't tell witty words, can't be funny, doesn't look like a man, doesn't have a man's personality, doesn't act like a man, but he is always a little self-righteous, and when he sees him serving a cup of iced milk tea, he has to use paper to separate him ——It's ridiculous, does Ji Yao need Wen Lin to do this?

But this person has always respected him and never made it difficult for him. He can cry, laugh, blush, and get angry, but he has never hurt him.The rigid Yu Siyuan has edges and corners all over his body, and when he polished these edges and corners, he also left himself covered with scars; the proud Jiang Qiutong never took the initiative to bow his head, even if he reluctantly showed weakness, he always seemed condescending.

Ji Yao likes new and exciting things, likes the pleasure of training and conquering people, likes to shape others into what he wants, and then forget about them.His philately became more and more serious, his lovers were different from each other, and he spent a lot of time and energy to subdue them, but there was only Wen Lin who he was never willing, unwilling, rare, and reluctant to do. , Before Ji Yao could do anything, he took the initiative to pull out every thorn in himself, smoothed all the edges and corners of himself, and opened his arms to him.

He sneered, but couldn't help but feel sore in his heart.He is ruthless enough, hard-hearted enough, so even Zhang He doesn't know, but in fact he Ji Yao also has feelings.

Ji Yao closed his eyes, rubbed his eyelids with the calluses covered with his fingertips, and his voice became weaker and weaker: "He is a straight man, I don't want to bend him, I don't want to drag him into the mud, it's very easy to be friends. Well, buddies are fine too, it’s best to stay away from me, have a meal and play basketball once in a while, and the relationship is neither salty nor weak, that’s fine.”

"That's an idiot, like Wei Lan's kind of wood—oh, it's my ex-boyfriend, who would beat me up if I dumped him. But I played with him for so many years, but he only spilled a cup of coffee on me. Please , It’s only a cup of coffee—it’s not harmful at all, I’m so thick-skinned, I slap my ass and leave after washing my face, can I go back to spend the night as usual!?”

Ji Yao covered his face with that hand, concealing the expression on his face, and inserted his slender and strong fingers into the hair, making the hairstyle more messy.

When he decided to confess that time, he took advantage of Wen Lin's class time, got up before it was dark, took the bus for several hours, took taxis again, and finally arrived at Wen Lin's school.In fact, he was very hesitant along the way, did he really want to let go?Do you really want to confess?Is there a compromise?

He didn't want to lose Wen Lin, he knew that once he made a deal, he wouldn't even be able to be a friend.

He stood at the door waiting for Wen Lin to come out of class. It was very cold outside, with snow piled on the ground, cold air crawling up the soles of his feet, and he was as frozen as a log.

It's so cold.he thinks.

Then he wondered if Wen Lin lived like this every time he came to school to look for him.

It is dusty, cold in winter and hot in summer, wind and rain.

Forget it, let it go, and treat it as a good deed.Finally he thought.

So, he went back with his coffee on his back.

"..."

The room was silent, the other party never responded to him, and he didn't speak again.After a long silence, Ji Yao suddenly repeated again without thinking: "...if only I were a woman."

When he just entered puberty, he knew his sexual orientation, and he was at a loss and confused.Since he was a child, he had a faint feeling that he was different from other people of the same age, and after this difference was confirmed, Ji Yao wished that his hunch was false.

I remember that in the first day of junior high school, they wrote essays, and the topic was what they wanted to be.Zhang He, who had begun to take shape, sat upright and wrote stroke by stroke that he wanted to be Michael Jordan, turned his face away, and saw Xiao Jiyao's title, he wanted to be a girl.

Later, Ji Yao tore up the composition and handed it in quite well, saying that he wanted to be a teacher.

Because at that time, he already knew that it was very strange that he wanted to be a girl even though he was a boy.

Ji Yao didn't let himself dwell on the past for a long time, he wiped his face and was about to say something when his cell phone rang, it was Zhang He who sent him a message.

"What are you doing upstairs, get out and eat the New Year's Eve dinner?"

Oh, yes, today is New Year's Eve, and we have a New Year's Eve dinner.

Ji Yao was stunned for a moment, then returned to his usual smile, and said, "Oh, my family asked me to eat, I have to go."

The other party typed a word: "Yes."

Ji Yao smiled, stood up, and said briskly, "By the way, I wish you a happy new year."

After finishing speaking, he didn't look at the other party's reply, downloaded YY and the game, and jumped downstairs to eat.

At the other end of the network cable, Wen Lin slowly took off the earphones and said softly, "Well, happy new year, Ji Yao."

As she spoke, tears flowed down her chin one after another.

brain hole.

As soon as the Duke entered the imperial study, he saw the emperor lying on the couch, looking through the picture albums of ladies who had not left the cabinet.

He raised his eyebrows: "You haven't played with men enough, are you finally planning to attack innocent women?"

The emperor waved his hand: "This is for Shidu Wen. He is not young, and it's time to get married."

The Grand Duke folded his arms and looked aside, and said with a sneer, "Are you willing?"

The emperor's long and slender fingers tapped on the table a few times, with a low and gloomy voice.

He smiled, his long eyelashes drooping slightly, covering the expression in his eyes, and then he looked down at the picture album again, with a faint voice.

"I...of course I'm willing."